Chapter 20
A loud alarm woke me up before the sun. The red neon numbers on the hotel clock read 6:15 A.M. I groaned as Ben leaned over me, pressing a kiss behind my ear as he grabbed his phone.
“Why so early?” I groaned as he shut off his alarm and pulled me back against him.
“I set the alarm before dinner last night. How was I to know you’d keep me up half the night?”
“I hope you don’t expect me to run this morning.”
“Trust me, I have no plans of getting out of this bed a second before we have to.” He placed kisses along my shoulder and neck. “But I am open to some other forms of cardio.”
Ben nipped a small bite where my neck and shoulder met, and I arched back into him, finding him already hard. I reached my hand behind his neck, encouraging the attentions while pressing myself more firmly against him. He ran his hand over my hip and between my legs, finding me as ready as he was.
“Is this all for me, Juliana?” He positioned himself at my entrance and pushed inside.
This time was slow and patient, both of us savoring each roll of his hips. Neither of us lasted long, already pushed close to the edge by waking up in each other’s arms. We found our release together, both crying out as we came.
“I guess I can delete our battle log.” I smiled dreamily as Ben absentmindedly ran his fingers back and forth over my hip and the curve of my waist.
“Battle log?”
“I may have kept track of every argument we got into, so I knew who was winning.”
Ben let out a laugh loud enough to wake the entire floor, and I threw my hands over his mouth to shush him.
“I need to see this log of yours. I don’t trust for one second it’s fair to me.” His whole body shook with laughter.
“Of course it is,” I replied indignantly. “A stolen victory is no victory at all.”
“Fine. Then give me an example of when I won.”
“Okay.” I thought through the list. I reread my own victories, not his. “Remember when you ‘replied all’ on an email to point out my typo?”
“I told you I was trying to clear it up! The typo changed what the sentence was saying.”
“But you didn’t need to reply to the entire email chain! You were trying to get a rise out of me.”
“It wasn’t my intention, but I wasn’t disappointed when you burst into my office, all flushed and bothered. You’re so sexy when you’re worked up. I was grateful we had the desk in between us to keep me from doing something you’d have slapped me for.” He tugged me closer, burying his face in my neck as he kissed his way to my ear. “I promise never to point out a typo again.”
“All’s forgiven.” I sighed as he continued his trek back down and across my collarbone. “Plus, I got back at you.”
He pulled back and narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”
“Remember when all your presentation slides were out of order at the all-staff meeting? I was pissed, so I went into the shared drive and moved them all around.”
“You brat.” He pinned me beneath him, tickling me and making me howl with laughter. I wiggled my way out from under him and bolted to the bathroom before he could haul me back to the bed.
“Wow, that’s a pretty sight in the morning.” Dark makeup coated my eyes. I tried to wash it off as best I could with water, but I needed my makeup remover from my room to fix the problem. “I need to head back to my room to get ready for today.”
Ben slipped out of the bed naked and walked over to me without a hint of self-consciousness, though I’m sure I’d never be self-conscious if I looked like him. He swept my dress off the floor, and I wondered how a man as large as him moved with such grace. He planted a soft kiss on my lips as he handed me my dress.
“You even look beautiful as a raccoon.” His tone was serious, but his eyes were lit with mischief.
“Watch yourself. I have a lot more power over you now.”
He laughed as I pushed him back. “Believe me, I’ve been under your power since the minute you slammed into my chest.”
I shook my head as I put my dress back on, but I pulled him in for one last, quick kiss before slipping out of the room.
“I’ll see you in an hour,” he called down the hallway after me, and I waved him off while laughing.
Quinn met us at eight in the morning to show us to our interview room, helping us reorganize it the way we wanted before our first interview. She promised to come back to take us to lunch, this time at an actual restaurant. I had organized daily packets with the student’s résumés and copies of our interview questions where we could take notes.
The day passed in a blur. Ben asked the more technical questions, while I handled the standard interview ones, us instinctively playing off each other. I was thankful for my obsessive note-taking habit so I could remember each of the students when we met them all again tomorrow to make the offers and give interview feedback.
By the time we finished the interviews at six, we were both exhausted and overwhelmed. We would have to pick six from over twenty students. I knew my standouts, but with Ben’s greater understanding of the work, I planned to follow his lead. As we gathered our papers and laptops, my phone pinged.
Mom: Are you two done with work for the day? The girls thought it would be nice to have a video call during dinner and pretend like you were here.
I smiled and turned my screen to Ben, whose face lit up at the suggestion. He told me about a popular burger place nearby that would be relaxed enough for us to set up a laptop there.
Juliana: Give us 15 minutes. We’re packing up and are going to head to a restaurant. We’ll call you all from there. Tell the girls we can’t wait!
We explained to the hostess at the front desk what we were hoping to do. She smiled widely, especially at Ben, I noticed with an eye roll, and led us to a secluded booth at the back of the restaurant. He slid in beside me so the girls could see both of us, fiddling with his computer on the table to make sure we were both visible before hitting CALL.
Our table burst with noise as my mom accepted the call. We both laughed and dove for the volume to show a bit of respect for the other patrons. A few people glanced over at us, but no one seemed too bothered.
“Hi, girlies. How are you doing?” Ben greeted them, and we shared a small smile.
Clara and Sophie jumped into stories, talking over each other and scowling at the other. I laughed and cut them off. “Since you are both so rude, I’m going to make you wait and let Paris go first.”
Paris’s shy smile tugged at my heart. “I’m good, Miss Juliana. I miss you, Daddy, but it’s been really fun with Miss Sue and Mr. Brian.”
Our waitress walked up to our table before doing a double take at the computer. I glanced at her name tag.
“I’m so sorry, Joan. Our kids are at home in Orlando while we’re here for work and wanted to have dinner with us. Do you mind?”
She smiled and nodded. “I have grandkids the same age. Not a problem at all.”
“Everyone, say hi to Joan,” Ben said, which was met with a chorus of hellos. She beamed at them before taking our order and heading off.
The dinner passed too quickly. All three girls talked about their school week. Paris spoke up more with some encouragement from Ben. I worried it might be hard for her to compete with my loud and domineering girls, but I realized she was happy to observe, hopping in with hilarious comments when least expected. The meal felt natural and comfortable, and at one point Ben took my hand underneath the table, giving it a squeeze that said See what we could be?
We wished the girls good night as we finished up. We gestured to Joan for the check and waited to close out.
“You two have your hands full at home, don’t you? I can’t imagine three so close in age, but it’s nice to see you two still smitten after all of that.” She winked and walked off before we could correct her.
Ben didn’t budge as I slid down the bench, gathering me in his arms instead. “For the record, I am smitten.”
He kissed me, then tugged me out of the booth. We took our time heading back, winding through the streets of Boston. He pointed out important spots from his childhood, the private school he attended near his house, the bench where he kissed a girl for the first time, the bookshop where he bought items on his school reading list, and it was like walking back into his past and meeting young Ben.
His arm was slung over my shoulder, and I snuggled in as we walked. He smiled down at me, his eyes saying things he knew I wasn’t ready to hear yet.
“It’s because of the cold. Don’t go getting a big head.”
We used my hotel room this time, me explaining that one night without my face wash and toothbrush was more than enough. He hopped into his room to grab his toiletries and clothes for tomorrow, both of us knowing he wouldn’t be going back to his room.
Two hours and several rounds later, we were both lying in my bed, me positioned between his legs, my back to his chest. We needed to talk, but what I needed to say could ruin everything. The words rushed out of me, barely coherent, but he heard them all the same.
“I don’t want to tell anyone about this when we get home.” His body tensed behind me.
“I thought you said you were sure.”
His frustration laced every clipped word and clenched every muscle. I turned to look at him and found him studying something across the room.
“Ben, please look at me.” He took another beat before turning back to me, his dark eyes shuttered. “I am sure. I want to do this. But two months ago, we were at each other’s throats.” He huffed a laugh at that. “It’s complicated. I’m about to get promoted at work, and even though there aren’t any company rules against it, I don’t want anyone thinking my relationship with the VP of architecture gave me a leg up on the job.
“As for our kids, don’t you think it’s better to make sure we can work in an actual relationship before we bring them in? What if we realize, as much as we feel for each other now, we don’t work as a couple? Sophie and Paris will start calling each other sisters the second we tell them. And I don’t know how Clara will respond. She worshipped Jason, and this will be a big change for her.
“I’m not asking to hide forever. I’m just asking for some time for us to explore who we are together before bringing in all the complications.”
Ben nodded and planted a soft kiss on my lips, turning me around and pulling my back against his chest. “Tell me about him.”
I knew he meant Jason without him saying more, and my stomach flipped. “I don’t know. Doesn’t it seem wrong to you?”
He tilted my head so he could meet my eyes. “If you aren’t ready to share him with me, I understand. But if you’re worried I’ll feel awkward talking about someone you love, I promise I won’t. I want all of you, and he’s a part of that. I don’t expect us to pretend he never existed. And if we work, and I’m confident we will, I’ll never expect you to stop talking about your kids’ dad.”
The tears I had been fighting broke free, and he wiped them from my cheeks. I settled back into the comfort of his arms, not able to look at him for the next part.
“I was eighteen and starting at the University of Florida. It was move-in day, and I was lugging box after box from my car into my dorm. I had taken way more than I needed, but I couldn’t imagine parting with any of it for the school year.
“It was like a movie. I tripped, and the box flew out of my hands, spilling the stuff inside all over the lobby. A boy, because we really were kids, came rushing over to help me pick it all up. I was so embarrassed, and he was so cute I could hardly form a sentence. He gave me his number and told me he could show me around campus if I wanted. He was a year older, working as an RA in one of the boys’ halls, but I was way too embarrassed and shy to call him.”
Ben’s chuckle reverberated through my back. “’Shy’ isn’t a word I’d use to describe you.”
I smirked over my shoulder, pressing a quick peck to his cheek. “That’s because you didn’t know me at eighteen.”
“Would eighteen-year-old Juliana have dropped a full cup of coffee in her colleague’s trash can after he was a dick?” he asked.
A laugh burst out of me. “God, no. I’d have been much more easily managed seventeen years ago.”
“Thank god, I get you now, then.” He kissed me deeply and settled me back against his chest. “Finish your story.”
I sighed. “A week later, he saw me in the dining hall. He walked right over with this confident smile. I was with a group of girls from my hall, and I remember them all fluffing their hair in excitement, practically climbing over each other to introduce themselves. But he only wanted to talk to me. He asked if he could take me out the next night, and we never looked back.”
“I can respect a man who knows what he wants when he sees it,” Ben said, his smile curving against my cheek.
“We got married young, engaged at the end of my senior year, and married a year after I graduated. I remember everyone rolling their eyes, telling us we were too young to know what we wanted in life. But we had been together for five years and were ready to start our life together. He was an amazing partner. I remember in our first year of marriage he told me any fight we had should be us against the problem, not us against each other.
“I know it’s a cliché, but he was my best friend. We grew up together, learned what we wanted in life together, and I never thought I’d have to figure out life without him.”
The tears continued to stream down my face, the familiar tightness in my chest eased by the arms wrapped around me.
“You were lucky to have each other. Whenever you want to talk about him, do it. You’re not gonna scare me off.”
I turned in his arms, shimmying my way up into his lap and giving him a long kiss.
“Thank you,” I said. He smiled softly and kissed each cheek before wiping away my tears. “Do you want to talk about your ex-wife?” I asked. “She is a part of you, too.”
Ben sighed, brushing my hair off my face with a gentle hand.
“It was a very different relationship from yours. Steph was beautiful and bright and fun, so excited about living life, and it was addictive. But she never seemed settled. She was constantly looking for the next thing, never satisfied. And she was so flaky. I should have known from the beginning she wouldn’t stick around, not that I would trade Paris for anything.
“She thought she deserved a big, epic life, and being a mom in the suburbs outside of Orlando didn’t line up with her vision of herself in Paris or New York. I don’t fault her for not being happy in our relationship. I don’t even fault her for wanting to move somewhere else. But she didn’t have to leave the way she did. She disappeared without a word and left Paris behind with issues she will have to fight her entire life.
“I’ve spent so long being mad at her, and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive what she did to my daughter, but right here, in this moment, I am grateful. She gave me the most important thing in my world, and now I am free to have you, too.”
I held his gaze, moving forward slowly to capture his lips in a soft kiss. It quickly progressed, both of us saying with our bodies how thankful we were for this chance to be together.
The next day flew by, a blur of emotions. Excitement and gratitude from the students selected. Disappointment—even some tears—from those we didn’t pick. Ben’s hand found mine under the table during each rejection, like he knew the stab of guilt was too much. I normally didn’t have to see this part of the recruitment process.
We had lunch with Quinn again, the two of us trading numbers after her casual questions somehow had me confessing I had no idea what I was going to do with the student sessions this summer—something I hadn’t even admitted to myself. She promised to send me some ideas and brainstorm with me once I was back home.
It was a long day, followed by a longer night of Ben and I wrapped up in each other. Before I knew it, we were waking up together on Friday morning, preparing to burst out of our bubble. I’d just gotten out of the shower, enjoying both the plush robes provided and the beautiful view of the square from our window. Ben walked up behind me, tugging at the robe’s sash.
“This is one of my favorite views of Boston. But I think I’m about to make it better.”
He slipped the robe off my shoulders, leaving me bare. The buildings across the square were shorter, and I was confident no one could see. Instead of covering myself like I normally would have, I stayed where I was and looked over my shoulder at him.
“Did that help?”
“Best damn view in the world.” He shed his own robe, pushing his body up behind me and capturing my lips in a kiss. He slipped his hand between my legs, hissing at the wetness he found there.
He spun me around, hoisting me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. The contrast between the cold window at my back and Ben’s warm body against my front made me shiver, and we both moaned as he pushed inside of me. My head thunk ed back against the glass as a swirl of sensations rushed through me.
He spun me back around, my hands braced on the pane. We enjoyed each other then, a slow and thorough exploration of each other’s bodies, looking out over the city that made Ben into the person he was, and enjoying the last few moments of our relationship with zero complications.
A little while later, we were flying toward the airport in our cab, ready, or at least forced, to face reality. “Just so we’re clear, keeping this quiet doesn’t apply to Asia, right?”
“Oh god, no! I texted her Wednesday morning when I went back to my hotel room to get ready.” We both laughed as I showed him the string of celebratory emojis and GIFs she had sent in response.
“We could also tell my parents if you are okay with it. I know they loved having all three girls this week. They may be open to watching the girls overnight every couple of weeks so we can get some time together.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I’m happy to tell anyone you want to, baby.”
We spent the rest of the trip home cuddled up, soaking up the last moments before our relationship got infinitely more complicated. We got a steady stream of texts from our friends.
Asia wanted to know how things were going between us.
Dani and Gabriela messaged back and forth about plans once I was home.
Quinn wished us safe travels.
Each text felt like another poke at our bubble. We were nearing the security exit back in Orlando when Ben tugged me to the side, tangling his hand in my hair and kissing me deeply. I melted into him, savoring how perfectly his lips molded against mine.
“What was that for?” I asked, a little breathlessly. His mischievous smile set me on fire as much as the kiss had.
“The kids are on the other side of the gate. I wanted how perfectly we fit together to be fresh in your mind when you freak out about how we’re going to make this work.”
I rolled my eyes but gave him one more long kiss before pushing off the wall.
We heard cheers and squeals when we walked through the exit. Before we could turn to the sound, we were both set upon by little heathens trying to claw their way up our bodies and wrapping themselves around us. My parents stood to the side, watching lovingly as my daughters again launched into stories about their week, and Paris stood by with a radiant smile, arms wrapped tightly around Ben.
Our eyes met over the heads of the girls, smiling brightly. We had a lot to figure out, but we were both so happy to be home.