CHAPTER NINETEEN
Given that he’d never been in a regular church service before, Julian wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d thought he might be. He knew that was due in large part to the many conversations he’d had with Elijah.
Because Elijah had been the worship leader for his dad’s services before he’d left the ministry, he’d talked at length about how he viewed worship through song.
“Our hope is in Christ alone,” the pastor declared as he took his place behind the pulpit and they all took their seats again. “Praise the Lord!”
People around them echoed the pastor’s words as he opened his Bible on the pulpit.
Julian shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable for the duration of the sermon. He ended up putting his arm along the back of the pew behind Kiara. It allowed him to stretch out a bit, and Kiara didn’t seem to be bothered by it.
“What does it mean to have our hope in Christ?” the pastor asked. "It means that we don't put our trust in the things of this world. Not in money, not in relationships, not in our jobs or our health. All of those things can fail us. But Christ? He never fails."
Julian found himself leaning forward slightly, drawn in by the pastor's words despite himself. He'd spent his entire life trusting in things that had ultimately failed him—alcohol most prominently. He'd trusted it to numb his pain, to help him forget. But where had that gotten him?
The pastor moved from behind the pulpit, walking across the stage with a confidence that reminded Julian of his father addressing a board meeting. "The world promises security but delivers chaos. It promises fulfillment but delivers emptiness. It promises freedom but delivers bondage."
Julian felt a strange tightening in his chest. Those words hit uncomfortably close to home. He glanced at Kiara, wondering if she felt the same strange resonance. Her face was tilted up toward the pastor, her expression thoughtful, one hand resting on her rounded belly.
"But in Christ," the pastor continued, his voice rising with conviction, "we find true security. A promise of everlasting life. True fulfillment. Not because our circumstances change, but because He changes us from within. And we are given true freedom since we are no longer bound by the shackles of our sin.”
Julian shifted in his seat again. He'd been to countless business presentations, motivational speeches, even a couple of political rallies.
All of them had had captivating speakers, but this felt different…
more personal somehow, as if the pastor were speaking directly to him rather than addressing a room full of people.
"When we place our hope in Christ alone," the pastor said, "we're no longer at the mercy of our circumstances. We're no longer defined by our mistakes, our sin, or our failures."
The word "failures" seemed to hang in the air. Julian's mind flashed back to his childhood—the secret he'd kept, his role in the twins' kidnapping. The treatment center had helped him begin to address that guilt, but it still lingered, a shadow over his heart.
"We all have a past," the pastor said, as if reading Julian's thoughts.
"Every single one of us has things we're not proud of.
Things we wish we could undo. But here's the good news—Christ already paid the price for those things on the cross.
Your past doesn't have to define your future.
In First John chapter one, verse nine, it says If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "
Julian felt something catch in his throat. He hadn't expected to be so affected by a sermon. He'd come to church out of curiosity, maybe to understand Elijah better, but now he found himself genuinely moved.
The pastor continued, speaking of forgiveness and redemption, of how Christ could transform a life and make it new.
Julian listened, his mind racing with memories of his own broken life.
The secret he’d kept. The flippant way he’d treated women.
The alcohol and sex he’d turned to in order to find a way to feel something other than the guilt he carried.
But lately, he'd been working hard to get sober, to fix his relationships with his family, to be the kind of man who could be a good father to his son. Was it enough? Could he truly overcome his past?
As the pastor continued speaking about grace and second chances, Julian felt Kiara shift beside him.
She'd placed both hands on her belly now, a small smile playing on her lips.
He wondered if the baby was moving. The thought that his son was right there…
growing, developing, becoming a person, filled him with equal parts wonder and terror.
"When we place our hope in Christ," the pastor said, "we're not just hoping things will get better. We're standing on the solid foundation of God's promises. And His promises never fail."
Julian thought about the promises he'd made to himself over the years. The promise not to drink as much. The promise to be a better son. To be a better brother. But he’d failed, over and over, undermined by the memory of what he’d done. He’d eventually given up even trying to be a better person.
Could he make new promises—ones that wouldn't fail? He needed to think about it. Maybe have another conversation with Elijah.
It just seemed too easy. Too simple. When everything else in his adult life had resulted from hard work, it just seemed impossible for something so good to be available so easily.
The service continued with another song and a final prayer. As everyone stood around them, Julian removed his arm from the pew behind Kiara, flexing his fingers to restore circulation.
"What did you think?" Kiara asked, turning toward him as they stood up.
"It was… thought-provoking," Julian said honestly. "Different from what I expected."
"Me too," she admitted. "I've been to church before, but this felt different somehow."
As they filed out of the pew, Julian noticed several people glancing their way with curious expressions.
He was used to being recognized—the Burke name was well known in the business world, and his face had been plastered across the internet for years.
Still, it felt different to be recognized in a church.
"Julian, Kiara," Angela said, turning to them as they reached the aisle. "You remember Melanie and Cooper, right? They were at our wedding.”
The woman—Melanie—smiled warmly. "It's wonderful to see you both again. Angela's told us so much about you."
Julian shook their hands, feeling slightly uncomfortable. What exactly had Angela told them about? His drinking? Their unplanned pregnancy? The hasty marriage that had followed?
"We're glad you're here,” Cooper said with a smile, and when he offered his hand, Julian took it in a firm shake. “I hope you’ll come back again.”
Julian wasn’t sure if he would or not. Right then, he had questions that he didn’t feel comfortable asking Jude or Cooper. Maybe once he’d had a chance to speak with Elijah, he’d have a better idea of whether he’d come back again.
“Well, we’d better go grab our kids before they page us to come get them,” Melanie said with a laugh. “It was good to see you both again. Hope we see you again soon.”
Once they’d left, the four of them moved from the sanctuary out to the foyer with Lucy leading them and Anthony following behind.
“Do you want to go for lunch?” Angie asked.
“I wouldn’t mind that,” Kiara said. “I’m hungry.”
Angie chuckled. “Lately, you’re always hungry.”
In the end, they decided to go to a family-style restaurant. Julian had never been there before, but it smelled appetizing when they walked into the building.
Anthony and Lucy stood by the door as they walked in, their eyes scanning the restaurant.
Julian had grown up with security, and he was usually in places where having a bodyguard wasn’t strange.
But now that they were in a more relaxed environment with…
normal people… he was more aware of how his presence—and that of the security guards—drew attention in a way he wasn’t as accustomed to.
The hostess greeted them, her eyes widening slightly when she saw him. A flirty smile crossed her face, which made Julian uncomfortable. He stepped closer to Kiara, hoping to make it clear that he was not available for the type of interaction she might be looking for.
Previously, it had never bothered him when women had flirted with him, even when he was out on a date with another woman. None of the women had meant anything to him. He wasn’t proud of the attitude he’d had, and he definitely had a different one when it came to Kiara.
She was the mother of his child and, for the time being, his wife. As such, she deserved the respect that he had never given those other women.
As the hostess led the way deeper into the restaurant, Julian followed the group, with Anthony and Lucy bringing up the rear. Jude had made sure the hostess knew that they needed two separate tables, though still close together.
They were shown to a booth, where Julian slid in next to Kiara, letting her take the inside seat while he positioned himself on the outer edge. It felt protective somehow, though he couldn't have explained why. Protecting wasn’t his job. That was why they had bodyguards.
"What do you recommend?" Kiara asked, opening her menu.
"Everything here is good," Angela said. "But I especially love their fried chicken."
Julian scanned the offerings, surprised by the home-style options. He'd rarely eaten at places like this, usually opting for high-end restaurants where the meal was served in courses, and the food was artfully arranged.
"I think I'll get the pot roast," Kiara said, closing her menu decisively. "With extra mashed potatoes."
"Is that the best thing here?" Julian asked, looking over his own menu.