CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
KAGE
“What the fuck are you doing, man?” Reaper asks as he narrows his gaze at me.
I roll my eyes as I pick up my drink.
“You did the same fucking thing to Bella, but for no reason. She didn’t do what Raina did, and you still had her chained up. Don’t judge me.”
He finishes his whiskey and slams the glass down on the pool table.
“Before, dickhead. Not after I realized what she meant to me. And what are you going to do if she’s pregnant?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, because it’s all I’ve got.
I didn’t react well to finding out she betrayed me, I know that. Emotions and I don’t mix well. If she’s pregnant, I’m not sure what to do, because I’ll never let her go off and raise my child without me. Yet, living together raising a child won’t work either, because Raina will never forgive me. Hell, I’ll never forgive myself. I wanted to hurt her, make her pay a price for what she did, but I went too far. Way too fucking far, and now everything is broken beyond repair.
My brother glances at his phone.
“The test is done. Let’s go find out if you’re going to be a father.”
We walk into the basement to find the women talking, and even laughing about something. The second Raina sees me, everything changes, like the room temperature dropped ten degrees. Her posture goes from straight to hunched over, her gaze on the floor. Bella takes her hand and squeezes it, before glaring at me.
“We are going to give you a few moments alone, and I swear to God, Kage, if you chain her up, I will choke you out myself.”
Her and my brother laugh as they leave us alone. I swallow hard as I approach Raina, and she flinches away from my touch.
“Raina, before you tell me what the test says, we need to talk.”
She folds her arms across her waist like she’s trying to hug herself, and her eyes stay on the floor.
“Look at me.”
“Are you sure you want your whore to look at you?”
Fuck.
“You are not a fucking whore. You’re an example of why I hope that test is negative, because I fuck up everything I touch. I can’t handle shit any other way. Torture and death is all I know.”
She shakes her head, still staring at the same spot on the floor.
“When does it end, Kage? Or does it? Maybe the pain keeps going until we die.”
“It ends now, Firecracker. Right fucking now.”
I reach out to touch her because, fuck, I want to hold her in my arms, but again she moves away from me.
“Kill us both if you need to, but I don’t want you to touch me.”
My need to touch her is so real that my fingers twitch, but I know if I don’t respect her words, it’s over. If I have any chance of fixing this, I need to listen to her. Raina has never been treated like a human being with worth, and the things I’ve done to her have told her that I don’t value her any more than her family did. Actions speak louder than words, and my actions have shouted that she means nothing to me, when in reality she means fucking everything.
“Yeah, I’m pregnant, Kage. Congratulations. You got your whore pregnant.”
Her words are angry, but I can hear the hurt in her voice. I don’t know for sure what the future holds, but I don’t believe there’s any coming back from what I’ve done.
“Firecracker.”
She lifts her gaze to mine, finally, with a glare.
“It’s Raina. My name is Raina. Firecracker was what a man I loved used to call me. Your used up whore is named Raina.”
I clench my fist, trying to control my hand.
“You will always be my Firecracker. The woman who stole my heart with one bratty comment at a time.”
The green eyes I felt drawn to are gone. No longer vibrant, but dull, lifeless, in her vacant stare. I did that.
“I’m not sure you have a heart, Kage. If you did, you couldn’t have-”
She doesn’t finish her sentence, Raina only shakes her head, like the words are too painful to even say out loud.
With an audible sigh, she asks, “What now?”
“Now we go upstairs.”
“Back to the cage in the bedroom,” she says, I think, to herself.
“Back to my bed, where you fucking belong.”
She stares at me with shock, as she backs up like I hit her.
“That’s not where I belong. Kage, we can’t just rewind because I’m pregnant.”
I run a hand through my hair, as the insanity threatens to close in on me.
“I will not fuck you until you want me to, but you will sleep in my fucking bed.”
Reaper and Bella walk back in, and they both watch us with concern.
Bella is all smiles, and says, “Why don’t you guys go upstairs? I’ll bring Raina up in a few minutes.”
My brother’s girl is interesting. A pretty blonde that appears to have a bubbly personality, but will kill you in a heartbeat, if you aren’t family. Her and Reaper are two nuts from the same fucking shell. I can only hope that one day Raina forgives me, the way Bella has with Reaper. As we walk out of the basement to go upstairs, my brother seems to have read my mind.
“It’s going to take time.”
I drag a hand down my face as I admit, “I don’t know how to get through this. Through to her.”
He glances at me with an arched brow, like I’m an idiot.
“You didn’t break it overnight. It’s going to take time to fix it. You can’t force this, Kage. That’s our way, I know, but this time you have to be patient, and think about her. Instead of thinking about what you need, you need to figure out what Raina needs. I suggest you figure this shit out before you bring a baby into your life.”
I can’t help the chuckle that erupts from me, even though what he said isn’t funny.
“When the fuck did our serial killer little brother gain all this emotional intelligence?”
He grins wide.
“It’s all Bella, brother. I figured out along the way that if I give her what she needs, she gives me what I want. And she’s happy. Seeing your girl happy is fucking everything.”
I swallow hard as the memory assaults me. That’s exactly why I killed her friend, because seeing her happy, knowing it was another man that put that smile on her face, made me insane with jealousy. I want to be the one to give her that, but I don’t fucking know how.
“I told her she has to sleep in my bed.”
He nods in agreement.
“As she should. If you give her too much space, you’ll end up living here as roommates. You don’t want that.”