Chapter 183
National Slap Your Irritating Coworker Day
Slate
This month, Kalen put me in charge of organising the Halloween celebrations. Amelie has had him running errands in hopes that it deters him from some stupid celebration because we’ve had month after month of his ridiculousness and it’s getting pretty tiring.
I planned on doing a very chill haunted house, but Adrianne had a better idea: to play Kalen at his own game. Again.
At first I really didn’t think we should, because it would just encourage him to do something even more stupid next month, but her idea was funny. And to see my brother get a little taste of his own medicine every now and then is totally worth it.
National Slap Your Irritating Coworker Day.
It wasn’t hard to get everyone on board, with a promise that no one will get killed or lose their jobs, and at least half of the staff are ready to go today.
Everyone is well aware that if someone finds them irritating they could be in danger today, and it’s their call if they want to come into work and risk it.
It’s harmless fun, but I know normal employers couldn’t get away with this shit.
Adrianne walks into the building with a little pep in her step.
“It’s an amazing morning don’t you think?” She grins at me and flashes me a wink.
I laugh, of course today she would be excited and not annoyed to be here.
Kalen and Amelie walk in just after her, and since Adrianne has zero chill, she walks over to Amelie and hands her the coffee that she walked in with.
“Have an amazing day, boss.”
Amelie raises a brow at her. She knows Adrianne isn’t usually this perky in the mornings.
We didn’t tell Amelie about our plans for today since Kalen is way too good at making her spill her guts about our plans all of the time. He uses sex to make her talk.
My baby brother is one of the most annoying humans on the planet. I hope he gets what’s coming to him today.
“Did you get laid?” Amelie demands.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Adrianne fires back, grinning.
“Who is the brave man?” Kalen jokes.
Adrianne glares at him and before he can even register what is happening, Adrianne raises her hand and slaps him right across the face and storms off.
Kalen rubs his cheek in confusion and I chuckle, which causes Amelie to look over at me and tilt her head.
“Go and get some ice or something,” she tells Kalen, who’s whining about being slapped, but he nods and walks off towards the break room.
Once he is out of sight she strolls over to me.
“What did you do?”
I smile at her, the kind that shows all my teeth because watching him be slapped was well worth it and I know there is more to come.
“Slate,” she demands.
“Nothing, just celebrating today’s holiday,” I reply.
“And what is it that we are celebrating today?”
Before I can reply, Kalen runs back out to Amelie, his hand now holding his arse. “I think Cap has a thing for me! He just slapped my arse, winked at me and walked away!”
I suck my lips into my mouth trying not to laugh.
“You do have a fantastic arse,” Amelie says, rubbing her hand over his back side.
“I know. Not as fantastic as my monster cock though, but still worthy of poetry being written about it. But that’s not the point! I like Cap, but not like, like him. How do I let him down gently?”
Amelie glances over at me and then back to Kalen. Taking a deep breath, she forces a smile and tells him, “Why don’t you go and sit in my office for a minute? I just have to finish talking to Slate.”
Kalen looks over at me and, somehow, I manage to keep a straight face. I would like a handful more people to slap him before he figures out what is going on. “Okay, but if you’re longer than five minutes I may or may not be naked waiting for you.”
Amelie gives Kalen a pointed look. The amount of times people walk into Amelie’s office and see Kalen stark naked should probably be reported.
I’m surprised we haven’t had any lawsuits pop up, not that anyone would be game in this industry.
Silence is made in the form of your life, the payout goes to your family for our condolences.
Kalen skips away. Clearly he had an energy drink he didn’t need before coming in today. Normally I’d pity whoever has to work with him when he’s like that, but today I just grin. If he’s extra hyped-up, he’ll be earning himself extra slaps.
Under the scrutiny of Amelie’s death glare, I concede. “Fine. It’s National Slap Your Irritating Coworker Day. Please don’t tell him just yet…Think about all of the retribution we deserve. Let a few more people have their fun.”
Another deep sigh and I swear she mutters something under her breath about it being too early for this shit.
Before shaking her head and narrowing her eyes at me.
“Fine. But you’re coming with me to my office.
He’s going to be naked because he can’t tell the time for shit.
And I’m weak for all of you, so I’ll cave if he asks me what’s going on. ”
“Okay,” I say without any argument.
Normally my brothers and I would fight over who has to deal with Kalen but today it looks like for my enjoyment, he’ll be with me.
Amelie and I are walking side by side towards her office when Adrianne walks past rubbing her arse. I smirk at her.
“Shut it Knox! Can you believe that Cap thinks I’m annoying? Not that I’m against being spanked in the right setting, but it was unexpected and he refused to f…”
“We don’t need to hear the rest of that,” I say. Amelie chuckles. “Adrianne, you need to go and dig the halloween decorations out of storage.”
Adrianne is in charge of setting up the break room today because we needed a cover in case Amelie hadn’t found out about it. But now that she has, she gives me a look. I just wink at her.
“Yes boss! Anything to get out of here, it was just supposed to be Kalen getting hit.” Amelie gives her signature glare and Adrianne gulps. “Shit, forget I said anything!”
Amelie laughs as Adrianne retreats.
“Now I get it,” Amelie says with a smirk.
Once we get to her office, I open the door and motion for her to walk in and sure enough my brother is taking off his damn pants.
“Put your clothes on, moron, we’re going to do the rounds this morning and you’re coming with me.”
Kalen’s face lights up, “You picked me? Fuck, yeah!”
His pants are back up in a flash and he slips his feet back into his shoes. Some obnoxious expensive shit he has imported from Italy because he has sensitive soles.
Our first stop is the simulation room, where we run scenarios through virtual reality. We have a few in-person warehouses stationed all around the town, but no worker knows where they are unless they have had to be tested.
On our way, I see Elsie coming down the hall towards us. She smiles and I know that she plans to join in today.
“Hey guys, is Amelie in her office? I need to drop off some important paperwork.”
I nod, “She is, we just came from there.”
“Good,” she says. “See you both later.”
With that she slaps my brother as hard as she can on the arm and walks off.
Kalen rubs his arm, muttering curses under his breath. “Why the hell is everyone so slappy today? I’m going to be covered in bruises.”
I shrug my shoulders, still managing to keep a neutral expression.
He’ll get an invite to the lunch break room party in about an hour, so he’ll be let in on our little celebration, but he’s going to be the guest of honour.
Onyx is overseeing today’s simulations and he grunts as we walk in. There is no doubt my twin is amused about Kalen being slapped, he just doesn’t particularly want to be part of it. Little does he know today’s simulation has been set up just for him.
“These idiots are useless,” Onyx snaps, sighing. “Kalen, why don’t you go and show them how it’s done?”
Kalen’s face lights up. Amelie has banned him from the simulators because once he had the staff program a jelly wrestling match, and another time there was a wet t-shirt contest which caused a few disgruntled emails to be sent.
“Fuck yes!” he crows, bouncing off into the room, where a handful of newbies are waiting with their headsets on.
Both Onyx and I stand side by side. “It’s a room with him as the target, and everyone will be chasing Kalen and slapping him. I wanted to see if he would clue in to what’s happening or not.”
He pulls his headset on and Onyx presses a button on the control panel.
“What the fuck?” Kalen screeches, and Onyx and I laugh.
Once the headsets are on, they are locked and can’t be removed until Onyx or whoever is at the control panel releases them.
Kalen is very animated when he is in the room, not realising you don’t need to move around as long as you use your legs and arms. You can achieve the same outcome, but it’s like his reptilian brain takes over and he loses what little sense he had.
“Why is everyone hitting me?” Kalen whines. “Not my face! Not my beautiful face!”
“He does realise that he can’t feel shit, right?” Onyx asks.
“You know Kalen,” I reply with a shrug. “At the very least it’s amusing to watch.”
We laugh every time Kalen jumps, ducks or squeals until the simulation is done. By the time Onyx unlocks the head sets and Kalen storms towards us, I get a message from Sawyer saying the break room is set.
“What the fuck was that?” Kalen snaps and Onyx slaps his face and laughs at him. Kalen’s mouth falls open. “Fuck you all.”
He storms away, but I run behind him until I catch up to him halfway down the corridor.
“Amelie called and wants to see you in the break room.”
He tries his best to ignore me but heads towards the break room anyway.
When we reach the door he doesn’t even question why it’s closed he just throws it open and storms in. Workers from every department fill the room, crowding around him to lightly slap him.
His face is a picture and he’s too shocked to even think to retaliate. Eventually though, the crowd clears until there’s just one person left waiting to slap my brother.
Baxter Branson.
“Come on then, big boy,” Kalen says with a mock-sigh. “You know you want to put your hands on me like everyone else in here. I’m irresistible.”
Baxter slowly stalks towards my brother, an ice cold grin on his face. Everyone else in the room scurries back to give him a wide birth. I love how scared of him they are, and judging by the brief flash of amusement in his eyes, he does too.
“I’ve dreamed of getting my hands on you for years. This may not be the fantasy I’ve re-lived over and over in my mind, but it will have to do.”
“I knew you fantasised about me and my monster cock!” Kalen crows.
Baxter silences him by slapping him around the face with way more force than anyone else in the room used.
There’s a collective stunned silence and then Kalen laughs.
“That the best you’ve got? I think big scary Baxter fucking Branson is losing his touch!”
I expect Branson to growl or lose his shit, but his actual response is far more terrifying. He smiles. It’s shark-like and chilling.
It feels like the whole room is holding its breath, waiting to see what will happen next.
Branson’s reputation is legendary. Doesn’t matter that he’s not around as much as he used to be, everyone knows who he is and what he’s capable of.
And everyone knows he’s decapitated men for less than what Kalen’s just said.
Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea. I should step in and—
“Adrianne? Your assistance, please,” Branson says in a low, deadly tone.
Everyone shivers but Adrianne bounds forward with a bag in her arms, a delighted grin on her face.
“This, is for the nipple piercing,” Branson says, pulling something from the bag and slapping it across my brother’s cheek with such speed and force that I can’t make out what it even was.
The sound it makes though…that’s something else.
“Ewww! What the hell was that? It was wet! And cold! And Slimy!” Kalen whines, wiping his cheek. Adrianne laughs and holds up Branson’s weapon. “You slapped me with a fish? A wet fish?”
“A dead, wet fish,” Adrianne clarifies, beaming, as Branson disappears into the crowd. “Happy holidays!”
Kalen’s brow creases and she points behind him to the wall.
When he finally spots the banner he starts to laugh.
“Happy Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day!” Adrianne yells, pulling a party popper right into his face. He jumps back.
“You even made me a cake!” he coos. Adrianne screws her face up in disgust. “I knew deep down you really do love me.”
Kalen pulls Adrianne into a forced hug and she struggles against his hold, slapping him as he cackles. “You did good, but now that means I have to up the ante next month.”