Chapter 25
25
RAVEN
The end of the road, or maybe, just the beginning.
I loved him.
I fell in love with him before the day I saw his phone, I just didn’t want to admit it; it felt like betrayal.
His love crept up on me in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I hadn’t healed yet.
It was no excuse, though.
Not at all.
I expected things to be better when I woke up from the coma, when I had my family, when he saw the apology I asked Ivan to set out for him, only to find out that in the chaos Ivan never did.
So I just resorted to my default settings, to doing everything I could to show him that I cared, and all he did was keep me at arm’s length.
If he gave me one more polite smile I was going to scream.
Then again, I wasn’t any better.
I hated the word miracle at this point.
Detested it.
But it still felt like we had this chasm between us.
I wanted to make a move, but the timing always felt off.
I didn’t want to come across as insincere, so I tried to spend time with him, but he gave me space.
Too much freaking space.
And when he didn’t give me space, he was sending me out to get my nails done or to get a massage.
It was like he was trying to get rid of me by way of overflowing gifts.
I wasn’t’ complaining, I really wasn’t.
I loved it, but I would take pizza on the couch any night, because it was with him.
The doorbell rang. “Shit!”
“We told them to knock!” Ace hissed.
I scrambled toward the door and nearly tripped on my own feet and jerked open the door just as the doorbell went off again, followed by crying.
The delivery guy took a picture of the pizza.
“Oh hey, here’s your pizza. Have a good night.”
I almost chased him to his car.
Instead, hunger won out.
I grabbed the pizza off the chair next to the door and went back inside the house while Ace came out with Lily on his chest. “She already went back to sleep but I’m going to hold her a bit.”
“Right.” I put the pizza on the counter, grabbed us each a slice, and went over to the couch.
His hands were busy holding our daughter.
Mine were busy holding pizza, so I didn’t reach for him.
The frustration lingered, the words left unsaid, the mistrust, the stress and the lack of sleep helped nothing.
I lifted my slice of pizza up and held it to his mouth.
He stared down at it then back up at me.
“You eat.”
“Take a bite before I change my mind, my stomach already ate itself and is working on the intestinal wall lining.”
“That’s physically impossible, if your body was eating itself it would most likely break down major organs first, but normally the brain shuts down, making it impossible to send signals to—” He grinned and opened his mouth.
I pulled the pizza away.
“You were saying?”
“I was saying, normally the brain breaks down first making it impossible to send signals to your organs, but not your brain, never, yours is too massive.”
“Good answer.”
“Can I have a bite now?”
Throat dry, I tried not to shake as I lifted the slice of pepperoni pizza to his lips.
He took a huge bite and closed his mouth to chew.
A soft moan escaped.
“So good. I’m starving.”
I licked my lips.
“Y-yeah, me too.”
I fed him the rest of his slice then ate mine.
I was asleep in minutes and woke up to a blanket laying over me and Lily fast asleep in her crib.
When I went to bed he was there, shirtless, sleeping, his hair a wreck and his body half on the bed.
It wasn’t fair.
I needed to talk with him, even if it meant I ended up with a broken heart in the process.
I would deserve it anyway.
In a few hours, after class, I’d tell him everything.
And just pray he responded.