CHAPTER 3
ADDY
Asher had stayed with me for the rest of the night. Adam and Jordan returned with sandwiches, which we all ate, then they went to bed. I slept pretty well, with Asher in his armchair beside me, my hand held firmly in his.
When I woke the next morning he’d been wide awake and looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, but he smiled and told me he was fine. I was worried about him as he left my room to shower and change, but there wasn’t anything I could do if he refused to speak to me.
Instead I had showered and dressed too, resolved to find Eli, and make sure he wasn’t worrying about me hating him, the way Asher had been the night before.
I was struggling to push back the memory of Joseph in that room with me, but the fact I had slept for a few hours was helping me keep a leash on the darkness, and I was determined to keep a damned tight grip on that leash for as long as I possibly could.
I kept my focus on soothing Eli, and left my room with that mission at the forefront of my thoughts. I tiptoed to his room next door and quietly opened the door. I was surprised to find him asleep in his bed. It was after nine and I had never seen him sleep in past seven. He was up every morning, swimming laps in the pool long before I even roused.
I worried about waking him, but I couldn’t bear to think of him feeling as worried about everything as Asher had the night before. I needed him to know I loved him and wasn’t going anywhere.
So I tiptoed into the room, leaving the door open so there would be enough light for me to see where I was going in the darkened space.
I rounded the large bed until I stood on the empty side which remained undisturbed as Eli curled up way on the other edge. A mischievous smile spread across my face as I leapt onto the bed.
“Eli! Wake up!” I laughed loudly as I landed on the soft mattress on my knees and then jumped up and down on them to shake the bed even more.
Eli gasped as he leapt awake and sat bolt upright. His eyes were wide as he turned and looked to me with so much confusion and panic.
“Fuck! Addy…wh…what?” he spluttered as he ran a hand over his face and looked at me again.
“It’s after nine. You slept in.” I told him with a smile as I moved to cross my legs so I could face him better.
“What? Are you okay?” he asked as he tried to work out what was going on. Who could blame him for being confused? Last time he’d seen me I’d been near catatonic. Now I was joking and smiling with him. Poor guy .
“I’m good. Are you? Did you sleep?” There was stubble on his jaw and dark smudges under his eyes.
“Some,” he nodded. “Are you sure you’re alright? I was so worried about you last night.”
“I’m having a good morning,” I shrugged with a half-smile. “I ate last night and got some more sleep. Maybe I’m not okay, but I’m going to hang onto this calm for as long as I can.”
“I’m so sor…”
“Nope.” I jumped up and pressed a finger to his lips, cutting him off. “Don’t, okay? No apologies. You are not your father, Eli. I told Asher, and I’ll tell you too – I know nothing he did was anything to do with either of you. He was a bastard, and I’m glad he’s dead,” I went on. “We need to try to forget him, and move on, okay?”
“Easier said than done,” he grumbled.
“I know, for me too, but he’s in the past now, and I want to focus on right now. I’m safe. I have amazing brothers, good friends, and a chance to build a whole new future. I survived, and I won’t let him take that, or anything else from me, especially not you or Asher. I love you, Eli. I could never have wished for more amazing brothers than the two of you. You’re both stuck with me now.”
“I love you too, shortcake,” he told me with a watery smile. “Even if you did nearly give me a heart attack,” he added with a laugh.
“It was fun. I’m totally doing that to Asher next!”
“You have to wake me so I can watch that,” he chuckled.
“Deal,” I agreed. “Now, get up and get ready. Asher said you guys are staying home today and I know what I want to do.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ll find out. Dress warm,” I replied, then I hurried from the room, closing the door behind me. I smiled to myself as I moved down the stairs, relieved that I’d had that talk with Eli. I never wanted him hurting, especially because of me. I was just relieved he had been laughing and smiling when I left him. Now to worry more about Asher. He wasn’t as alright as he made out and I knew it. It was my turn to be there for him and I was determined I would be.
***
“You want to build a snowman?” Adam chuckled once I had dragged them all out to the snow covered yard after breakfast.
“Not just any snowman. A huge one. It needs to be taller than Ash,” I explained.
“It’s freezing, Addy. You should be inside,” Asher sighed.
“We’ll warm up once we get working,” I argued. “Please. I’ve never built one before. I never had time as a kid, and a grown woman can’t exactly go to the park to build one alone. It’ll be fun,” I pleaded. I just wanted us all to do something together. We needed to get out of our heads, especially Ash, Eli and I. The memory that I had recovered the previous day had the power to break us all and I didn’t want to allow that to happen.
I knew it was ridiculous to drag them all out there to build a damned snowman when there was so much chaos going on around us, but I needed a break from it, and from the turmoil in my head. I suspected Ash and Eli did too. Even Jordan and Adam looked exhausted and stressed with worry for all of us. We just needed a time out from all of the mess and pain.
I had considered an outing, but Asher was never relaxed when we left the property, always worried about a threat and everyone’s safety. At least there, in his own yard with security surrounding us, he could relax and have fun. We all could, or at least try to.
“I’m in!” Jordan agreed eagerly, and I sent him a grateful smile.
“Me too, but you need to tell us if you get too cold, and we’ll take a break and make hot chocolate, yeah?” Adam reluctantly offered.
“Never gonna turn down hot chocolate,” I agreed happily, then I looked to Eli.
“You know I’m in. I can never say no to you,” Eli sighed. “But Adam’s right. You need to tell us when you’re too cold.”
“I have some calls I need to make,” Asher spoke up. “They really can’t wait,” he added when I gave him puppy dog eyes.
“Come on, bud. A couple of hours won’t hurt. Let’s just all relax and have some fun.” Adam slapped a hand on Asher’s shoulder as he spoke.
“Please, Asher,” I begged when he looked to me with reluctance again. “I just want to forget for a little while. Please.”
“Okay,” he gave in with a single nod. “Where do we start?”
***
“It’s still not straight,” I told Adam and Asher. They’d just worked together to hoist the huge snowball Jordan, Eli, and I had rolled for the middle of the body. It was so heavy it had taken the both of them to get it on top of the other two balls we’d already built.
“Addy, it’s snow, not bricks. I don’t think you can get it straight, honey,” Adam chuckled while Asher just shook his head. He was trying to remain stoic, but I’d seen him smiling earlier when we were all working together and laughing as we struggled through the deep snow. He was relaxed and it was everything I had wanted for him that morning.
“Come on, princess. Let’s start working on the head. The others can make the last part of the body,” Jordan said as he linked his arm through mine and led me to an area of undisturbed snow.
We were all wrapped up in coats, hats, and gloves, since it was a bitterly cold morning, but I hardly felt it. My cheeks were heated and I had barely stopped smiling since we started. I was having more fun than I ever remembered and it was a perfect calm in the eye of the storm we were all in the midst of.
I glanced behind me and saw Asher directing Eli and Adam as they crawled through the snow like kids, rolling another huge ball. Asher was pointing and telling them how they should do it. He couldn’t hide his smirk though, in fact all three of them were smiling, and after the events of the night before, it was a gift.
“Hey! I thought you were helping with this?” Jordan called playfully from where he was starting to roll a ball too, also on his knees in the deep snow.
“I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a twist,” I teased as I dropped down beside him.
“My panties?” he repeated with a playful scowl.
“How do I know what you wear? You seem like a guy who’d like the feel of lace on his bare butt,” I shrugged playfully, barely holding in my giggle.
“That’s it!” he declared as he abandoned what he’d been doing and scooped up a handful of snow.
“No, Jordan. Don’t you dare!” I got to my feet and moved to run just as the impact of the cold snowball hit the back of my head. I turned to him with my mouth agape and he was just grinning brightly.
“You did not just start a snowball fight with me!” I sent him a glare, the best I could muster.
“I went there, princess. What’re you gonna do about it?” he asked as he rose to his feet in one elegant movement, and opened his arms wide in invitation.
“It’s on now. You better start running,” I teased as I bent down and grabbed as much snow as I could. I rolled a snowball, but it was pretty tiny compared to the huge one he’d thrown at me. Still I looked up, and found him stood watching me with so much glee and mischief in his eyes. I launched my ball hitting him in the middle of his chest, and he just laughed. The impact was pretty pathetic, I had to admit.
“Maybe you should start running now, babe,” he told me as he started on his next snowball which looked huge.
I was laughing so hard I could barely run as I started taking wide, fast strides through the deep snow.
“Back up!” I cried with a giggle. “I need back up!” I ran towards the others who had all gotten to their feet to see what was going on.
“They can’t save you now, beautiful,” Jordan chuckled, just as the huge snowball landed on the side of my head.
“Oh, little brother. You just declared war,” Adam called, and Jordan just laughed already working on more snowballs.
“And we’re all on team Addy,” Eli added.
“You traitor, Adam!” Jordan yelled, then a snowball was flying right for Adam’s head. His fast reflexes had him dodging it at the last second, then they were all running for Jordan and taking aim at him. He retreated, but not fast enough and within seconds he was hit square in the face by Eli, who just laughed his ass off at the great shot.
I joined in, attacking Jordan and hiding behind one of the others every time he took aim at me. Even Asher had joined in and he was amazing at getting the best hits on Jordan.
Eventually, exhausted I had to stop just so I could breathe. I bent over and braced my hands on my knees, my whole body aching. But it had been so worth it. The snowman was only half done, but I’d had the most amazing time and I couldn’t stop smiling.
“You okay, baby?” Adam asked as he jogged over and crouched before me.
“Yeah. Just tired,” I assured him with a full smile. “That was so much fun.”
“It was. It was a great idea to get everyone out here. We needed it,” he agreed. “Let’s head in and make some hot chocolate, okay?”
“Sounds good.” I stood and took Adam’s offered hand. Even through the both of our gloves I felt the power of his grip around my hand and I loved it. Every time he touched me, all I ever felt was safe and secure.
“Come on guys. Let’s head in!” Adam called loudly to the others who were still horsing around. Instantly they all stopped and looked up.
“Are you okay, Addy?” Asher, who was closest to me, asked.
“Just ready for some hot chocolate,” I replied with the smile I just couldn’t seem to take from my face.
He approached me and wrapped his arm across my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I kept hold of Adam’s hand too, not wanting to lose the connection to him.
“Did you have fun?” Asher asked.
“Yes. Did you?”
“I did. I’m glad you forced me into this. Thanks, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of my head and there was still a gentle smile on his face as I looked up to him. I wanted to see him relaxed like that so much more often, and I decided, there and then, I’d work hard to do just that.
***
The lightness of the morning so far continued as we all settled at the kitchen counter in dry clothes and feeling much warmer. Adam had made us all hot chocolate and coffee. A plate filled with home baked chocolate chip cookies laid between us and we were just laughing and joking together.
I grabbed a cookie and sank back in my seat happily as I started to nibble on it. Adam and Jordan were having a hilarious debate about the fact Adam had taken my side over his brothers, during the snowball fight. It just all felt so normal. The noise in my head and my out of control thoughts were all quiet and I just felt relaxed and at ease, safe with all of these people who really seemed to care about me. It was more than I could ever have wished to have, and, even though I knew the noise and madness would return eventually, I was happy to just bask for as long as I could for the time being.
“Sorry, bro, but Addy’s just prettier than you,” Adam joked as he turned to me with a smile. He was sat beside me, so close I could feel the heat from his body. Part of me just wanted to crawl into his lap, curl up and close my eyes while I had so much peace within, but I wasn’t that brave, especially not in front of Jordan who’s lap I would be equally happy to curl up in.
“Hey! I’m pretty too. Tell them, princess,” Jordan demanded with mock outrage, making me smile over to where he sat beside Eli.
“Sorry. I think that snowball to my head might have scrambled my brain. Did you say you were pretty?” I teased.
“Just you remember who started the whole thing!” he accused.
“I do. It was you,” I laughed.
“You’re never gonna win, Jord. Best to just admit defeat now,” Eli chuckled as he slapped his friend on the back good naturedly.
When the kitchen door slid open, the laughter died down, as we all turned to look at Kane walking in. I knew instantly that the expression on his face could not mean anything good.
“Sorry to interrupt. I need a word, boss,” Kane said solemnly.
“What’s happened?” I asked. Kane looked to me and I saw pain even though he was trying hard to keep his face neutral. He couldn’t hide that pain and panic in his eyes though. I knew it too well.
“I’ll be right back,” Asher said as he got to his feet, but I reached out and grabbed his arm.
“No. If this has something to do with me, or what happened, I want to know,” I demanded.
“Addy…” Eli tried, but I cut him off.
“Does this have to do with me, Kane?” I demanded firmly as I stared right at him. Kane looked to Asher for approval, which just annoyed me, but before I could say anything, Asher nodded just once. Kane’s eyes returned to me.
“I went to the house, your father’s house. I just wanted to scope it out and see if there was anything there before the FBI go in,” he began.
“You found something.” I swallowed deeply after I forced the words out. It wasn’t a question. The answer was already written in those deep, haunted eyes.
“Yes. In the basement there was a false wall.”
“Fuck!” Asher hissed as he fell heavily back down into his chair.
“Was it like the rooms they found at the senators place?” Eli asked.
Kane looked to me and that neutral, calm expression on his face disappeared as his features twisted with regret. He was worried about telling me what came next.
“J-just tell us. I can handle it,” I told him, almost pleading. I knew deep down I shouldn’t want to know, but I had to. I had to have the truth no matter how much more it messed me up.
“There was a cell. It was soundproof. Solid iron door and electronic locks. No one would have a chance of escaping it. I couldn’t even get it open, but there were cameras and I managed to access the live feed on the laptop down there.”
“Jesus, Kane! Please don’t tell me…” Asher stopped talking as he leaned over like he was going to get sick.
“There’s a body in there. I’m so sorry. It looks like a woman, but decomposition already started. I think she probably died of dehydration down there,” Kane reluctantly said.
“Oh God!” Eli’s chair slammed to the ground and he was running through the house.
“Eli!” Asher gasped as he got to his feet, but then froze when he looked to me.
“Go. I…I’m okay,” I whispered, knowing he was torn. I could hear Eli violently retching from across the house. My own stomach was rolling too, and I felt like all of the blood had drained from my body.
“We’ve got her,” Adam added as he wrapped his arm around me.
I was relieved when Asher went to Eli. I didn’t want him to be alone when he was so upset. They needed each other.
“Addy, take a breath for me, baby,” Adam coaxed gently. Jordan had moved into the seat at my other side and he was holding my hands, rubbing them soothingly. I didn’t realize until I looked down at our joined hands, how violently I was shaking.
I lifted my head and found Kane stood opposite me, across the counter. He was leaning as close as he could, so close I could smell his comforting aftershave.
“Did…did you c-call the police. That girl…she could h-have a family?” I stuttered shakily.
“The FBI are there now. They’ll handle everything,” Kane assured me.
“He left her there,” I whimpered. “He left her to die. How c-could he do that?”
“He was a sick fuck, Addy. All he ever cared about was himself and what he wanted. I don’t think he’d even have considered the girl he left dying in his basement. He’d have only been worried about himself as he was dying,” Jordan explained through clenched teeth. He was angry. They all were, I realized as I looked between them. Hell, I was angry too.
It could have been me, I realized. I could have been locked in a cage and no one would ever have known I was there if anything had happened to that senator who held me.
Images of the captives I’d seen at the parties played through my mind. Had the girl been there? Was she one of the way too young teenagers I had seen knelt at the feet of their monster, or being dragged around on a leash? Whoever she was, her life had ended in a way that had to have been so terrifying and brutal, I couldn’t even comprehend. To lay in a cell, starving to death, desperate for water, wasting away, and knowing no one was coming? I couldn’t even imagine how terrifying that had to be.
The realization that a man I shared DNA with had done that to some innocent woman had me feeling violently sick. How could he do that? He was a monster and I just thanked God that I had never truly had to know him. If he were still alive at that moment I was pretty sure I was filled with enough rage to tear him to shreds with my bare hands.
“I need to check on Ash and Eli,” I whispered as I moved from the grip of Adam and Jordan, and slid to my feet. My brothers had been raised by that monster and I knew, as hard as the horror was hitting me, it had to be even worse for them. They’d grown up in that home, their father torturing innocents in the basement, possibly the entire time.
“Stay with Jordan. I can check on them,” Adam offered as he got up and tried to stop me where I stood.
“No.” I looked up to him through my watery eyes. “I need to do this. I need to be with them.”
“Okay, but let me walk with you. You’re shaking,” Adam pushed, and I nodded, taking his offered hand.
When we reached the downstairs restroom off of the entrance hall, we found Asher and Eli on the floor. Eli had his head on Asher’s shoulder and his body was shaking with quiet sobs as he clung to his brother’s side. Asher had his arm tightly wrapped around Eli, the pair of them squeezed into the tight space between the sink and the wall. Asher’s face was pale and filled with pain, but he remained in control of his emotions as always. When he held his hand out to me I left Adam at the door and went to them, more tears already filling my eyes at the sight of them both looking so distraught.
“I’ll be close if you need anything,” Adam said quietly.
“Thanks, brother,” Asher replied, his voice sounding rough.
Asher pulled me closer and then I was in his lap, wrapping my arms, one around Eli and the other around Asher’s neck. I gripped them both tightly and pressed my face against Eli’s shoulder. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think there was anything any of us could say. The man who had fathered all of us was evil, and there had been nothing any of us could have done to stop him, yet we all felt so much guilt for the life of that poor innocent girl who had died so close to all of us.
I don’t know how long we just sat there. Eli and I were crying for a while as Asher just held us, soothing us with his stoic strength, even though I knew he had to be as confused and hurt as we were. Eventually Eli stilled and then he was holding me more than I was holding him.
“I’m going to handle this,” Asher eventually broke the silence. His voice was still sounding rough and I wondered if he had shed some tears of his own as he worked so hard to hold Eli and I together. “I won’t allow it to touch either of you. I’ll take care of it with the cops and the press.” I looked up at him and hated the emotion I saw looking back. Guilt. He had nothing to feel guilty about, but he was taking all of this on himself, just as he always took everything.
“No.” I was firm as I pulled myself free of both of their arms and sat up. My tears had stopped a while ago, but my voice still trembled. I looked to Eli who was sitting up too. We shared a look, then he nodded, understanding what I was about to say and agreeing silently. “We’re not letting you take this all on your shoulders. In fact we’re done letting you deal with anything alone. We’re a team, Asher. That bastard shares DNA with all of us. We’re all going to deal with this head on, together.”
“She’s right, Ash. I’ve hidden behind you for too long. It’s not happening anymore. Whatever comes next – whatever happens – we’re in it together, the three of us.”
“The five of us,” Adam added as he stepped into the doorway with Jordan at his side.
“We’re a family and we’re sticking together,” Jordan agreed, sounding so serious for him.
“While I appreciate all of your support, this is going to be bad. Once the press gets a hold if it, they’re going to tear Eli and I to shreds in the news. They’ll tie Addy to us, then everything with the senator and whatever else you’ve been through could come to light in a major way, sweetheart,” Asher explained as his eyes landed on me. “I won’t be able to stop any of that, but I will damn well protect you all from it for as long as I can.”
“The press will figure out who I am eventually anyway,” I shrugged. “And if everything comes out, then I’ll deal with it. I’m not strong or tough. I don’t have much to offer, but I am proud to be your sister, and a part of this amazing family. I refuse to let either of you face any of this without me right there at your side.” I told them resolutely.
“The press are going to try and make us out to be monsters too,” Asher sighed.
“Fuck the press. We know we’re not, and so do the people who matter to us,” Eli retorted.
“The business…”
“Fuck the business, Asher. We’ll break it up and sell it off. I hate it. You hate it. Why are we even trying to keep it going?” Eli barked, shocking me.
“I don’t know,” Asher whispered. He ran his hand over his exhausted looking face, then looked at me. “I don’t want to be a part of anything to do with Joesph Lyle anymore. Eli’s right.”
“Then do what he said and sell it all off. You guys are so smart. You can do anything you want. You’re not him , Asher, and you certainly don’t have anything to prove to the sick monster now either,” I told him.
Asher took a deep breath and looked between all of us, including Adam and Jordan who remained in the doorway.
“This won’t be easy. We’ll need even more security until things die down. The FBI could start digging into all of our lives,”
“Let them. We have nothing to hide,” Adam shrugged.
“We don’t care if it’s not easy. We don’t care about cops, or the press or any other bullshit that comes from this. All we care about is being there for all of you. We’ve got your backs, just like you’ve had ours so many times before,” Jordan added.
“It’s not like things can get anymore messed up anyway, right?” I tried to joke.
“She’s right,” Eli agreed with a half-smile.
“Come on. Come and eat. I made Lunch,” Adam said as he reached for my hand to pull me up. “Whatever happens next, happens. We’ll all deal with it, together.” Asher stood too, but didn’t move from where he leaned against the wall.
“I just need you all to be safe,” Asher said, his voice trembling slightly, which was so unlike him.
“We will be, brother. We’ll all make sure of it, yeah?” Adam stepped forward and placed his free hand on Asher’s shoulder, squeezing it supportively.
“Yeah.” Asher took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling. When he looked back down and his eyes met mine again, he seemed to have gathered himself. He reached a hand out to Eli and pulled him to his feet too, then we all headed for the kitchen.
Things were about as dark and messed up as they could be, and I’d have been a fool not to be terrified. But I wasn’t alone. I had a family and I knew together we’d find a way to face whatever came. I just hoped I could keep myself as strong as I was pretending to be in that moment.