5. Easton
Chapter 5
Easton
I grip the sink on either side and hang my head. I don’t know how I'm going to do this. No clue at all.
How do I stand by and try to get Taylor back on her feet when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and kiss her breathless?
It’s all I’ve ever wanted. All I’ve ever dreamed of. But Jack wouldn’t allow that. He didn’t want to lose her to me.
The memory of the day everything changed slams into me and I feel like I'm experiencing it all over again.
“What do you mean you like her?” He follows me out the front door and into the garage. He’s driving me crazy. I need something to do that doesn’t involve punching Jack in the face. That would probably upset my mother.
“Was that sentence confusing to you? I like her, Jack. I want to ask her out. ”
“You can't ask her out!” He slams the door and whirls around to face me. He’s so angry and I don’t even know why.
He’s always been protective of Taylor, but he didn’t act like he was harboring a secret crush on her, so why does he care? He knows I’d never do anything to hurt her. She means too much to me.
“Why not?” I glare at him. I don’t like fighting with my brother, but I'm not backing down from this. I’ve been in love with Taylor for years. I'm tired of standing by. I want to ask her out before some other guy does and I lose my shot.
It’s only a matter of time before one of the stupid jocks at school realizes how amazing she is. I don’t want them to swoop in and steal her before I have a chance to ask her out myself.
“Because she’s my best friend!” Jack roars. He tries to shove me, but I step out of the way. I'm not going to fight him. This is stupid.
“So? She’d still spend all of her time here.”
“Yes, but she’d be spending it with you! Not me!” He motions wildly to me like I don’t know who he’s talking about.
“So, what? I’m just supposed to pretend I feel nothing for her because you don’t want to share Taylor with me? She’s not a toy, Jack!”
“I know she’s not a toy,” he hisses. “But she’s mine and I don’t want you to have her.”
I stare at him in disbelief. He can't be serious right now.
“I don’t think you really have a say in that. She doesn’t belong to you.” I fold my arms over my chest and stare him down .
Jack doesn’t do well when he doesn’t get his way. Everything is always a competition for him. It doesn’t matter if the other person doesn’t want to participate, he still wants to win.
It’s been this way since we were little. If I came home with a good grade, he needed to make sure he scored higher on his next test. If I made it on the varsity team when I was a sophomore, he made sure to make varsity when he was a freshman. I never wanted to compete with my brother, but he made sure I didn’t have a say in the matter.
“We’ll see about that.” He flings the door open, letting it bounce off the wall. Tools tumble from their spots on the peg board and clatter to the ground.
I let out a long sigh and bend down to start picking them up as Jack stomps across the yard, straight for Taylor’s house.
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be Jack. I wouldn’t say he gets things handed to him, but he has an easier time than I do. He knows exactly how to charm people and get his way… Most of the time. His charm doesn’t work on me though. I know the type of man he tries to hide from others.
He’s always the center of attention no matter who’s around and it’s something I’ve learned to deal with. It’s fine, it’s just who Jack is. Am I jealous I don’t have the same sort of charm? A little, but I don’t want everyone paying attention to me. I only need one girl to see me.
Once everything is picked up and put back into their places, I step out into the afternoon sun and pause in my tracks .
Taylor is sitting on the porch swing with Jack next to her. His hand is clasping hers and there’s barely any space between their bodies.
He wouldn’t… Would he?
I slowly make my way across the yard and climb the three steps to the porch. I stuff my hands in my pockets so I don’t punch my brother in the face and lean my shoulder against the pillar.
“What’s going on?” I keep my tone steady and try to pretend like I don’t know what’s happening.
Taylor glances up at me with a big smile on her plump lips. Her eyes are sparkling with excitement and I know whatever she tells me next is going to break my heart.
“Jack just asked me to be his girlfriend!” Taylor squeals. “Isn't that great?”
“Yeah, sounds amazing,” I say, my voice completely void of emotion. “Well, I’ll see you later, Tay.”
I push off of the pillar and only get one step towards the front door when Taylor’s voice stops me.
“Easton? What’s wrong?” The concern in her voice almost breaks me. Jack doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have her. I don’t even think he wants to date her; he just doesn’t want to lose her to me.
I peek at her over my shoulder, wishing things could be different. Now that she’s dating him, she’ll never give me a chance. It doesn’t matter if we’d be perfect together. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been in love with her for years. Jack got to her first and ruined everything.
I don’t know what I'm going to do. Can I really continue hanging out with them and pretend it doesn’t bother me? Can I stand by and watch them kiss and hold hands when I know she should be doing those things with me, not Jack?
I clench my jaw so hard it hurts, but it’s the only way I can keep from lashing out right now. Jack’s a jerk and he knows it.
“Nothing, Tay. Everything is normal.”
My gaze flickers towards Jack, wondering if he understands my double meaning. As normal, Jack got what he wanted. He won.
His smile slips for a moment and his brows draw together, but neither one of us says a word. He’s realizing he screwed up, but he can't break up with her. If he thought me asking Taylor out would take her away from him, what does he think will happen if he breaks up with her?
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the memory. I'm not sure if I’ll ever forgive Jack for stealing the only woman I’ve ever loved. He could’ve had anyone he wanted, but he had to go after the one woman I’ve shown interest in.
Turning on the cold knob, I splash my face with icy water, trying my hardest to pull myself away from the past. There’s nothing I can do about it now.
No matter how much I’d love to have Taylor in my arms every night for the rest of my life, she was only there because she had a bad dream and I need to remember that.
She’ll never look at me the way she looked at Jack. She’ll never fling herself into my arms and press her lips against mine.
But when she started running her fingers through my hair and over my body, for a second there, I could pretend she was mine. And it felt perfect. Right. Like it was always meant to be.
Twisting off the water, I dry my face on one of the small hand towels Taylor has hanging next to the sink and flip off the light. I don’t bother checking on Taylor, I need some space for a few seconds. A chance to get my head on straight and remember what my position is in her life.
I'm grabbing drinks for both of us when there’s a knock on the door. I pull open the door as I'm fishing my wallet out of my pocket.
“Holy crap,” someone mutters under their breath. I glance up to find the delivery girl’s gaze locked on me.
“Um… Excuse me?” My brows furrow as I take her in.
She’s probably in her late teens. She’s cute, though way too young for me. But she’s staring at me like a lion eyeing their next meal. I shift uncomfortably, noticing way too late that I'm not wearing a shirt.
“You might be the hottest man I’ve ever seen,” she blurts out. To her credit, I don’t think it was an accident, she doesn’t blush or anything once the words topple out of her mouth.
“Uh… Thanks? Sorry, I didn’t realize I wasn’t wearing a shirt. Let me go- ”
“I’d actually rather you didn’t.” She grins, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. “Most guys who answer the door shirtless look like they’re fifteen months pregnant. Just let me enjoy this.”
“Ok… How much do I owe you?” I flip open my wallet, trying to focus on anything other than the drooling woman in front of me.
“A date? Maybe two? That should cover it.” She blinks up at me.
“Yeah, I think sixty dollars should be more than enough.” I tug the bills out of my wallet and slap them in her hand before grabbing the bag of food and slamming the door in her face. “What the heck is wrong with people?” I mutter under my breath.
“You just gave her something to dream about for the rest of the night.” Taylor chuckles from her spot on the couch.
“Stop, she was like eighteen or nineteen.” I roll my eyes.
“And you’re twenty-three.” Taylor rolls her eyes right back at me. “It’s not that big of an age gap and women love age gap romances.”
“I'm not going to ask out the pizza delivery girl, Tay.”
“But she thinks you’re so hot, East! You’re going to break her little heart.”
“I don’t care,” I grumble under my breath.
“You’re not dating anyone. What’s the harm in taking her out for a date or two?” Taylor moves so she’s sitting on her knees and she’s bouncing in her seat.
I don’t want to talk about this, but this is the happiest I’ve seen her since Jack died. I almost want to let her keep teasing me, just so I can see her smile.
“Because I'm not interested in her,” I mumble as I grab two plates out of the cabinet and place them on the coffee table with the pizza, cheesesteak, fries, and drinks.
“Easton, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you interested in anyone!”
“I have been.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. Crap. She’s going to ask questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of it.
“Who? I’ve been your best friend since we were little and I’ve never seen you pining after a girl.”
“Because no one pines after anyone, Taylor. What are you, eighty?” I drop onto the couch, leaving space between us. I need to keep the walls in place between us because it’s way too easy to forget we can't be together when it’s only the two of us.
“C’mon, Easton. Tell me who you had a crush on.” She steeples her hands in front of her face and sticks out her bottom lip.
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just eat our food.”
“Of course it matters. Was it Melissa? Stacy? Heather? Oh, who else was pretty in high school?” She taps on her chin, trying to think back an entire decade.
“I’m not going to tell you, even if you do guess correctly. Though I really don’t think you’d ever guess who it is.”
“Well, that’s not fair. Why won't you tell me? ”
“Because it doesn’t matter, Tay. I can't have her anyway. I lost her a long time ago and she’ll always be just out of reach.”