Chapter 29 Time
Time
Julia
Maybe it should have been a tougher decision. But the more Julia thought about the idea of going to Korea, the more it felt
right. And the timing couldn’t have been better. Or worse, she supposed, depending on what outcome she was hoping for.
It had been a couple weeks since she’d last seen Tae from the rearview mirror of her car. She ached to reach out to him, but
she had so many conflicting emotions about everything that had transpired. He was angry, and that anger disturbed her. He
had been mean, and that pissed her off. He’d accused her of something she hadn’t done without giving her a chance to explain.
And, oh yeah, he colluded with her grandmother behind her back. That was a blow.
Any one thing could have been a deal-breaker. But oddly, all of them together added up to something clearly not being right
with Tae. He was overwhelmed, stressed, buckling under the pressure. And he ended up pushing her away, hard.
More than anything, Julia hoped he would get the help that he needed. And if, at some point, he wanted to talk to her, she’d
be there. Or she’d be in Korea. But she’d make herself available.
She couldn’t put her life on hold. She had to move forward. So she did . . . right through the door of her parents’ house.
“I’m home,” she said.
Julia’s dad peeked his head around the corner. “Julia, we didn’t know you were coming. Isn’t it work time?” he asked.
“I took today off to get some errands done and to come see you. Are Umma and Halmoni home too?”
“Yes, yes, everyone’s home,” he said, turning back around to watch the television. “Yeobo, Julia is here,” he screamed in
the direction of no one, but clearly hoping her mother would hear him.
Julia walked in the kitchen. It was empty. She looked out to the backyard. No one. This was odd.
She made her way to the other side of the house to her grandmother’s room. The door was closed but slightly ajar. She peeked
in and saw her halmoni and her mom sitting together on the floor, heads lowered, looking at something in her grandmother’s
hands.
“It’s so beautiful. I can’t believe you still have it and you never told me,” she heard her mother say.
“I didn’t want you to ask for it,” her grandmother responded.
“I wouldn’t ask. I just would expect you to give it to me.”
“See? That’s why I didn’t show you. You’re not even my oldest son’s wife. Why should you get it?”
Julia tried to open the door a little farther to see what they were talking about. All she could make out was a small silk
pouch. Interesting. Julia wondered what was inside.
“Anyways, I think it’s a great idea. I don’t know how Julia will feel about your methods, but in the end, I hope it all works.
It would be so wonderful,” her mother said, clasping her hands at her chest.
That was Julia’s cue. She needed to get to the bottom of this. She needed to get to the bottom of a lot of things.
“What are you two up to in here?” she asked as she pushed the door open.
They both jumped a little where they sat.
“Julia, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” her grandmother said.
Julia narrowed her eyes. “Nice try, Grandma. But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice—”
“What shame? Julia, what did you do?” her mother asked, eyes wide in panic.
“Nothing, Mom. It’s just a saying. A figure of speech to say that I won’t fall for Halmoni’s really shitty guilt trip again.
I can’t believe you led me to believe the doctor gave you bad news. What did she really say, Grandma?”
“She said I had dancing breasts.”
“You have what?” Julia tried to make sense of what her grandma was saying.
“The doctor said because I have dancing breasts, it’s harder to determine what they’re seeing from the pictures. So she massaged
my boob for a while, and apparently it was nothing to be concerned about.”
“Wait, do you mean dense breasts?”
“Dense breasts?”
“It means—oh, never mind. So she did the ultrasound, and everything was okay? Why did you lead me to believe that it might
not be? Halmoni, you lied to me and then tricked me. How is that okay?”
Her grandmother waved her hand in the air. “It’s not that big of a deal, Julia. I was just trying to do what’s best for you.”
“Was scaring me about your health best for me? Was tricking me and losing my trust best for me? Were three epically bad dates
best for me?”
“Who cares about the dates? That’s not what this was about,” her grandmother said, though she managed to look at least a little
bit guilty for her treachery.
“What are you talking about?” Julia asked. Wasn’t this whole dying wish specifically for Julia to get set up on these dates
and find love?
“It was about finding out what you want,” her grandmother said as if reading Julia’s thoughts.
“Were you in on this too?” Julia looked to her mother, pointing a finger.
Her mother shook her head. “No, no. I wanted you to marry the doctor.”
Julia groaned. Her mother was so predictable.
“But I’m not upset about how it’s turned out. The alternative is much better,” her mom said, exchanging a look with her grandmother.
Her grandmother tried to sneak the small silk pouch they’d been looking at into her pocket.
“What is that?” Julia asked.
“Have you and Tae stopped arguing?” her grandmother asked, dropping a bomb, changing the subject.
Julia whipped her head up to meet her eyes. The mere mention of his name felt like a punch to the gut. Julia had to steady
herself, letting out a deep breath. “How did you know about that? You know what? Don’t tell me. I don’t even want to know.
But speaking of Tae, seriously Halmoni, you hired him to date me? How could you? I’m humiliated.”
“Julia, you’re not the easiest person to impress. You can be quite judgmental.” Julia’s jaw dropped open at her mother’s words.
Her mom shrugged a shoulder. “Tae is a very patient man. And he’s the type of man who has the inner strength to be a good
partner to a strong woman. But you might never have given him a chance. It was a good idea,” her mom said. “When Halmoni told
me what she’d done, I was almost disappointed I didn’t come up with the idea myself.”
“Well, too bad it didn’t work out. I didn’t end up with any of them, none of the setups and—” Julia swallowed hard “—and not
Tae.”
“Well, it’s not like I wasted any money. Tae never actually agreed to the job.”
“What do you mean? He and I went on dates. We spent time together. We—” Julia stopped herself before she shared too much.
“Tae did that because he wanted to help you, Julia. And he continued to do it because he wanted to spend time with you. And
who says it didn’t work? You and Tae will each stop being so prideful, you will each deal with your baggage, and then you’ll
find your way to each other.” Halmoni closed her eyes and nodded to herself, clearly pretty impressed with her own words.
As if she was some Korean Yoda or something.
Julia played back what her grandmother had just said.
“Wait, what do you mean find our way to each other? Don’t tell me your plan was for me and Tae all along? I thought you wanted
Tae to date me because of his magical power to ensure marriage with the next boyfriend.” Julia couldn’t believe it. Her grandmother,
her mother even, wanted her to be with Tae? Which meant she’d let her grandmother down again. “Halmoni—” Julia started.
“Why would I want you to marry a next boyfriend if you already found the right one in Tae?” her grandmother challenged, as
if it was obvious.
Julia didn’t find anything obvious in her grandmother’s plan.
“Julia.” Her mother reached for her hand. “Come sit down for a minute with us. Let’s talk comfortably.”
Julia took a seat on the floor next to the two most important women in her life. She held on to her mom’s hand, and to her
surprise, her grandmother grabbed Julia’s other one.
“Julia, I was a very pretty girl when I was younger. The prettiest in our neighborhood in Daegu,” her mom began.
“You weren’t that pretty. Sun-Yong Lee was prettier. But you were second-prettiest,” her grandmother said.
Her mom ignored her. “All the boys wanted to marry me. But do you know why I chose your dad as the lucky one?”
Julia shook her head. She’d never heard this story.
“He wasn’t the tallest or the most successful or the smartest. But when he smiled, his eyes sparkled. And each time, that
sparkle would capture a little bit of my heart, until I realized he’d claimed the whole of it. And when it was time to ask
me if I would accept him, he said that he would work hard his whole life to make sure my eyes would sparkle with joy forever.
And you know what? They do.”
Tears formed in Julia’s eyes. Damn, her dad was a romantic.
“What Halmoni was doing when she asked for Tae’s help was bringing sparkle into your life. I didn’t realize. I’ve always liked
Tae but never saw him as someone you’d like. Maybe I didn’t consider him because on paper he didn’t seem like the best at
anything. But your halmoni saw it, she knew. Tae is smart, and he’s successful in his own right—”
“And tall. Don’t forget tall,” her grandmother added.
“Yes, he’s tall too. But, most importantly, Tae’s strength is his heart. Why wouldn’t we want the man that could love the
fullest for our daughter? You have so much to give to someone who can handle it all.”
Julia didn’t know if the vise grip in her chest was because she was so touched or because she was so very sad that it didn’t
work out. Whatever the reason, it hurt.
At the end, even Tae couldn’t handle all of Julia.
“But you gave up your career to marry Dad. And you,” she said, looking to her grandmother, “did the same to marry Grandfather.
They loved you, but each wanted you to give up a part of yourself to be with them. I don’t want to give up who I am just to
make a man happy. I don’t want to be with someone that can’t handle all of me.” This was the truth that this season of dating
had solidified in Julia’s mind and in her heart. She shouldn’t have to give up anything about herself, and she was determined
not to, without apology.