CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
RAINA
Bella pulls the chair from across the room beside the one I’m sitting in, and takes a seat facing me.
“How are you feeling about things? About the pregnancy?”
A tear falls down my cheek, surprising me, because I wouldn’t think I’d have any left by now.
“I know you’ll think I’m a horrible person, but I don’t want this baby. We aren’t going on to live some happy ever after. I’ll never forgive Lorenzo for what he has done to me. Maybe I’ll always be his captive, but I don’t want a child tying us together.”
She takes my hand and squeezes gently.
“Athena and I have our own horror stories to tell. Neither of us started out in love with our men. The Bonetti men don’t always make great choices. Their ideas of consent are blurred at best. The one thing they all share is their inability to handle emotions. Kage and Psycho both only know anger. Any other emotion that surfaces turns into rage, because they don’t know how to handle anything else. Sadness, betrayal, heartbreak, it’s all dealt with by violence. They don’t know another way, but Kage loves you. He wants to be what you need. I’m not saying to forgive him, maybe just don’t close yourself off completely. Nico and I didn’t have a peaceful start. He was brutal. Call me crazy, but I can’t imagine my life without him now.”
“You’re crazy,” I say, which leads to her laughing.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that once or twice before. I’m going to tell Kage to give you my number. If you need anything, call me. I mean it. Anything.”
I swallow hard, because looking at her causes an emotional reaction.
“I’m sorry you lost your baby. And that he sent you, of all people, to give me a pregnancy test.”
Tilting her head, she smiles softly.
“None of what happened is your fault. Everybody deals with things differently, I suppose, but this is my way of getting through it. I want to help you, Raina. You may not see it now, but you’re going to fall in love with your baby. One day you’re going to look at Kage, and not see what he did to you, but what he does to you. I believe that, because I know you are to him what I am to Nico.”
“What is that?” I ask.
She breathes, “Everything.”
I still think she’s crazy, and as if she can read my mind, she giggles and says, “Let’s get you upstairs, before Kage comes looking for you.”
We get to where the guys are, and I immediately notice the pained look in his eyes. I know he regrets what he did, but I don’t think I’ll ever look at him, and not hear him calling me a whore in that venomous tone. It’s not the word, it’s the way he said it. What he meant by it. Words are only words until the person saying them gives them meaning.