Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ADONIS
Atticus
Have any of you seen Dem this week?
Eros
Nope. His bed has been empty every morning.
Atticus
Dammit. Where is he?
Eros
Must have found one hell of a hookup.
Adonis
I don’t recall the last time I saw him. Did he get a girlfriend?
Demetrius
Fuck you, man. No girlfriend. Sleeping at the station. Been on call.
Eros
Since when are you on call for a week straight?
Demetrius
It happens sometimes.
Atticus
At least check in so we know you’re fine.
Demetrius
Okay, Dad.
I ’ve avoided Clover for over a week. She’s tried to stop me several times in the hallway or after class to talk, but I’ve given her an excuse every time as to why I can’t.
I’m still pissed at her for hiding her family connection with Dr. Carver from me. Something about it feels off, though I can’t pinpoint what.
I don’t know if it’s because Lulu’s cheating broke my trust in women or if it’s my gut warning me. Either way, I don’t understand why no one told me about Dr. Carver’s connection to her family. They’re not just connected in a professional capacity. They’re friends.
To add to my anxiety and frustration, I just received a call from Dr. Carver to come to his office. It has me nervous because it’s not something he’s ever done since I started. If he needed to talk to with, he always sent emails to schedule an appointment.
I stop just outside the main office and clench my hands into fists. I need to relieve some of the tension building inside me. I hate impromptu meetings. Especially when they’re with my boss.
When I open the door, the receptionist looks up at me and smiles. “Hello, Dr. Rosi. Dr. Carver is waiting for you. Go right in.”
“Thank you.” I nod as I pass her. When I reach his office door, I give it a light knock.
“Come in,” he calls out.
I pause and take a deep breath before I open the door. “You wanted to see me, sir?”
“Yes, please sit.” He points to the small table in the corner of his office and pushes to his feet. I take one of the empty chairs and wait for him as he grabs a folder.
“Thanks for coming to see me on such short notice,” he says as he sits down opposite me.
“It’s no problem. You caught me a good time.”
“We got the results back from the grant submittal and I wanted to update you on the decision personally.”
My hands instantly sweat, and my heart rate kicks up several notches. I only thought I was nervous on my way to his office. Now my anxiety is almost blinding. Please let this be good news.
“I didn’t expect to get an answer so soon,” I say.
He gives me a smile, and that puts me a little more at ease. “Relax, Adonis. It’s good news.” He opens the folder he sets down and hands me a letter. “They selected your proposal. Congrats on being awarded an early career grant. It’s not every year that they select someone from our department.”
“Seriously?” I grab the letter and scan it quickly. The smile that spreads across my face hurts. “I can’t believe it.”
“It was a great proposal. This is well deserved.”
“Thank you, sir. I couldn’t have done this without your help.”
“Nonsense.” He waves off my compliment. “All I did was provide some input. You did all the heavy lifting.”
“And I can use this to fund Clover instead of the department assistantship, correct?”
“Yes. I’ve already started the paperwork to have her transferred over. This will look better for her too.”
I stare at the letter for several more seconds, reading over it several times. I wasn’t expecting this. For the first time in weeks—maybe even months—I’m truly happy.
Despite that joy, Dr. Carver’s connection to Clover’s family is still nagging at me.
I look up to find he’s smiling at me. “You’re allowed to be happy,” he says.
I nod. “I know. It’s just … Can I ask you a question about Clover?”
“Sure.” He frowns. “Is there a problem?”
“No, I’m just curious why she left Harvard.”
He sighs and looks down at his hands rather than meeting my eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“She’s a very intelligent woman with great critical thinking skills. I don’t understand why she’d leave Harvard to come here.” He nods but doesn’t say anything when I pause. I wait several seconds for him to jump in, but he doesn’t.
“Leaving Harvard couldn’t have been an easy decision. A Harvard education would boost Clover’s career options more than here. It’s a curious change to make.”
“Have you asked her?”
I shake my head. “I thought about it, but I didn’t want to upset her if the reasons were too personal. When I saw you having lunch with her and her father, I thought maybe you knew.”
“I see.” He sits back in his chair and relaxes. “Kevin and I go way back.”
“And you accepted Clover into the program because of your longstanding relationship with her dad.” It’s not a question. I’m stating a fact.
“Partly, yes.” He adjusts in his chair like my questions have made him uncomfortable. “Accepting Clover mid-year was a favor to a friend. But I assure you, she’s bright and capable. Friends or not, I never would have accepted her if she wasn’t worthy of being here. Trust me when I say we’re lucky to have her.”
“I believe that, but I still don’t understand.”
“Listen,” he leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I’m not one to discuss the personal lives of my faculty or students. She had her reasons. If you want to know more than that, you’ll have to ask her yourself. It’s her story to tell.”
I nod and think about his words for a moment. I know Clover is a brilliant student with amazing potential. No one can deny that. But no matter how I rationalize it, I can’t make sense of it.
“Just tell me I have nothing to worry about. I don’t want anything hindering my career advancement.”
He smiles. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Your career is off to a great start.”
Dr. Carver’s reassurances did nothing to ease my concerns. I need to know more about why she left Harvard. I believe he was honest with me about what he told me, but I there’s more to her story.
And whatever it is, it’s not good.
I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time until I reach the third floor. I rarely come up here. There’s a common area with a few tables, a refrigerator and a microwave. A few students are gathered around one table discussing an exam they just took. Other than that, the floor is empty.
I make my way down the hallway until I reach their office. The door is ajar, and I can hear Maggie’s voice. I hesitate, rethinking my plans to approach Clover. If I go in there, Maggie will latch herself to me.
Scolding myself for allowing this girl to get to me, I open the door. “Clover, can I see you in my office?”
Both girls turn to me with surprised expressions.
“Dr. Rosi.” Maggie’s face quickly morphs into a smile. “How can I help you?”
“I need to speak with Clover.” I shift my gaze across the room to where Clover is sitting. The sun is coming through the window, causing the pink tips of her hair to look brighter. She’s glowing.
My cock throbs and I feel it getting hard. I shift, making sure my jacket is covering my crotch. The last thing I need is someone reporting me for indecent conduct.
“Um, yeah,” Clover hesitates to say. “Can you give me five minutes?”
I nod. “I’ll be in my office.”
I start to leave, but Maggie reaches out and grabs my arm. I furrow my brows. She quickly lets go. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” I say a little too harshly. I expect her to look upset, but I get the opposite reaction from her. Instead, she looks angry. I don’t dwell on it. That won’t accomplish anything.
I rush down the hallway and head straight for my office. I’ve got way too much nervous energy to sit down and try to work, so I pace my office while I wait.
My pacing makes the minutes tick by much slower than reality. My mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts about this woman. And none of them are good.
“Dr. Rosi,” her timid voice calls from my office doorway.
I turn around to find her staring at me with confusion. I can’t say I blame her. My anxiety is at an all-time high and my thoughts are entering dangerous territory.
“Why did you leave Harvard?” I blurt out.
She furrows her brows. “What?”
I charge her, take her by the hand, and pull her into my office. Once she’s inside, I shut my door. “I want to know why you left Harvard.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Oh, I think it is.” I step toward her, and she takes several steps back until she bumps into the wall. “I’m your faculty advisor. If something happened at Harvard that could affect my career, I deserve to know.”
Anger washes over her face. “Don’t worry about your precious career, Dr. Rosi. My leaving Harvard was voluntary and personal.”
“It doesn’t feel right,” I say. I take another step toward her. I’m close enough now that my chest is almost touching hers. “I don’t want to be a part of whatever favor Dr. Carver owes your dad.”
She slams her fists against my chest. I expect her to shove me away, but she wraps her fingers around the edge of my vests and tugs me closer. “Dr. Carver doesn’t owe my dad anything. They’re just old friends.”
I shake my head. “There’s more to it than that.”
“So what if there is?” she says through gritted teeth. “It’s none of your business.”
I lean down closer to her until my lips are almost touching hers. “What if I want it to be my business?”
Her eyes widen, and I feel her chest rise and fall. “Sir … we can’t.”
I lift my hand and run a finger along her jawline. She closes her eyes and tilts her head to the side. I lean in closer and take a deep breath. Her scent of spicy vanilla overwhelms me.
“Please,” I whisper in her ear. “I need to know.”
“No, you don’t.”
I bite down on her neck just hard enough to cause her pain without leaving a mark. She whimpers and melts into me the same ways she did at the nightclub and the park.
“Goddammit. I want to punish you.”
“Mmmhmm.” She rotates her head until our eyes meet. “How would you punish me, sir?”
My body lights up and a burning sensation tingles through my veins at how she calls me sir. “For starters, I’d bend you over my knee and spank your bare ass.”
Her lips tick up into a faint smile. “I’d love to see you try.”
I growl. “Stop teasing me.”
“Never. You like it too much.” She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and bites down. It makes my cock throb.
I run my thumb over her lip until she releases it. Then I shove my thumb into her mouth. “If you want something to suck on, I can help you with that.”
Her eyes light up with excitement. Then she opens her mouth wider and sucks my thumb as far into her mouth as it will go.
My cock is so hard it feels like it’s going to burst through my pants. I rotate my hips and press my erection into her so she can feel the effect she’s having on me. Her eyes fall shut, and she sucks harder on my thumb.
“Fuck.” I know I should pull away. Put that minimum four-foot distance between us that she insisted we must maintain. But I can’t get my legs to move.
Instead, I do something stupid, and I run my other hand under her shirt—letting my fingers lightly brush across her skin—and cup her breasts. It causes her to sigh and press her core closer.
I burn for this woman. Any sense of logic and reason I possess has vanished. All that exists in this moment is her and my desire to make her mine. To claim her, mark her, and ruin her forever.
I pull my thumb from her mouth and run my hand around her neck. Fisting her hair, I tug her head back to expose her neck to me. She has such a beautiful neck. So kissable.
“Sir.” There’s a hint of begging behind how she says that, and it makes me growl. “Oh, God.”
I press my nose into the delicate skin just above her collarbone. She smells like heaven and everything I’ve ever wanted in life. When my lips brush against her skin, she stiffens.
“Dr. Rosi.” The way she says my name sounds pained. “We can’t.”
Those two words are like a rushing river of cold water drowning me and this desire I have for her. I immediately release her and step back.
“Shit,” I whisper as I take in her disheveled state. Her hair looks like she was caught in a wind tunnel, her shirt is pushed up over her chest, and her skirt is crooked.
Her eyes roam down my body and fixate on the bulge between my legs. She stares at my erection so long that I swear it grows even harder for this woman.
“Eyes up here, minx.” I growl. Her eyes snap back to mine. I see the same burning need reflected at me that I feel tearing me up inside.
“I should have left,” she says.
“Explain,” I say. Her words confuse. I’m not sure which moment in our relationship she’s referring to.
“When I first met you here. In your office. I should have left and never come back.” She straightens and adjusts her clothes until she’s put right again. Then she runs her fingers through her hair. I can’t stop staring at the pink tips, wishing it were my fingers putting her locks back in place.
“Why? Does it have something to do with what happened at Harvard?” I press. I may burn for this woman, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still need answers.
Her expression hardens. “No. You’re my advisor. We can’t be intimate.”
While that’s true, I can’t let this nagging feeling in my gut go. There’s so much more to this woman. “It’s more than that.”
“Let it go!” She yells, and it causes me to stumble back a step. “It’s personal, and not something I want to discuss with you. Or anyone, for that matter.”
Our eyes lock. We’re both breathing hard and struggling to maintain this distance between us. She’s angry with me—maybe even a little hurt—but that’s not enough to squash the desire I see dancing in her warm brown gaze.
“Please,” she begs as her eyes glass over. A tear breaks free and something inside me cracks. Taking a few steps closer, I lift my hand and wipe the tear away.
“You should go,” I say.
She nods and then presses her hand into my chest. I’ve blocked her against the wall again.
Stepping aside, I fall against the wall beside her. She takes a few short breaths and straightens before she steps into the center of my office. I feel her eyes on me, but I don’t look up. If I do, I’ll charge her again. I’m not sure I can stop myself if I get too close.
I don’t know how long she stands there watching me before she slips out of my office door and vanishes.
When the door clicks shut behind her, I slide to the floor. This is a disaster. Every ounce of my body hurts with need for that woman.
A woman I can’t have.
A woman I don’t trust.
A woman who could destroy my career if the wrong person finds out what we’ve already done.
I’ve no clue how I’m going to survive another two years with her as my student.