Chapter 26
With her mouth agape, Jen sat in her van, staring down at the next parcel on her list of addresses. Did she really have to be the one to deliver to this house in particular? Fuck, she wished this wasn’t on her route today. As she shook her head and looked up at the house in front of her, Jen’s stomach somersaulted. She had a parcel for Ruby’s mum. The very woman who hated the sight of her.
What if she puts in a complaint about me?
No, Lyn would never do something like that. At least, Jen hoped she still knew this woman as well as she once had. She really didn’t need anything to go wrong with this job. Sure, it was mostly shit and painfully boring, but it was still a job. A job Jen couldn’t afford to lose. Not in the near future anyway.
She chewed her lip as she glared at the front of the house. The very home where she had spent ninety percent of her childhood. The place where she would knock each morning after traipsing across town to meet Ruby for school. This…really wasn’t ideal. Still, she had a parcel in her hand that wasn’t going to disappear into thin air no matter how long she held onto it.
Just do your job, smile, and then leave.
Jen climbed from her van, the parcel tucked under one arm and her scanner in hand. Maybe she would get lucky, and nobody would be at home. Leaving it in Lyn’s safe place seemed far easier right now. Jen pushed the front gate open, the garden as immaculate as it had always been, and knocked on the front door. She would give it a minute, and then she was gone. After their last encounter, Jen really didn’t have the balls to face Lyn again. It seemed easier not to exist in her best friend’s mum’s world. She was certain Lyn would agree.
Jen heard the lock on the back of the door, and then it opened wide. The smile Lyn wore quickly faded, but Jen hadn’t expected anything else. Now she just had to hope Lyn didn’t close the door in her face before she’d handed the parcel over. “Hi, Lyn. I have a parcel for you.”
Lyn held out her hand, looking over Jen’s shoulder instead of making eye contact. “Thanks.”
Jen handed it over, but she wasn’t quite done yet. “I just need a signature.” She held her scanner out and popped the pen from the top of it. “Just in the box, please.”
Lyn squiggled her name across the screen and cleared her throat. “Done?”
“Yes, thank you.” Jen slotted the pen back in place and hesitated between the front door and the garden gate. It didn’t feel right to just walk away, but it also felt awkward the longer she stood here. “Nice to see you’re still in love with your garden.” Jen threw a thumb over her shoulder. “Looks great.”
“I have very little else to do with my time,” Lyn said, placing the package down inside the hallway. “How come you’ve delivered my parcel?”
“I, uh…” Jen wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. “It was just on my route today. I don’t get to pick and choose who I deliver to.”
“R-right.”
“Look, if it’s an issue, I can see if someone else on my shift can deliver any other parcels to you in the future. I don’t know how often I’ll manage to get the swap, but I can ask.” While Jen knew Lyn didn’t have the time of day for her any longer, she hoped dropping a parcel wouldn’t be the end of the world. “I can speak to my supervisor when I finish my shift later if you’d like me to do that?”
Lyn didn’t respond. She just stared through Jen.
Jen guessed that was her cue to shut up and leave. She nodded and puffed out her cheeks. “I’ll just go. Take care, Lyn.” Jen turned for the garden gate, disappointed by this meeting almost as much as the last one.
“I miss her.”
Jen’s hand froze where it rested on top of the gate. She looked back at Lyn, wondering whether she hoped for a response from Jen. It was hard to tell. “Me, too.”
“I forget she’s gone most days.” Lyn wrapped her arms around herself as she shook her head lightly. “Do you ever think about her?”
“Me?” Jen asked, brows lifted. “Several times a day.”
“I think she’d have kids by now. Probably…two or three.” Lyn smiled, but her eyes had glazed over. Jen couldn’t read what was going to come next. “She’d be faffing around with school uniforms and whatnot while you and I just rolled our eyes at her.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Jen laughed. “She’d have me up the wall with a babysitting schedule. Or I’d be added to some kind of smart planner through her phone that she could use to bark orders at me.”
“I still find it hard to talk about her.” Lyn stepped out onto the garden path and approached Jen. She couldn’t put her finger on what Ruby’s mum was feeling right now; Jen just hoped she wouldn’t punch her square in the face. That wouldn’t be a good look. “And see her face.”
“Everyone kept telling me it would get easier over time, but here I am…five years later,” Jen said as she sniffled. “And I still cry whenever I think about her.”
Lyn wrapped her arms around Jen suddenly, almost squeezing the life out of her. “You’re the closest thing to her that I have left.” Jen reached blindly behind her and placed her scanner down on the garden wall, then wrapped her arms around Lyn. “You always came as a pair. You were another daughter to me. And then I had nothing. You’d both gone.”
“I’m sorry.” Jen sobbed into Lyn’s shoulder, her eyes tightly shut.
“She would hate me for the way I spoke to you at the cemetery.”
Jen pulled back, tears streaming down her face. “She wouldn’t. She’d understand.”
Lyn shook her head. “I never once thought about how it affected you, Jen. I didn’t stop and pull myself out of my own misery for long enough to check on you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m an adult. I was back then, too. I made my own decisions, and I hold my hand up to them.” The one thing Jen had never wanted out of this was sympathy. “I made the choices I did, and I cannot change it.”
“You were so bloody stupid getting caught up in the drink and the drugs. I wanted to throttle the bleedin’ life out of you.” Lyn drew back and shook her head. “What the hell were you thinking, Jen?”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking. That was the problem.” Jen picked her scanner back up, not wanting to leave it and ultimately lose it. “But if it helps at all, I’m doing much better now. I’m settled, I have a partner, and someone gave me a job…as you can see.”
“You shouldn’t have needed a job. You had a brilliant job before you went off the rails.” Lyn could chastise Jen all she wanted. Jen was just happy to be standing here right now. Even if it pained her every time she glanced inside Lyn’s home, a world of memories flooding back. “I need you to promise me you’ll never do something like that again. You had your mother’s nerves shot. And mine.”
“I’m in a different place now, Lyn. Life is…looking up for me, dare I say it.”
Lyn’s brows drew together. “This partner. Who is she? Would Ruby approve?”
Jen grinned. “Oh, Ruby would absolutely approve. I think they’d probably sit around talking about the latest fashion trends. Suzanne knows her labels, that’s for sure.”
“Then I approve, too.”
Jen quickly checked her watch, wishing she didn’t have to cut this short. But she did. She was still on the clock. “That means a lot to me.” She cleared her throat and brushed away a tear as it landed on her cheek. “I should really get going. I’m still working, and I have quite a bit to get through.”
Lyn nodded. “Sorry. Go. I don’t want to hold you up.”
“It was nice seeing you again, Lyn.” Jen wanted to ask if she could come back when she wasn’t working, but she wasn’t sure Lyn was quite at that place yet. To be honest, it didn’t feel as though Lyn would ever be at that place with Jen again. “Maybe when we bump into one another again, we could be amicable? I understand if you’d rather I cross the street, but I’d like to keep in touch.”
“Come over for some tea tomorrow.” Lyn stepped back and returned to the warmth of her house. “If you don’t have any plans, that is.”
“I…don’t.” Jen didn’t have anything set in stone, and she was sure Suzanne would understand. “I’ll come over around six, okay? When I’ve finished my shift.”
“I’ll have the kettle on waiting.”
Jen left Lyn’s garden, stopping and smiling back at her as she closed the gate. “Thanks for inviting me back over, Lyn. I appreciate it.”
“Get going before you have your pay docked.” Lyn waved Jen away, smiling as she closed the front door.
This could only be the greatest outcome for Jen, even if it hadn’t felt positive as she walked up the garden path a few minutes ago. But it was another second chance in Jen’s life, and it was one she wouldn’t let go of. No matter what.
As Suzanne filled the dishwasher, she paused, narrowing her eyes when she heard Jen whistling in the dining room. She couldn’t say she’d ever heard Jen whistling before, but she had noticed that Jen was very chipper this evening. She was usually quiet and tired when she came here straight from work, so something must have brought her mood up.
She slotted the last plate into the rack and put the dishwasher on. As Suzanne turned and rested back against the counter, drying her hands on a towel as she did so. She watched Jen through the archway and smiled. Yes, her girlfriend was definitely in a good mood this evening.
“Hey, babe?” Jen appeared in front of Suzanne with a gorgeous smile.
“Mm?”
“Have you spoken to Elsie lately? I was wondering when she’s going to be visiting again.” Jen wrapped her arms around Suzanne’s waist as she stepped nearer. “She’s such a lovely kid. It would be nice to see her again.”
“I’ll give my brother a call at the weekend and see what business plans he has coming up. Elsie usually only stays with me nowadays if they need someone to look after her.”
“You said they’re down south now, yeah?”
Suzanne nodded. “Yes. They moved there about two years ago now. It’s not ideal, I miss them terribly, but we try to see one another whenever we can.”
Jen lifted a shoulder. “Maybe we could drive down and spend the day with her one weekend. Then you’re not worrying about the next time you’ll see Elsie. We can go to them. Maybe…get a hotel room for the night.”
Suzanne loved that idea. She didn’t know why the suggestion had surprised her; Jen was always up for random plans. “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” Jen’s eyes brightened. “It’s something we could do?”
“Of course. You just let me know which weekend is best for you, and I’ll make the rest happen. Elsie will be thrilled that we’re visiting. She’s always asking me when I’ll be there to see her, but I hate the thought of that long drive alone.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about driving long distance on your own anymore, babe. Because I will be sitting right next to you.”
Suzanne’s insides ached as Jen gazed back at her. God, she would always be grateful for these moments. “Don’t take this the wrong way—I love our evenings together. But you seem particularly happy tonight. Has something happened?”
“Actually, yes.” Jen took Suzanne’s hand and dragged her away from the counter. Once they were sitting comfortably in the living room, she turned to Suzanne with the biggest smile on her face. “I had to deliver a parcel to Ruby’s mum this afternoon.”
“Oh.” Suzanne’s brows rose. She hoped this story had a good ending. “How was that?”
“It went far better than I thought it would,” Jen said, her eyes wide. “I think we could potentially repair our relationship.” The smile Jen wore had Suzanne’s heart pounding. God, she had a beautiful smile. “She’s invited me over for a brew tomorrow when I finish work.”
“Oh, Jen. This is brilliant news.”
“We don’t have any plans tomorrow evening, do we?” Jen chewed her lip as she pulled both of Suzanne’s hands into her lap and held on tight. “I love being here with you when I finish work, but I really need to do this.”
“Even if we did have plans, which we don’t, I would be happy to cancel them if it means you get this moment with Ruby’s mum. I see how important this relationship is to you, and I’d only encourage you to go over there.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
Suzanne frowned. Why would Jen think for one second that she would mind? This was huge. Any sort of normal relationship was exactly what Jen needed. “How could I ever mind?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t want you to think I’m blowing you off. You know I love spending my evenings with you, and I will be here as soon as I’ve been to see Lyn, but I wanted to check with you anyway.”
“Jen, I want you to do this. And if that means I don’t see you at all tomorrow evening, then so be it.” Suzanne drew Jen in and kissed her slowly. “Your life is piecing itself back together. If you can have a relationship with Ruby’s mum, then I couldn’t ask for anything more. What’s important to you is important to me, too, baby.”
Jen nodded slowly. “Thank you. For understanding.”
“Hey,” Suzanne said, lifting Jen’s chin with two fingers. “I’m happy for you.”
“God, I can’t wait for you to meet one another. She already knows about you. I told her I was involved today. And that Ruby would approve of you.”
Suzanne’s heart burst as Jen admitted that. In the brief moment Jen had spent with Lyn today, she’d mentioned Suzanne? That meant so much. “I’m glad you think she would.”
“No, I know she would.” Jen gave Suzanne a knowing look. “You’d one hundred percent be the perfect pick for me if Ruby had things her way. She would have match made, then told me off for dragging my feet, then cheered me on when we eventually got together. She knew me better than I know myself.”
“I’m glad you had that friendship.” Suzanne often saw the pain in Jen’s eyes when she spoke about Ruby, but tonight, that pain wasn’t there. It seemed more of an…appreciation for ever having Ruby in her life. That, to Suzanne, was one hell of a special bond. “And that you still remember everything so fondly about her.”
“She had her faults, but to me, she was perfect. She couldn’t do any wrong in my eyes.”
“That’s all we can ask for in a best friend.”
“You’re right.” Jen exhaled a deep breath. “Now, what’s the plan?”
Suzanne kissed Jen, then got to her feet. “I’m going to finish clearing away from dinner, and then I’d like to enjoy a long hot shower…preferably with you.”
“You can count me in.” Jen smirked. “Hey, what will you do tomorrow while I’m not here?”
“I think I’ll invite Tracy over. We haven’t seen much of one another lately.” Suzanne would admit that she’d been giving Tracy a wide berth. To a point, anyway. While she was getting life back on track with Jen, Suzanne just felt it best to avoid any kind of situation that involved Tracy. She wasn’t quite sure how Jen felt about her being here. “I should try harder with her than I have lately.”
“You still blame her for coming clean about me, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t say I blame her. I just wish she hadn’t come right out with it.” Suzanne carded a hand through her hair.
“I don’t think it’s her fault. Not at all. Tracy wouldn’t have felt as though she needed to come clean about anything if I’d spoken up when I should have.”
“Maybe not, but I still don’t like the way she dropped it on me. I’m almost certain that’s why I reacted the way I did.” Suzanne shouldn’t blame Tracy for her reaction, but it was true. If Tracy or Jen had come to her and explained everything calmly and from the beginning, then Suzanne wouldn’t have felt so betrayed by Jen’s lack of conversation surrounding it. “But it’s done now.”
Jen rose to her feet and followed Suzanne back into the kitchen. “I thought it was touch and go for a moment when Lizzie came back onto the scene, but you didn’t let it come between us, and that only makes me love you more.”
“I know what we have here. Reacting negatively would have been useless.” Suzanne turned to Jen. “And I’m sorry if you ever thought it was an issue. I promise you, it’s not.”
Jen tugged on Suzanne’s hand and pulled her closer. “This has been a whirlwind for both of us. And even though I’ve often wondered where I’m headed—it’s hard not to given where I was this time last year—I’ve never been uncertain about you. I’ve never once thought I couldn’t make you happy.”
“You make me very happy, Jen.”
“We got it right, okay?” Jen stroked the back of her hand along Suzanne’s jawline. “It may have been quick, and it may have come out of the blue, but we got it so right, babe.”
Suzanne leaned into Jen’s touch and closed her eyes. “We really did, didn’t we?”
Jen drew Suzanne in, their bodies pressed together as she captured her lips. These moments with Jen could have easily been lost forever just weeks ago, but they were here, and they were happier than before. Suzanne was sure of it.
“Jen,” Suzanne whispered against her lips. “Can you give me five minutes to finish up in the kitchen?”
Jen nodded as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. Suzanne could feel the fire building between them. She wanted to fan those flames until it was roaring out of control. Jen clearly felt it too, judging by the way she shifted uncomfortably, her eyes dark and intense. “If I must.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll be rewarded.” Suzanne drew her thumb across Jen’s bottom lip. “Maybe you could head up and turn the shower on.”
“I…wasn’t planning to shower just yet.”
Suzanne cocked her head and simpered. “Not even if I’m going to be in there with you?”
Jen released the arm around Suzanne’s waist, letting her go once she’d slid a hand to Suzanne’s arse and squeezed. “Better get to it, hadn’t I?”
“Mm. I think you’d better.”