Incomplete Strangers

Chapter Thirteen

November 2014, Canterbury, Kent, England

Molly spent the rest of the day scrubbing every surface of the flat, washing the blankets on the sofa and tidying up the piles of books. She got her outfits ready for the week ahead and unpacked the suitcase full of clothes that she’d packed for the weekend.

She wondered what Mark was doing, and where he was. What would he say if he knew that someone else had slept in her bed last night? Or that she’d thought about nestling her head on Chris’s chest and letting him hold her? Ruminating would get her nowhere, she decided, and she needed to get ready before Chris came over.

She took off her pyjamas and threw them on the bed, catching sight of herself in the mirror inside the open wardrobe door. Slowly, she turned, studying her curvy figure. She and Saskia had never been self-conscious about their bodies. Their free spirited mum had made sure of that. As she stared at herself in the mirror, an image flashed into her mind, one of her and Chris together in her bed, her fingers trailing across his cheek.

Where did that come from? she thought to herself. She shook her head and walked into the bathroom.

She ran herself a bath and lay back in the hot, bubbly water with a new book. It was the sequel to the steamy romance novel that Saskia had lent her. Her mind drifted off as she read, imagining that Chris was the main character, a spy who had been tasked with protecting a wealthy heiress from a mysterious enemy who wanted her dead. Her pulse raced as the bodyguard and the heiress finally gave in to their feelings. Every sound, every touch was laid out for her on the page.

As she read, she hoped that this would get him out of her system, that she could leave her crush behind her in the pages of the book. The female main character murmured with pleasure as her spy turned lover satisfied her every desire inside the walls of his bombproof home. As she clung to him tightly, her body drenched with sweat, she whispered to him.

‘You make me feel safe.’

Shit. She shut the book and tossed it onto the tiled floor. This hadn’t helped. It had just made things a hundred times worse. She took a deep breath and sunk her head under the water.

When she surfaced again, her heart was still pounding. Through the bathroom window she could see the sun setting over the houses on the other side of the road. Chris would be back any moment now. She pulled herself out of the bath and wrapped herself in a towel.

As the sky outside darkened, Molly put her hair into rollers and went through her wardrobe trying to decide what to wear. She didn’t do low cut or revealing. She felt sexier with a boat neck and a midi dress than she did in a tube of Lycra. The doorbell rang and she ran downstairs in her bathrobe to answer it. Her breath caught in her throat as she swung the door open.

‘Chris! Hi.’

He was wearing a navy silk bomber jacket, the one she’d seen on the train, a dark blue T-shirt, tight fitting black jeans and black desert boots.

She swallowed hard. ‘Come in.’

‘I hope you’re not going out like that.’ He smirked.

She stepped back to let him into the hall. ‘No, definitely not, I just lost track of time.’

Thanks to that book,she thought to herself.

She tried to avert her eyes as Chris slipped his jacket off, revealing his toned arms. Now the feelings were out there, in her head, she was struggling to stuff them away again. Every time she shut her eyes, she could see him, wearing a suit, shutting her in his bedroom, telling her he would protect her.

‘I’ve booked us into Riad for dinner at seven.’ She paused. ‘I thought you’d like it.’

His eyes lit up. ‘The new Moroccan place? I’ve been wanting to go there since it opened, just haven’t had time.’ He locked eyes with her. ‘If at any point you want to leave, we go. No questions asked.’

‘Thank you,’ she breathed, feeling overwhelmed.

He was too handsome, too kind. Too caring. She needed to put some space between them so that she could sort her head out.

‘I’ll just go and get dressed. Do you want a drink? I’ve got some beers in the fridge.’

‘I’d love a beer, but if you want me to drive tonight, I won’t,’ he replied.

‘No, let’s get a taxi, then neither of us has to drive,’ she said quickly.

Being in his car somehow felt too intimate.

‘Then yes, I will have a beer,’ he said.

‘Coming right up,’ she said, pulling her robe around her and walking into the kitchen.

As she pulled the fridge open, she groaned. Saskia had put the bottles of beer on the top shelf, and she couldn’t reach them.

‘Chris!’ she called. ‘Can I borrow you?’

He appeared in the kitchen doorway. ‘What’s up?’

‘I’m too short, and I can’t reach the beers,’ she said with a resigned sigh.

If he found this funny, he didn’t let on. He simply reached up to the top shelf and passed two bottles down to her.

‘Thank you.’

She slid the cap onto the edge of the worktop and smacked the top of the bottle with her hand, releasing the cap, before handing the bottle to Chris.

‘I’ve never seen it done like that before,’ he said, taking it from her.

‘That’s what she said.’ She burst out laughing and opened her own bottle of beer. ‘My dad taught me to do this.’

He laughed too. ‘Yet another layer, Molly. Santé.’ He tapped his bottle against hers before taking a sip.

‘I should go and get ready,’ she said, taking a sip of beer.

Even in her rollers, and with bare feet and face, she still didn’t feel awkward with him.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘Shall I order a taxi?’

‘That would be great, I’ll be back in ten minutes.’ She smiled at him and hurried out of the kitchen, taking her bottle with her.

She flung her wardrobe open and ran her eyes over the contents. Jeans would be good. Jeans and a jumper. She was only going out for dinner with a friend. Her fingers ran over the soft fabric of the green dress she’d planned to wear on her date with Mark. It seemed like it wanted to be taken out tonight. Ignoring the voice in her head telling her it was a bad idea, she slid it off the hanger and put it on. The bodice clung to her curves and the full skirt flared out from the waist, stopping just below her knees. The Bardot neckline showed off her neck and shoulders but hid her cleavage. It was elegant, not revealing. It was perfect.

Sliding out her rollers and putting them back in their box, she smoothed out her curls and added a coat of the blood red lipstick that she’d worn at Halloween. As she stared at herself in the mirror, realising for the first time in months, the haunted, scared expression had left her eyes. Her sparkle was back. She slipped on her favourite rings, handed down from her mother, two simple gold bands, one studded with emeralds and rubies, her, and Saskia’s birthstones.

Just be his friend,she told herself firmly as she studied her reflection.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up her black peep toe stilettos and clutch bag and went downstairs.

***

Chris sucked in a breath as the living room door opened and Molly walked in, sat on the edge of her sofa, and put on her heels.

‘Wow,’ he said, ‘it’s Tracey Lord herself.’ He smiled, but his heart rate had ramped up, and the shy smile she gave him in return was almost more than he could handle.

She laughed. ‘Thank you. I like this.’ She ran her fingers down sleeve of his jacket. ‘It’s so soft.’

He shivered, her touch like a bolt of electricity down his arm.

‘Thanks.’ He picked up his phone. ‘The taxi has just arrived.’

‘Can you fasten the hook at the top of my dress?’ she asked.

He nodded. ‘Sure, hold on.’ He rubbed his hands together so that his fingers weren’t cold.

She turned around and brushed her hair to one side, then he fastened the hook, his fingers brushing her soft skin. Her scent enveloped him, and he stepped away quickly as his feelings threatened to overwhelm him.

‘You’re all good.’

‘Thank you. On y va!’ she replied.

Inside the taxi, Chris glanced at Molly. Her eyes were shut tight, and her breathing was heavy. He knew this would be hard for her, but he also hoped it would help her to heal. As her eyes opened, he held out his hand to her and she took it, her scarlet nails digging into the skin on the back of his hand. He gave her a smile and she smiled back, just as the taxi stopped at the rank on the Burgate, the ancient, cobbled street that ran towards the cathedral.

‘You good?’ he asked, turning to her after he’d paid the driver.

‘I’m good,’ she replied, though she looked unsure.

He slid out of the taxi and offered her his hand, helping her out.

‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling at him.

He wanted to hold her hand as they walked into the city together, but he reminded himself that she wasn’t his, and he wasn’t hers. They were friends. He did watch her closely, though, and noticed that as they got closer to the restaurant she seemed more relaxed. The sounds of glasses and cutlery clinking, and laughter floated through the air as they walked through the narrow backstreets, full of restaurants and bars.

When they arrived at the ornately carved wooden door of the restaurant, he opened it for her.

‘After you,’ he said.

‘Thank you.’ She smiled at him and he followed her inside.

‘Good evening and welcome to Riad.’ A dark-haired waitress greeted Molly and Chris. ‘Let me show you to your table.’

As they sat down, she handed them both drinks menus. ‘I’ll be back in a moment to take your orders.

After she left, Chris turned to Molly. ‘What do you recommend?’ he asked. ‘I’ve never had Moroccan food before.’

He thought it was a strange choice considering her boyfriend’s mum was Moroccan but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to ruin the evening before it even started.

‘It all sounds good,’ she said studying the menu. ‘I would go with flatbreads, houmous, dips, and olives to start and then a tagine. That’ll give you a good introduction to the flavours.’

‘Sure.’ He nodded. ‘I’ll try anything.’

When their starters arrived, Chris followed Molly’s lead and tore off a strip of flatbread, dipping it into the houmous.

He nodded appreciatively. ‘This is good.’

‘It is.’ She gestured to a small bowl which contained a thick red sauce. ‘That’s harissa and it’s very spicy, just to warn you. I can’t tolerate spicy food at all.’

‘Well now I want to try it,’ he said, taking a piece of flatbread and dipping it into the bright red sauce, before taking a cautious bite. ‘You’re right. That’s spicy, but it’s also delicious.’

‘You’re welcome to it,’ she said, laughing. ‘I’ve learnt my lesson. It’s not for me.’

When the lamb tagine arrived, piled on top of fragrant couscous. Molly spooned some of it onto her plate.

‘You know if we were in Morocco, we would be eating this with our hands.’

‘I always try and do what the locals do when I go abroad, but I’m glad we have cutlery tonight.’ He paused. ‘Do you eat with your hands when you’re over there?’

She nodded. ‘I do, and I make such a mess, but Mark’s family are used to it. I use a big napkin.’

‘Big napkin for the win.’ He smiled. ‘Do you go over there a lot?’

He needed to get a feel for how close she was with his family. She talked about them and his mum more than she talked about him.

‘I’ve not been for a year or so,’ she said. ‘Mark is always too busy to go. It’s a shame. His family are lovely. They’re very close, and it reminds me of how my family used to be before Dad moved back to France and Mum died.’ She took a sip of her drink. ‘That’s what I want one day. A family, a noisy, chaotic family. How about you? What do you want out of life?’

‘Wow. That’s a big question.’ His eyes met hers. ‘I want a family too, for sure. I’m very close with my family and I want to be with someone who shares the same goals.’

His mind drifted for a second, imagining him and Molly together, but then he remembered that she had Mark. It was Mark’s family that she was looking to emulate.

‘Does Mark want a family too?’

She paused. ‘I think he does. He’s just very focused on his job right now.’

He could read her like a book. Whatever the situation was with her and Mark, she wasn’t happy with it. He could tell from the way her eyes had taken on a sadness, and the way she nibbled at her bottom lip, as if she was afraid to talk about it. He didn’t want to push her. Changing the subject was the best idea, he decided.

‘Do you think Scott and Saskia are a good match?’

‘I don’t know Scott that well, but what I do know, I like.’ She put down her cutlery. ‘Saskia is smitten with him. I’ve never seen her fall so hard for anyone.’

‘Same with Scott,’ he replied, nodding. ‘He’s fallen for her big time. I like her, and I think she’s good for him.’

‘I guess we have to be very grateful for that power cut,’ she said, smiling.

The sadness had left her eyes now, and the light from the candle on the table flickered in them as she spoke. ‘You and I are such good friends, and Scott and Saskia are inseparable.’

He repeated Molly’s words to himself. We’re such good friends. And that was how it would have to stay.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘It worked out well for all of us.’

***

Molly put her card down on top of Chris’s when the bill arrived. The food had been incredible, and although the restaurant had only been open a few months, it was packed. She wasn’t surprised. The food was as good as it had been in the small village just outside Marrakech where Mark’s family lived. Was it slightly weird that she’d brought Chris here, when her boyfriend’s family were Moroccan? Possibly. But it reminded her of somewhere comforting, safe, and where she belonged. So she pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind.

‘Thank you,’ she said to the waiter as she tapped her card on the card reader. ‘The food was incredible.’

He smiled at her. ‘You’re very welcome. We hope to see you again.’

‘I’ll definitely be back,’ she said.

‘Me too,’ Chris said. ‘I’ve never had Moroccan food before, but I’m a huge fan.’

As the waiter walked away, Chris slipped on his jacket. ‘

Are you ready to head to Mimosa? Kate and Alex are there already.’

‘Sure,’ Molly said. ‘Let’s go.’

She put her coat on and followed Chris out of the door and through the bustling city streets to Mimosa.

‘What do you want to drink?’ Chris asked her as they walked into the bar.

‘A rum and Coke would be great, thank you,’ she replied.

She fought the urge to grab Chris’s hand. The bar was packed and without the alcohol fuelled bravery from the last time she was there, she felt vulnerable.

‘Sure,’ he said, turning to the barmaid. ‘Can I get two rum and Cokes, please, Jo?’

‘Hey, Chris,’ she said. ‘How are you?’She took two glasses from the rack above her and started making their drinks.

‘I’m good thanks,’ he replied, then nodded to Molly. ‘This is my friend, Molly.’

‘Hey, Molly.’ Jo smiled at her. ‘Good to meet you.’ She put their drinks on the counter in front of Chris. ‘Thanks, love,’ she said, as she took the note that he handed her.

‘Is Scott working tonight?’ Molly asked, picking up her glass and taking a large gulp. The rum warmed her throat and calmed her nerves.

‘No, he’s off tonight. He’ll either be asleep already or out with friends and he won’t turn up until three am.’ He laughed.

‘I can believe it,’ Molly replied, taking another sip of her drink.

Chris picked up his glass and turned to Molly. ‘Have you seen Kate and Alex?’

She shook her head. ‘It’s too dark in here.’

He scanned the room. ‘Come on, we’ll go and find them.’

Molly smiled as she reached the table at the back of the room where Kate and Alex were sitting.

‘Hey, Molly,’ Kate said. ‘Cute dress. Where did you guys go for dinner?’

‘We went to Riad. The food was so good,’ Molly replied. ‘I’m so full right now.’

‘Hopefully not too full to dance though, right?’ Alex said. ‘My set starts in an hour.’

‘I didn’t know you were playing tonight,’ Molly said.

Alex rolled his eyes. ‘I wasn’t supposed to be, but one of the DJs cancelled, so I got roped in.’

Chris sat down opposite Molly and clinked his glass against hers. ‘Santé.’

‘Santé,’ she replied.

‘Are you French, Molly?’ Kate asked.

‘Sort of, my dad’s French,’ Molly replied, feeling hot and uncomfortable. She didn’t want to talk about her dad, especially around Chris. ‘Your aunt lives in France, doesn’t she?’ Chris had filled her in on Kate and Alex on one of their train journeys.

Kate nodded. ‘Yeah, she lives in Nice. We had the best holiday there this summer.’

‘She lives in the hills, in this villa overlooking the sea,’ Alex said. ‘It’s the perfect place to escape to.’ He checked his watch. ‘I’m up. You guys had better be on that dancefloor in a minute.’ He drained the rest of his glass and winked at Kate before he walked off.

Molly had almost finished her drink already, and she could feel her cheeks warming from the rum. She looked up as a woman with dark hair walked over to the table.

‘Mia!’ Kate said, sliding out of the booth and giving her a hug. ‘You made it! Do you want a drink?’

Mia shook her head. ‘I’m good. I came to dance.’ She smiled at Chris. ‘Hey! Long time no see.’

Chris stood up and kissed Mia on the cheek. ‘I know. Good to see you. This is my friend, Molly.’

‘Hello, Molly,’ Mia said as Kate knocked back the last of her drink. ‘Are you joining us?’ She gestured to the dancefloor which was already packed.

Molly nodded and finished the rest of her drink, following them through the crowd.

A pang of sadness swept through her as she watched Kate and Mia dancing. She thought about Saskia, and how much she wished she was here too.

‘What’s wrong?’ Chris shouted to Molly over the music.

‘Just missing Saskia,’ Molly replied. ‘Ignore me, I’m being stupid.’

‘No, you’re not,’ he said, and held out a hand.

She took it and he twirled her under his arm, before pulling her back towards him. She could smell his citrusy aftershave, mixed with rum, as he locked eyes with her. He’s my friend, she told herself. Yet every time her eyes met his, she kept wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

When the last track of Alex’s set finished, Molly felt the hot, sweaty trickle of anxiety running down her spine. The bar was packed, and she could barely see her way out. Everything felt too loud and hot. She felt Chris’s arm around her waist, and she turned to face him. He guided them through the crowd, and back to their table.

‘Hey,’ he said. ‘You’re really pale. Are you alright?’

‘I am now. I felt…it was too much,’ she replied.

‘I could tell. Do you want to go?’ he asked.

She nodded. ‘Is that OK?’

‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I’ll sort out a taxi.’

She sunk into the soft velvet booth and sucked in a breath. Her skin felt clammy, but the anxious feeling had passed.

‘Hey love, are you OK?’ Kate appeared next to her.

‘I’m fine,’ Molly said. ‘Just needed some fresh air.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Mia said, sliding into the booth opposite Molly. ‘It’s too hot and everyone keeps bumping into me.’

‘Smashed it again, mate,’ Chris said as Alex walked over.

Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t know. There were some dodgy mixes.’

‘Adds to the atmosphere,’ Chris replied. ‘At least they knew you were doing it live.’

‘There is that,’ Alex replied.

Chris turned to Molly. ‘Our taxi’s here.’

Molly stood up. ‘Great set, Alex,’ she said. ‘I loved it.’

‘Thanks,’ he replied. ‘I’ll see you soon, I’m sure.’

‘See you again,’ Kate said, blowing her a kiss.

Chris took her arm and led her out into the cold, wet night, and the waiting taxi. She climbed inside and laid her head back against the head rest. She’d done it. She’d proved to herself that the city was safe. Even without her sister with her, she was safe.

‘How are you feeling now?’ he asked.

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Thank you for tonight, I had a great time.’

‘So did I,’ he said. ‘I was just glad I didn’t get roped into doing a set myself. I get so nervous beforehand I want to throw up.’ He laughed. ‘I didn’t sleep for two days before the last one.’

‘Oh no, that’s awful,’ she replied. ‘You’ve got nothing to worry about. Everyone was dancing for the whole of your set.’

‘True. I couldn’t do it every weekend though. I’d hate the pressure and having everyone staring at me,’ he said.

‘Me neither, I don’t like being the centre of attention, unlike Saskia, who likes all eyes to be on her.’

She smiled and thought of Saskia, wondering if she was still in rehearsals, or whether she and Caro were out drinking. She hoped she was safe, wherever she was.

***

As the taxi drove through the darkened city, Chris’s hand brushed Molly’s, and a tingle of electricity shot up his arm. Fighting his feelings for her was getting harder.

‘What”s on your mind?’ he asked. ‘You look worried.’

Had tonight been a step too far for her? She had seemed to be enjoying herself, but now her brow was furrowed and she was biting her lip.

‘I miss Saskia, but I had the best time tonight. You’ve been so sweet to me, and I…’ She paused. ‘I’m so scared of having another nightmare.’

‘Do you want me to stay with you tonight?’ he asked. ‘I can if you need me to. My car’s at yours anyway. I’d planned on driving tonight.’

Whatever she wanted, he would do it.

‘I don’t want to make you sleep on my sofa again,’ she said laughing. ‘You’re too tall.’

‘I fall asleep on my sofa most nights,’ he replied. ‘Honestly, it’s fine.’

She nodded, and he saw her let out a long exhale. He wondered how much of her true feelings she hid, how much of her own discomfort she squashed, so as not to inconvenience anyone else.

The taxi pulled up outside Molly’s house, and he got out first, then offered Molly his hand. She took it and he helped her onto the pavement, before paying the driver.

Molly unlocked the door, gestured to Chris to go in first, then followed him in, locking it behind them. She leant against the wall to unbuckle the straps on her high heels.

‘Shit.’ She tossed them onto the floor and glared at them. ‘So pretty, but so painful.’

Laughing, Chris shook his head. ‘I’ve never heard you swear before.’ She never failed to surprise him.

‘Layers, baby,’ Molly smirked at him. ‘I’m an onion, remember?’

‘Of course, you are,’ he said, smiling. ‘Are you a bit drunk?’ His head felt fuzzy, and he couldn’t remember how much they’d had to drink.

She frowned. ‘We didn’t have that much to drink, did we?’

He leaned against the worktop. ‘We had a beer before we left here.’ He paused. ‘Then a beer and a mint tea in the restaurant, then two mojitos in the bar. More than I’d planned on drinking. I wanted to stay sober so that I could look after you. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I had a great time. Kate and Mia are so funny. They remind me of me and Saskia.’ She looked away from him, and he knew she was feeling sad again.

‘Hey,’ he said gently. ‘Don’t be sad. Saskia will be back here soon.’

‘Will she?’ Her eyes glittered with tears. ‘This might be it for her, her big break. She might move to London and I’ll hardly see her.’

‘I know things are changing so fast right now, and it’s hard to keep up, but that bond that you and Saskia have, it’s so strong,’ he said, fighting the urge to put his arms around her. ‘That won’t change. You’ll always have it.’

‘You’re probably right, as always,’ she said, looking up at him. ‘Why are you so good to me?’

‘I care about you, Molly,’ he said.

She let out a sigh. ‘I care about you too.’ She opened one of the cupboards on the wall, taking out two glasses. ‘I think the alcohol just took the edge off. It made me feel less nervous. We need my hangover prevention trick.’

She pulled a tray of ice cubes from the freeze and popped some out into the glasses, before cutting a lemon into slices, and adding them to the glasses before filling them with water. She handed one to Chris.

‘Trust me, it works.’

He took the glass and sipped the lemony water. ‘Mmm, delicious.’ He wrinkled his nose before taking another mouthful.

‘One more thing.’ She got a packet of paracetamol tablets out of the cupboard and handed it to him. ‘Take a couple of these. You’ll wake up tomorrow with no hangover.’

‘Thanks.’ He took the tablets and washed them down with the water. ‘You want to watch another film?’

He wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet, and he had a feeling she wasn’t either.

‘Sounds like a plan,’ she replied, and picked up her glass. ‘It might be a little cold in the living room, though.’

He followed her out of the kitchen and shivered as he walked into the living room. He looked down at her bare legs. She would be colder than him. He spotted a blanket on the back of the sofa, and as she sat down, he nodded to it.

‘You must be freezing, wrap yourself in the blanket.’

She looked up at him. ‘You must be cold too. I should have left the heating on. I could light the fire,’ she said.

‘No, don’t worry,’ he replied, sitting down next to her. ‘It’s late. Unless you want me to light the fire?’

She shook her head. ‘You’re right, it’s late.’ She held out one end of the blanket and spread it across both of their laps. ‘We’ll have to share, is that alright?’

Nope. Worst idea ever, he thought to himself, but he didn’t say that.

‘Sure.’

‘What do you want to watch?’ she asked.

He rubbed a hand over his chin. ‘Why don’t we finish the rest of Ocean’s Eleven.’

‘It had only just started.’ She switched the TV on and put the film back on. ‘Let’s see who’s still awake at the end of it.’

He laughed. ‘Probably not me.’ He rested his head back against the cushions, breathing in her perfume, and trying to ignore how close she was to him, as they watched George Clooney and Brad Pitt swaggering around Las Vegas.

***

Molly left the train and walked over the bridge, laughing at one of Chris’s jokes. They swiped their tickets through the barrier and walked out of the station. She turned to say goodbye to Chris, but a hooded figure, dressed in black, had grabbed him, punching him in the stomach. She screamed, grabbing onto the man, trying to push him away. Chris lay on the cold, hard ground, his face covered in blood. Again, she screamed, but no one came. She knelt down next to him and shook him. ‘Chris! Chris! Wake up, please wake up.’

‘Woah, Molly, calm down.’

Molly opened her eyes, to find that she was lying pressed up against Chris, her fists balled up in his T-shirt. ‘Oh no!’ she said, releasing her grip. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘It happened again, right?’ He sat up on the sofa, rubbing his eyes.

‘Yes.’ She sighed and sat up. ‘Again. I’m so sorry, are you alright?’

‘I’m fine,’ he replied. ‘Are you?’

She nodded, her heart rate slowing down. ‘This time it wasn’t me getting attacked in my dreams, it was you. I was trying to protect you.’ She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. ‘It was horrible.’ She shivered, feeling cold, tired, and confused.

‘That sounds pretty grim,’ he said, staring at her pale face.

‘It was.’ She got up, rubbing her bare arms, still half asleep. ‘I need to go to bed.’

She stood up and fumbled her way to the staircase in the darkness, walking up to the bathroom. As she washed her face, she cringed, remembering his terrified expression as she woke up, gripping his T-shirt.

She walked to her bedroom and pulled back her duvet, grabbing her pyjamas, then groaned, remembering the tiny hook on the back of her dress that she couldn’t undo. She heard Chris’s footsteps on the stairs, and the bathroom light being switched on. She paused and waited until she heard the door open again and went out into the doorway.

‘I’m so sorry for grabbing you and screaming at you,’ she said. ‘You didn’t need that.’

‘Don’t be embarrassed,’ he said softly. ‘It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you are.’

‘I’m fine,’ she said firmly. ‘I’ll sleep it off.’ She paused. ‘Can you just undo this hook for me?’

‘Sure,’ he replied.

His fingers were soft and warm on the skin on the back of her neck, sending her heart rate soaring as he slid the hook out of the clasp. ‘Thank you,’ she said and turned to face him. He was close now, so close she could study the length of his eyelashes, and the flecks of blue in his eyes.

‘I…uh, should go,’ he said. ‘You need to get some more sleep. I’ll take the sofa.’

She nodded. ‘Thank you.’

As she looked at her bed, the thought of closing her eyes and being back there on the station again, crying over an injured Chris made her heart sink.

‘You’re scared it’s going to happen again, aren’t you?’ he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

She nodded.

He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Let me go and put my sweatpants on and I’ll stay with you for a while.’

She let out a long exhale. ‘Thank you.’

She closed her door, slid off her dress and underwear and pulled on her pyjamas. Her head was a swirling mess of emotions. She still felt slightly drunk, scared at the idea of shutting her eyes again and exhausted by the nightmares.

He knocked on the door just as she’d climbed into her bed. ‘Can I come in?’

‘All good! Come in!’ Molly shouted.

As he walked in, she knew she was in trouble. He was dishevelled, but in a sexy way, his hair sticking up, his T-shirt crumpled, probably where she’d had her sweaty hands clung to it. He had a blanket stuffed under his arm. He walked over to the empty side of the bed and lay down on it, wrapping the blanket over him.

‘I’m so sorry about this,’ she said. ‘I usually get a few days break in between nightmares.’

‘You’re dealing with a lot right now,’ he said gently. ‘You’re adjusting to being back in London again, to Saskia leaving, and tonight was the first time you’d been out without her here since you got mugged.’

She nodded. ‘You’re right. As usual.’

‘I’d rather not be,’ he replied. ‘I’d rather you weren’t going through any of this. I wish I could make it better.’

‘You are,’ she said, moving towards him.

She felt calm in his presence, as if he could protect her from the world. As she lay with him, and listened to his breathing, she could feel her fear dissipating. She rested her head against his shoulder and shut her eyes.

***

Chris woke up again a while later. Moonlight was still streaming in through the window. It wasn’t morning yet. He shifted on the bed, wrapping the blanket around him. At that moment, Molly’s eyes opened and his heart sank. Had she had another nightmare?

‘Hey,’ he whispered. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘No nightmare, I’m a very light sleeper. I felt you move.’

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Go back to sleep, it’s still early.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘for always being there for me.’

‘I’ll always be there for you,’ he said, his voice cracking.

Being this close to her was so dangerous.

She pressed a hand against his chest and stroked his cheek with the other one. ‘I don’t deserve you.’

He wanted to tell her how much he cared about her, how he never stopped thinking about her, but he didn’t get a chance as her lips met his.

Desire flooded through him, as her hand slid to the back of his neck, pulling him towards her. This was everything he’d ever wanted and everything he was afraid of all at the same time.

Her lips were soft, and her perfume enveloped him. He kissed her back, softly at first, but then her murmur of pleasure spurred him on. His hands slid around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She tasted of rum and lemon, and he couldn’t think straight.

She pulled away from him, sliding his T-shirt off and running her hands over his chest, touching the small silver pendant resting in the dip in his collarbone.

‘I was right, you are beautiful.’

‘You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life,’ he replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

He still couldn’t believe this was happening.

‘Really?’ Her voice was a whisper.

‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘I’ve tried so hard to be your friend, but I can’t fight the way I feel about you.’

‘You’ve done a good job of it.’ Her fingers traced the line of his jaw. ‘I had no idea.’

‘Then I succeeded.’

Slowly, still afraid he would break the spell, he moved closer to her, planting a kiss on her cheek, before moving down to her neck.

‘Are we still friends?’ she murmured.

‘The best,’ he replied, his voice rough, his breathing ragged. ‘I’ve never had a friend like you.’

‘Me neither, Cute Train Dude,’ she murmured.

He laughed. ‘Cute Train Dude?’

‘That”s what I nicknamed you,’ she replied.

‘I nicknamed you Cute Train Girl,’ he said.

How was that possible? They”d both given each other the same nickname.

‘I like it.’ She ran her fingers over his cheek.

He imagined them both on the train next to each other on Monday morning, and how bad he would feel if this went any further. They’d both been drinking tonight. She had a boyfriend. He had to put a stop to it, even though every fibre of his being wanted her with a ferocity that he’d never experienced before.

‘Molly, I can’t do this,’ he whispered. ‘You have a boyfriend, and I think you’ll regret this.’

‘Oh shit.’ She put her head in her hands. ‘I’m the worst person ever.’ She peeked at him through her fingers. ‘I’ve never cheated on him, or anyone.’

‘I believe you.’ He held up his hands. ‘Do you want me to go?’

‘No, of course not. I just feel stupid,’ she said.

‘Don’t. We both…needed each other.’His heart rate was slowing, even though he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her again. ‘I’m sorry if this makes things awkward between us.’

‘It won’t,’ she said, her brow creased with concern. ‘I won”t let it.’