Love Me (She’s Mine #2)

14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

D rawn back to Cody, Brooke walked into his study through the French doors. He sat at his desk, talking on his cell phone. His deep voice filled the room. So soothing. So familiar. Her heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling at her, his blue eyes focused on her. She could have gone through the patio doors and through the living room, but she’d come this way because she wanted to see him. She didn’t analyze her thoughts or reasons.

She’d been working on instinct and survival since waking up in the hospital, and she didn’t want to think Cody was part of that survival. She didn’t want to need him in order to feel anything good.

But he did make her feel a spark of happiness every time she looked at him.

She felt even better when he stood and came to her. He carried on a conversation she didn’t tune in to as he kissed her on the head and rubbed his hand up her good arm to her shoulder before going back to his desk and looking at some papers.

Feeling a bit better after the sunshine and Cody’s attention and affection, she aimlessly walked out of the study and slowly worked her way up the stairs to her room.

“Brooke.” Kristi walked from the kitchen into the living room. “I’d like to have a word with you, please.”

Just the sound of Kristi’s voice made her angry. Seeing Kristi in Brooke’s home reminded her of Kristi’s place in Cody’s life.

Brooke ignored Kristi and continued to carefully make her way up the stairs. One step at a time, just the way she took every second of the day. Her ankle was stable in the brace, but sore, making it difficult to maneuver the stairs. Especially after the long walk to the stables and through the garden.

Kristie huffed out a breath of frustration. “Brooke. I’m talking to you.”

Brooke ignored the peevish tone.

“Kristi. Let her be,” Cody ordered. “You have nothing to say to her, unless it’s to express your condolences on the loss of our daughter.”

Not likely. Kristi didn’t have any sympathy for Brooke. She wanted to fight over Cody.

Brooke didn’t have it in her, and she’d already lost Cody, so why fight about it.

Kristi’s silence spoke volumes.

“I have to finish this call, and then we’ll talk.” Brooke recognized the warning in Cody’s voice that he was barely in command of his temper. “Leave her alone. She’s having a rough day.”

“Aren’t we all?”

The snide tone set Cody off. “Was your daughter murdered while you carried her inside you?”

Cody’s words hit Brooke hard.

Kristi pouted. “We lost a baby, too.”

“And you were so upset about it you waited weeks to tell me about it, like it barely mattered to you, because, hey, we still had a wedding coming up.”

Brooke felt the hurt in Cody’s words wash through with another wave of grief for all he’d lost. She stared down at him from the top of the stairs.

He glanced up at her, an apology in his eyes for upsetting her and Kristi making a scene.

He turned back to Kristi, his phone still held against his chest. “I need a minute to finish this call. Then you and I are going to talk.”

Brooke wouldn’t want to be Kristi right now. Cody sounded like he’d reached his limit.

Still, they’d probably work it out. Kristi would get her way. She always did. And Cody would still be hers.

Another wave of sadness rolled over Brooke as she left the two of them behind to wallow in her grief and somehow get through the next minute.

And the one after that.

And the one after that.

She didn’t want to think about how hard it was getting to live one moment to the next.

Cody finished his call in his office and walked back into the living room. Kristi stood by the windows, looking out at the pool and backyard, completely lost in thought. He just bet the wheels were turning. When she looked at him, eyes filled with sympathy, he didn’t believe it for a second. Not after the way she’d acted when he brought Brooke home or a few minutes ago when she’d tried to confront Brooke.

In the last three days, she hadn’t even attempted to talk to him about how he felt about losing his daughter. Brooke had known just by looking at him, he quietly suffered. She’d acknowledged both his losses and known how much he wanted to be a dad.

Kristi had skimmed over the miscarriage and focused on the wedding. Maybe that helped her cope, but it looked and felt like the loss didn’t hit her the way it did him.

That never sat right with him.

He couldn’t believe she’d chosen to confront Brooke about sleeping with him and had no compassion for all Brooke had suffered, physically and mentally.

He’d spent all his time with Brooke since he brought her home. Kristi saw what was coming and wanted to stake a claim and reel him back in.

But he didn’t belong to her.

He didn’t want to be with her.

He only wanted to make Brooke well and bring her back to him.

Kristi glided over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He gently took her wrists, stepped back, and let her arms fall back to her sides as he analyzed everything she did. He thought back over their relationship and every time she’d approached him like this, trying to smooth over some upset between them.

Was any of it sincere? Ever?

His insides went cold.

She stared up at him, her blue eyes narrowed with concern. “Cody, honey. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. The last several days have been tough for you. I can see Brooke is despondent. It must be hard dealing with her when she’s being so difficult.”

“She was attacked by a madman. Her baby was murdered. She’s in more pain than any one person should have to endure. She’s sadder than any person deserves to be. And your concern for me is that she’s been difficult to deal with these last few days?”

She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“She can’t talk to me because she can’t think of anything but the loss of our daughter. She can’t move without being in pain and that only reminds her more of what happened. She jumps when anyone approaches her. She has nightmares that make her scream in the night. And you think I care that she’s quiet and hurting and lost inside herself,” he growled.

“I only meant to tell you that I’m here for you. I’m here for you to talk to and share some of the burden.”

“Share the burden,” he repeated in disbelief. “Are you going to share the burden of begging her to eat? Will you sit with her and watch her cry for hours, knowing there’s nothing you can say or do to ease her pain? Will you tend to her many wounds? Would you be able to look at the eight-inch scar on her stomach and not remember a baby was inside her not two weeks ago? Can you look into her eyes knowing you can’t give that back to her?”

His throat ached with all the sadness he held inside. “No. Probably not that last one, because you’re glad the baby is gone. Then it won’t come between you and me and the wedding you so desperately want.”

The unconscious nod and pressing of her lips together told him he’d hit the mark. “I love you. More than anything. We’re good together.” She plastered on a soft smile and gazed up at him, her eyes soft with concern.

Probably for herself and everything she was about to lose.

“Cody, please. Don’t make any rash decisions. You’re upset. We can discuss this later. She’s going to be fine. We’ll get past this and move forward with our lives together.”

He ignored the last part and glared at her harshly. “She’ll be fine? Do you really think so? Because I wonder if she’ll ever be anywhere close to fine again,” he said, almost completely defeated. “I hope she’ll be able to look at me someday and not blame me for what happened. I hope I’ll be able to look in the mirror and not blame myself.”

“It’s not your fault.” Kristi reached out to touch him, but he backed up a step. Her eyes went wide with surprise that he’d do such a thing. Again. “I hate seeing you this way. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she yelled at him.

“Didn’t I? You knew something was up at the Christmas party between me and her. Is that why you chose the next morning to confirm you were pregnant? I mean, you had two weeks to take a test and share the news with me. And how exactly did you get pregnant? You swore you were on the pill. We used condoms as backup because it was my habit, a way to ensure no surprises. After the condom broke, you never said you’d forgotten to take the pill or something might happen. Why? Because you did it on purpose and a convenient accident happened?” He hadn’t actually meant to accuse her of that, but then she looked away.

He'd seen too many people lie in his line of work not to spot the telltale signs of it now. “You…” He couldn’t believe it. “You stopped taking it.”

“Only for a few days, then I realized what I was doing and started it again, but I guess it was too late.”

“Are you kidding me? You think that makes any difference?”

She huffed out a breath, arms rigid, hands fisted. “We talked about getting married, but you kept dragging your feet on actually proposing. I knew you wanted a family. We both did.”

He hadn’t thought he could be this angry. “Not that way. Not by deception. Not with you forcing a proposal and wedding. My God, Kristi, look what you’ve done.”

“I’ve loved you. I’ve been by your side, building a life with you. And you wanted to ruin it all because you fucked your coed sister!”

That sent him back another step. He didn’t know what to say, but he refused to defend himself after what she’d said and done.

Kristi held her hands out to him. “Cody, I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“There is no end to the amount of hurt I feel, but it’s nothing compared to the hurt I’ve caused her.”

Kristi’s ire rose again. “You didn’t do anything to her.”

“I spent the most amazing night of my life in the arms of a woman I love more than my own life.”

Surprise and pain flashed in Kristi’s glassy blue eyes.

He’d tried to do this the right way, hoping they could have a rational conversation without hurting each other more. He’d wanted to end things as close to friends as possible.

But she just didn’t get it. She wanted what she wanted and to hell with everyone else.

He didn’t work that way. He couldn’t forget or ignore what he’d put Brooke through, what she’d suffered.

He couldn’t let Kristi think there was any chance for them anymore.

He let all his anger and self-loathing spew out because he couldn’t keep it inside, and Kristi had played a role in Brooke’s destruction.

“I let Brooke walk out the door pregnant with my child. I made it impossible for her to tell me she was pregnant because she wanted me to be happy. She put my happiness above her own. I’d made my choice. You. Someone I thought was good and kind and would never lie or deceive me. Brooke sacrificed so she wouldn’t take away my chance at happiness and being a father to our baby.”

“Cody, it’s not my fault I lost the baby.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t blame you for that. I blame you for conceiving it in the first place and using it to get me to propose. You used our baby to tear me and Brooke apart. Then you convinced me she had her own life that didn’t include me. And I let you because it was easier than trying to get her back and having her turn me down. If I’d tried, maybe I’d have at least gotten my friend back. Maybe she would have come home when she was scared for her life because of the bastard stalking her. Maybe I’d have been there to hold her hand in the hospital. Maybe she’d know how much I love her.”

Kristi’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t have to feel obligated to her. It’s not your fault.”

“It is! Don’t you get it? It’s my fault she couldn’t tell me she was pregnant in the first place. It’s my fault I made her think I don’t love her by choosing you that morning and again when I chose you after we lost the baby. It’s my fault she couldn’t count on me to be there for her when she needed me because she thought I’d turned my back on her twice !”

Cody sucked in a deep breath and tried to contain the rage building inside him. He never lost his temper. Not like this. “It’s my fault I ever trusted you when you lied to my face and manipulated me to get what you wanted.”

Kristi stared at him, wide-eyed, her hands clasped in front of her. She pleaded with her eyes, but he just didn’t care anymore. She professed to love him, but she hurt him at every turn, never seeing what he really needed and wanted.

He’d tried to be a good man to her, but she’d used that against him.

He’d never forgive her for that.

Kristi opened her mouth, ready for another round of arguments, but she didn’t get a word out.

Brooke flew down the stairs. Pure rage propelled her down and across the room to him.

Stunned by her reckless actions, he stared at her in disbelief, filled with fear that she’d hurt herself.

“Give her back!” She shoved him with her bandaged hands. “Is that why you took me down to the stables and came back in without me?” She shoved him again. “You just wanted to take her. Give her back. You can’t take her from me. Give her back!” She pounded on his chest with her fists, completely oblivious to her injuries. “Give her back!” She slapped his face with a resounding crack, the brace on her arm scraping his skin.

It didn’t even register. He stood there and let her pound on him and felt nothing but that he deserved it.

He didn’t know what brought this on. He knew better than to grab her arms to try to stop her. He didn’t want to send her into another nightmare of the attack like he’d done when he bandaged her arms in her dorm room. So he stood there and took the beating and everything she dished out. If she needed to do this to find a way to heal, he’d let her.

“Give her back.” She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and shook him. “You can’t just take her from me. She’s mine. She’s mine,” she said weakly. “Give her back,” she begged and shattered his battered heart. “Please. Please. Give her back.” She sobbed, all the energy she’d had moments ago vanished, and she leaned heavily against him.

Cody felt the tears slide down his own face. He didn’t know what she was talking about. “I can’t give her back to you, sweetheart. She’s gone.” He wished with everything inside him he could take it all away and have this madness be just a dream.

He briefly glanced at Kristi and saw the shock in her eyes and something else he didn’t want to admit was guilt.

“Brooke.” Susanne rushed into the room. Brooke’s screams had echoed through the house, drawing Susanne out of the kitchen.

“Give her back, Cody. Please, please, give her back,” Brooke sobbed. She had nothing left. Everything seemed to drain away and leave her blank. “Please, give her back.” She pulled her arms back from his chest. Fresh blood stained the bandages.

She held her arms up in front of her in horror. She’d pounded on his chest so hard, she must have torn some of the stitches, or opened some of the more healed cuts. The blood drained out of her face, and her eyes rolled back in her head as she swayed.

He caught her before she fell.

“Brooke!” Susanne screamed and rushed over to help Cody lay her on the sofa. “What is going on in here?”

Cody gently laid Brooke on the sofa. He put her arm gently over her stomach and gazed up at Susanne. “I don’t know. She ran down the stairs in a rage. She wants me to give her back our daughter. But I can’t.” He kneeled down beside Brooke and smoothed the hair out of her face. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry I can’t give her back to you.”

Susanne ran a shaky hand over her daughter’s hair. “What do you think set her off?”

“I don’t know.” Cody touched a hand to Brooke’s cheek and gently wiped some of the tears away, careful to avoid the stitched cut on her face. “I don’t know,” he said again absently.

Cody looked up and saw Janie standing by the kitchen door. “Janie, could you call Dr. Nash? He was due to come by in a couple of hours to check on Brooke, but we need him now. Tell him she’s had some kind of breakdown and she’s fainted. Tell him she’s hurt her arms, and she’s bleeding. Some of her cuts may need to be re-stitched. If he can’t come, ask him if he’ll meet me at the ER.”

Janie left the room quickly to do what Cody asked.

Kristi came forward and stood at the end of the couch at Brooke’s feet. She appeared hesitant and scared. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

A wave of anger rushed over him. “What do you mean? What did you do?”

“She wouldn’t share her with you. I didn’t think it was fair that she kept your daughter all to herself.”

Cody stood. He was finally beginning to understand why Brooke had said to give her back. “What did you do, Kristi?”

“I know no one is supposed to know that Brooke was the victim of the campus stalker. But after I calmed down the other night, I remembered you saying that her classmates held a memorial of sorts for the baby. I thought we could do that here. Today. You and me. I brought flowers and candles and the ultrasound picture of our baby. I thought we could say something for the both of them, so I took the urn from upstairs and brought it down to your office.”

Cody swore and fisted his hands, his whole body vibrating with rage.

Kristi implored him with her eyes to understand. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. For us to remember them.”

“Cody!” Susanne took his hand. “Take a breath.”

Nothing would calm the fury raging through him. “Susanne, please go get our daughter for Brooke. I don’t want her to wake up without her.”

He waited for Susanne to go into his study before he turned on Kristi. “Do you have any idea what Brooke has been through? She was stabbed in the belly. That six-inch knife went through my daughter’s back and severed the umbilical cord, cutting off her blood supply. It literally left the baby and Brooke bleeding to death with every beat of her heart. Then, the doctors had to cut her open and take our daughter out of her. They didn’t let her see her daughter. She never laid eyes on her. She never got to hold her own child. After all of that, you took her daughter away from her.”

Kristi stood rooted to the floor, hearing the brutal truth, every one of his words laced with the hatred he couldn’t hide. Tears shimmered in her sad, regretful eyes, but they had no effect on him. “I had no idea it was that bad. I’m sorry isn’t enough,” she began.

“You’re damn right, I’m sorry isn’t enough!” he bellowed. “You’re jealous. You did this to manipulate me. You thought we’d have a little ceremony and grieve our losses and I’d change my mind about breaking up with you.”

“I wanted you to see that I understand your losses and that as partners we could get through this together.”

“Yet you came in here ready to confront Brooke the second you saw her. That wasn’t about being kind or compassionate. That was you being selfish as usual. You can’t stand it that you didn’t get what you wanted this time.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way. We can work this out. You want the life we planned. I know you do. I got you that board seat. I can give you the family you want.”

“I want a wife who cares about me. I want a family that supports and loves each other. A woman who puts me first when I need it. That woman is and will always be Brooke.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Stop telling me what I want and what I mean. I’ve made it perfectly clear. I’m hers. I was always hers. I will always be hers.”

Tears fell over Kristi’s pale cheeks. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. Let me make it right.”

Cody shook his head. “She needs rest. She needs time to heal. She needs a little fucking compassion. She needs to have her daughter with her!” he roared.

She clasped her hands tightly together in front of her. “I’m sorry, Cody. I’m so sorry.”

Cody never raised his voice or shouted. At least now he had her attention.

“Cody. Give Brooke her daughter back,” Susanne said from behind him.

Cody turned away from Kristi and carefully took the silver vessel from Susanne. He kneeled next to Brooke, wondering how long she’d been awake and how much she’d heard. Tears slipped out the side of her closed eyes. Gently brushing them away, he spoke quietly to her. “Brooke, honey. Look at me, baby.”

“I can’t. I hit you. I y-yelled at you. I accused y-you. I’m s-sorry.” Her lips trembled and the tears flowed.

“Brooke, baby. Come on. Look at me. It’s okay.”

She finally opened her eyes.

He held up their daughter. “Here she is. She’s right here.” He put her on Brooke’s stomach and pressed both of Brooke’s hands over her. “You’ve got her now.”

Brooke placed her hand on Cody’s stinging cheek. “I’m sorry I hit you. I’m so sorry, Cody.” She squeezed her eyes closed and cried harder.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m fine. You’re the one who’s hurt. Sshh. Baby, I’m okay.” The harder she cried, the harder he tried to convince her. Finally, he kissed her. He fit his mouth over hers and kissed her again and again, until she realized he was insisting she kiss him back. When she did, he softened the kiss and let his lips linger over hers. He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head no. “I hurt. My foot and arms, they’re killing me.”

“I bet. What the hell were you thinking running down the stairs on that leg like that? You could have fallen and cracked your skull open.”

Her watery eyes pleaded with him to understand. “I wanted her back.”

He brushed a kiss on her soft lips, then on her nose. “I know you did, sweetheart. I’m sorry she wasn’t where you left her. I’m going to fix things right now. I promise.”

Susanne cleared her throat to get Cody’s attention. “Maybe we should get her upstairs before you and Kristi finish your talk.” Susanne glared at Kristi as she stood there with tears in her eyes, staring at Cody leaning over Brooke.

Cody had other ideas. “I think Brooke deserves to hear this.” He stood and turned to Kristi. “I’ll never forgive you for doing this to her. I hope that whenever you do have a child you look at him every day and think about Brooke and the fact she doesn’t have her daughter. I hope you look at your child and remember you took Brooke’s daughter away from her for spite and to manipulate me.”

“Cody. No. Don’t do this.”

He shook his head, trying to figure out how Kristi had turned into someone he didn’t recognize anymore. “I wanted us to talk about this privately. I thought we could sit down the night I found out Brooke lost the baby and she was attacked and I could make you understand why I couldn’t marry you.”

She gasped. Maybe Brooke did, too, but he stayed focused on Kristi, who’d gone even paler. “You were going to dump me that night?”

“I had made the decision to end things days before that, but had to wait until your schedule cleared to meet with you.”

“No.” Kristi shook her head, in complete denial.

“I wanted to take the time to make you understand it wasn’t that I didn’t love you, but that I couldn’t love you. I love Brooke. I always have. How could I love someone else? You? When I love her with my whole heart, but have been too stupid to see what was in front of me all this time?

“I thought we could end things amicably. I thought you’d understand now that I’ve lost my daughter, and it’s tearing me up inside. I thought you’d have a little compassion and understanding for what happened to Brooke, and you’d see it’s made me realize I belong to her, with her. I thought you’d bow out gracefully, and the good times we shared together would allow you to wish me well. But then, you had to pull this stunt.

“So, here’s the deal. The phone call I was finishing was with my assistant. She spent the morning contacting the caterer, the florist, the band, everyone. It’s all been canceled. I paid whatever it cost to stop all of it. Every single guest will receive an overnight delivery note telling them the wedding has been canceled. I was going to offer to go with you to your parents’ home and explain. At this point, I don’t care what the hell you tell them. Your behavior is deplorable. If you do anything further to hurt Brooke, I’ll tell everyone who’ll listen you purposely got pregnant to trap me into marrying you.”

Kristi’s eyes went wide with fear. “Cody, please. No. You can’t.”

“I will if you cause any further harm. The only woman I’ll ever marry is Brooke, if she’ll have me. I’ve wasted enough time with you. Get out.”

“Cody,” Brooke called to him and tried to get up, but couldn’t even manage to raise her shoulders before she fell back into the cushion.

“Stop moving,” he begged her.

She sighed. “Don’t end things because of what happened to me.”

“It should have, and would have, ended the night of the Christmas party if Kristi hadn’t tried to manipulate me into marrying her. She stopped taking the pill on purpose without even discussing it with me. That’s enough to end things. But what happened to you… I almost lost you forever.”

“Come here, Cody.” Brooke held out her hand.

He went to her and gently took her hand, concerned about all the blood soaking her bandages.

“We talked about this. Even if we’d been together, it wouldn’t have changed what happened. He wanted me. He came for me. He would have found a way to get to me no matter what. This isn’t your fault. You and Kristi have been together a long time. You love her.”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t. I thought I did, but then I found out what real love feels like. It’s how I feel about you. I spent the last six months trying to convince myself letting you go was the right thing. So you could have an unfettered college experience. So you wouldn’t be ridiculed about being with your stepbrother. So you wouldn’t regret being with me because of my crazy busy life. But now I understand how you felt all this time. None of that matters as long as I’m with you. I love you. I want to be with you. That’s how I feel. And I can’t live without you anymore.”

“Maybe you’re not really in love with me. I’m not the Brooke you used to know anymore.”

“Bullshit. You’re so much more than the Brooke I used to know. And I love you, damnit.”

All of a sudden the trauma caught up to her and her eyes drooped.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep when I’m telling you I love you.”

A hint of a smile tilted her lips. “I hear you. Australia heard you.”

“Kristi heard you.” Susanne pointed to the side table at the end of the couch.

Kristi had left her engagement ring on the table beside a picture of Cody and Brooke standing on either side of Cody’s prize stallion. Sometime during Cody and Brooke’s brief conversation, Kristi had quietly walked out the door.

Cody couldn’t care less about the ring. He turned back to Brooke. “I love you. We’re getting married.”

“We are not,” she said immediately.

“Yes we are. Don’t argue with me. Don’t fight me on this. Not tonight. I’m tired. I’ve had a shitty day. And you’re bleeding again,” he said miserably. “Please, honey. Just think about it. Let it sink in. Let yourself believe it because it’s true. I love you. Maybe you can love me again, too.”

Cody stood and greeted Dr. Nash as he walked in the living room after Janie showed him in. “Thanks for coming so quickly.” He looked down at Brooke. She stared back at him, fear in her eyes. “You can trust me, Brooke. You know I would never lie to you.” He leaned down and slipped his arms beneath her. “I’m sorry. This is going to hurt.”

He carried Brooke up to her bed, trying desperately not to see the way her skin broke out in a fine sheen of sweat. She bit her lip to hide the pain. He hated hurting her. It clawed at his insides and left him raw.

He laid her gently on the bed.

Dr. Nash set his medical bag at her side and pulled out supplies.

Cody concentrated on Brooke’s too-pale face. “You’ll be okay, sweetheart.”

He held her hand as Dr. Nash unwound the bloody bandages on her arm. He kept his focus on her.

Dr. Nash clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you go downstairs and give me a few minutes alone with my patient.”

Brooke gave him a soft nod to go.

He didn’t want to leave her, but the sight of all that blood, those long gashes and the reminder of how she’d gotten them, nearly undid him.

He kissed her swollen fingers as she held their daughter to her chest, then fled the room. He hated to leave her when she was in pain, but it was too much for him.

This whole day had been too much. Canceling one wedding. Deciding on another. Trying to help bring Brooke out of her funk and spend some time outdoors and not hiding in bed.

Kristi.

He really couldn’t believe she’d admitted to getting pregnant on purpose. And that despicable stunt she pulled with Brooke.

When would they finally have some peace?