Chapter 184
National Stress Awareness Day
Amelie
“What’s wrong, sis?” Kalen asks, bounding up to me as I walk through the doors to HQ, shivering my tits off.
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? It’s minus a thousand degrees out there and there’s snow everywhere!”
“I know! Isn’t it amazing?” He beams at me, my answering scowl doing nothing to diminish his joy.
“Why are you acting like that’s a good thing?”
“This is perfect! I love the snow. Oooooh, we should put the Christmas tree up!”
“Kalen, it’s November,” I point out.
“So?”
“So…no. Just, no.”
“Boo. You spoil all my fun. But you can’t spoil today! I have everything set up to celebrate today’s awareness day, and nothing will ruin it. Not even snow and your surly Grinch attitude.”
Trepidation swirls in my gut. Another holiday. True to his word, Kalen has forced his personal brand of hellish ‘fun’ on all of us for the last eleven months, and we’re so close to being done with this insanity that I can almost taste it.
Almost done. But not quite. Hence the nerves.
“What is it today?” I ask carefully, trying to mentally prepare myself for tigers or exploding toilets or something equally crazy and Kalenesque.
“It’s National Stress Awareness Day. So I’ve organised a range of activities for everyone under the guise of staff training and development. Best of all, we can now include the snow in my plans!”
Okay, snow aside, that’s actually a really good idea. I find myself nodding slowly. Helping the staff – and Onyx – to find ways to decrease their stress levels would be beneficial and useful.
“But first, I need to show you the best activity of them all,” he gushes like an excited child on their birthday and nothing good ever comes when he gets like this.
Kalen takes my hand and drags me down a hallway that leads to an open plan training area.
My feet struggle to keep up with the speed that he walks, but as we reach the doors and Kalen pushes them open, my teeth grind together.
“I swear to fucking god, if you declare rock out with your cock out, I might just murder you.”
“Gasp, as if I would do such a thing,” he says. I glare at him and he smiles.
“Okay fine, I would…but that is planned for after everyone leaves today. I wanted to recreate our first bouncy castle—”
“Jumping castle,” I correct.
“Tomato, tomatoe, but mark my words, later I plan to rock out with my cock out, jam out with my ham out, funk out with my junk out. You know you love the helicopter.”
I run a hand down my face. My first experience with Kalen and a jumping castle was in Australia. “A pants off dance off,” I reply playing into his little game because fuck I love him and I did have fun the first time around.
“Exactly.”
Adrianne walks up behind Kalen and slaps him on the back of the head. “If you get your cock out and I have to see it, I swear I will chop it off.”
Kalen cups his dick through his pants with both hands.
Like that would save him. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s seen him naked, or anyone else who works here either for that matter.
I swear the poor employees walk on eggshells just in case they run into him with no clothes on just around the next corner.
“Don’t be jealous that Cap isn’t bringing the goods to the table.”
I suck my lips into my mouth to hold back a chuckle because Cap is a very sore spot with my assistant. She claims that there’s nothing going on between her and Cap, but it’s obvious to everyone that there is.
“I’m not fucking Cap. What is wrong with your head?”
“That’s a loaded question, isn’t it? My parents swear they never dropped me on my head, but I think mum did and just won’t admit it. It’s pretty on the outside though, so that’s all that counts.”
“This is supposed to be a stress free day,” Adrianne whines.
“You’re right, take off your boots and have a jump,” Kalen says and Adrianne shakes her head no. Kalen shrugs and starts to unbutton his pants.
“If you don’t take off your boots, I will start removing clothes and chase you around. A rugby tackle may also be involved. A naked rugby tackle. So it’s your choice…”
“Do we have a HR department or something? Surely this is sexual harassment.”
Kalen’s face contorts, “Gross! I don’t want to have sex with you, no offence but in my head your vag has teeth and I am very attached to the Monster, thank you very much.”
Adrianne groans just as Frost walks through the door and Falon runs past him. “This is the best day ever!” the kid declares.
“Thanks for picking him up,” Adrianne says to Frost as he approaches.
“No problem, but that lady at the reception scares the life out of me. She looks at me like she wants to eat me.”
We all laugh. Kalen has run off after Falon, thankfully leaving us in peace for a few minutes. “I suggest you run while you can because Kalen will make this weird fast,” Adrianne tells him.
“I second that,” I say. “It will become a pants off dance off at the very least. Ah, shit, I spoke too soon.”
Both Falon and Kalen are stripped down to their boxers and socks. “Stress free my arse,” Adrianne quips but sits and starts removing her boots. “If he tries to make me take off my pants, I’m going to kill him.”
I snort. “Don’t let Baxter hear you say that. Kalen’s death has been promised to him. Several times over. Wouldn’t put it past Batman to figure out a way to bring him back from the dead just to kill him over and over again,” I tell her fondly.
“You snooze, you lose, he’s had plenty of opportunities.”
I chuckle, “Well, have fun with that. I’m going to go while I have a chance,” I say and Adrianne flips me off. I walk backwards slowly until I clear the room and sneak back down the hall.
I need to figure out what else Kalen has in store for today so I can at the very least warn everyone.
Cap comes down the hall, “Hey boss.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing. There’s a team of people here to set up for massages, I just wanted to run it by you first.”
Shit, I need to go and make sure they are legit, knowing Kalen these massages could end with a happy ending.
“I’ll go and deal with it. You might want to avoid going down there unless you want to be in your underwear on a bounce house with Kalen, Falon and Adrianne.”
Caps jaw flexes and he stalks off towards the very room I warned him about, but nothing is going on between him and Adrianne, according to them.
I shake my head and continue on to reception where I find Onyx staring down at a lady half his size.
“What is going on here?” I say and they both turn to look at me.
“She won’t leave,” Onyx huffs.
“He didn’t hire me,” she throws back.
I look between them both. “Are you a legitimate company? No happy endings?” Jesus where’s my tact today? Maybe I’m more stressed than I realised. A massage kind of does sound good. I roll my shoulders back, trying to ease some tension.
She almost looks offended so I quickly offer an explanation. “I have to ask, sorry. My boyfriend likes to mix things up and play pranks, so I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“Sis, I would do no such thing,” Kalen says running up beside me, sliding into place next to me. The lady looks Kalen up and down, taking in his socks and boxers ensemble, and then nods sharply at me.
“There will be no happy endings,” she confirms.
“Okay, great,” I say looking around the room. Frost walks past and I call out to him. He reluctantly stops and walks over.
“Can you take them somewhere to set up, please? Maybe one of the board rooms?”
Frost nods and tells the woman to follow him.
“I’m hurt,” Kalen whines.
“Hmmm?” I ask, distracted as my phone beeps.
I pull it out and see a new email. Kalen has sent out a blast to all staff with a list of activities, and it says that everyone who participates willingly will get an early mark to go home.
I have never seen people move so fast, the seemingly empty reception starts to fill with people moving around.
“I feel like she only decided on no happy endings once she saw my body, and that’s just rude,” Kalen continues.
“Kalen, if anyone but me gives you a happy ending, I’ll kill them,” I remind him.
He immediately perks right up.
“Get dressed in your snow gear,” Kalen says as Onyx throws him a pointed look. “I texted Slate and Sawyer as well. We’re having a snowball fight.”
Onyx smirks, “You’re going down, you mean, brother.”
“It’s on like Donkey Kong,” Kalen throws back.
I personally couldn’t think of anything worse.
I hate the cold. It took way too long to get used to the weather here and snow is just not my idea of fun.
Thankfully we don’t get it that often, but still…
who wants to get cold and wet at work? Sure, we have showers and I keep several changes of clothes here, but it’s not like I can whinge about the cold when all of my employees are around.
Falon comes running out – thankfully dressed again unlike Kalen who happily stands around in his underwear and would do so all day, every day if I’d let him. Hell, just getting him to wear underwear was one of my first major challenges as boss.
Luckily I kept up my end of the bargain, a blow job for every day he wears pants to work, so he kept up his.
“Kalen, Adrianne said we can have a snowball fight! She said if I can smash you in the face with one, I can have whatever I want for dinner and stay up for an extra hour! Come on! Please?”
Kalen’s eyes light up at the challenge. “Oh, it is on, little man. You’d better start running now because the snowball that’s coming for you will be legendary.”
Falon lets out a shriek of pure excitement, spinning on his heel and bolting for the door. Kalen dashes after him in nothing but his socks and boxers, yelling, “Get ready to eat snow, sucker!”
I sigh, shaking my head as Adrianne saunters up, smug as ever. “You’re welcome,” she says, brushing non-existent lint from her sweater. “Sometimes you just have to weaponize the little ones to get what you want.”
“Diabolical,” I mutter, but I can’t hide my grin.
Adrianne smirks back. “By the way, Cap just volunteered to help me build a snowman, so…you know. I’ll try not to make it awkward.”
“I bet,” I deadpan, heading toward the door. “I’m going to make sure Kalen doesn’t traumatize the kid.”
Adrianne waves me off, already turning to find Cap, no doubt ready to tease him mercilessly.
Outside, the chaos has begun. Kalen is half-buried in a snowbank, cackling like a maniac as Falon pelts him with snowballs, rapid-fire.
Onyx stands nearby, rolling an unnervingly large snowball, his expression calm and calculating as if preparing for a sneak attack.
Across the courtyard, Slate and Sawyer are emerging from a black SUV, both wrapped up in heavy coats and scarves.
“Snowball fight?” Slate calls out, grinning as he spots the scene.
“You know it!” Kalen shouts back, shaking snow from his hair. He grabs a handful of snow and fires a perfect shot at Falon, who dodges just in time.
Sawyer claps his gloved hands together, already rolling up his sleeves. “Looks like we got here just in time.”
I cross my arms, trying to fend off the chill creeping into my bones. The snow crunches underfoot as I step closer to the fray. “Kalen, please tell me you’re planning to wear something more than boxers for this.”
“Don’t ruin the vibe, sis!” he calls back, but thankfully Onyx tosses him a pair of snow pants. “Fine, fine. Buzzkill.”
It isn’t long before a full-blown war breaks out.
Snowballs fly in every direction – Falon teaming up with Slate to take down Kalen, while Sawyer and Onyx work together to build some sort of strategic snow fortress.
Even Adrianne gets roped in when Cap dares her to join, resulting in her shoving a snowball directly into his face with no remorse.
I retreat to the sidelines, shaking my head at the chaos. The sound of laughter and mock threats fills the air, and despite the cold, I feel a surprising warmth in my chest.
“Enjoying the show?” a voice rumbles behind me. I turn to find Kalen, now fully dressed for winter warfare, standing with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“Surprisingly, yes,” I admit. “Though I’d enjoy it more from a distance. Preferably with a hot drink.”
Kalen grins. “Speaking of which…” He gestures toward the far corner of the courtyard, where a sleek wooden hot tub has been set up, complete with steam rising into the chilly air.
“Merry Stress Awareness Day. I hired it for us. Well, for you, me, and the boys. I’m going to send everyone home early and then we can really relax. ”
I gape at him. “You hired a hot tub?”
“Sure did. Thought we’d end the day on a high note. Snowball fights are fun, but relaxing in a hot tub with you? That’s the real win.”
I stare at the bubbling water, then back at Kalen’s smug face. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And yet, you love me anyway.”
I can’t argue with that.