Thirty-Two
Leah
R ome:His arm’s broken. He’s going to stay in the hospital for a couple days while they monitor his concussion and prior loss of vision. All the rest of the damage is minimal.
I let out a relieved sigh.
They’d finally confirmed his identity in the news, and it made it all the more real knowing he was okay. The plane crash itself was still under investigation, with unconfirmed reports suggesting a bird strike had caused the engine to fail. But what was even rarer than that was that the auxiliary power breaker failed too, and shit like that didn’t just happen.
It was meant to be, I guess.
And I’m not the kind of person to believe in fate like I used to, but to me, it happened for a reason.
The reason that brought me to this point in time.
“You’ll need to shut that off, Miss.”
I looked up from the phone and at the flight attendant’s polite smile.
Why was she smiling?
Didn’t she know about the freaking crash that’d just taken place at the damn destination we were off to? And then, all at once, it hit me. God, we were going to die . This plane was going to crash, and I’d never get to tell Carter I was sorry. But then… maybe he’d know I’d come to say it because I’d jumped on a plane to see him.
My death then wouldn’t be completely pointless, right?
Melanie took my phone out of my hand and turned it off for me. “It’s okay,” she whispered to me. “This is your first time flying, and after this, you’ll never be scared to do it again.”
She then offered me the puke bag and I eagerly snatched it from her. My anxiety roared inside of me, making my stomach churn.
We’re going to die.
“Just think, you’ll see Carter and this will all be worth it.”
“Unless he rejects me,” I retorted, breathing heavily.
“Not unless you grovel.”
“It doesn’t matter if I grovel or not. It might be too late. That Panda Bear girl is probably at his bedside right this very second.”
“She’s not with him,” Melanie stressed. “Rome said so.”
I froze. “You’re talking to Rome again ?”
“Not for any other reason than to make sure Carter and you are alright.”
“That’s the lamest excuse ever.”
She didn’t respond to that. “Just relax and be cool. Take-off is going to be bumpy, but it’s going to be smooth sailing after that. Except for when we land because that shit’s bumpy too. Oh, and if we, you know, hit some turbulence, that is also bumpy. And if—”
“Okay,” I interrupted her. “I get it. It’s going to be bumpy.”
I rested my back against the seat as the plane finally began moving.
It was too late to turn back. I’d already taken time off work. I was going to see him, no matter what.
Or die.
“Okay, Leah,” Mel said, “hold my hand. We’re close.”
I held her hand and shut my eyes.
If he rejected me, I wasn’t going to take a plane back home, I decided stubbornly.
It was going to be on a fucking boat.
*
“What are you doing here?” I asked tiredly after opening my eyes.
Carter was in my room in the dead of night, and he’d been pacing in it, running a ragged hand through his hair over and over again.
He seemed startled that I’d said something. He went still, and while I couldn’t see his eyes from this distance, I sensed he was staring at me. “Couldn’t sleep,” he said quietly.
“How come?” I wondered, turning on my side to look at him.
“A lot on my mind.”
“Care to share?”
He took a few steps forward, stopping at the edge of my bed. I felt his hand at my leg, squeezing it. “I…” I heard him take a few breaths, and he seemed…off.
“You what, Carter?” I asked, feeling warmed by his sweet touch. God, this man undid me.
“I have to say something,” he told me.
I hummed when he squeezed my leg again, my tired muscles loosening after a day working at the bar. The bed sank as he sat down, his body turned in my direction, peering down at me. I looked up at him, smiling softly. “You want to turn the light on, Carter?”
“I have to say it in the dark,” he murmured.
Now I waited patiently as he continued to run a hand over me. His fingers were in my hair and now I was shutting my eyes, enjoying all this attention.
“Leah,” he breathed. “I…”
“You what?” I asked again, already feeling my pulse quicken.
I heard him swallow hard, and this time I looked at him closely because…there was something wrong. He seemed nervous, maybe even afraid.
“I…” He took more breaths. “Fuck, Leah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why am I not normal? Why can’t I just tell you I…?”
I sat up now, concerned for him. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it back. “It’s okay, Carter. It’s okay.” I pulled him to me then. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“Apologize?” he repeated.
“You didn’t mean to be stern with me this morning, and I shouldn’t have pushed—”
“What are you talking about?”
I stopped pulling him to look at him. “You got shitty when I pushed you to accept the invitation at the concert they’re throwing by the gardens. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just want the world to hear your voice—”
“No, I know,” he cut in. “I know, Angel. I’m not…I wasn’t…I didn’t mean to be snippy.”
“I know.”
“You believe in me so damn much—”
“Of course—”
“I don’t want to let you down.”
I gave his hand a kiss. “Never.”
I felt his stare on me for a few minutes. I wondered… “So, you wanted to apologize, is that why you’re here?”
His voice sounded flat, even sad. “Yeah…”
I tugged him to me again, and the second he was close enough to kiss, I took his lips against my own, feeling my heart flutter at the groan he sent down my throat. “You can make it up to me,” I whispered, grinning.
His smile was faint as he peered into my eyes. “One day, Leah…”
“One day what, Carter?”
“One day I’ll tell you…”
I didn’t care what he would tell me one day. I wanted his mouth on me everywhere.
He climbed over top of me, I welcomed him in, and the conversation ended. Our clothes hit the floor with haste; he moved between my legs, and I was home .