Chapter 14
Beck
After our talk at the lookout, Clara steered the conversation to information about the area, things to do, and the best restaurants. I needed more information to render an opinion on the viability of the brewery, which wasn't based on feelings.
Clara wasn't going to convince me that my decisions were based on anything other than facts. I spoke the truth. I never sugar-coated things, and I wasn't going to start now that Malcolm had asked me for advice.
Malcolm knew I'd be straight with him. And it was ludicrous to think that I made decisions based on a feeling.
We stopped at another lookout and ate the snacks we'd brought. I couldn't believe that Malcolm didn't make it and substituted his sister without asking me. It was a sign that he trusted me with her, and I shouldn't betray that trust.
But I couldn't help but wonder what happened when we came to the end of the trail. Did we go our separate ways, or could I convince her to come back to my place?
It was growing colder, and the wind was gusting.
"It smells like snow," she said as we picked up our pace.
"That's not a thing," I said easily.
She gave me a look. "I looked at the forecast before we came out here, and it said there was a snowstorm coming in. But this is sooner than they were saying."
"We should get back then."
"Yes." She kept her gaze on the trail in front of us.
The rest of the hikers must have already gotten the message because the trails were empty. When the trees cleared and the parking lot came into view, Clara's shoulders inched upward. She was worried.
It was cold, and I was chilled to the bone, but I wanted to distract her from our current situation. "You want to try out my hot tub when we get to the cabin?"
She glanced over at me. "You can't be serious?"
"We're cold. The hot tub would feel good after hiking all afternoon."
She groaned. "That sounds lovely."
I was fairly sure she didn't carry a swimsuit to go hiking in the winter. "I can throw on a couple of steaks and potatoes on the grill."
Her brow furrowed. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"It's a terrible one, but sometimes, I can't stop myself from going down the wrong road."
Was it my imagination, or had she winced slightly at my reference to the wrong road? She couldn't possibly think this would lead anywhere?
At the parking lot, she let out a relieved breath.
I pulled her toward me. "Are you going to let me warm you up?"
She nodded slowly. "Yes, please."
I smacked her ass. "Such a good girl. Meet me at home."
I waited for her to get into her car, and then I pulled out first so she could follow me. It was customary to eat a nice meal after a long hike. And I was being nice to her. She was my best friend's younger sister after all. I couldn't exactly let her go home cold and hungry.
I wasn't so sure Malcolm would be convinced of my argument. Especially if he learned about what I planned to do to her in the hot tub. I wanted to get her naked again, and there was something about my cabin. It felt like our own little world, where societal rules and expectations couldn't touch us.
Malcolm had no reason to visit. I usually saw him somewhere else. And he'd thrown Clara at me today. So this was his fault.
By the time I parked in my garage and gestured for Clara to do the same, I was convinced I wasn't doing anything wrong. For once, I was giving into my desires.
I unlocked the door and pushed it open so she could walk in first.
She toed off her boots, leaving them by the door, and hung up her jacket on one of the hooks on the wall. "Where's this hot tub?"
I inclined my head toward the back door. "On the deck."
"I didn't see it the last time I was here."
"You've only been here at night." We'd confined our activities to the bedroom. Inviting her in the daytime to enjoy my hot tub was a new level for me. I ignored the voice in my head that asked why I was making her dinner too.
I removed my boots and jacket, then led the way to the sliding door.
I opened it and stepped outside to turn on the heaters that allowed us to enjoy the space even in winter.
The porch itself was made with thick logs and felt sturdy.
That was probably why they put the hot tub here.
"When you're in the hot tub, it feels like you're in a treehouse. "
She gazed over the deck railing. "It is gorgeous here."
The view was trees and mountains. Malcolm wasn't wrong about me falling in love with this place.
But there were so many other places to see and things to do.
How could I ever settle on just one? Settling down was for other people who trusted that life worked out for them.
I'd been shown the opposite for too many years to count.
I pushed off the cover. Then I checked the temperature, raising it before turning on the jets. I'd only used the tub once. It was nicer to have her here with me. I pulled off my shirt and threw it on a nearby rocking chair.
Her lips pursed. "I don't have a suit."
I grinned at her. "Neither do I."
"That's convenient," she huffed.
"I didn't think I'd have much of an opportunity to swim in the winter in Colorado."
"You will soon if Rowan gets his way with the beer bath. You can take a dip in the hops. I've always thought the view at the inn was unmatched."
"You might be right about that." I unbuckled the button on my cargo pants and pushed them down and off. "The trees block a lot of the view here."
"It's still a nice view." She watched me remove my briefs. Then I stepped into the water.
"The temperature is perfect," I said as I sunk down so that my shoulders were underneath the surface.
I slid over to the side of the tub so I could watch her strip. Her movements were jerky because it was cold out, and the heaters hadn't yet warmed the space entirely. If she got close enough, I'd do the job for her.
When she unhooked her bra, I fixated on the hard points of her nipples.
I hooked my finger in a come-hither motion. "Get warmed up."
She smirked as she stepped into the tub naked. I barely restrained myself from pulling her closer. I waited for her to slowly ease under the water, enjoying the view.
I couldn't resist any longer. "Why are you sitting so far away?"
Her lips quirked. "I thought we were behaving ourselves."
I chuckled. "You're naked in my hot tub. Is that what you call being a good girl?"
"I'm trying to do my best to resist you."
I sobered. "You're best isn't good enough."
"What should we do about that?" she asked me.
I snagged her wrist, pulling her through the water until she was straddling my waist. In this position, her pussy ground against my dick, and her breasts were at the level of my mouth. I couldn't resist sucking on one.
Her head fell back as she slid over my length. "Is this why you brought me here?"
"Mmm." I hummed as I sucked her nipple.
Her fingers tangled in the hair at the back of my head, and she moved jerkily over me. At one point, the tip of my dick slid inside her, and we both stilled.
There was something about the combination of cold air and hot water that heightened my senses. I felt exposed with her.
She stilled. "Can we go without protection? I'm on birth control, and we're both clean."
It was a timely question, but my brain rebelled at the idea. It was a risk I wasn't willing to take. If it happened, I'd try to be a good father, but I knew I'd fall short.
She moved off me. "It's okay if you're not ready."
I moved away to grab the condom in my wallet. I kept replenishing them because it was clear I couldn't control myself around this woman. And I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready to forego them.
She took the wrapper from me and made a show of covering my dick.
"No more teasing." I grabbed her, and the water sloshed out of the tub.
She giggled, and I moved us back to the same position. "I'm doing something wrong if you're laughing during sex." I bucked my hips so that my dick slid against her entrance, and her mouth dropped open.
She looked down at me, her fingers playing aimlessly again with the strands of my hair at the base of my neck. "More."
I lined myself up with her center, and she lowered herself over me. Each time with her was better than the last, more intense somehow. My heart thudded heavily as I held myself back. I forced myself to focus on her nipples, allowing her to set the pace.
When I scraped the soft skin of her breast with my teeth, she moaned long and deep. I thrust into her from underneath, hoping to make her feel good.
She threw her head back, her hair trailing on the surface of the water. Her skin was flushed from the combination of hot water and cool air and glistened with a sheen of water. She was absolutely gorgeous.
"Are you going to come for me?" I asked in a low voice.
She lifted her head and opened her eyes. "Are you going to make me come?"
Challenge accepted. I pounded into her from underneath while she moved over me. I sucked on one nipple, and I rolled the other with my fingers.
She bit her lip as if she was trying to hold back.
"Let go." I found her clit and rubbed it.
She ground down on me and cried out, "Beck!"
There was something about her saying my name in the throes of passion that did weird things to my heart. It was fluttering and squeezing. I should be concerned that I was having a heart attack. It couldn't possibly be that I was having feelings for her. That was against my rules.
Her thighs clamped around mine, and I followed her over, imagining all the ways she was ruining me for anyone else. All I could see was her, which made no sense because I knew my time here was dwindling. I could leave at any time, and I should.
I loosened my grip on her. Why was I holding onto her tightly? Why did it feel like it was hard to draw in a deep breath? What was she doing to me?
I was helpless to stop whatever this was. I couldn't say no to another night with her. Especially since this was all we could ever have. I lifted her off me and took care of the condom. Then I pulled her back into my lap. "Relax and admire the view."
She sat sideways on my lap, her fingers curled against my chest. "It's beautiful. If I lived here, I'd spend all my time in this spot."
"Wouldn't your skin wrinkle?" I murmured.
She smiled. "On the rocking chairs then."
It was in moments like these, when we were alone and just talking about anything and nothing, that I felt closer to her. It wasn't something I'd ever experienced with another woman. When sex was over, I made an excuse to leave. I didn't stick around and talk about the view.
She rested her head on my shoulder, and my heart skipped a beat. Tenderness washed over me. The sensation was so acute; it made my breath hitch. "Are you hungry?"
"Can you wait a few minutes before you get out? I don't want to move."
I made circles with my fingers on her thigh. I never wanted to move either. But that was dangerous. I was getting in deeper with her, and I had a feeling it would be harder to stay away from her if we continued. But hell, if I was able to walk away.
I cradled her on my lap, the water slowly moving around us.
"Today reminded me what I love about my home," Clara finally said.
I brushed her hair out of her face. "That's good, right?"
"I was supposed to convince you to stay."
"Is that what Malcolm said?"
"He's worried that you'll move onto the next thing. He thinks you could like it here if you gave it a chance."
"I don't fall in love with places or people," I said emphatically.
She shifted so she could see my face. "Never?"
I shook my head. "I've never felt that way before. I love my siblings, and I'm sure a part of me loves my parents, even if they didn't meet my expectations for what parents should be."
"I'm probably supposed to tell you that you haven't met the right person yet. But I thought I was in love with my last boyfriend. After we were together for a while, we fell out of love. How can you trust that your feelings will last?"
"You can't." That much was very clear to me.
"We're both broken," she said so softly I wasn't sure I heard her correctly.
I didn't want her to think of herself as broken. "I don't believe that."
She rearranged herself in my lap so that more of her was pressed against my chest. "I thought I wanted the family, the marriage, and the kids. But now? I'm not sure what to trust anymore. I just wanted something in my life that made me feel alive, and I do when I'm with you."
I'd never been important in someone's life before. I wanted to say that I couldn't be that person for her. But I didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead, I kissed her temple and held her more tightly.