XXXIII
"How do you feel about this expedition?"
?Alex sat impatiently, sitting opposite his father in his study. The expedition was due to leave in a matter of minutes and Alex had been eager to get going. The duke had called for him moments before he needed to go to the paddock.
?Alex knew not to reply, it wasn't a question that his father wanted him to answer.
?Even if it took effort, he kept his father's eye contact, feeling cold as the sharp blue ice stared back. Every second that passed was another second that Alex wasn't at the stable getting ready. He grew impatient.
?"You've done well," the duke said. It sounded like a compliment on the outside but Alex knew better.
?Silence stretched on, minutes passing whilst Alex could do nothing more than maintain his emotionless stare and wait.
The duke was allowing time to move patiently and Alex couldn't think about anything other than how late he was, that the others were waiting.
Restlessness itched under his skin, he fought not to fidget or bounce his leg.
?Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore.
?"Your Grace, may I ask what you require of me?" He tried to sound as polite and nonthreatening as possible. Inside, he was squirming like a little boy.
?"Nothing, Alex. I said you did well, didn't I?"
?"Then, if I may..."
?"No," the duke silenced him. Alex didn't react.
?Alex knew why his father didn't trust him— it was the very same reason why he did. Alex was being controlled by leverage alone and only his behaviour was influenceable, which both consoled and unnerved the duke. What was inside Alex's heart was known by both of them.
?Alex despised him.
?Time dragged by, kicking and screaming. The duke sipped at his tea, leaving Alex uselessly tied to his chair.
?He didn't know what the duke was doing, wasting time would only hurt the expedition. The rest of them would be stuck there, waiting for him.
?Alex grit his teeth. "Your Grace, I must go—"
?The duke slammed his cup onto the table, the tea splashing over the edge from the force.
He stood up, walking around the desk and behind him.
Alex desperately kept his head straight forward, remaining seated.
His heart rate scattered nervously as the duke placed a hand on his shoulder. He couldn't look back.
?"Worried? There's no need to be." The duke's words came out deceptively smooth, but the tightening grip on Alex's shoulder was anything but gentle.
His father was always very good at making Alex feel like a scared child.
Even if he towered over the ageing man as an adult, Duke Chamberlain made him feel like something tiny and pitiful, like resistance would be useless.
?"Since you're not feeling well, Caelan is taking your place."
?Caelan?
?Fury flared and something snapped inside Alex.
Perhaps resistance would have been futile at some point in his life, but it would be over his dead body that this was taken from him too.
Alex would not let himself get pushed aside this time.
He needed power, he needed to be as deeply entrenched as he could get, all for the sake of his survival.
?Alex stood up, even if the duke's hand tried to force him down.
?"What do you think you're doing?" the duke hissed.
?Alex wouldn't be deterred, he squared his shoulders and turned, looking down at the man in the same demeaning way that he'd obediently received himself.
If there was one thing the duke hated more than his existence, it was the fact that he made the duke's impressive stature seem pathetic in comparison.
?Duke Chamberlain fumed, his face reddening and creasing harshly, and brought his hand back, smacking Alex across the cheek. Pain erupted, his skin feeling both numb and sharp at the same time, but Alex refused to give the man the satisfaction of a reaction.
?"Are you sure you want to do this, boy? Is this the hill you'll all die on?"
?Alex sneered at the threats. He knew the duke wasn't referring to the expedition team when he said that. The duke may have been furious but he wouldn't let go of Alex just for this reason. Alex was too valuable now. This disobedience wasn't extreme enough for his leverage to be discarded.
?Alex leaned down into the duke's face. "You wouldn't dare," he said, with full confidence. "You do that and you'll lose me forever and I'll take you all down with me."
?The duke smacked him again, in the same place, harder. It was painful, he stumbled, the duke was a strong man. But, Alex wouldn't back down here. He was going to Korcaster no matter how many bruises he got in punishment; like Hell would he let Caelan take his place.
?"Father is very forgiving," Alex went on. "I'm sure you'll forgive me for being rebellious just this once."
?"You're a parasite, Alexander. I give you a name and a home and you just can't help your nature, can you?" The duke shoved a pointed finger into Alex's chest, turning his nose up in disgust, like he'd caught a bad stench. "You're just like the rest of the slaves, ungrateful and barbaric."
?Alex smiled, even if he seethed inside. "Yes, Your Grace."
?"You're too late anyway."
?Alex would sprint to catch up with the expedition if he had to, even if they'd already left. He didn't care how long it would take, he would reach them.
?"This lowly barbarian will now excuse himself." Alex bowed his head politely, strolling out the room and leaving the duke standing on the spot, stewing in his rage.
?The duke would probably torture him on his return but it didn't matter— the amount of value Alex accumulated from this trip severely outweighed the certainty of pain.
Once James got power, it would be impossible for the duke to touch him anymore.
James would remember his contribution. He was sure of it.
?Alex tore through the palace, running as fast as he could, heart pounding, dodging any person that stood in his way. The servants watched him oddly and civil servants whispered as he rushed past. The stables were on the other side but Alex would get there, he would then steal a horse if he had to.
?Alex burst out of the door that led to the paddock, the sun blinding him in his rush, he quickly looked around, squinting, only to be stumped short. He heaved in oxygen, out of breath, meeting the faces of his expedition, four sets of wide eyes on him, just as surprised as he was.
?They hadn't left yet?
?They lingered near some benches, their horses being tied to a post next to them.
Alex quickly scanned the paddock for his older brother, geared up for a confrontation.
But, he was nowhere to be seen. Only the curious and bizarre looks of other knights and stableboys who had been going about their own business until Alex had made a scene. He suddenly felt a little embarrassed.
?"You're all still here?" he huffed out, still looking around in confusion.
?There was an awkward tension among the men, palpable enough for Alex to notice.
Fletcher's narrow shoulders were hunched in a way that made him look smaller as he sat, Thomas was studying the ground next to him, whilst Riley was staring right at James, his frame hard and his jaw tense, too distracted to acknowledge Alex's presence.
?Alex turned his head to James, who loitered near his horse.
James' scarred arm was covered in some dark material, Eris on his hip, he had one large bag on his back and another looped on his elbow.
Alex narrowed his eyes, wondering what Riley was so concerned about.
James was casually picking at his nails, uncaring.
?As if on instinct, James lifted his head once he noticed he was being watched and simply looked between them with wide innocent eyes, like he wasn't sure why the attention was on him.
?"Took you a while," James remarked. He dropped the bag on his elbow to the floor and gestured to it. Alex only then realised it was his, he thought he'd left it in his room.
?"Was Caelan here?" Alex asked, suspicious.
?James blinked. "Who?"
?He looked to Thomas, who subtly shook his head, advising Alex to drop it. Fletcher looked pale.
?Looking down at where Thomas had been staring, he noticed that the soil around them seemed like it'd been disturbed by something other than horses, with long flat scrapes that brushed the dust aside and skidding boot marks indenting the filth like a wax seal stamped by violence.
Riley was still regarding James uneasily and Alex noticed powdery dirt on James' clothes.
?Thomas stood up, keeping a reassuring hand on Fletcher's shoulder. "We ought to get going," he advised.
?Whatever had happened, it didn't seem like anyone was comfortable telling him just then. He couldn't waste time trying to figure it out himself, the duke could change his mind any moment and come to deal with the situation himself.
?"Okay, let's get going," Alex declared, clapping his hands to snap them out of whatever awkward air they were basking in.
?They obediently took their horses by the reins, checking the equipment. Thomas helped Fletcher throughout the process, the smaller man unsure and uneasy around the animals.
?Whilst they were distracted, Alex picked up his bag from the ground, hauled the straps over his shoulders, and then drifted towards James.
?"Nothing will come and bite me, will it?" he murmured as James tightened his saddle. He noticed James had prepared his horse too and had even secured some blankets behind the saddle for him. It was a strangely generous gesture coming from the emotionally stunted psycho.
?James cracked a small, almost indistinguishable, smile. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said on a quiet hum. "Only thing that might bite you is me."
?Alex grinned, the appreciative look in James' cherry eyes had warmed up his chest, spreading through his body. He was faintly aware that they were standing a little too close and that his smouldering gaze was lingering on James for a little too long, but it felt too good to move.
?James nudged Alex away as if realising Alex wouldn't.
?They mounted their horses with ease, Fletcher needing some assistance.
The royal knights' horses were large beasts and for Fletcher, who had been exempt from military service, they were clearly an intimidating method of travel.
They couldn't bring a carriage on this trip since they needed to be swift and adaptable; there was no way to know if the path they picked was wide or flat enough.
?As if knowing Fletcher was struggling, James eased his horse to come beside Fletcher's and reached over to take the heavy bag off his back.
?"You don't have to do that," Fletcher protested.
?"It's annoying to look at you," James responded, fiddling with the straps to loosen them and then fit it behind his own, carrying double the load.
?Alex watched in interest. He'd heard that James was the one to suggest Fletcher for this trip and it became apparent that James taking his bag was the equivalent of an apology, he just didn't say it in words.
?Something twisted pleasantly in his chest. James had used words with him, he wondered if it was a privilege that only applied to him. The thought was exciting. He hoped he wasn't imagining it.
?As they traversed through the city, Alex took care to be careful not to trample any civilians, especially children.
It had just passed lunch time and the city was bustling with people to the point he sometimes had to shout for people to clear the way.
Too many times had he seen people get injured by lazy calvary in this way.
?As the density of people began to ease further away from the city centre, he could relax more. By the time they'd reached the outskirts, it was no longer a concern.
?The sunlight blinked in Alex's eyes as they travelled under leaves and patches of shadow, the constant flickering irritating. He fell back to check on Fletcher and the scholar smiled unconvincingly, trying to persuade Alex that he was okay.
?"Stick with Fletcher," he told Thomas, worried for the younger man. Thomas nodded.
?Ahead, James and Riley were riding side by side. Riley was still sneaking glances at James, who kept catching him doing so. Alex urged his horse to get closer, uneasy.
?"Stop looking at me, you're creepy," James told him.
?Riley scoffed. "I can't believe you said that. You. Of all people."
?"It's like a snake is staring at me. I'm not that handsome, so maybe look where you're going? You might find a child you want to kidnap on the road. Otherwise I'm going to tear my face off and that'll really give you something to look at."
?Riley clearly didn't understand the remark about kidnapping children but responded anyway. "Funny that a demon is calling me a snake, if it wasn't for His Majesty's protection order I would have burned you at the stake already."
?Alex pushed his horse in between the two men, forcing them apart. The horses snorted and sidestepped in complaint.
?"Stop bickering," Alex snapped, already regretting his choice. He faintly thought that maybe he should have let his brother do this after all; the torture of listening to James and Riley fight all day would've been painful enough to nearly be worth it.
?"The demon spoke first."
?Alex sighed. "Do you actually believe in demons?"
?"If there is a demon on Earth, I'm sure Jay would be the closest thing to one." Riley maintained vaguely. It did nothing to answer the question.
?"Riley, you're the one who begged to be included. If you don't stop causing problems, I'm going to ditch you at the next post."
?"You wouldn't," Riley challenged.
?"Try me."
?"Show some respect to your superior, you scaly fuck," James sang quietly.
?Riley narrowed his eyes and, after a quick glance at Alex's face, decided not to respond, pursing his lips shut.
It was lucky that he made the right choice because Alex still had some leftover fight in him from earlier.
He wasn't morally above getting physically violent for the sake of their success. He was itching to blow off some steam.
?Eager to change the mood, Alex looked behind him and called out to Fletcher.
?"Hey, Riley wants to know about demons in relation to the two temples."
?Fletcher's eyes lit up, happy to be offered a distraction. He could hear James sniggering, knowing that Riley was going to be on the receiving end of endless lecturing.
?Even if it annoyed Alex a little too, it was better background noise than the verbal sparring. He would have to make sure to keep Riley and James separated from that point on. If Alex didn't count as an innocent, Riley wouldn't either. He didn't want any murder on this trip.
?He sighed, determined yet anxious.