Chapter Nine - Sebastian
WE WON OUR game, but I didn’t feel like celebrating. Owen didn’t say anything to me about Thalia’s actions last night. Instead, he’s pretending nothing happened. I get why he’s angry. She was a wreck when Eric brought her in.
And still, I couldn’t get what Owen said to Thalia out of my head. I can’t stop thinking of how she shoved my hand away when I only wanted to tell her how wrong Owen was. Except he wasn’t wrong. I understood why he said everything, but he took it too far.
On the other hand, I wasn’t shocked when she said Landon hit on her. It blindsided her, and that can make people do crazy things, like get super drunk without thinking it through.
I saw how he looked at her on the beach trip, but it was clear she had no idea. Not to stroke my ego or anything, but she spent most of the trip staring at me. It was hard for Thalia to notice that Landon was staring at her when she was watching me. Landon certainly noticed that she was staring at me.
I didn’t love hearing that she thinks I’m never nice to her, but looking back on our recent interactions, I understand why. It is hard for me to be around her, as tough as that was to admit to her. I spend half the time with her, wanting to kiss Thalia or fighting with her. I wish I could say I wasn’t still hung up on our fight from last year, but I am.
Thalia and I have our differences, but Owen’s words hurt her more than mine ever could. She talks a big game, but I know how important he is to her.
I shouldn’t have stayed in the hallway to listen to their conversation, but I can’t decide whether I did the right thing by leaving them in the kitchen. My loyalty lies with Owen, but I don’t want to see Thalia hurt either. Somehow, I keep finding myself stuck between the Lewis siblings.
It’s a mess.
I’m almost to my car when Eric calls out after me. “Bash! Hey, wait up.”
“What’s up?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.
He grins, clearly thrilled about the win today. Eric should be excited. He stopped the other team from making a touchdown with a great tackle. “You played great today. It was a good game.”
I offer him a fist bump. “Couldn’t have done it without you. That tackle you had kept them from getting another touchdown. Good job.”
“Listen, I was going to ask Owen, but he was busy with some of the other guys. I was wondering if Thalia is okay? I didn’t see her on the sidelines taking pictures today.”
Okay? Not a shot in hell. But Eric doesn’t need to know that. “Yeah, she’s fine. She threw up a few times, but she’ll bounce back after her hangover. Thanks for looking out for her last night; I appreciate it.”
He shrugs like it wasn’t a big deal. “She’s a good friend. Thalia’s the one that set me up with Natalie. She never would have forgiven me if I’d left Lia there. I’m glad she’s okay.”
“I appreciate it. If you see her like that again, do me a favor and call me?” I know I’m stepping into dangerous territory. Thalia doesn’t need me to look out for her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to.
“Will do. Can you tell Thalia I hope she’s feeling better, and I want my jacket back?”
“Sure. Have fun tonight,” I say, opening the door to my car and tossing my bag into the passenger seat before climbing in myself. I make a quick stop on my way back to the apartment, but I’m ready to crash for a long nap by the time I return. The adrenaline from the game has worn off.
The living room and kitchen are empty, and Thalia’s door across from mine is still shut. I wonder if she’s even left her room today.
My hand hovers over her door, and I hesitate. Chickening out means I made the stop on the way home for nothing. I knock softly, waiting for her to tell me to come in, but all I hear is silence. It could mean she’s ignoring me or sleeping.
After she ignored me for a week since the beach, I have a good sense that it’s the first. I knock again, persistently this time until Thalia yells something back in French. My guess is it’s something along the lines of go away.
It doesn’t have her favorite word, so maybe she thinks I’m Owen.
“Thalia, open the door,” I say, waiting a few moments to give her a chance to open the door. I hear the lock flip, but I don’t feel better after seeing her.
If I thought she looked rough last night, it’s nothing compared to how Thalia looks right now. Her normally bright green eyes and nose are red, and she has a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Thalia’s blonde hair is in a rat’s nest on top of her head, and she looks…defeated.
I hate seeing her like this. I should have stepped in last night, but how would I explain that to Owen? He drew a line in the sand when he asked me to leave the room. I was torn between helping the girl I shouldn’t want and her brother, my best friend of sixteen years.
I hold the bag of grease up. “I brought food.” I’m toeing that line right now, but I selfishly want to make sure Lia’s okay.
She looks at it blankly before turning around to pull the blanket over her head, curling up in a ball. “I’m not hungry. Shut the door behind you.”
I take a dangerous step through the door frame into the room that used to belong to Chris. I took for granted how simple everything was when he lived here. “You puked your guts out last night, and I’d bet you threw up again after we left for the game today. Have you eaten anything?”
“Go away. I’m giving you the reprieve you so desperately wanted, especially with how hard it is being around me.”
Fuck, I hoped she wouldn’t remember that. Yeah, I’d like to stop getting turned on by the thought of my best friend’s little sister. I’d like her to stop wearing outfits that make me unable to look away. I want to do a lot of things to her that I shouldn’t want to do. But this? Thalia hiding in her room, refusing to eat, isn’t what I want.
Owen and Lia don’t fight often, but it’s catastrophic when they do. They’re both so stubborn, and it could be weeks before they make up.
I make another risky move, sitting on the edge of her bed. “If you’re not going to eat, then I will. I just played an entire game, and you wouldn’t believe how hungry I am.”
Thalia remains covered by the blankets, seemingly unbothered by me, which I know isn’t true. I take it a step further, stretching out on her bed. I want a typical reaction from her. I’ll leave her alone after, but I need to see that she’ll be okay.
I know how to push her buttons, just like she knows how to push mine. Lia rolls to face me. “What will it take to get you to go away and leave me alone? Do I need to take my shirt off to show you my skin, because that always seems to send you running in the opposite direction?”
I put the bag of food on the ground next to the bed and rest my head on her pillows. “You’re never going to be able to get rid of me.” Especially if you start stripping next to me.
Thalia frowns, huffing. “Because you’re Owen’s best friend. I’m aware and so thrilled. Now get out of my room.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Fine. Stay. I don’t care.” Thalia turns back over, and I’m stunned.
I had no idea that Owen’s words could do this. “Lia, he was wrong—”
“He wasn’t wrong in anything he said, so don’t defend him. You think the same fucking things he does, so I don’t know why you’re in here trying to make me feel better. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a headache, and I’d like to be alone.” Her voice cracks, and a piece of me does too.
I don’t think the same thing. But my pride and my loyalty to Owen prevent me from saying otherwise. I get off the bed, picking the food up to set it on her desk. “You still need to eat something. It won’t be as good if it’s cold.” I say before shutting the door behind me.
The minute I hit my bed, I’m out like a light.
~
“See, aren’t you glad you came?” Chris nudges me as a girl smiles from the other end of the bar after sending me a drink. It’s busy, but not so loud you can’t hear yourself think. It’s why we come here instead of the more popular bars around Durham.
“There’s something wrong with you if you don’t go talk to her,” Owen says, laughing, and I roll my eyes at him.
“I bet if you shaved your face, you might get free drinks sent to you too. I’m just going to go say thank you,” I say, sliding off the bar stool easily. I agree with Thalia. The beard is terrible, so I’m not sure why he insists on keeping it.
He didn’t mention me not celebrating with the team earlier, but there was no way I was getting out of going with him and Chris to the bars. These plans were made a few days ago, and backing out wasn’t an option.
I didn’t want to come out tonight and leave Thalia in the apartment by herself again, but she made it clear she didn’t want any company, especially mine. Why shouldn’t I go out with my friends?
The closer I get, the more familiar the girl is. Her friend whispers in her ear, getting up to walk away. “Hey, I’m Bash. Thanks for the drink.” I smile at her as I lean against the bar.
She laughs easily. “I know who you are. We’re in abnormal psych together, I’m Lucy.” I knew I recognized her from somewhere.
I can’t help but smile in response to her forwardness. I know who I am, but it feels like a dick move to assume every single person knows who I am. “You sit a few rows ahead of me.”
It makes her smile that I knew that. “That was a pretty big win today. Congratulations,” Lucy says, briefly resting her hand on my arm before pulling it back. Normally, this is the time I walk away. I stopped doing this after freshman year because I didn’t like the way it made me feel. I used sex to distract myself from the grief of losing Grandpa the summer before, and the parade of girls never made it better. I’ve tried to make sex mean something since then, aside from a slip last summer. Hopefully, that slip doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.
She’s made it clear she was interested, but maybe it’s in my best interest not to walk away. Lucy isn’t related to any of my friends, which means she’s not off limits.
“It was a team effort. Thank you, though.”
Her eyes flicker behind me where I’m positive Chris and Owen are staring at us. “Did you want to go back to your friends?”
“No, I’m okay, unless you want me to go back to them?” I offer, knowing that she won’t tell me to.
“That would defeat the purpose of sending you a drink,” she says, tilting her head. Lucy is pretty. It’s a shame I’m hung up on Thalia, or I probably would have noticed her in class.
“Lucy, what was the purpose of sending me a drink?” I play along, taking a drink of it.
Her smile is coy. “If you don’t already know, then I have got to be doing something wrong.”
I shake my head, smiling crookedly at her. “You’re not doing anything wrong.” I’ve been painfully abstinent since summer. I’m punishing myself for wanting Lia when I know why I can’t have her. There’s only a certain amount of cold showers I can take, and she’s driving me crazy.
“Do you want to get out of here?” she asks, and I respect that she’s going after what she wants.
“Sure.” I agree after a few moments of trying to decide whether this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done or the smartest.
I hear Owen and Chris call out hoots from the back as Lucy and I approach the door. I rest my hand on her back, guiding her to where my car is parked. Her lips are on mine as soon as we’re in the car.
It’s aggressive and fast paced. Exactly what I need. I might adore this car, but it doesn’t leave room for everything I want to do in it. The gearshift is digging into my thigh, and I don’t have the right angle to kiss her. I recognize the feeling behind her aggressiveness, having been there myself.
I twist away, starting my car. “Who broke your heart?”
She blinks at me in surprise. “How did you—”
“Because I know the feeling. I can drop you off at your place if that’s what you prefer?”
“I swear going home to my place is the last thing I want. You might want to start driving, or things will get a little more cramped in here.” Oh hell. I’m playing with fire, taking her back to the apartment. Her hand drops to my lap, and Lucy cups me through my jeans. My brain short-circuits, letting the need to feel something other than my hand override the logic in my brain.
The car ride feels too long. As soon as we’re in the apartment, she’s kissing me again. I throw my keys blindly in what I hope is the direction of the counter as Lucy slips a hand between our bodies, feeling how hard I am. I press my lips harder against her so I can banish any thoughts of Thalia. It’s not fair to Lucy, but we’re both using each other.
“Seems like you need this as badly as I do,” she says in between kisses as I open my bedroom door.
“You have no idea,” I say, setting her down on the bed to peel my shirt off.