Chapter 21
Suzanne quietly exited her car and locked it when Jen climbed from the passenger seat. She enjoyed these moments again, travelling around town with Jen. Life didn’t feel so lonely anymore. No, it felt exciting and hopeful. It felt…incredibly beautiful to be loved by Jen.
“Ready, babe?”
Suzanne smiled, feeling a little anxious about lunch. Jen had suggested a favourite restaurant of hers, then dropped the bomb that her mother worked there. “Yes. I’m ready.”
Jen quirked a brow, a slight smirk present. “You sure? You don’t look it.”
“Really, I’m sure.” Suzanne held out a hand when Jen rounded the front of her car, satisfied when she latched onto it. They’d been out together on so many occasions now, but this time felt different. Suzanne didn’t quite know why, but she was going to enjoy this afternoon since Jen had specifically dedicated it to them. “Does your mum know we’re coming here today?”
“Nope. Thought I’d surprise her. Although she’s likely to wring my neck the next time I see her for introducing you to one another while she’s not in her Sunday best.”
Suzanne laughed as they turned for the restaurant entrance. “Don’t worry. My mum was the same.”
“I think it’s funny, but she’ll still be mortified.” Jen winked as she tightened her grip on Suzanne’s hand. “But she’s going to love you. I know she is.”
Suzanne exhaled a deep breath. The anxiety swirling in her belly had just intensified. “Then I hope I don’t disappoint.”
“Nah. You couldn’t disappoint anyone if you tried.” Jen let go of Suzanne’s hand and instead placed her hand on the small of Suzanne’s back. “Come on. Let’s get some food. I’m starving now. Any fuel I gave myself this morning was quickly depleted.”
“Sorry about that.” Suzanne regarded Jen with a filthy smile. It was her fault that Jen was hungry all over again, but Suzanne wasn’t really sorry. If Jen needed refuelling, then Suzanne was clearly doing something right. “We had a lovely morning, though.”
“What can I say?” Jen lifted a shoulder as they entered the restaurant and waited to be seated. She nipped at Suzanne’s earlobe and whispered, “Making you come is my favourite activity.”
Oh, God . Suzanne shivered, gripping the wooden table that held the menus. “You have to stop that. Especially here when I’m about to meet your mother.”
“Maybe it’s time to test your self-control.” Suzanne was finding it painfully hard to concentrate now that Jen’s hand had slid to her backside. “Or maybe I’ll just tie you up tonight and see how long it takes you to beg me for more.”
Oh, my…
“I’ll see how I’m feeling later. Depends what I’m in the mood for.”
Suzanne lifted a brow as she looked over her shoulder at Jen. “You do realise I’ll punish you in return, don’t you?”
“Oh, I wasn’t planning to punish you,” Jen said, frowning. “But now that I know I’ll be punished, maybe I’ll tease a little longer.”
Suzanne cleared her throat when a server approached them. “Hi. Reservation for Dixon. Two people.”
“Perfect. If you’d like to follow me.” The server picked up several menus and walked away.
Suzanne and Jen followed, the atmosphere in here just perfect for a spontaneous lunch. Suzanne loved trying new places, and with Jen by her side, she loved it even more. As they took a seat, she watched Jen from across the table. “Gorgeous place.”
“Italian. Mum has worked here since Dad died, so over ten years now. She doesn’t need the work, but it keeps her busy, and I think she enjoys waiting on people. She’s forever doing it with me.”
Suzanne lay a hand over Jen’s. “I think that’s different, baby. You’re her daughter.”
Jen fisted a hand under her chin and gazed back at Suzanne. When Jen looked at her that way—an incredible amount of love pouring from her eyes—Suzanne could promise her forever. “She’s just that type of person. She wants to do everything for everyone.”
“Then she clearly has a good heart. Just like her daughter.”
“Aw. Thanks, babe. That’s a lovely thing to say.”
“It’s true. I’ve never met anyone who is so switched on. Even though you’ve been through a lot, you still see the positives in the world. It takes a strong character to put everything else aside and just live. At least, I believe it does.”
“I think coming out of prison taught me that I have a whole entire life ahead of me. Ruby doesn’t have that chance, but I do. I have to make the most of life for us both. It’s only right.”
“She would be proud of you.”
Jen lifted a shoulder. “She wouldn’t. She’d kick my arse. But all I can do now is move forward and do what I can to be a better person. Not that her mum would agree.”
Suzanne frowned. What did that mean? “Her mum? I remember you telling me that you’d tried to reach out, but it came to nothing.”
“Yeah. When you and I were…not together, I went to Ruby’s grave. Lyn turned up and basically told me what she thought of me. Said I’d ruined my life.” Jen cleared her throat. “She wasn’t wrong.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“I could have done with someone to talk to about it, but I only really have myself to blame.”
Suzanne regarded Jen with a sympathetic smile. She couldn’t imagine what Jen had gone through when Ruby passed away, but she equally knew it must have been hard for Ruby’s mother to see Jen ruining her life in some way. “I’m sorry. I do hope you can work it out in the future.”
“I’m kinda hoping that Lizzie and the girls will have some thoughts on it. We were all really close before Ruby died. I’m sure they still see or speak to Lyn. I just want to know if it can ever be salvaged. Lyn was another mother to me until I fucked it all up.”
Suzanne nodded, hoping Jen would consider her friendship group again. Knowing Jen did have friends out there who still cared about her warmed Suzanne. As for Suzanne’s brief worry when it came to Lizzie, well…Jen had reminded her of what they had this morning. She had no reason to be concerned. Not really. “I hope they can give you the advice you need.”
“Would you feel better if I didn’t see them?”
“What? No.” Suzanne needed Jen to do whatever she thought was best for her. “Why would you think that?”
“Honestly?” Jen lifted a brow. “I think it makes you feel uncomfortable when I mention Lizzie, and I don’t want you to feel that way. I’ll say hi in passing, but that’s all. I don’t want to do anything to harm what we have here. We’re only just getting it back, and I’m not prepared to risk it.”
“Baby, I have no problems with you seeing any of them. Lizzie included.” Suzanne lay a hand over Jen’s, disappointed if she’d given off that impression to Jen. “Hey, I love you, and I trust you. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay with it. Even though Lizzie is my friend, I understand if you’re wary because we were together at one time.”
“You’ve done nothing whatsoever for me to question your loyalty to me.” Suzanne squeezed Jen’s hand and then drew back. Her own stomach was beginning to rumble now. “If I had an issue, I’d tell you, okay?”
“Okay. Let’s enjoy lunch, yeah?” Jen picked up the menu and perused it. “The arancini is to die for, by the way.”
Noted. Suzanne loved all things Italian, and arancini was certainly right up her street.
And then she heard a gasp from the side of her. She looked up and to her left, instantly aware that Jen’s mum was about to join them. There was no denying the similarities.
“Jen! I didn’t know you were coming in today!”
Jen got to her feet and hugged her mum. “Hi, Mum. Thought I’d surprise you.”
“Well, you could have bloody warned me!”
Jen rolled her eyes as she turned to Suzanne. “Babe, this is my mum, Denise. Mum, this is Suzanne.”
“The woman my daughter is besotted with.” Denise leaned in and hugged Suzanne as she stood up. It was one of those strong embraces. Sometimes, you enjoyed it; other times, it felt as though the life was being squeezed right out of you. Denise’s was a bit of both, but it warmed Suzanne inside. “So lovely to meet you, Suzanne.”
“Likewise.” They pulled apart, but Denise still held Suzanne at arm’s length. “I was as surprised as you. Jen dropped it on us both.”
“Mm. She likes to do that sort of thing.” Denise eyed Jen, but then she winked. “Bagged yourself a bloody beauty here, didn’t you, love?”
“Mum.” Jen slid down in her seat. “Leave Suzanne alone and just take our order. You can tell me all about what you think the next time I’m home.”
“The next time you’re home?” Denise scoffed. “Does that mean I’m not going to see you for a few days?”
“Not sure yet. But you definitely won’t see me tonight. We’re having a night in with the TV and snacks.”
Were they? That was news to Suzanne. Still, it sounded perfect. Suzanne could take or leave nights out. She could enjoy a movie at the cinema, or she was equally as happy in the comfort of her own home. Right now, her heart was swelling purely because Jen wanted to have a night in with her. This day was certainly a huge improvement on dinner last night. Everything felt…normal.
“Well, that sounds perfect.” Denise took her pen and notepad from her jeans pocket and smiled. “What can I get you? I wouldn’t want to keep you too long.”
“We’re in no rush, Mum. I purposely decided to come at this time so we could all have coffee together when we’ve finished lunch.”
Denise grinned. “Wonderful. I’ll take your order, and then we can get this show on the road.”
Braced for whatever conversation was about to happen, Jen smiled at her mum as she took a seat at their table. Lunch had been great. Suzanne had repeatedly moaned as she took a forkful of food into her mouth, and now she couldn’t wait to get Suzanne alone. She had a feeling Suzanne knew exactly what she was doing—she had spent ten minutes erotically licking the tiramisu from her spoon, her eyes locked on Jen—but she could handle it. Suzanne was a whole lot of woman, but Jen was a whole lot of lesbian who would devour her the moment it was possible.
“How was lunch?” Denise asked as she kept her attention on Suzanne. “No problems?”
“None whatsoever. Lunch was great.”
Jen watched their interaction, not surprised by how easy Suzanne and Denise found it to strike up a conversation. Her mum had always been easy-going, and Suzanne was hardly introverted.
“Jen says you live over in the Belmont area.” Denise added sugar to her coffee, then sipped. “Must be very fancy over there. It was back in the day.”
“It’s…a home. I don’t pay much attention to the area or my neighbours. Some of them can be a little intense, as I found out when I foolishly added myself to the neighbourhood group chat.”
“Mm. I can imagine.” Denise turned her attention to Jen. “I hope you don’t try to be someone else when you’re over that side of town, my love. You’re perfect as you are.”
“Me? Be someone else? I don’t think I could do that even if I tried.” Jen had always maintained that someone’s personality and compassion made them who they were. It didn’t matter what car you drove or how much you had in your bank account. Everyone went into the same ground when the time came to depart this sometimes dreadful earth. “And anyway, I’m used to being over that side. I spent enough time there when I was a kid with Ruby.”
“That’s a fair point.” Denise nodded. “So, what plans do you have now? Doreen texted me while I was working earlier. She’s invited me out tonight for a meal with some of her friends from work.”
“I hope you said yes.” Jen gave her mum a knowing look.
“I did, actually.”
Thank God for that. It meant Jen wouldn’t spend the evening at Suzanne’s feeling guilty because her mum was home alone. “Good. Maybe even live a little and take a cab. Have a few glasses of wine and enjoy yourself.”
“Maybe I will.” Denise laughed and eyed Suzanne. “You’d think she was the mother sometimes, I swear.”
“I think you equally look out for one another. Jen has told me about the support you’ve given her recently. It’s admirable.” Suzanne topped up hers and Jen’s glasses of water. “These days, parents can be quick to cut their child off if they lose their way.”
“She’s my blood. I carried her for what felt like an eternity. I don’t have it in me to turn my back on someone so kind-hearted and beautiful.” Denise reached out and stroked Jen’s cheek. “You’re thriving now, my love.”
Feeling a ball of emotion swell in her throat, Jen quickly cleared it away and smiled. “Yep. Course I am.”
“And I don’t worry about you anymore. Not since you met Suzanne.” Jen knew how much her mum had worried since her release from prison, but she felt better knowing that worry wasn’t there anymore. She knew Denise would always wonder where she was and what she was doing, that was just the mother in her, but hearing her say what she just had meant that she trusted Suzanne. That mattered a lot to Jen. “You look…healthy. Happy, too.”
“I am. Stupidly happy.” God, she was happier than she had been in a long time. “You know, we should all go out for dinner one evening, Mum. My treat…since I owe you a million of them already.”
Denise rolled her eyes and tutted. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell her that she owes me nothing at all.”
“I think that’s just who Jen is as a person,” Suzanne explained. “She’s forever doing something really lovely.”
“Oh, yes?”
“Mm. I’ve lost count of the number of times she’s brought me flowers when she’s over at my place. And she knows how to pick them, too.”
“Oh, don’t get me started on the flowers. She’s always had an eye for the beautiful things in life.” Denise nodded towards Suzanne. “Case in point.”
As Jen looked to Suzanne, she caught her blushing. “She’s not wrong, babe.”
Suzanne shook her head. “Oh, stop it.”
“I’m serious.” Jen lifted a shoulder. “When it comes to people, I have an eye for beauty.”
Suzanne gave Jen a look that said, ‘keep talking, and it’s going to be your lucky night’. But she hadn’t complimented Suzanne for any reason other than because she simply wanted to.
Denise turned her watch towards herself and sighed. “Damn it. I only have a few minutes left on my break. I really don’t want to cut this short.”
“Don’t worry, Mum. We came here unexpectedly, and I know you have to get back to work.” Jen knew they had all the time in the world for Denise and Suzanne to really get to know one another. She sure as hell had no plans to introduce anyone else to her mum in the future. “We can always come and see you when you’re not working and have a brew. Maybe some lunch at home.”
“That would be lovely. I’d really like that.”
“Then it’s a plan. I don’t know when, but it’s definitely a plan.”
Denise got to her feet and smiled down at Suzanne. “It’s been wonderful meeting you.”
Suzanne also rose to her feet. She stepped around her chair and embraced Denise, melting Jen’s heart as she did so. “We will definitely see you again soon.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Denise drew back and eyed Jen. “I mean it.”
“You’ll be sick of the sight of us before long.”
Denise tutted as she took her coffee cup from the table and stepped back. “Not possible, my love. I missed your face so much when you were away that it’s going to take the rest of my life to fill that gap.” Denise leaned down and kissed Jen on the cheek. “I love you. Be safe.”
“I love you, too. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“I know you will. You always do.”
Denise turned and walked away, leaving Jen sitting there with a chest bursting full of love. Just months ago, she was wondering if she would ever recover from her past, and now here she was…deeply in love with Suzanne and with a mother who cared a great deal about her.
“It’s beautiful to see,” Suzanne said, breaking Jen out of her thoughts. “Seeing the bond you two have…it’s truly beautiful.”
“Thanks, babe. For being here with me, for being you, for…everything, really.”
Suzanne sighed contentedly as she sat back in her seat. “Trust me, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”