Chapter 33
Dash
There is a euphoric high when you jump from heaven.
Freedom.
Light.
The wind blasting under your wings catching you.
Then, you inch closer and closer to earth, and panic sets in.
The aftermath. Reality.
What have I done?
Why wasn ’ t jerking myself off enough? No, I had to come home, find her sleeping in my bed on clean sheets, tie her up, and break, shatter all over her.
I wanted to grab her, throw her over my shoulder, and run away like she always dreamed of.
How I wanted to savor that thought and make it a reality. But I had to wake up, roll away from her, and be the cold, heartless monster she still claims to love.
I know my little fox; she thinks she can keep this game up and survive the cold after I warm her. She won ’ t last long. Her heart still beats to a different tune that can ’ t match the cadence of the fucked up symphony that is my life.
Damian ’ s eyes stalk my every breath, watching too closely. I didn ’ t tell him I slept with Mila again. There ’ s no need. He and Titan can see the glow on my skin from her lingering touch.
It makes me feel nuclear, like at any second, the sickness from her radiation will make me combust.
“ We can keep her safe,” Damian stresses as he grabs the car keys. It ’ s back to fake life again, pretending to go to school and act semi-normal until we have to do our fathers deeds again. At least on this last trip, we got to meet with our other brothers.
“Those words will haunt you the day you drive a shovel into the ground to bury her.” I sneer.
I don ’ t know how to stop this fear. It keeps me up, sickening my mind.
Can I love Mila openly?
My father did with my mother; he kept her safe until her own body turned against her.
Speaking of that, I ’ m going to schedule full body scans for Mila and myself every six months just to be safe.
“ Dash, not everything in our lives ends in tragedy.” Titan gently touches my shoulder as we make our way to the car.
“ Did you think that when you walked the burning rubble of Elsa ’ s house?” Practice what you preach, brother!
“ I didn ’ t have you, Damian, or our other brothers then. I was a kid who listened to my dad and fucked up. Things are different now. Between all of us watching our backs, we will do our best to keep Mila safe. Wouldn ’ t you rather try than live a life like this?” He points to me, to my lackluster complexion and suffering flesh, to my tainted mind.
“ You ’ re making yourself sick.” His fingers grip my biceps. “ You ’ re making Mila sick, forcing her to change. Can you live with that?”
He drops his arm and joins Damian in the car.
Honestly…I don ’ t know.
Either way, I lose a part of Mila. If I love her openly, I risk losing her entirely. If I love her in secret, I lose the softness that sparkles in her eyes when they look up at me.
I lose either way.
“ It ’ s her fucking roommate that ’ s changing her!” I scoff, slamming the car door so hard it shakes the SUV.
“ Mila never acted out,” Openly, that is. She never would have initiated phone sex or had the strength to see all my demons like she did yesterday. All my scars and grievous thoughts.
“ We will deal with the roommate today,” Titan sighs, “ But you need to make a decision. Be with her or don ’ t. It ’ s not fair to her.”
◆◆◆
A devious grin spreads across my lips as I sit back and watch Titan corner Nova against the wall of her class. As soon as we entered, the class cleared out, leaving us alone with Nova.
How brave are you, Nova? Titan is about to peel you open to find out.
Why the fuck is Nova still smiling?
She should be cowering under Titan's glare, not to mention my own and Damien ’ s. Nova needs to understand that Mila isn ’ t her doll. I will make sure Mila is never a doll for anyone else again. Not even me.
“ I know how to grab demons by the horns, Titan.” Nova purrs as she edges her hips closer to Titan ’ s. I watch his fist curl as he keeps her caged. “ I already warned Dasher here, but I ’ ll repeat it just this once since the message didn ’ t sink in.”
See what I mean? Nova wants to die. She grins while pressing all the buttons, even the childish ones, such as intentionally using a different name for me.
“ Stay the hell away from me, and if Dash even looks at Mila in a way that pisses me off, you ’ ll be down an heir.”
My throat tightens as I gaze into Nova ’ s steel-grey eyes. Her eyes challenge me, and I accept.
I understand Nova’s tactics. She is using Mila as her toy to piss me off, but it goes deeper. I can taste it radiating off of Nova. She is so strong and confident, she can ’ t stand that Mila isn ’ t.
Nova wants to change that. She ’ s already started. I ’ ve seen the changes in Mila, the phone sex being one. Fighting back is the second.
I like that Mila is trying to fight me instead of hiding in her shell and trying to poke holes in it again.
Nova is like salt in Mila ’ s life—just enough brings out the flavors, but too much can be off-putting.
I'll allow Nova to remain Mila's roommate for now .
On the other hand, Nova is calculating. She wants to see me suffer and self-implode. She knows Mila is my weakness, but if she hurts Mila, she ’ s dead—so she wants me to be the one to hurt her.
It ’ s a smart move, forcing your enemy to destroy themselves.
Nova slides her eyes to Titan. “ In case you need my message to hit home, how about this…” She swings her right knee up right into his dick, catching Titan off guard because even a fool wouldn ’ t dare attack us when we were in a unit.
Oh Shit! If I didn ’ t hate Nova, I would laugh.
Nova ’ s long black hair gleams like spilled oil, a dark and destructive beauty, as she turns. Her lips pull into a wide, daring grin. She blows us an air kiss and sings, “ Toot-a-loo boys.”
Even I ’ m stunned into silence.
It takes a lot to shock me, but Nova did. I watch in utter dismay as Titan lets her saunter out of the lecture hall, her three-inch high combat boots stomping off the stairs with a purring satisfaction.
“ What the fuck was that?” Standing, I shove Titan.
“ I like her.” Damian retorts.
“ The plan was to show up to her class, make her rethink every life choice she made this morning, and then watch her crawl into a hole and stop pestering me! Instead, you let her kick you in the balls, and what,” I throw my hands up, “ walk away grinning?” I shout at Titan, who is still in a daze.
Please don ’ t tell me you have a hard-on for that woman!
I look at Damian for backup, but he ’ s just sitting back relaxing. His eyes slide to mine. “ You wanted Titan to play with her? He ’ s going to play now. Be careful what you wish for.”
“ I wanted Titan to intimidate her!” I don’t want to get rid of Nova myself. I don’t want to be the nail in the coffin again. First, it was Jared, then Dom, then I had to send Mila’s old roommate out of the country, along with a dozen other girls at school who kept flirting with me. I don’t want Mila to think I will take another person away. Jared and Dom deserved it, but I have to handle Nova differently. That’s why I thought Titan would scare the shit out of Nova and make her back down.
“ Leave Nova to me,” Titan finally says as he cups his balls.
Oh no. I don ’ t like the sound of that, nor the look in his eyes. It ’ s lust; shit, he ’ s practically glowing with it.
“ I ’ ll keep her busy and away from Mila.”
Yeah, that ’ s not what worries me now. I know how we operate, and that look in your eyes tells me Nova isn ’ t going anywhere.
Looks like you ’ ve found your obsession, cousin.
Fuck!
◆◆◆
A few weeks later.
I look at Titan and shake my head. His eyes are sparkling with so much shine it looks like Nova rolled him in glitter. He ’ s her toy, not the other way around. I ’ ve been watching her manipulate my cousin, slowly wrapping him around her finger.
I wanted him to get rid of her, not make her a permanent item on our circle.
I feel like I ’ m climbing a mountain with a fraying rope. Mila is playing games with me, my father is demanding I take on more roles in the family business while attending university, the brotherhood still needs more time until we try to over throw those controlling us, and now Nova is a constant pain in my ass, always pushing my buttons.
Now I have to deal with today! We had to fly into the city to meet with our dads and Mila ’ s. It ’ s not unusual since Greg oversees the contracts for us, but I still can’t stand being in the same room with Greg.
I glare at Titan as we wait for the elevator to open. He ’ s obsessed, lost his goddamn mind. He ’ s stalking Nova, follows her all around campus, but then again, she ’ s stalking him.
He ’ s warned the entire campus not to talk to Nova or else…
So now Nova only talks to Mila, which is the complete opposite of what I wanted.
“ Pissing on her would be less territorial,” I mutter.
Titan, who has been humming a synchronized tune to the elevator music, abruptly stops as he glares at me. “ What was that?”
“ Nothing,” I grind my teeth. “ It ’ s just good to know you ’ re more loyal to your dick than your blood. Have fun with your cock because Nova will probably cut it off and then shove it down your throat.”
Damian laughs as he leans back against the wall.
“ You wanna say something?” Titan raises a brow. “Say it.”
“ Why can ’ t you fuck her and move on?” I suggest.His blue eyes darken.
See what I mean? He ’ s picking a chick over this blood.
“ Leave Nova to me.”
I meet his glare. “ That ’ s exactly what worries me, brother.”
“ How are things with Mila?” Titan smirks. “ Oh, did that question upset you? Swallowing your own medicine is bitter, isn ’ t it?”
“ Come on, we need to look united when this door opens.” Damian hisses.
Ding!
The elevator opens and we turn silent as we enter the board room. I spot my dad sitting at the table in a wrinkle-free navy suit. I wonder how many people Dad has killed himself. He never looks the part—always so clean-cut and polished.
How long did it take him to wipe away his sins and fool the crowds?
How did you do it, Dad? Fool the world, love my mother, and keep her safe?
Ask him?
I can ’ t, because then my father will know how much I love Mila. He ’ ll use her against me.
“ What the hell are you wearing?” My father snaps. We just came from a training session with his men, and he knows very well what I ’ d be wearing—black cargo pants, a black shirt, a knife strapped to my ankle, and a gun at my side. Certainly not a fucking suit.
Our dads require us to participate in their versions of training. Passing Initiation 101 wasn ’ t enough. They still want to provoke our beasts and tug at the collars around our necks.
I sink into my seat. Would it be too much to kick my boots up onto the conference table?
He ’ s damn lucky I haven ’ t turned the trigger on him. When you raise a wild beast, the likelihood that the beast will turn on you is high. It ’ s in the beast ’ s nature.
We finish the paperwork in less than twenty minutes, but then Greg decides to piss me—and every other King—off.
“ When this marriage goes through,” Greg begins to say in a questionable tone.
He signed the contract! He ’ s a lawyer known for never allowing a contract to be broken, yet there ’ s that smug grin on his face, as if he holds the power to fracture it.
I ’ m happy. Now my father can see how cocky Greg has become since he tied his daughter to us.
“ Are the transgressions of your past going to stain my daughter ’ s future?” Greg questions my dad then his eyes pivot to my uncle.
Oh boy, Greg, you ’ re dead. My dad is a beast, but my uncle Elijah—Damian ’ s dad—is a pit that devours souls like yours. Craves it.
I furrow my forehead, glancing at my cousins. What is Michelson referring to? Why does he keep hinting that someone else is controlling us all?
My father slams his fist on the wooden table, making every glass of water tremble. He rises from his seat, shaking with anger. “ How dare you question us!” My father roars. “ You are lucky we have welcomed you into our fold—”
“ Marcus,” my uncle Elijah sternly warns him.
Greg leans forward, resting his elbows on the table, and whispers a threat so quietly that I only catch a few words. “ He’s gaining influence, do you have the numbers to win? I want my daughter safe.”
That ’ s when I realize something. Greg does hold some kind of power over my father. It ’ s clear to my cousins and me now. That ’ s why Dad keeps telling me to back down and let Greg keep his guards on Mila.
We don ’ t have a choice because Greg controls that.
The older I get, the more I realize my dad isn ’ t some mastermind villain. Shit, he was never the hero, but he ’ s more like me than I ’ d ever admit. He ’ s scared that the only thing he still has will be taken from him.
Me.
I see it in his eyes as they linger on mine too long. I remember his words after I broke my leg. He only kept going, suffering life on earth without my mom because of me.
He cares in his own twisted way.
I don ’ t want to acknowledge that the man I hate also loves me.
Dad ’ s eyes plead with me to understand what Greg is alluding to, but I can ’ t bake a cake without all the ingredients.
Just tell me! I press my lips into a firm line, but Dad glances down, revealing nothing.
“ We ’ ll discuss this later,” Uncle Elijah orders, then shifts the subject. Greg and my dad, though, remain locked in a staring contest.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I glance at the screen, and my blood boils. It ’ s a picture of Mila and Nova at a bar surrounded by men. I know exactly what those men are thinking because Mila looks mouthwatering.
What the fuck is Mila wearing? This isn ’ t something from her closet—nope. This is purely that bitch ’ s doing. A skin-tight black dress hugs the curves that I know intimately. Even though it stops just above her knees, it ’ s too revealing. The back of the dress has a long golden zipper, unzipped down to the dimples just above her ass. Pull me down, undress me! The zipper begs someone.
What is Mila wearing underneath the dress? She loves lace…And she ’ s probably not wearing a bra, given the bare back.
I want to be the lens of the camera, capturing her, zooming in on every little detail to taste it.
I open my tracking app, reinstalled on Mila ’ s phone. She ’ s at her dorm. I confirm it with her guard. That means the picture isn ’ t recent, and whoever sent it wants me to know they ’ ve been watching her without my knowledge.
The sender ’ s number is unknown, and then a text message follows.
Unknown: It looks like you might lose your bride…
I glare at Titan and Damian. Is this their idea of a joke, making my worst fear visual?
No, they ’ d never go that far.
This is real. Someone is targeting my little fox to get back at me.
I forward the message to Titan and Damian, who immediately look at my dad. Is it his doing? Titan and Damian are wondering the same thing.
I don ’ t know how much longer I can stand my father or our uncles meddling in our lives.
I fought with the Brotherhood during our meeting in Switzerland. I begged for the date to be moved up, to marry Mila so I could push Greg out of the picture. But everyone agreed we aren ’ t ready for the world to change yet. Dante still doesn ’ t have the guts to lock his vicious mother away, stripping her of her power over the family. And Cillian ’ s uncle still has an army to big to go up against.
It ’ s taking too damn long for them to get their ducks in a row.
I said fuck the row, let ’ s just shoot. Only Anders agreed.
I ’ ll be patient for a bit longer.
◆◆◆
“ Will you stop looking at the picture?” Titan snaps.
Just to piss him off, I let my eyes linger on the text message for a few more seconds. It ’ s a picture of Mila smiling widely. God, she looks gorgeous. She never smiles at me like that.
That ’ s a lie; she used to before everything changed. Now her eyes look at me with a pleading hope that I ’ ll bend a knee and sing my love to her.
Some songs are better left unplayed.
That ’ s the problem with the past; you can ’ t change it. Life is a one-way ride down a long, winding, bumpy road. There are no U-turns.
My younger self thought what I did to Mila was for the best. My older self realizes my mistakes. I know it ’ s wrong to snap at her and burn her with my hate. In reality, the hate is not for her but for myself because I failed her in many ways.
Whoever she was smiling at in the photo was lucky, but also a dead man.
I had received yet another text from the unknown number with another taunting message.
Unknown: What would make you suffer more? Seeing her with me on our wedding night or never seeing her again after I marry her? Oh, the decisions…
“ Tom ’ s working on tracking it,” Damian says as he snatches my phone from my hands.
“ He ’ s not fast enough. I ’ m going to put another guard on her. I don ’ t give a fuck what her dad wants. He agreed to our contract, and she is mine to deal with and mine to protect.”
Titan nods, as does Damian. We are so much alike that most of the time, we don’t even need to speak to know what the other is thinking.
“ Fine, put another guard on her. Just calm down; you are worse than a woman waiting in line for a sale.” Damian grunts. He places my phone in his pocket and pulls out his favorite pocket knife, his calming mechanism.
Have you waited in line with a woman recently? I think you have, brother, and I think you're short with me because you’re juggling knives, and eventually, your hand is going to slip. You can't keep Plain Jane hidden from the world for much longer.
“ You ’ re one to talk. Titan and I know where you were the last two days,” I retort. Titan looks at me with a narrowed expression.
“ What?” I toss my hands in the air. “ If his dad discovers his obsession and how much time he devotes to stalking Plain Jane rather working for King Corporations, that girl is dead.” As soon as I finish the last word, a solid punch hits the left side of my jaw.
I know I ’ m asking for it, and I don ’ t mind the pain. Hell, most of the time, I enjoy it. It keeps my mind off of Mila.
Metallic rust coats my tongue as blood fills my mouth. I don ’ t bother fighting back; I deserve it. But Damian needs to hear the truth. I know firsthand what it is like to suffer, knowing that the girl you love is hurt because of you.
They say love is blind for a reason.
“ Go ahead, get pissy with me, Damian, but you know I ’ m speaking the truth.”
Damian holds my eyes before he stomps out of the room, but not before he warns Titan, “ Convince the Brotherhood to move up the date, or I ’ ll handle my father.”
Good. Damian is growing as impatient as I am. Now, I just need to convince Dante and Cillian that it ’ s time.
The door slams shut, and Titan and I sit in silence. I spit a mouth full of blood out into my drink. “ He ’ s going to get that girl killed, or worse. I was only verbalizing what you and I both were thinking.” The worst would be the girl staying alive but being leveraged over Damian.
“ The Brotherhood is strong because we act together as one. You just pushed Damian to act alone. If Uncle Elijah falls before his time comes, other pieces start to fall. Lay off Damian until all our brothers are ready.” Titan orders.
I scoff. “ Anders will never be ready in the way you all want him to be. He ’ s going to go in like a tornado. Anders doesn ’ t do things in a polite way. You know it, and so does Dante.” We ’ ve been plotting to take out Anders's father discreetly, but the man is so well fortified that even for us, it ’ s a battle. The only way is to attack him head-on, making a scene.
“ We are not just waiting for Anders; Cillian has some things to wrap up before taking the lead. He ’ s got to get his cousins out of his uncle ’ s grasp. We all have things we need to finalize before we take over.” Titan hisses.
“ If I lay off Damian, he ’ s dead. You should be harder on him.”
Titan leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “ Would you give Mila up so easily?”
“ Mila knows how our world works,” I argue.
Plain Jane will never survive our world, and I don’t want to sit back and watch Damian set himself up for failure. Mila knows the family she is born into. She knows her future consists of a cage and a forced hand of marriage. She just needs to come to terms with the fact that marriage means loving her in the shadows. Mila might not ever love me again after she grapples with that definition of love, but love doesn't matter as long as I keep her safe and at my side.
◆◆◆
The smile in the photo haunts me, forcing me to follow Mila back to her dorm in the afternoon, not waiting for the night ’ s shadows to cover my movements.
“ Who were you smiling at?” I press as I glare at her. She was wearing a plain cotton periwinkle shirt and loose-fitting cotton shorts. When she had no makeup on, she was at her most beautiful.
“ Please, Dash.” Please what, little fox? Please fuck me. Please leave me alone. Please, please…
When she begs, her bottom lip sticks out more than the top. I imagine biting it between my teeth and then sucking it in my mouth before I taste her everywhere. A depraved need has been poured over us like sticky glue, trapping us both together.
Please let me fuck you right here, or rather out in the open, so every fucker at this school knows you're mine. Please tell me how that sounds to you, Mila. Pretty please, little fox. Just say the words, and I ’ ll thank you afterward.
She thinks I ’ m here because she ’ s been baiting me. I can see the lust in her eyes, scent it in the air.
She doesn ’ t know about the photos, about the madness swirling in my mind, chanting at me to sink inside of her, to claim her as mine. Mine!
I hold up my phone and show her the photo. She doesn't need to know someone is stalking her. She just thinks it's from the guards.
Her pout disappears and is replaced with a flat line. A flat line will replace the rhythm of her heart if you claim her openly. Remember that, Dash! “ Did you let him touch you?” Oh no, little fox, look me in the eye. I tuck my hand under her chin, tipping her face up, letting my thumb swipe over her lips.
My cock ’ s so hard it ’ s painful. I want to show Mila my pain and claim her right here, right now. This is what you do to me! It ’ s your fault for making me love you.
Hurt flashes in her eyes. “ You think I would put myself in that situation again?”It feels like I was shot again. The memory of what she had been through, first with Jared, then Dom.
But I ’ m too proud to admit my faults.“I think you would if it would get me to confess my love for you. When will you learn, you can ’ t outsmart the hunter?”
“ Maybe I ’ m not trying to outsmart you. Maybe I want you to get trapped with me.”
“ Oh Mila, we are trapped by a contract our fathers signed. You ’ re mine.”
“ But you are not mine. That hardly seems fair.”
“ That ’ s the game of politics. Someone always loses.”
“ Sometimes everyone loses.”
I know, little fox. I cup her face tenderly, wishing I had the strength to make love to her slowly tonight. To cherish every second of her hands on me, but then those loving moments would come back to haunt me. Tempt me, perhaps listen to her ideas and consider them.
Her skin is cold under my touch, like fresh snow not yet polluted and stained by the world. “ This is all we can be,” I mutter to myself. “ But I need you to know that behind these walls or out in the open, you still belong to me. You ’ re mine.” You claim every thought I have! I grasp her shirt and rip it open; the buttons fly and scatter on the mess on her bedroom floor.
“ Dash!” she moans with glee. I see the hope in her eye; she thinks each time we fuck, it ’ s going to get better, that one day I will rescind my declaration, that I will love her in the light. That I ’ ll stop fearing one of my enemies killing her.
So much hope and spirit in her hazel eyes.
Your actions will smother it one day.
I know. We ’ re on a path we can ’ t sway from. So I ’ m going to crash and burn with her in my arms.
I pick her up, throw her onto the bed, and then, in one swift move, I slide the leggings off her, knowing that I will not break. She will just learn to crave me like this.
Her legs open for me as a blush flushes her cheeks. She's already succumbed to this twisted fucked up passion. She will take it any way I give it because we both can't exist without one another.
You did this to her!
She did it to me as well. We both fucked each other up.
Our love was once so pure, and now look how fucking depraved it is. We ’ re both beggars, starved for each other's lips. So we will take anything, no matter the cost of our respect.
I unzip my pants and watch as her eyes follow my every move. When my throbbing cock jerks free, her mouth parts as she licks her lips. I stroke myself, and with each pump, her breath labors, forming a melody that drives me to the edges of insanity, forcing me to jump off the edge and into her arms.
“ You ’ re fucking mine.”
“ I know.” She hisses. Good, she ’ s pissed.
I approach the bed, grab her hips and flip her as I hoist her perfect ass in the air. I rub my palms over her smooth curves, relishing as her body shakes and trembles with a need.
Her tight walls squeeze around me as she moans and murmurs my name. Wet, warm heat is all I feel when I push deep inside her. It ’ s like slipping into a dream, feeling a new sunrise warm your soul, tasting paradise.
I don ’ t belong here.
But monsters don ’ t follow the rules; we break them. We enter dreams and turn them into nightmares, chase the sun until the moon devours it, see paradise and burn it to ashes, take and take until nothing is left.
That ’ s what I ’ m doing to Mila. I see it, acknowledge it; she will never survive life in the shadows.
I can ’ t stop, though.
I wish I could, but I ’ m happy I can ’ t.
She turns her head to meet my gaze while her muscles tighten around me. “ Dash,” her wide eyes beg me. “ I want to see you.”
Fuck! I want to see you too, but I can ’ t bear it. I can ’ t stand to see what we have become and how I failed you… how you betrayed me.
Sometimes, I still think about her and Dom. How she told me fucking him hurt, but she used that pain to numb a more painful ache. She never learned how to survive with her pain, always chasing something to numb or control her emotions.
Sure, art fixed most of it, but Mila needed a human touch, and without me, she turned to Dom, a man who almost killed her.
I shake my head. “ No,” I reach around, my fingers glide between her slick folds. I find her clit and begin to massage it, making slow, agonizing circles. Her argument dies, as her need to come overtakes her desire to try to make me voice my love for her.
I push deep inside of her tight, wet pussy. Her body welcomes me with open arms, sucking me back in, grabbing hold of me, not wanting to be empty again. A low primal sound begins to hum from my chest. My heart is content here, lost in the pain and pleasure that Mila offers me.
My head tips back as if her body was a holy light anointing me. “ Fuck!” I growl as I begin to pound into her.I can ’ t go slow. Not tonight, not after seeing her smile in those pictures.
“ I hate that I need you, little fox. I hate this body because it ’ s fucking poison. Fucking hate it! I hate you so goddamn much.” I grab her shoulders and really pound into her.
Not enough! More! Closer!
Fuck you, madness!
I grab her, pulling her up and pressing her back against my chest. My arms coil around her like thorny vines, tightening until they threaten to pierce her skin, encasing her heart and trapping it in their grasp.
I thrust up, chasing a high that only she can give me. My balls tighten as her exhales become deeper and more labored. Dying breaths that only my body can breathe life back into.
Her body purrs, fucking purrs with delight. “ I know your hate is love, Dash. So keep fucking hating me because deep down, I know the translation of your words now.” She starts to meet my movements, pushing her hips back into mine. “ I know you just confessed your love for me, and one day, oh god, yes,” she tips her head back, laying it on my shoulder. “ One day, you ’ re going to say my definition of it.”
“ Never.”
“ You will.” I can hear the smile in her voice. It’s another venomous bite from her wicked tongue, sinking deep inside of me, plaguing my veins, pumping and swirling, mixing with my willpower.
You can ’ t break what ’ s already broken, Mila. You ’ re fighting a ghost—swinging at air and expecting it to bow to you. But air doesn ’ t bow; it bends, wraps around you, halts you, or simply ignores you. You will never win against me.
“ I ’ m close, Dash! So close! Yes! Give it to me. Show me what being yours means.”
You pretty little devil! “ Stop talking!” I hiss. Or was it a moan?
“ Why? Are you falling into the trap with me, with my body, with my wet pussy, begging your cock to stay here with me?”
“ Stop it!”
“ No.” She tightens her inner muscles. “ I don ’ t think I will.”
I slap my hand over her mouth, and like a good girl, she bites down on my fingers, moaning. “ That ’ s it, squeeze my cock.” I push in deep and move my left hand to the apex of her legs, rubbing her faster and faster.
I need this to end! Need to come! Need to stop the madness.
“ Dash... oh god... Dash.”
I don ’ t want her calling out to god. Neither of us deserves his forgiveness.
I sink into her again and again. Wave after wave of pleasure begins to mount, squeezing my lungs and heart, and replacing the oxygen with a dangerous need. My eyes glue to where our bodies connect so perfectly. I grab her hips with a bruising force, making my motions harder. I want my fingerprints to linger. I want everyone to see them when they look at her.
“ I dream about this, Dash, about you taking me in every way, like this, against the wall, in the shower again. I dream of your lips tasting and sucking me, of my lips wrapped around your cock.”
When did my hand slip to her breast? “ Stop!” I grunt. The imagery is too much. Knowing that a fantasy of me was getting to please her made jealousy pump through my veins.
“ I love you.” She declares as she wiggles her hand lower until it reaches her core, cupping mine as I rub her clit.
My voice turns to a beggar. “ Stop!” A slick, slapping wetness prickles my ears as it mixes with our pants.
She releases a devious laugh. “ Stop loving you?”
“ You ’ re a she-devil!” I plunge inside, knocking the laugh from her lungs, wishing the curve of her body would be imprinted into my hips.
She arches her ass higher, and with each thrust, I feel her body swelling, whimpering to tip over the edge. “ But I still love you.” She whispers.
Stop talking! I want your cries and not words. “ Come!” I slap my other hand over hers, taking control of her movement. Now we ’ re hand in hand as we rub her sex, as my cock sinks in and out of her naughty body. She sings my name on her lips as she comes, breaking and trembling, yet still meeting me thrust for thrust.
I remove my hand from her core, leaving a slick trail in its wake. “ No, Dash,” she moans in bliss, sensing my soon-coming absence.
One more time. I need to hear her cry my name as if I was a hero one more time before reality comes rushing back.
I keep her back to me as I slide my hand under her, cupping her breast, and knead her skin between my fingers. “ You ’ re going to come again for me,”
She nods against the mattress, limp and satiated now.
“ Say it first.” Slowly, I sink my still-hard cock into her again. There was nothing but us, this moment, the degradation of our love, the pain that I wasn ’ t brave enough to look her in the eye, the pleasure that she still craved me after all I had done and had yet to do.
“ W… what?” she purrs as her small hips push back, meeting my thrust. I grab her hips, sinking even deeper. I ’ m gifted with more wetness as her muscles clench around me.
“ Say you ’ re mine.” Jealousy drives me insane as I hold on to her. She is mine, and I will never allow another man to touch her again!
“ Dash,”
“ Say it!”
“ I ’ m yours. Fuck... I ’ m yours. Let me come.”
Her pleads are a siren ’ s song to my depraved ears. We both come together with such a force I collapse onto her, sink into her so deeply that for one second, we ’ re one, melted into each other before the world forces us to separate again. I feel her heartbeat pounding into my flesh, pressing into my pores like ink clings to paper; I tattoo the melody onto my heart.
I want to stay with her, hold her in my arms, and tell her I ’ m sorry because this is all I can give you. I just want to keep you safe so that we don ’ t have to expose our love to the vultures of the world.
Instead, I jerk away and zip my pants up. She rolls over, face red, eyes glistening with tears. Her nipples are hard and rosy, pleading with my lips to caress them.
“ Did I hurt you?” I whisper, eyes downcast, as I begin to be flooded with self-hate.
She doesn ’ t reply because she knows I ’ m about to leave her. Again.
I turn and leave as if she were nothing.
The fucked up reality is that she is everything to me.