Chapter 27
Chapter twenty-seven
James
Ihave been trying to have a fun time with Belichime. I was surprised to see an entire town, full of people of different races and backgrounds, in the caves surrounding the cove. The clash of cultures turned this into a unique place, almost more colorful than Panatoea.
From the clay and shell homes built up against the mountains to the main square on the beach on the ground level.
Every storefront or stand looks different; some are decked out in rich colors with gold and silver like the fae.
Other stands are all wood, with sparse decoration in green, as I had gotten accustomed to living amongst the faun.
Then there are the in between stands. Not as luxurious and decorated as the fae stands, not as plain and natural as the faun stands.
Human stands, full of trinkets and treats I recognize from home.
A home I start to remember more and more.
Another testament to how deep Peter’s manipulation had run.
It is beyond terrifying to realize how much of my life had been a lie.
How much of myself I have lost since coming here.
The worst part is how I chose to go with Peter, my instincts have failed me so tremendously that the only thing I know for sure now is that I should never trust them again.
“Are you okay James, you’re a bit quiet. I know I talk a lot, I was excited when you asked me if we wanted to hang out together. But if I am too much?” Belichime’s loud cheery voice dispels some of my somberness.
“Oh no, not at all Belle, I was just thinking about what human treat I should get you. I mean, what better way to spend my first pay than on my first friend on board.”
She smiles, she is too sweet to doubt anyone, and she loves food. We have been discussing human food before. She seemed to be very interested.
It might have been an excuse to not make her feel rejected. To not make her feel like she was too much. No one is ever too much, you just need to find the right people surrounding you.
“Wait, I see strawberries. It is the fruit I missed the most, I am sure you will love strawberry cheesecake. You go sit down, and I will get us two slices and two coffee. I will be right back,” I tell her genuinely excited to share something I love from home, and I missed immensely, with someone I am starting to consider as a friend.
I deserve to have a fun day out, even if I am worrying about Barry and Matthew, it’s not like I can help them now.
The ship needs to stock up on supplies any ways.
“And please reconsider working with me to get our siblings back.” Killian’s words have been running rampant in my mind.
It seemed like the smart decision to not trust him.
After all, he kidnapped me to get his sister back, we hated each other.
However, now I have done things you should not do with people you didn’t trust either.
But I did those things with Peter too, and of course he turned out to be the least trustworthy person in all of the nine realms.
All my time here in Silvermist, I believed Peter and all the other fauns that said Killian was the villain.
It was bad enough when I realized Peter is the real villain here.
Sure, Killian did some stuff that wasn’t really ethical too, he is no sweetheart.
That doesn’t mean he is the real villain, though, Peter is… and I am.
Everything I did here, I cheated on Peter, and I enjoyed it. It doesn’t matter that Peter lied about our entire relationship. It’s cheating until I let him know we are no longer together, and then the whole mess involves Killian, even my thoughts are all over the place.
“Hey, James, you’re human .You can tell me what is good here, right?
” Vani asks me. They’re here with a group they always hang out with on the ship.
They were also among the pirates who captured me.
Naturally, in the beginning, we didn’t get along because they kidnapped me.
But as they were just following orders from their captain to rescue someone innocent, I was arrogant and stubborn, defending the faun who got them into that mess.
And to top it all off, I fooled them so they could not eat the food they foraged.
“Hi Vani, well, that depends, if you want something sweet, I would go for the macarons. If you want something a little more savory, sausage or cheese rolls are always a good idea.” I smile as they order some of each for them and their friends.
And then I order the strawberry cheesecake and two coffees for Belichime and I.
Vani doesn’t comment on the fact that I ordered something different than I recommended.
They genuinely seem to trust my recommendation.
Contributing to the sense that the crew is finally starting to accept me. Which honestly feels great.
“I saw you talking to Vani. Did they want a human snack too?” Belichime asks the second I sit down.
Casual small talk is what I should be focusing on now.
Not the broody captain, who finally walks up to the main square, Samuel hot on his tail as always, the two are clearly really close friends.
I know Samuel doesn’t have any romantic interest, he told me so himself, and I had no reason to think he lied to me.
However, he never said he didn’t feel sexual attraction.
And I never believed in the fairytale that the two are mutually inclusive.
It’s a myth humans use so they can shame those who have sex outside of marriage.
Forgetting all the political marriages that see more lovers and mistresses than actual love.
Suddenly, I find myself wondering if Killian and Samuel ever…
and if they did, would it stop now that something is going on between me and Killian?
His stormy gray eyes find me through the main square, his face an unmovable mask.
Just like I said I wanted, just like we agreed on, this is just something physical, nothing more, nothing less.
“Tell me, Belichime, is there anything you want to do here?” I force myself to pull my gaze away from Killian and Samuel, to ignore the feelings I am not yet ready to name.
I am going to spend some time with my friend.
“We should go clothes shopping, most of what you’re wearing is Pax’s stuff.
I am sure he wants it back. Plus, you should wear something that suits you, something more your style.
Maybe a nice festive outfit,” she says, beaming with excitement.
The last one is a bit of an odd choice to have on a pirate ship, but she is right; it would be nice to have my own clothes again, because now I have this Panatoean silk ensemble and the clothes I wore when they found me.
Clothes I don’t wear anymore. They’re green, clothes I didn’t even like all that much, but I wore them anyway, simply because it was what Peter preferred.
Now these clothes serve as a reminder of how far I lost myself.
One I cannot stand to be confronted with.
“Not sure about the festive outfit, Belichime, but honestly, shopping sounds like a lot of fun.” Back home I used to wear bright colors as it made me stick out a bit, but I never cared about that much.
After I boarded the ship and was handed clean clothes, Pax’s clothes, as I found out later, I made up this narrative in my mind that all pirates wore drab brown clothes.
Belichime, however, wore a lot of pastels, and Killian wore red and gold.
Seviin looks like a noble lady on some days and like she rolled out of bed to get to work on others.
Everyone has their own style, and only on the days they had shifts on the ship did they wear somewhat boring, sturdy clothes, but that made a lot of sense.
Leaving me actually excited to get new clothes and wear something my own style in a place that seemed to accept that.
And a small part of me wants to know what Killian will think when he sees me wear the clothes I love so much. Wear my style of clothes.
“No really, James, I think you need a fancy suit just in case. We all have something to wear to parties and feasts,” Belichime reiterates.
It seems important to her, so I just give in.
Not only did Killian give me a far higher pay than what I got back home, but I also don’t have living expenses, and I still have the three gold coins he gave me for the necklace. It’s not like I can’t afford it.
“Sure, let’s go see what they have then,” I confirm, and Belichime jumps up right away.
Drawing attention from several people around us, villagers and pirates alike.
And of course, this means she’s drawn Killian’s attention too, and right away, we make eye contact again.
He has sat down with Samuel. The latter smirks when he sees what, or more so, who Killian is staring at.
Didn’t he tell me this was just physical, that he did not want the crew to know because word spread so easily? Then maybe he should not be staring at me all the damn time.
“Wow, James, that would look great on you,” Belichime says, eyeing up the purple robe-like jacket I pulled from one of the stands.
It’s definitely not something I would wear every day.
It’s too fancy, the fabric almost seems fragile, and the embroidery is so delicate.
However, this would do as the festive clothes Belichime keeps telling me to get.
And maybe it’s something I can bring back home when I am able to take my brothers back to earth. Something to remember this place by.
It will be good being back with my family.
I miss my parents, and now I no longer have the safety of knowing I left them behind to get each of us a better life.
I mean I saw Peter place the bag of gold pieces on the table, with my letter, but with how much he has been lying to me.
That accounts for nothing anymore. The same fears Killian has, about not being welcome to return home, about his parents refusing to let him come back.
The one I told him he should not worry about, are ironically the worries I feel too.
“Come on, try it on,” Belichime tells me, and she is right. I’ve been standing here thinking about where and when I could wear these robes simply because I love them so much.
“Yes, you’re right. Tell me what you think of them?” With those words I slip on the robes that are warm and light at the same time. It barely feels like I am wearing something, besides the cozy warmth.
“They look amazing on you, darling, let me get them for you.” I stiffen at the compliment that is not coming from Belichime.
Her face shows she agrees with Killian, I can see it too in the mirror the vendor has in his stand, the deep purple color does suit me.
But Killian was out having drinks with Samuel, not shopping with me. Let alone buying me fancy clothes.
“No, no, you don’t have to do that for me, you gave me a pay remember,” I stammer, avoiding eye contact with him. He is too close, and it would reveal too much if I looked up at him now.
“I did, and now I am giving you a gift.” His words come out kind and even but leave no room for arguments, as he pays the vendor more than what the robes actually cost. Making sure that the man is not going to help me in refusing his payment.
“Well, thank you… I guess…” I hate how ungrateful I sound now.
But two people who are forced to work together after they find out their hate for a mutual enemy is bigger than their hatred for each other should not go around buying each other gifts, let alone expensive gifts.
Especially not when they are casually sleeping together.
A few hours later Belichime and I make our way back to the Obsidian Oath, like everyone else, we had dinner on the shore.
It was admittedly a great idea, I had fun with her and Dexter, who joined later on.
But my mind has been a mess, and it has been hard to focus on Belichime and what we were doing. From all that happened yesterday.