5
From the near lack of empty desks in the classroom, it appeared that Knox and I were that last few to show up.
Not surprising considering our absence of hurry after leaving the office.
Normally I'd be worried about being some of the last to walk into the classroom - worried about all the eyes that would surly dart to me.
That worry didn't come though, and apparently there was no reason for it to.
Even though Knox and I had arrived on the brink of being late, the rest of the class were still taking to their seats, fussing with their notebooks and pencils and laptops, and from the noise encasing the room, still in the midsts of conversation.
Not a single glance could be spared in our direction.
Knox didn't pause in the doorway for longer than a split second before veering off to the back of the room with me still being tugged along with him. There were only two seats left in the back row - two seats that shared the same table just as it was for every other table in the classroom.
I gulped, licking my dry lips as my eyes flitted around the room.
I had yet to actually see my new schedule, Knox having taken it right away even though he already knew what it was since it had now matched his own.
The desks gave me some clue as to what the class was but I hadn't truly known until my eyes found the papers that hung all around the room - Art.
Reaching the two seats, Knox took the aisle which left me the chair directly next to the wall.
Now sitting down, I released a tense breath.
Nobody to my right, only Knox to my left, and a girl in front of me.
The tight grip of my chest eased, quickly being replaced with the hope that maybe I could actually focus this time around.
I wiped my sweaty palms off on my skirt just as my new teacher took to gathering our attention.
"Good morning, all. Like I told you yesterday, since it is only the first week of school, we will not be starting any projects as of yet.
.." she paused, giving a knowing smile before continuing.
"That doesn't mean we won't be working, of course.
New to practicing art or not, I want you all to get comfortable with allowing your mind to take creative reign. "
I chewed on the bottom lip, my leg bouncing as I listened.
I was not particularly "new to art" as she had phrased it but that didn't mean I was very skilled at art either.
I enjoyed painting the most out of any other medium - finding the vivid colors, textures, and softness of the stroke of a paint brush to be soothing.
I wasn't specifically good at painting anything to a realistic degree. I more so enjoyed a mild interpretation of the basic elements. I hadn't found the inspiration to paint in months though. Not after what had happened.
I almost jerked in my seat, surprised once my teacher's voice found my ears again, "Each of you should have a blank piece of paper on the desk in front of you and I trust you all brought your own pencil to use.
If you did not, I do have some spares that I would like back before you leave.
We'll be doing this for the rest of class and you are to finish the assignment for homework.
Don't worry about it being perfect, I just want to measure where each of you are at individually.
Go ahead and start." She smiled before turning around to sit back down at her own desk.
I looked around the room and saw everyone either digging in their backpacks for a pencil or already reaching for their paper. My face blanched, embarrassed I had zone out long enough to almost entirely miss what we were supposed to be drawing in the first place.
I glanced over at Knox only to find him already looking at me, his body slightly turned slightly in my direction with a pencil already in his grasp. The slight pull of a knowing smile on his lips told me he must have understood the look of confusion on my face - he was just waiting for me to ask.
"W-what are we drawing?" I asked, my voice just above a whisper.
"A portrait of each other." Knox replied without hesitation, his head tilting to the side as he continued to study my face.
My lips parted in an 'o' as I sucked in a sharp breath.
Already being this close to Knox and in his constant presence since arriving at school had felt like enough of a challenge.
But to have him staring - no, studying my face so as to recreate it on his paper?
That felt way more intimate than holding on to the lining of his t-shirt.
"Don't wanna draw me, Annie?" Knox quirked a brow, almost challenging me.
My heart leaped to my throat, almost making me choke on the air I couldn't breath. Knox was still a boy. An intimidating boy who had hands that could easily hurt me - hands that could crush me in an instant. And yet, he also had a heart that had only chosen to help me so far.
I would remain wary but being wary of him didn't mean not returning the kindness he had only been showing me so far.
"N-no. I mean -" I shook my head and sighed, attempting to start my sentence over. "I mean I have no problem drawing you." I looked down at my paper, trying to fight the blush that was threatening to overtake my face.
"Good cause it'd be real mean if you didn't want to draw me." Knox said, a ghost of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.
"Mean?" My eyes snapped back to his as I furrowed my brow in confusion.
"Exactly. Wouldn't wanna break my heart, would you, Annie?" Knox asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
I shook my head, swallowing hard.
"Good girl." Knox praised lowly.
My eyes widened and I turned back to my blank paper, trying to distract myself from the tingle that shot down my spine. Knox's soft chuckle filled my ears, sending the same sensation shooting through my body that I would pretend to ignore yet again.
The rest of the class consisted of silent drawing.
Knox studying my face far more than I was willing to study his.
I could only bring myself to peek at him for a handful of seconds at a time, half of which lasted only as long as it took him to look back at me again, leaving me unable to bare the eye contact.
The bell ringing had me quickly stuffing the paper and my pencil back in my bag and standing up to latch onto Knox once again.
I felt more stiff this time, the moment between us still hung awkwardly in the air. Maybe Knox didn't feel it since he didn't bother to acknowledge it, but I sure felt it. Now with his back to me, I found my eyes looking over him far more often than they had during the entire class period.
I again was not sure what our next class was or even where we were going. We had waited, like last time, until most of the hallway had cleared out before we made our way.
My head was in the clouds, lost too deep in thought.
My eyes were shifting back and forth between Knox's back and the hallway in front of us.
I was probably looking between the two too quickly.
Maybe I should've been looking at my feet instead - in fact, I know that's exactly what I should have been doing.
Instead, my untied shoe went unnoticed just long enough that I tripped right over it. I stumbled, letting go of the hem of Knox's shirt before landing right in the middle of the hallway on my hands and knees. I whimpered, a bunch of my hair falling in front of my face from the impact.
Tears were already completely clouding my vision when two hands found their way under my arms, lifting me back up and onto my feet.
I slightly stumbled again, my knees gone weak from hitting the hard ground. I was pulled into a strong chest, one arm wrapping around my waist while the palm of a hand held my head against their chest.
Knox's voice met my ears with a soothing, gentle 'shh.' I could feel myself shaking with quiet cries. My bottom lip wobbled uncontrollably as I pulled my head back and looked at Knox's blurry outline.
"I wanna go home." I whined, beginning to hiccup as I tried to repress the sobs that threatened to come out.
"I know, baby. Let's get you home." Knox whispered, trying his best the wipe the tears coating my cheeks with the pad of his thumb.
Serena picked me up from the office an hour later.
Knox waited in the seat next to mine the entire time, his arm resting over the top of my chair.
Occasionally he paused the gentle twirling of a few strands of my hair, leaning over to whisper words of comfort - mainly whenever he noticed my eyes getting misty again.
Serena drove me home in silence just like the day before, only less tense. I had made it farther than yesterday and she made sure to reassure that she was proud of me before she left to go back to work - unable to work from home a second day out of the week.
I immediately changed into pajamas and wrapped myself in blankets on the couch, turning on my comfort movie, Lilo and Stitch, in order to calm myself down.
I was still sniffling an hour and 25 minutes later when the credits were rolling and I realized I hadn't been paying a lick of attention the entire time.
The sting of my knees had been barely noticeable now and there weren't any visible scrapes.
It was more so the mortification of not only the fact that I fell, but that I fell in the middle of the hallway and only steps behind Knox.
Not that I thought he was really judging me and not that I should have cared regardless but it was hard to pretend not to care.
I gripped my hair at the roots, tears of frustration surfacing again. I was so sick and tired of crying all the time. I was sick and tired of constantly letting everything get to me. And yet, I couldn't stop it either.
Dropping my hands, I tried to calm my breathing.
Looking at the now black screen of the tv, I thought back to the boy who had done nothing but help me.
The boy who not only made sure he could get me to my classes safely, but also who witnessed multiple of my breakdowns.
Not only witnessed these breakdowns but who helped me get through them instead of making fun of me.
Knox may have not wanted my thanks but I couldn't allow myself to not express my gratitude in some way.
Looking to my right, mind and heart still racing, I tossed my blanket aside and entered the kitchen with my mind made up.