Chapter Twenty
Rory
Saturday, July 18
RORY PULLED INTO Bernard’s driveway at a quarter to ten on Saturday. It was their first official date, and excitement filled every part of him. A date with his best friend, the man he should have asked out years ago.
He had a spring in his step as he made his way to the door. He took a breath and knocked.
“Good morning,” Bernard said.
His warm smile eased the knot in Rory’s stomach.
“Good morning, are you ready for our…our date?” Rory’s cheeks warmed at the words.
“I’m ready. What do you have planned?”
“Well, I thought we could start with mini golf at that little place in San Jose, then we could grab lunch.”
“I think this is going to be the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“That’s not all,” Rory said. “I have tickets to a show, then we can complete the evening with dinner, and then I’ll bring you home.”
“Are you expecting a goodnight kiss?” Bernard giggled.
“Let’s see how the evening goes, and then we can decide.”
He yearned to kiss Bernard and feel his warm, soft lips pressed against his own.
They headed to Casey’s Mini Golf Extravaganza. Neither of them was good at mini golf. They kept hitting the side of objects or past the hole.
Rory stumbled along the path, and Bernard caught him, laughing.
“Hey, move along and make out somewhere else.” A husky voice came from behind them.
They both looked over to see a man with two children by his side.
Rory turned to Bernard. He had the same look he had when the guy told them to stop hugging in the park back in April.
“Bernard,” he whispered. “Leave it. He didn’t say anything offensive. He has children with him.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.”
Bernard didn’t confront the man, which Rory appreciated. He’d only ever seen Bernard angry a few times, and each time it was because someone directed hate toward him. He kept Bernard calm, which brought a smile to his face. Bernard respected him enough to not cause a scene, and it was endearing.
Rory won the game by two points.
“That last shot was lucky,” Bernard said as they sat down for lunch.
“Maybe I’m just really good,” Rory laughed.
Rory chose a cozy diner for lunch. He got a club sandwich with chips and soda, and Bernard ordered a burger, fries, and a root beer.
“I’m having a wonderful time,” Bernard said.
“I’m so happy to hear that. I was pretty nervous.”
Rory bowed his head. He couldn’t look Bernard in the eyes.
Bernard reached across the table and placed his hand over his. Bernard’s touch warmed his heart.
“It’s okay to be nervous,” Bernard said. “I’m still nervous. It’s been so long since I’ve had a date.”
“I’ve never had an actual date.”
“I know, and I know you’re scared of what might happen. That’s okay. I’m here with you. I like being with you.”
Rory smiled. “I like being with you too.”
They ate and discussed what they wanted for their futures. While they’d been friends for years, they never discussed what the other looked for in someone they wanted to date.
“I looked for someone like you,” Bernard said. “I think I always wanted to be with someone who cared about me as much as you do.”
“You did?”
“Yes. You’ve always been sweet, caring, compassionate, and a wonderful friend. What more could I ask for in a partner?”
The answer took him aback. Bernard wanted someone like him as a partner. He’d never imagined he’d be someone’s type, and here his best friend told him he was worthy of being his partner.
“I never truly understood my feelings,” Rory said. “The church made me reject my feelings. Now that I’m here with you, I don’t feel that it’s wrong. You are the one I’ve wanted to be with, always.”
“We are here now, and I’ll never let you go again.”
Rory searched Bernard’s eyes as they held hands. He was honest, protective, and a kind and patient man. This was what he’d waited for.
They finished lunch and headed to the theater. They shuffled in for the two o’clock matinee.
It was a large theater, and he’d got tickets in the third row.
“How did you get tickets so close to the front?”
“Jeff’s uncle owns the theater. He holds on to tickets in the first few rows. I asked about them right after you said yes and got tickets for the show.”
“That was so sweet of you.”
They watched Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The performance captivated Rory. He was never interested in theater, but Bernard liked stage plays in high school, and hoped he still enjoyed them.
“That was a wonderful play,” Bernard said as they moved with the crowd.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“Didn’t you like it?”
“I was never interested in stage plays, but this performance was amazing. I need to go to the theater with you more often,” Rory said.
“If you didn’t think you’d enjoy it, why did you get tickets?”
“Because you like them.”
Bernard wrapped his arms around Rory. The pressure took the air out of his lungs.
“That is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.”
Bernard pulled away and looked at Rory. Tears formed in Bernard’s eyes.
“I’m glad I could make you smile.”
“You are the most wonderful person in the world.”
“Thank you.”
*
RORY DROVE THEM to a little restaurant, Café Des Amis. It was in downtown San Jose, and parking was a nightmare.
“This looks fancy,” Bernard said.
“I made reservations.”
“I’m going to guess one of your grad friends has an in?”
“Yes. Nicolas’s mom runs it.”
“Look at you, using connections to impress me. How sweet.”
“I wanted tonight to be special, so I called in a few favors.”
“That makes me feel special.”
They sat down to eat. They both ordered the special, chicken cordon bleu. Rory ordered a glass of wine, while Bernard selected iced tea.
“Hello, gentlemen.” A tall woman approached the table. She’d tied her blonde hair in a bun on the back of her head.
Rory had met Nicolas’s mom a few times. She was a wonderful woman.
“Hello, Mrs. Dubois,” Rory said.
“Hello, Rory.” She held out her hand. “It is nice to see you again.” She had a thick French accent.
Nicolas’s parents moved to the States in the seventies, just before Nicolas was born. They both came from wealthy families, which allowed them comfort in their new homeland. Despite their wealth, they were kind and giving people. They donated to multiple charities.
“Who is this handsome friend of yours?”
“This is my date, Bernard,” he said. “Bernard, this is Nicolas’s mom, Mrs. Dubois.”
“Enough formalities,” she said. “Call me Marie.”
Bernard took her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Marie.”
“Are you gentlemen enjoying your meal?”
“Yes, it’s amazing,” Rory said.
“It’s fantastic,” Bernard said.
“That is wonderful to hear.”
“I have a question about the restaurant’s name,” Bernard said.
“You want to know why I chose it.”
Bernard nodded.
“Me and a friend opened this restaurant twenty years ago. The name translates to friends’ cafe. She has since passed, but I held on to the name.”
“That is so sweet of you,” Bernard said.
“Merci. Well, if you need anything, please let your server know and I will make it happen.”
“Thank you,” they both said.
They finished their dinner, leaving nothing on their plate.
“Want to get dessert?” Rory asked.
“Let’s see what they have.”
Rory decided on cherry clafoutis, and Bernard ordered a chocolate mousse.
Rory savored the decadent dessert. He wanted the recipe and would ask Nicolas if Marie would share it. It could be a guarded secret, but there was no harm in asking.
“I need to tell you something, Bernard,” Rory said. His hands shook. He forced himself to calm his breathing.
“What is it?”
“I want to tell you the real reason I didn’t talk to you for six years.”
“You were in grad school. I understand.”
“No, it’s more than that.”
Rory’s vision blurred as he took in Bernard’s features. He was so handsome. His smile, his dimple, and his brown eyes behind those blue-rimmed glasses.
“What is it?” Bernard placed a hand on Rory’s shaking one. “You can tell me anything.”
“I…my feelings for you were growing stronger,” he said, “and I didn’t know how to deal with them. After what Jason did to you, I knew you deserved better. I was so angry that the men you dated treated you so horribly, that you deserved better. I thought I could be better for you. That scared me, and I was afraid if I stayed, I’d do something that I’d regret. So, I broke contact hoping those feelings would go away.”
“Since we’re here, I’m guessing the feelings didn’t go away.”
“No.” Rory shook his head. “When I saw you at your dad’s house, the feelings came flooding back. I thought I could suppress them and be friends, but I wanted more. It took my friends to convince me to ask you out.”
“I’m glad they did,” Bernard said. “I’d thought about you for a long time.”
“I still can’t believe you thought of me so much.” Rory smiled.
Rory stared into Bernard’s eyes. So many wasted years. If he’d asked him out when he realized his feelings, Bernard wouldn’t have gone through those horrible relationships. Rory hated Jason and Tracy for what they did to him. They were heartless, and if he ever saw either of them again, he didn’t know if he could hold back.
“We’re here now, and that’s what matters,” Bernard said, squeezing his hand where it rested on the table.
Once they’d finished dessert, Rory paid, and they headed back to Gilroy.
“I hope you’ve enjoyed the day with me,” Rory said, getting out of the car.
He walked over and opened Bernard’s door for him.
“Thank you.” Bernard got out of the car.
Bernard placed his hand in Rory’s as they walked up to the porch. Anxiety filled his heart. He was going to kiss Bernard.
“I had a wonderful time,” Bernard said.
“I don’t want this night to end.”
Rory looked into Bernard’s eyes. His glasses magnified the golden specks in his brown eyes.
“Well, it’s the first night of many, I hope.”
“I know it will be the first night of so many nights together. I don’t want to be apart from you again.”
“I want you in my life. Closer than a friend,” Bernard said.
They stood on Bernard’s porch. The light illuminated their faces. Rory looked into Bernard’s eyes. He was handsome. He reached out to take both of Bernard’s hands in his.
“I’m so glad you said yes when I asked you out,” Rory said. “I was afraid you’d say no. Because I didn’t know if I’d be the right guy for you.”
“I am so glad you asked me out,” Bernard said. “You are the perfect guy for me.”
Rory leaned in, Bernard’s warm breath on his face.
“What in God’s name are you doing?” A shrill voice echoed in the cul-de-sac.
Rory jolted away from Bernard and turned to the street. Standing there in her church clothes stood his mother. Her face twisted in disgust at the sight of them.
“Mother, why are you here?” There was no reason for her to show up at Bernard’s. He didn’t even know if she knew where he lived.
“When you didn’t come to service, I got worried,” she said. “So, I checked at your place and you weren’t there.”
She stormed up the steps to face Rory.
“I figured you must have come to his house.” She pointed at Bernard. “Mr. Silva told me where he lived.”
“Mother, I…”
“I don’t want to hear it. You get home right now and we’re going to have a talk.”
“With all due respect, Mrs. Sinclair,” Bernard said. “Rory is a grown man and can make his own decisions.”
“Like you did, you faggot!” she yelled.
Rory winced at the word.
“You have filled his head with indecent ideas and thoughts of perversion,” she said.
“Mother, please,” Rory begged, tears of humiliation filling his eyes. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I want this piece of garbage to know what he’s done to you,” she spat. “He’s corrupted you into thinking you’re a queer like him.”
“Excuse me?” Bernard stood at his full height. “Rory asked me out.”
“My son would never do something like this on his own!”
“I asked him out, Mother,” Rory said.
“He must have tricked you.” She grabbed his hand. “Now, let’s go before he tricks you into something more sinister than a kiss.”
“You have no right, you controlling bitch,” Bernard said.
Rory and his mother looked at him. Bernard’s hands covered his mouth and his eyes went wide.
“You can’t talk to my mother that way.” Heat rose through Rory’s body. He balled his hands into fists. “Despite what she does, she’s my mother and I won’t allow anyone to talk to her that way.”
“I…I…” Bernard sputtered.
“Maybe I was wrong,” Rory said. “Maybe you’re not the man I thought you were.”
Rory allowed his mother to lead him down the stairs. He turned to see tears streaming down Bernard’s face.
“Rory, I’m sorry,” Bernard choked. “I shouldn’t have…I want to be with you.”
“It doesn’t matter what a pervert like you wants,” his mother said. “Your kind is an abomination who preys on the weak. My son is better off not knowing you.”
Rory turned and walked to his car in silence.
He made it home before his mother, and he sat on his couch.
His mother entered, a soft expression on her face.
“Oh, poor dear,” she said. “I can’t believe he said those awful things about me.”
There was no sign of his father. Did his father know what his mother did? He encouraged him to be himself. Did he not approve of him being gay? Did Rory misunderstand?
“I’ve never heard him talk like that before,” Rory said.
“Well, that’s what sinful people do.” She sat down next to him. “They trick you, and their true colors show when you confront them.”
Rory leaned against his mother. “I thought I loved him.”
“I know you did, dear.” She rubbed his hair. “That’s what he wanted you to think.”
Rory cried in his mother’s arms.
“You get some sleep, and we’ll see you at service in the morning.”
She kissed him on the head and stood. She walked to one of his surfaces and ran a finger across it, then rubbed her index and thumb together.
“Maybe you should do some cleaning,” she said. “That might take your mind off of everything.” She closed the door behind her. Rory was alone.
He lay on the couch. Tears streamed down his face. Conflict battled in his mind. His mother had called Bernard a faggot. A horrible thing to call someone. Would she call him one too? Bernard called her a bitch, but it was in retaliation to what she’d said.
He curled up tighter. Mina jumped to his face and licked his tears.
“Thank you, baby girl.”
She curled up on his side as he cried himself to sleep, unsure of what to do.