Chapter Eleven #3
He takes another step closer, and my shoulders bump the wall of the house.
We’re both still naked as he braces his hands on either side of my head.
His body touches mine, warm, firm skin brushing mine.
I’m in shock as I feel his dick pressing against my stomach.
He’s fully erect, his arousal scenting the air around us.
I’m hard too, precum seeping from the head of my dick, smearing against his abdomen.
I’m breathless and confused about what’s happening.
We’ve shifted and run many times together, and he’s never once looked at me the way he is now.
I’ll admit though, from the second we returned home after dinner, something was different.
His restlessness was palpable. Even so, the way he’s watching me and leaning into me makes no sense.
Not if he’s straight. Not if he’s in love with Kara.
“Isn’t this what you want?” he asks hoarsely.
I blink at him, too afraid to respond.
The heat radiating off him is searing. I feel his pulse reverberating through me. His golden-brown eyes search my face, pausing on my mouth. I swear I feel his gaze on my lips. My legs are weak as I watch him war with himself. The man trying to pull back. The wolf refusing to let him.
The wolf wins.
With a throaty groan, his mouth finds mine. His tongue pushes deep into my mouth, and just the taste of him could make me come. I moan and respond to his hunger, unable to stop myself. The kiss is rough, ravenous, nothing like I imagined but everything I wanted.
His lips are hot and demanding, and when I open more for him, a carnal sound tears from his throat that vibrates through my entire body. His hand slides to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I grab his hips, my fingers digging into bare skin, and he presses me harder against the wall.
Is this really happening?
I can feel every inch of him against me.
The hard planes of his chest, the heat of his stomach, the unmistakable evidence that he wants this as much as I do.
His mouth moves to my jaw, my throat, teeth grazing the sensitive skin below my ear.
I moan, my head falling back against the wall, my hands trembling where they grip his waist.
“Fuck,” he breathes against my neck, the word ragged. His hips roll against mine and I bite back a moan. “Fuck, Jude, I want—” He holds my face, staring deep into my eyes. The lack of control I see is both exhilarating and frightening. He looks like he wants to devour me.
I want to tell him he can have me. He can have anything he wants from me.
But I’m terrified if I speak, I’ll break the spell.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. His whole body suddenly goes rigid.
The wildness in his eyes flickers, and I watch the man surge back to the surface, horror replacing hunger.
He pulls back like I’ve burned him, stumbling a step, two steps away. His chest is heaving, his eyes wide.
“What am I doing? I… I…” He stares at me, and the confusion on his face is devastating. The panic in his voice guts me. “Jude, I... I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I say, even though my voice is wrecked and my body is screaming at the loss of him.
He turns his back on me and quickly begins to dress.
I’m scared he’ll send me away. He’s disgusted by his behavior. By his desire. It’s very likely he’ll want me gone just so he doesn’t have to face what happened between us.
“Liam, listen.” I lick my lips and struggle to keep my voice steady. “It’s fine. We were both amped up from the run. It didn’t mean anything and I know that.”
He turns back to me, and the raw vulnerability in his expression almost undoes me. The guilt and revulsion and self-loathing in his eyes kills me. “I don’t want that,” he croaks. “I’ve never wanted that before and I don’t want it now.”
“I know.” I nod, my heart aching. “I understand. It’s okay, really. It was just the run got us excited. It wasn’t you, it was your wolf. I get it.”
“Right,” he says harshly. “It wasn’t me.”
“We both had too much wine. It’s no big deal. It meant nothing, and I completely understand that.” Panicked words spill from my lips as I grab my clothes from the porch floor, and pull them on with hands that won’t stop trembling.
Without another word, he goes into the house, slamming the back door. I lean against the wall, feeling sick to my stomach. My lips are swollen from his kiss. My skin burns everywhere he touched me. I can still smell him on me, and his rejection breaks my heart.
But I understand why he’s upset. He just saw something in himself he isn’t ready to accept. He might never be able to accept it. That’s all right. You can’t force someone to be who they don’t want to be.
I enter the house and hurry upstairs. Once I’m in my room, I lean my back against the closed door and slide down until I’m sitting on the floor. Legs drawn to my chest, I press my forehead to my knees and try to breathe.
Liam’s sweet taste still lingers on my tongue, but it’s clear to me now what I must do.
I need to move out of Liam’s house ASAP.
If I don’t, I’ll lose every part of him.
The disgust and fear I saw in his eyes made that crystal clear.
I didn’t imagine the hunger in his eyes, but I also didn’t imagine the self-loathing.
If I stay in his home, he’ll come to hate me.
Because he hates the part of himself that wants me.
I’ll give him distance, so he isn’t tempted again.
And hopefully, by doing that, I can still have his friendship.