Chapter Eight
Rory
Friday, April 24
RORY HAD MADE the most of the cramped, closet-sized office the engineering department had given him as part of his payment for the two courses he taught.
He’d placed his desk so that he could look at the beautiful garden below, covered in red, yellow, and white roses.
A bookshelf sat against one wall filled with books on basic engineering and texts he needed for more advanced courses. He’d even managed to fit a small table and chair opposite the bookshelf for meeting with students. Like his home, it was well organized and neat.
Rory stood, stretched, and walked down the empty hall to the staff room for a cup of tea.
While his water boiled, he idly wondered if someone had left any cookies or snacks lying around.
He opened the fridge to find it empty except for a sports drink, leftover cake, and a few lunch boxes.
A clearing throat from behind him stopped his search through the cupboards.
“Mr. Sinclair.”
Rory turned around. Dr. Yosef Sanchez, the department chair, stood in the doorway. Dr. Sanchez was a short man in his mid-fifties who’d opted to shave his head rather than show his bald spot.
“Oh, hello, Dr. Sanchez, I was just looking for a snack to go with my tea,” Rory said.
“No one is around, you can call me Yosef,” he said. “I think Dr. Montgomery leaves his cookies in the cupboard next to the fridge in the box labeled ginger root.”
“Thank you.” Rory found the box, took a few cookies, and replaced it. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Well, it’s about your application,” Dr. Sanchez said.
“From when I applied for graduate school?”
“Yes, and we’ve decided to take another look at it.”
Rory’s heart stopped. He’d received his acceptance letter six years ago. Were they going to revoke his diploma now? He was so close. Wouldn’t they have pulled it before now if they were going to? What had happened? Six years of research and work down the drain. No one would hire him. Would he be able to apply to another school? He couldn’t do another six years of graduate school.
“Oh, is something wrong?” Sweat built up on his face. He swiped at it with a paper towel from the roll.
“Nothing bad,” Yosef said. “We want to meet with you to interview for an adjunct position.”
“Wait, what?”
“You’ve been teaching the lower division courses for three years now. You have the experience and education needed to be successful.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“We’d like to meet you on Monday to discuss it,” Yosef said. “But if you feel it’s not for you, I completely understand.”
“Thank you, sir. I’d be happy to meet you on Monday.”
“Well, enjoy your cookies and tea.” He turned around. “Oh, and don’t work too hard. Those papers will still be there next week.”
Rory sat at the small breakroom table and had his snack. It was five, so no one except the janitors and the few professors who taught evening classes were in the building. The sweet chocolate cookies mixed well with the tea. Rory always enjoyed tea and cookies with his mother.
“I would like to share this quiet time with someone special.” The words slipped out. He imagined Bernard here, having tea with him.
Rory returned to his office and pored over papers. His students impressed him with their grasp of his lessons.
“I thought I’d find you here.” A voice came from the door.
Rory turned around.
“Oh, hey, Sophia,” he said.
“I see you’re hard at work as usual.”
“The end of the semester is coming, and I have to make sure all my grading is caught up so when I give the final, I can grade them and be done with it.”
“Sounds like fun.” She smiled.
She had a beautiful smile. Sophia treated him with kindness. It was like having a little sister. Their relationship couldn’t be any other way.
“So, we’re going out tonight,” she said. “I know you don’t usually go out with us. But I wanted to ask anyway.”
Dr. Sanchez’s words echoed in his mind. He needed to relax and enjoy some time away from work.
“That actually sounds like fun,” he said. “I’d love to go.”
“Really?” Her eyes widened and she grinned. “That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, I should get out of the house and this office once in a while.”
“Fantastic, we’ll meet you at Shaffers at six-thirty?”
“I’ll be there.” He smiled.
“Great, see you there,” she said, turning to go and sounding genuinely happy he would be going with them.
In the three years working with the team, Rory had been out with them only once or twice. They meant well and he needed to get over the age gap. There was no reason they couldn’t hang out.
*
RORY WALKED INTO Shaffers at a quarter till seven. Patrons occupied every table. He tried to find his colleagues, but too many people blocked his path.
“We’re over here.” Davi’s voice rang out.
Davi stood near a table. He waved his arms to get Rory’s attention.
“Sorry I’m late,” Rory said, sitting between Jeff and Sophia.
“We’re just glad you’re here,” Jeff said.
“Where’s Nicolas?” Rory asked.
“Oh, he’s at the bar getting a drink,” Sophia said.
Rory ordered appetizers for the table and a gin and tonic for himself.
“It’s nice that you finally decided to hang out,” Davi said. “We like hanging out with you.”
“Thank you,” Rory said. “I’m just not used to going out.”
“Well, you should try it more often.” Davi smiled.
Davi was genuine and honest. He had soft hair—a fact Rory only knew because he had the team touch it when he changed shampoo. Rory’s fingers had slid right through the strands. While not as large as Rory, he had a robust build.
“I’m going to get another drink, this round’s on me,” Rory said. “What would you all like?”
Sophia ordered a tequila sunrise, Jeff ordered a whiskey and coke, and Davi ordered a vodka soda.
Rory stood at the bar as the bartender made the drinks.
“Bartender, a Sex on the Beach,” a man demanded.
“Just a moment, sir, I’m getting drinks for this gentleman,” the bartender said.
“Oh, hello there.” The man spoke in a condescending tone. Rory ignored him. “I said hello,” he said. “I’m Chance.”
“Sorry, I just want to get my drinks and get back to my friends,” Rory said.
“Well, I’m sure they won’t miss you too much.”
Rory turned to him. Platinum-blond hair, dancer’s frame, and eyeliner accentuating his blue eyes.
“What?” Rory asked.
“You’re adorable. Why don’t we get back to my place?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not into guys.”
“No one says no to Chance.” Chance winked at him.
“Well, I’m saying no because I’m not interested in men.” Rory turned back to the bartender.
“Why are the ugly ones so picky?” Chance said.
“What did you say to my friend?” Nicolas appeared next to Rory.
“Who are you and why do you care?” Chance said.
“I care because that’s my friend you just insulted.” Nicolas twisted his hands into fists.
“I was just leaving,” Chance said.
“Right, get your drink and go. No need to linger here,” Nicolas said. His face reddened with each word. He’d never looked this angry.
Rory and Nicolas made it back to the rest with the drinks.
“Wow, Nicolas. You’re scary,” Rory said.
“I’m not going to stand around while some asshole insults my friends.”
His friends. Nicolas thought of Rory as a friend. He smiled. His colleagues over the last three years viewed him as a friend. Why didn’t he spend more time with them? He’d have built strong friendships with amazing people.
Rory told the others what happened at the bar.
“Why would he assume you’re gay and interested?” Sophia asked.
“I honestly think he didn’t care,” Rory said. “I told him I wasn’t interested, and he said everyone is interested in him.”
“You’re out of his league anyway,” Nicolas said.
“What?” Rory laughed.
“I mean, if you were interested in men, you could do better than some wannabe like him.”
“I agree,” Davi said. “You’re a bright, sweet, wonderful man. You need someone who isn’t as two-dimensional as a guy who literally asks someone to go home with them without even knowing their name.”
“It was kinda gross to watch,” Nicolas admitted.
“I’ve never had anyone flirt with me before,” Rory said. “I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t call what he was doing flirting,” Nicolas said. “He was trying to get into your pants.”
“Isn’t that a type of flirting?” Rory asked.
“I mean, it can be,” Jeff said. “But not if you’re interested in something more than a one-night stand.”
“What do I look for?”
Rory’s isolated existence under his parents showed. His colleagues showed support. They didn’t judge him on his lack of knowledge in social situations. They were teaching him. His body warmed. He had friends.
“Little things,” Sophia said. “A light touch, a smile at the right moment. You’ll know when it happens.”
“Thanks,” Rory said.
Had anyone ever flirted with him? A few young ladies from church giggled at his jokes. One brushed his arm. Were they flirting with him? Bernard came to mind. He and Bernard had been friends for years. Did Bernard flirt with him? Bernard was gay, but he wasn’t interested in Rory. Bernard couldn’t be interested in him. He liked guys that were… He stopped. Jason was larger than Bernard and Rory. He had short hair and a beard. Just a coincidence. What about Tracy? He was similar to Jason in size and build. They both had similar builds to him and Bernard. Bernard had used a word a few times to describe the men he was attracted to. Bears. Was he a bear? Would Bernard be attracted to him as well?
“I saw Dr. Sanchez leave the staff room right before you,” Sophia said. “Did you talk to him?”
Rory came back to the present.
“Um, he wants to interview me on Monday for an adjunct professor position.”
“What? That’s amazing,” Sophia said.
“Congratulations, man,” Nicolas said.
“You’ll do great,” Jeff said.
“Thanks, I’m a little nervous though.”
“It’ll be great.” Nicolas held up his glass. “To Rory.”
Everyone cheered for Rory. Rory’s face warmed at the attention. His friends cheered for his success. He’d never had many friends outside the church aside from a few in his high school group. His parents didn’t know he spent time with anyone other than members of the church.
They finished up their drinks and said their goodbyes.
*
THAT NIGHT RORY lay in bed. His friends—yes, he could call them that now—thought he deserved love. They treated him with kindness and respect. They hoped for his success in everything he did. He wanted love. Could he have feelings for Bernard? No, he couldn’t, because he couldn’t be gay.
Why couldn’t I be? My religion says so, but Bernard’s gay. I love him, and I don’t condemn him for it. Why am I condemning myself for these feelings? How do I know what is real and what is just sinful lust?