CHAPTER 16
ADDY
“Like this?” I pulled my attention away from drooling over how hot and sexy Jordan looked, playing basketball with a half dozen kids off to the side of where I sat.
We were at the youth center, which Jordan had volunteered at a few times since we discussed the subject over a week ago. He had finally persuaded Asher and Kane to let me tag along with him. They’d been reluctant because they feared I was still in danger, but they had finally given in that afternoon.
I’d spent most of the day continuously convincing everyone that I really was okay after my dive into the pool. Of course Asher had told them, and that had opened up a whole new can of worms, all three of my guys and my brothers fussing over me constantly, Asher asking repeatedly if I shouldn’t get checked out by a doctor. I’d been so relieved to get out of there.
The center I sat in was actually a converted church. Inside it was just one wide open space with a basketball court, some tables - one of which I sat at - and some other activities like pool tables, air hockey, a small area of gym equipment, and some tv’s set up with old gaming consoles.
Jordan had given me a quick tour when we arrived, showing me the small kitchen in the back, some toilets, and men’s and women’s shower and changing rooms. That was the whole place, and yet it was clearly in demand. It was only early evening and the place was crammed with kids of all ages ranging from around eight or nine years old, right up to senior high school students. They seemed to congregate in groups, taking advantage of what was available and scarfing down the snacks laid out by the woman who ran the place – Rita. She was an older woman, in her late fifties, I guessed. She had been friendly and welcoming when we arrived, but she didn’t mess around chatting. She put is to work, then bustled off to continue whatever she’d been doing.
When the kids had arrived, Rita had really shown her strength, instantly wrangling the most rambunctious kids to settle down, and keeping an eye on them all constantly.
Jordan had started the basketball game, and I had offered to help some kids who had come to get their homework done in a place that was apparently quieter than their homes. I dreaded to think what went on in there homes if the madness in that center was quieter.
But the kids all seemed happy and relaxed, pleased to have a place to go so they could escape home and not hang out on the streets, which Jordan had explained could be dangerous in the neighborhood we were in.
“Yep. That looks perfect,” I replied to Emma – the young girl who had shyly asked me to help her with some math problems. “Now try the next couple in the same way. I think you’ve got it,” I added with a bright smile. The young girl blushed and nodded shyly as she settled back into her seat and got to work.
I saw what Jordan saw as I sat there taking the whole center in. It was a place for the kids to retreat to and feel safe. They got to be kids for a while in that center. I knew what it was like to need that. I’d never gotten time to just be a kid when I was younger. I had always been my mom’s carer, and her primary target and outlet for the pain she suffered, and bitterness and anger it caused. There had been so many times in my childhood and teens that I would have gotten so much relief and delight from finding a safe place to go, just like the one I sat in - a sanctuary just to stop and get a breath in. A place where I could hide from reality and just pretend I was any other teen for a short while. It was a haven for the kids who went there and I fully understood now why Jordan wanted to open something similar.
I had been watching him interact with the kids all night, and he was a natural. They loved him, the younger kids keen to listen when he spoke and learn from him, and the older kids comfortable enough with him to joke and laugh. He was made for this environment. His patience, compassion, and understanding was exactly what these kids needed, but he also knew when he needed to stamp down some authority to settle things down.
When Jordan turned to me from the basketball game, and smiled brightly, I lit up inside. Ever since he, Adam, Kane, and I all agreed to see how things went between us, it was like my body had permission to feel even more whenever I was anywhere near any of them. Parts of my body I didn’t even realize could come alive, had so many times over the last few days. Every time I looked at one of them, my heart would skip a beat, or at least it felt that way. I felt lighter just to know that they wanted me just as much as I wanted them, and even though the prospect of our future terrified me, I found myself smiling so much more, like right then when I couldn’t help but return Jordan’s beaming smile.
As Jordan refocused on the game again, I glanced behind me to where Kane was standing sentry in the corner, refusing to allow me out of his sight. I sent him a smile when our eyes met. He looked kind of dark and dangerous in his all black outfit – black jeans, that I knew his ass looked amazing in - since I had sneaked a peak before we left home - with a form fitting black t-shirt that outlined his firm, muscled body beneath, and his leather jacket that concealed his gun underneath. I knew if I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist like I wanted, his jacket would feel soft and supple in my hands, and he’d smell amazing as the leather smell mixed with the masculine, musky aftershave he favored.
He shook his head a little at me, but I saw the hint of a smile cross his face as he indicated for me to focus on the task at hand.
“Which one is your boyfriend?” I looked up and realised the kid sat opposite me was watching me with some confusion. I thought his name was Finn, but I wasn’t sure. I’d met so many kids in the hours we’d been there. I did know he was working on a Romeo and Juliet essay for his English Lit class, and he was struggling. He was the oldest kid sat at the table with me, and I had to admit, he had made me a little nervous when he first sat down. He was significantly taller than me and just his presence had triggered my anxiety. The kid wasn’t to blame for that of course. That was my fear and insecurities eating at me and finding a way in.
“Kinda nosey, aren’t you?” I replied with a smile. “How’s that essay coming on?” I wanted to change the subject. The guys and I hadn’t discussed what we were going to say about our relationship in public, and while I had no issue being honest, I wasn’t sure how Jordan would feel on the matter.
“It’s fine,” he grunted as he slammed his copy of the book over his notebook so I couldn’t see how far he’d gotten.
“How are you getting on with Shakespeare? Not the easiest thing to read, huh?” I asked, trying to step gently and hopefully get him to admit he could use some help.
“Fine, I guess.”
“You know I could try and help if you need any? I’m no expert but I studied it in high school too,” I offered.
“What? Like twenty years ago?” he quipped back, his frown turning into a smart assed grin as he looked up at me.
“More like fifty. I look good for my age, right?”
“Whatever,” he dismissed me as he got to his feet and grabbed his books. “I don’t need no help anyway. I gotta go.”
“Hey. Hold up!” I called as I jumped up and ran after him. Jees, the kid was fast! He stopped and turned to look at me. “Will you be back tomorrow? I could find some materials to try and help with the essay?”
“I said I don’t need help,” he grunted.
“Okay. No problem, but I’ll be here with the materials on Romeo and Juliet tomorrow anyway. You know, incase you change your mind?” I said with a shrug. He met my eyes and seemed to be debating internally.
“Maybe,” he eventually said with another shrug. I watched as he turned and walked off , but I’d definitely take the ‘maybe’ as a little progress.
I continued to help the remaining kids finish up their homework, than I got dragged into a driving game on one of the consoles, with a few of the younger kids. I was absolutely terrible at it, but the kids were all having a ton of fun laughing at me, as they tried to help out.
By the time the center closed up at nine P.M. I was exhausted, but smiling as I helped with the clean-up. I’d had a great afternoon and evening there, during which I’d been able to forget about most of my own issues and just focus on something meaningful and productive. I liked that and I couldn’t wait to do it again.
“How’d it go, princess?” Jordan asked as he came to find me after taking the trash out to the dumpster.
“Good. I really enjoyed it. I need to come back tomorrow. I promised a couple of the kids I’d find some extra materials to help with assignments they have.”
“You looked like you were having fun,” he told me as he pulled me into his side and held me there.
“I was, though not as much fun as those kids laughing at my driving skills on that game thing,” I laughed as I wrapped my arm over his waist and hugged him too. “I see why you want to set something like this up. It’s important to the kids who come here. Every kid should have something like this to retreat to.”
“I’m pleased to hear you say that. I kinda thought you’d changed your mind about getting involved in my project, with all that’s going on.”
“No way. I’m definitely in, Jordan. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my future, but if I can be a part of something like this, it would be amazing.” I assured him.
“We can do it together,” he told me with a bright smile and hope in his eyes. “I already lined up a few spaces across the city to look at. Will you come with me?”
“Already? What about funding?”
“I have enough from my inheritance to get the place opened, and up and running. Adam said he’d help too. After that it’ll be easier to get funding if we can show donors how much good we can do,” Jordan explained.
“I want to help too. Asher and Eli are forcing the money from the business and the inheritance on me, and I don’t want it. But if I can put it into this, it’ll be used for good. I can live with that.”
“Fuck babe. That’ll be a lot of money. You can’t put it all into this project. What if it fails?” he sighed.
“It won’t. We won’t let it,” I answered with no doubt. “Now, when do we look at the buildings?”
Jordan took me by surprise when he grabbed my hips and lifted me, moving me until I was stood before him, looking up into his brown, gold flecked eyes.
“I need to kiss you, Addy,” he whispered as he cupped my face between his hands. My breath stuttered as relief and excitement flooded me in equal measure. I’d been waiting for this moment and I wanted it urgently.
“Then kiss me,” I whispered as I automatically lifted onto my tiptoes, needing to be closer to his lips. I refused to wait any longer. Jordan wanted to kiss me and I needed him to.
Then his lips pressed against mine, firm and warm. He kissed me once, twice, then I was opening to him, needing more. I almost squeaked with relief when his tongue stole into my mouth and teased along the surface of my own. When he pulled back, I followed and deepened the kiss, exploring his mouth in return. He tasted like mint, and the scent of his spicy aftershave mixed with a little sweat, from how hard he’d been pushing on the basketball court, wrapped around me. I pushed my hands into his hair and clung to him, not wanting the moment to end, and he continued to cup my cheeks, holding me just as close, as the heated kiss continued.
The sound of a door slamming was what caused us to remember where we were and pull apart. I looked around and was relieved to see Kane just walking in from the lobby area. At least he hadn’t been stood watching the whole thing.
“We about ready to go?” Kane asked as he looked up from his cell to the both of us.
I smiled shyly up at Jordan. The kiss had been amazing, and I knew I must look all flushed and a little flustered as reality kicked back in.
“Yeah. We’re good,” Jordan replied as he wrapped my hand in his and led me towards the exit. Kane pulled my coat from under his arm and wrapped it tightly around my shoulders. I didn’t bother to slide my arms in, not ready to release Jordan’s hand even for a moment.
“Thanks,” I said to Kane as I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek quickly. He smiled a little, making the moment that much more perfect for me. I couldn’t take the smile from my face as I exited the old church with Jordan at one side and Kane at my other. I couldn’t wait to get home to Adam. The three of them were everything I never knew I needed.
***
“Jord? Addy?” Adam called the second Kane closed the front door of the house after we walked in.
“Hey,” I called back, detecting some worry in his voice. He came around the corner and instantly locked his eyes on mine. I was right, he looked stressed out, and I knew he’d probably been worrying about us all since the moment we’d left the house, despite the fact Kane had been with us the entire time, along with additional security.
“Take a chill pill, Ad. She’s fine,” Jordan laughed as he passed his brother and clapped a hand down on his shoulder.
“We were worried. We didn’t realize you’d be back so late,” Adam told me.
“Sorry. The session didn’t finish until nine, and I wanted to stay and help clean up afterwards,” I explained as I pulled off my boots, then walked up and wrapped my arms around his waist, hoping to soothe him. “I should have sent a text.”
“As long as you’re okay.” He held me tightly and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“I’m good. I really enjoyed it.”
“Come and tell us all about it. We ordered in some Chinese take out and I’ve been keeping it warm while we waited for you all.”
“I should head to the office and check in,” Kane said awkwardly. I released the arm I had wrapped around Adam and turned to face Kane.
“Come eat with us all first. Whatever you need to check can wait a while, can’t it?” I implored. If we were ever going to make this relationship work, Kane would need to get used to spending more time with all of us, and less time alone. I wasn’t going to push him too hard for now, but I wanted to at least try and get him to stay.
“Come on, bud. You gotta be starving? I know I am,” Jordan added and I was so grateful for his support.
“Let’s go. Ash is going to lose his shit if we don’t eat soon,” Adam chuckled as he waved a hand at Kane, urging him to follow behind Jordan into the kitchen.
“Thank you,” I whispered to Adam as I reached up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek, before we followed behind Kane.
“Finally!” Asher cried as we walked into the kitchen. He was sat at the island, his laptop open before him. Eli was at the kitchen table at the back of the room, his sketch pad, and a few pencils on the table before him, and his cell in hand. “I was about to send out a search party.”
“You guys are getting way too dramatic in your old age. I told you we wouldn’t be back until after nine,” Jordan said with a roll of his eyes, pointing an accusing finger between Adam and Asher.
“It’s almost ten,” Adam threw back.
“Did you have fun, shortcake?” Eli asked as he got to his feet and pushed his phone into the pocket of his paint splattered jeans. He approached me and placed a kiss on my cheek before diverting towards the refrigerator.
“I did. That place is amazing and the kids were all really polite and well behaved. I helped some of them out with homework, then the younger kids had me playing on one of those games consoles,” I blurted all at once, a genuine smile on my face.
“The kids loved her. She was a natural with them,” Jordan added with a wink at me.
“Did you tell her about the project you want to start up?” Adam asked, looking to Jordan.
“I did, and Addy wants to be part of it.”
“I definitely do. I know how some of those kids must feel. I know what it is to just need a safe place where you get to forget everything and be a kid for a bit. I want to offer places like that for them. If I’d had somewhere to go like that when I was growing up, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so afraid and alone all of the time,” I explained. “The money we talked about…” I went on as I glanced to Asher and Eli. “…if you insist on me taking it, I want to put it into Jordan’s project. It’s important to me.”
“Of course, Addy. If that’s what you want, then I think it’s a great idea. I was planning to contribute myself. I failed to help you when you needed me as a kid, but maybe I can help other kids like you,” Asher said, and once again guilt flashed across his features.
“Actually Ash, I was hoping, since you’ll be a free agent soon, that you might help me out with the business side of things, just while we get up and running. I have loads of plans for the center, but the actual permits, contracts, and paperwork crap isn’t really my strong point,” Jordan cut in.
“Absolutely. I’d be happy to. I’m going to need something to focus on once the sale is handled,” Asher agreed.
“I can help too, if you still want me to do some art work around the place,” Eli said as he looked to Jordan.
“That’s an awesome idea. The place needs to be colorful and inviting. Maybe you could do some art classes too, Eli? I bet the kids would love to do something creative,” I jumped in, my excitement for this new focus only building more and more.
“Sure. That sounds good,” Eli agreed.
“It’s good to see you looking so excited about something, baby,” Adam commented. I turned to look up at where he still stood close behind me and smiled brightly.
“It feels good,” I told him and I hoped the real, full smile on my face showed him just how good I was feeling right then too. “Let’s eat. It smells amazing.”
We all set to work gathering the take out from where it had been keeping warm in the oven, plates, cutlery and drinks, then a matter of minutes later we all sat around the table diving into the various cartons. My success at the center with the kids, and my excitement at the new project had given me an appetite and I was starving.
“Yum! What was this called again? This is definitely my favorite!” I declared as I held up a piece of the spicy chicken that I was eating and thoroughly enjoying, before popping it into my mouth.
“That’s the kung pao,” Adam answered, pointing out the red box near the center of the table that contained what was left. Before I could ask him to hand it over, Kane had snatched it up and put it next to my plate.
“There’s kung pao?” Jordan asked as he glanced up, pausing the inhalation of his food to look around. “Pass it over, princess.”
“No!” Kane snapped when I moved to grab the box to hand across the table. “It’s the first damned time I’ve seen you eat more than two forkfuls of anything. If you like that, it’s yours. Finish it,” he told me. It all came across sounding a little caveman, but I couldn’t help the smile that flashed across my face at the sweet gesture.
“She’s never going to eat the whole thing,” Jordan laughed as he made a move to get up and grab the box.
“Sit down, asshole!” Kane snapped as he held his fork up toward Jordan in warning.
“He’s right. I think you’ll survive with the mountain of food you already have, Jord,” Adam chuckled.
“I’m good to share. Jordan’s right. There’s heaps left in here,” I offered as I held up the box.
“Eat what you can, baby. It’s good to see you enjoying something, though it does make me question my own cooking.” The table broke out into laughter at that comment.
“Adam, your cooking is awesome. I just never really feel like eating. I guess today’s a good day,” I shrugged as I reached to where he sat beside me and placed my hand on his wide, denim covered thigh.
“Maybe this is a good time to address the elephant in the room,” Asher spoke up, and when I looked to him with alarm, he smiled gently. What could he have to tell us now? What else could have gone wrong in the hours I’d been gone? “Don’t look so worried, sweetheart. I just meant the four of you. It’s clear something has changed between you.”
My worry turned to embarrassment as my face burned with a fiery blush. I glanced to Eli, but he didn’t seem mad, and Asher was still smiling a little as he awaited an answer.
“I was going to talk to you, Ash. There just hasn’t been time with everything that’s happened,” Adam rushed to say.
“Addy spoke with us about it the other morning, so we knew something was going on,” Eli clarified.
“I’m sorry. I know we should have spoken with you first, but it just sort of happened,” Adam added as he looked between my brothers with regret.
“Addy?” I looked up at Asher and smiled shyly.
“We decided to give it a try,” I admitted.
“We’re moving really slow, Ash. We’d never do anything to hurt or upset Addy,” Jordan spoke up.
“And I’ve had extra security with us every time we leave the house. Nothing would stop me from protecting her, but I…I made sure she was covered anyway,” Kane said as he looked to Asher with guilt.
“I know it’s unconventional, but I have feelings for the three of them, and I couldn’t ever choose between them. I want to be with them all. It’s all so new and we…we don’t even know if it could work, but I…I’m happy right now. They make me feel happy and safe,” I tried to explain. My feelings for the three of them were so strong they were hard to put into words, as was the way I felt when I was near any of them, but I wanted my brothers to at least try and understand.
“We want you to be happy, sweetie. We’re never going to dictate what you can and can’t do,” Eli said.
“No, we’re not. You’re an adult, and I would never stand in the way of your choices. That doesn’t mean I won’t make sure you’re always cared for and protected though,” Asher continued.
“Ash, you know there’s nothing the three of us wouldn’t do to protect her,” Jordan offered and Asher nodded.
“I know, and I have no issue about this relationship as long as Addy’s content and happy. You’re the best men I know and I am positive you’ll take care of my sister as she deserves to be. I just don’t want any of you rushing it.” Asher turned his focus to me before he spoke again. “Addy, you’ve been through so much. I just want to be sure you know whatever happens, it goes at a pace you’re comfortable with. These guys may all be like brothers to me, but I won’t hesitate to break necks if they hurt you.”
“And I’ll help,” Eli grumbled as he sent a glare around the table to my guys. “Addy’s special. You fucker’s better remember that.”
Tears filled my eyes at the overwhelming emotion inside of me. Asher and Eli had just threatened bodily harm to protect me. I’d never had that before I met them. I’d never even had anyone who cared enough to take an interest in my life or what happened to me. I knew, deep down, of course. I had known since the day my brothers walked into that police station in Vegas and stood up for me, that they were protective and that they cared, but it still overwhelmed me every single time they showed it so very openly and boldly.
“We know, Eli,” Adam nodded as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side.
“I can’t promise to never hurt her,” Kane said. I looked over and met his eyes warily. “This relationship thing is new to me, especially with these two assholes involved.” He pointed between Adam and Jordan, who he was seated between. “I’m gonna screw up sometimes. We all know it. But I swear I will never do anything to intentionally hurt her, and I’ll always do everything I can to protect her and make her smile.”
“We all will,” Jordan agreed.
“You guys couldn’t let me get through one damned day without crying, could you?” I sniffled with a tearful smile as I looked between them all around the table.
“As long as they’re happy tears, beautiful,” Jordan told me as he reached across the table and covered my hands with his.
“They are.”
The realization was a bewildering one. How, in the chaos of all that had happened to me, with horrible memories coming back to me whenever they wanted, a possible threat hanging over my life, and the horror that had been discovered about the past of Joseph Lyle, was I sat at a table with my brothers and three men I was crazy about, smiling and crying happy tears? It was insane, but also such a huge relief. Maybe I could be okay, one day, I realized. Maybe with these amazing men at my back, and some focus in my future, I would be able to fight back the demons and the darkness within me enough to find a life I never in a million years dreamed would be possible for me. A life where I could balance my past trauma enough to find a present and future filled with family, love, and happiness. It was still tough to believe it was a possibility after everything, but that belief was becoming greater with every day that passed.