14
Charlotte
My parents live on the other side of town. The homes are larger here, and they have a white picket fence and a willow tree out front with a swing hanging from the branch.
Austin, his brother Casey, Jane, and I all rode our bikes up and down this street until it was too dark to see two feet in front of us.
I pull into the driveway and Charlie gets out of the car and races to the front door before I can climb out.
My mom is waiting at the entrance with a plateful of chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven. Her white hair is perfectly styled in a chignon and her blue blouse matches her blue pants.
“Charlie, you’ve gotten so big. I hardly recognized you.”
Charlie stands up straighter. “Really?”
She nods. “Yup, and your shoulders are broader, too.”
She lays it on pretty thick, considering she saw him only three days ago, but Charlie’s loving every second of it.
“Is that Charlie and Charlotte?” my dad asks from the living room.
Mom rolls her eyes. “Yes, Greg. Who else would it be?”
Her smile returns quickly when Charlie grabs two cookies and takes a huge bite of one.
“Eat up, baby. I made them just for you.”
“Thanks,” Charlie says around a mouthful of crumbled cookie.
“I thought you said you made them for me?” my dad shouts.
“I said I made them for the special man in my life, darling.”
“Well, now, that was sneaky of you.”
My mother winks before she sets the plate down in the kitchen.
“How have you been, dear?”
I take my jacket off and drape it over one of the kitchen chairs. “Fine.” I pull out the chair to sit. “Just tired lately.”
“Mmm.” Mom puts her hand on my forehead. “You don’t feel feverish.”
“I’m not. Just exhausted.”
My father appears in the kitchen doorway. His gray sweater is a little askew, but his salt and pepper hair is perfectly combed. “Hey honey, how are you?”
“Can’t you see that she’s tired, Greg? ”
I look up at her and purse my lips. “Mom, I’m pretty sure he’s asking out of concern, just like you did.”
“I know. I’m just worried about you, baby. Especially now that… now that… you know.”
“That deadbeat is back in town,” says my father, crossing his arms. “Why’s he staying so long this time, anyway?”
I peep down the hallway, but Charlie’s distracted by my father’s baseball paraphernalia. He could spend hours reading all the cards and clippings my father has accumulated over the years.
“Apparently, he wants to get to know Charlie.”
“What?!” my mother and father shout at the same time.
“Shh,” I say, tilting my head to make sure he’s still distracted. “I haven’t told Charlie who he is yet.”
“Well,” my father grumbles. “It’s not like he’s made it difficult for you. He’s been back, what, three times now, and this is the first time he’s tried to spend time with his boy? If you ask me, he’s got no right to talk to Charlie.”
“I agree, Dad. But I have no right to stop him. At least not without cause.”
“So, what’s his plan? Is he going to fight you for custody?” My mother twists the tea towel in front of her and I gently place my hand on top to stop her. “I don’t think so. But he’s taking us out to dinner tonight to get better acquainted.”
My mother’s eyes widen. “Really? You’re okay with this?”
“I’m not okay with it, Mom. I wish I didn’t have to make a choice, but I do. And for now, I won’t push Jason away if he wants to get to know Charlie, but I’m putting clear boundaries up. I told him he can’t tell him anything until we’re both ready to sit and have that discussion.”
“That’s good,” says my mother. “I like that.”
Dad nods. “Me, too. That was good thinking, honey.”
“Thanks. Now, you asked me to look at something?”
“Oh. Yes, yes. I almost forgot.” He stands and grabs an envelope from a pile on the counter. “I got this in the mail last week and don’t know what to do with it.”
I read through the letter and sigh. “Dad, you didn’t pay the phone bill again and they’re serving you a notice that they’ll cut you off by the end of the month.”
“But I never received the phone bill.”
“I told you months ago that they would email it to the account I set up on your new phone. Have you checked your email?”
“Is it on that phone you bought for your father, dear?”
“Yes. Where is your phone, Dad? ”
“It’s in the safe. Those phones are ridiculously expensive. I prefer my flip phone.”
“Yes, Dad. But you don’t have a laptop, so you’ve got to use it to retrieve your email. You can also do your banking on it, pay bills, talk to your brother in Michigan.”
My dad frowns. “I talk to Jerry all the time using the land line. I don’t need a smartphone to do that.”
“But you can video chat with him and see what he looks like.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Forget it. I’ll call the phone company and set up automatic billing for you from your bank account.”
“I don’t want you giving the phone company access to my bank account.”
“If you’re not willing to do online banking, then that’s the only other way.”
“I don’t understand. First, we had to stop sending them checks. Now they won’t mail me a bill. I have to assume what they’re billing me is correct?”
“They’ll email you a bill.”
“I don’t want an email. I want the bill.”
I drop my head in my hands and blow out a breath. I’ve been over this so many times with my parents, but they still don’t get it. But my parents have done so much for me. I would keep making the effort.
“Let’s get your phone, and I’ll show you again. ”
“Fine,” he grumbles.
*
I stay longer than I intended at my parents’ house, so by the time I pull into the driveway, Charlie and I only have ten minutes to change before we must leave for dinner.
I run my fingers across the dresses and blouses in my closet and pick a black blouse and dark blue jeans to wear. My hair is hopeless, so I pull it up into a loose bun. It looks messy but stylish, and I don’t hate it.
I also don’t bother with makeup because there isn’t much time and grab a lipstick to put on while I wait for the car to warm up.
“Charlie, it’s time to go,” I shout down the hall.
Sage walks out of her room and looks at me. “You’re looking a little pale. Are you sure you’re still up for dinner with him tonight?”
“I’d rather watch movies in my PJs, but it’s best to get this over with. I’m sure Jason will be bored soon and remember why he never wanted children.”
“You know, it’s not a bad thing if he took more of an interest. Then maybe he would feel guilty about not paying child support.”
This is a contentious issue between us. I wanted nothing to do with Jason after he left, not even legally. But as Charlie grows and wants to join sports teams, it is becoming more and more expensive. “You’re right. I will bring that up after dinner when Charlie’s not around.”
“Good.”
Charlie walks to the front door and grabs his jacket from the coat rack. “See you later, Aunt Sage.”
She pulls him in for a hug. “See you later, buddy.”
Surprisingly, Jason is already at the restaurant when Charlie and I show up. The hostess takes us to his table, and he stands to greet us.
“Hi Charlie,” he says, then looks up at me. “Thanks for coming.”
“Hello, Mr. Miller,” says Charlie, taking a seat opposite Jason.
“Please, call me…” he turns to me, and I shake my head slightly. Then he looks back at Charlie. “Call me Jason.”
Charlie nods and picks up the menu. “I’m starving. Can I order an appetizer, Mom?”
“Charlie,” I begin, but Jason cuts me off.
“Tonight’s my treat, and I think you should.”
Charlie’s eyes light up as he runs his finger down the appetizer list.
Leaning back in his seat with a grin on his face, Jason looks at me. “How have you been?”
“Fine, thank you. ”
“I see you’re still at the same elementary school.”
“Yes. Charlie goes there, so it works for me. How about you? Still working for the same law firm?”
He takes a sip of his drink, rum and coke if he’s sticking to an old favorite. “Eleven years next month.”
I nod, recalling how he landed his dream job while I was in my dorm reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
“How are your parents?”
“Fine.”
“They’re still not talking to me, you know.”
I shrug. “You never gave them much of a reason after you left.”
Jason sighs and looks at Charlie, whose eyes bounce from my face to Jason’s.
“How was your sister’s wedding? It was a few weeks ago, right?”
“Yes.” A smile returns to his face. “It was great. Her husband’s a good guy and my parents are happy that one of us has settled down.”
“That’s nice,” I say, looking around the restaurant, unsure what else to talk about.
The server walks up to our table, wearing all black with a black apron and her hair tied in a bun. “Are you ready to order?”
“Yes,” says Jason. “I’ll have the prime rib and a Caesar salad to start.” He sets his menu down and smiles at me and Charlie. I don’t know why it bothers me that he ordered first, but it does. Everything he does irritates me and I can’t help it.
“Charlie, what are you thinking?” I ask.
“Um… can I start with the… uh…”
The menu doesn’t have some of his favorites like nachos, so I suggest the fried calamari. “Okay, I’ll try those. And then I’ll have the New York steak.”
The server turns to me. “And for you, ma’am?”
“I’ll have your Cobb salad with grilled chicken, please.”
She takes our menus and walks away.
“So, have you seen Casey since he joined the majors?”
I clasp my hands in my lap. Small talk is painful. “I’m sure you’ve heard that he hasn’t been back since college.”
“Yeah, but I asked if you’ve seen him.”
“Yes. He’s invited a few of us to watch his games.”
Jason takes another sip of his drink, grimacing afterward. “Casey and I used to be great friends until…” He looks at me suspiciously, but I glare at him, willing him to say something, but he doesn’t.
“Charlie, please go wash your hands before the meal arrives.”
Without argument, thank God, Charlie gets up to go to the bathroom .
“What are we doing here?” I ask Jason.
His eyebrows press together. “We’re having dinner, Charlotte. Obviously.”
“I thought you wanted some uninterrupted time with Charlie, but this whole time you’ve not once spoken to him.”
“Jesus. I didn’t realize you were judging my every word. This is new to me, you know. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Ask him about school, his teacher, his friends. Ask him about baseball, or who his favorite player is. It’s not that hard, Jason.”
He crosses his arms but then drops them when he realizes his posture. “Fine.”
By the time Charlie returns, there’s a tension at the table that is palpable. I regret saying anything to Jason, as I should have known I would have bruised his ego. But, just as I’d nearly given up on him, he asks Charlie about school.
That’s all it takes for Charlie to go on a twenty-minute rant about every classmate, bully, annoying subject, and dance trend happening in the schoolyard.
I get a little emotional watching his face become animated as he tells Jason about himself. He’s growing up so fast, and soon he’ll be in high school and then off to college… tears threaten to fall, and I clear my throat before excusing myself to cool off in the bathroom .
When I return, Jason and Charlie are talking about the New York Lions and catching a baseball game this summer. My heart stops and I force a breath through my tight throat.
Conversation flows throughout dinner, but there’s a nausea in the pit of my stomach I can’t shake and barely touch my salad, choosing two bread rolls instead.
Finally, after dessert, I thank Jason for dinner and tell him it’s time for us to head back home. I’m exhausted and not feeling a hundred percent.
Sage is awake when I open the front door. She turns off the television and sits up higher on the couch. She pulled her long hair into a topknot.
“So, how did it go?”
“Fine.”
She stares at me and then turns her attention to Charlie. “How about you? Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah. Mom’s friend is nice. He said he’ll take me to a baseball game this summer. Cool, right?”
“Cool.” Sage looks at me again, pressing her lips together.
I drop onto the couch next to Sage. “Wash up, Charlie. It’s almost time for bed.”
“Can I play a video game before bed?”
“Just one. I’ll be in to say good night in about half an hour.”
He runs to the bathroom, not wasting any play time.
“So, how did it go, really?”
“Honestly, it was fine. A little shaky at first, but Charlie seemed happy talking about himself, and Jason was content to listen.”
“Was it awkward?”
“A little, but when I came back from the bathroom and saw just the two of them talking, my heart stopped. I never thought I’d see the day. I even got a little emotional about it.”
“Really?”
“I know. Strange, huh?”
Sage stares at me, her eyes roaming across my body. “What did you have for dinner?”
Exhausted, I drop my head back onto the couch and close my eyes. “Ugh. I ordered a Cobb salad but finished the breadbasket instead.”
“Charlotte…”
“Mmm?” I ask, not opening my eyes.
When Sage doesn’t continue, I peek over at her. She’s staring at me and biting her lip.
“You’ve been back a month and have hardly eaten anything. You’re exhausted all the time and tonight you even got emotional. It’s understandable with everything that’s going on, but, maybe…”
She leans forward with her head tilted, as though she is urging me to figure something out.
Then it hits me.
“Oh no. Do you think I caught some sort of tropical virus?”
Sage closes her eyes and sighs. “No. That’s not what I’m thinking.”
Her eyes soften, and she grabs my hand.
“What is it?” I ask. Sage majored in science in college and loves researching ways to heal the body in non-traditional ways. Perhaps these symptoms are part of a bigger health issue. “Just tell me, Sage. What do you think is wrong with me?”
“I don’t think anything is wrong with you, Charlotte.”
“Then what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”
She inhales slowly and asks, “When’s the last time you got your period?”