15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
T he strain on Dr. Nash’s face mirrored Cody’s when they met in his office.
“It’s easy to see the toll Brooke’s condition is taking on you. You need to take care of yourself, too.”
Cody didn’t respond. Brooke was and would always be his priority now.
“She’s okay, Cody,” Dr. Nash added.
Cody leaned back in his chair, turning his face up to the ceiling. Nash had been his doctor for a number of years. Cody had a lot of respect for the man. He found him easy to talk to and always ready to listen. When he’d decided to bring Brooke home, he knew Dr. Nash would take care of her with the empathy Brooke needed.
She needed more than her wounds tended to; she needed someone to understand all she’d been through.
“Is she?” Cody didn’t think so.
Dr. Nash took a seat and sighed heavily. “I’ve treated a lot of patients, many of them hurt worse than Brooke. Sometimes it isn’t the physical injuries that hurt the most.” He stretched his neck, then settled again. “I fixed the cuts on her arms. Most of them are healing well. I took the stitches out of a couple and fixed the stitches on a few others. Janie helped me with some ice packs for the swelling in her arms and her ankle. Her broken wrist hurt her the most. She really banged it up good.”
“She was upset. She pounded on me with every bit of strength she had.” He had a couple bruises blooming on his chest.
“I didn’t want to ask her about what happened.” He eyed Cody, coaxing him to open up without pushing.
“She couldn’t find our daughter’s ashes. She thought I took her away from her.” Cody ran a hand over his tight neck muscles and stared at the doctor. “She needs to talk to someone about what happened. Do you think it would be better for her to be somewhere other than the ranch? She’s so lost and sad and…” He didn’t know how to finish explaining how desolate Brooke could be at times.
“I think she needs to be here with her mom and you. I saw the way you kissed her. It’s in the way you look at her. You’re in love with her.”
A statement of fact Cody didn’t have to answer, but he did. “Yes. I love her.”
“I thought you were getting married soon.”
“I called it off. I love Brooke. I’m going to marry her.”
“I see. That sounds…complicated.”
“It’s really not. And I don’t give a shit about what people think.”
Dr. Nash nodded with another quirky half smile. “What does it really matter if her mom married your dad? That was their love story. This is yours.”
Cody had to agree. “We’re family, but not blood. And the way we were when we were younger isn’t how we are with each other now. We’ve both grown and changed. The closeness we share turned into more. I think even Brooke would say the crush she had on me changed into something deeper after she went away to college and she matured.”
“That’s what happens, right? We grow into ourselves with our experiences.”
“Exactly. So who’s to judge us for turning our amazing friendship into something more?”
“Not me. But some will.”
“I only care about what she thinks and feels.”
Dr. Nash motioned with his head. “Is that her ring?”
Cody glared at the diamond solitaire sitting on his desk. Even the sight of it set his blood to boil. It should have been Brooke’s ring. “No. That one I gave to Kristi. If there was a volcano nearby, I’d toss it in.”
Dr. Nash raised the corner of his mouth, finding a little humor in Cody’s disgust with the ring. The situation wasn’t funny, however. “You look wiped out, Cody. You should get some rest.”
“Doctor’s orders,” Cody teased without much feeling.
“Something like that. Brooke needs you. You’re no good to her if you aren’t well and in your right mind.”
Cody knew he was right. “Tell me what you think I should do. Everything I do doesn’t seem to help her. I feel like she’s out of my reach, and all I want to do is grab her and hold on. Sometimes I want to shake her to bring her back to me.”
“Well, don’t shake her.”
He’d never hurt her. “Come on, Doc. How can I help her?”
“I’ve seen plenty of people like you, frustrated to the breaking point, trying to comfort someone who isn’t ready to be comforted. Sometimes people need time to sit in their grief. That’s where Brooke is right now. She wants to feel the pain of losing her daughter, even feels she has to feel it to prove to herself and everyone else that she hurts and her daughter is worth the pain.”
Cody felt that deep in his soul.
“Love her.”
That was easy.
“She needs time. She’s grieving, just like you. You both lost a child. That’s not easy. It’s harder for her because she carried the child. She felt the baby move and kick and it’s hard for her to fathom the child is gone when she was so real to her.”
“That’s just it, isn’t it? For me, I grieve that she isn’t here and for all the should-have-beens. But it must be so hard for Brooke not to have our daughter growing inside her anymore. She never gave birth. They didn’t even let her see her.”
“Comfort her. Show her she’s loved. Talk to her about the baby. Believe it or not, I think it helps. Remind her there’s still a lot of life left to live. It’ll take time, but eventually she’ll work through her grief and experience happiness again and not feel guilty for it.”
“Guilty?”
“She thinks she should have been able to save the baby. I wouldn’t be surprised if she feels like she should have died, too.”
Cody hadn’t thought of that. He hadn’t thought she’d blame herself, or wish herself dead. He scrubbed his hands roughly over his face.
“Remind her this isn’t her fault. Keep reaching out to her. She might bat you away, but deep inside she wants you to keep reaching for her. She needs you.”
“I need her.” He needed her more than anything.
“When she’s ready, a grief counselor can be very helpful. For both of you.”
Cody nodded. He wasn’t ready for that yet either. “Listen, Doc, there are some things I need to know.” He took a steadying breath and thought about what he wanted for his and Brooke’s future. “Can she have more children?”
“I’ve looked over the copies of her medical records. According to the reports, there’s no reason she can’t carry another child, given maybe six months to truly heal.”
“That’ll be a relief to her. I know how much she wants to be a mom. Now I can tell her we’ll have a family when she’s ready. I want her to know that option is there whenever she wants it.”
Dr. Nash nodded. “Right now, her abdomen is sore, but the infection has cleared up and it’s healing well. The other injuries are far less serious. Her broken arm should be healed in a month or so, but that won’t hinder her from all activities. She didn’t give birth, so she can resume sexual activity whenever she feels like it.”
Cody held up a hand. “Whoa, Doc. I wasn’t planning on…you know…until she’s better.” They still had a lot to work out in addition to her wounds healing.
Dr. Nash settled back. “I’m just giving you the information you need.”
Cody appreciated it. “How soon until she can walk on her foot without the brace?”
“At least another week, maybe more after today.”
“Could I take her horseback riding?”
“Not until her abdomen is better. At least a couple of weeks.”
“Okay. She loves to ride. I’d wanted to take her. I thought it might make her happy.”
“Riding isn’t a good idea at the moment, but getting her up and out of the house is. The more you get her engaged in life and out of her head, the better she’ll be. The sooner she’ll heal.”
He’d take her over to the building she bought and show her all the renovations. He’d get her excited about opening the bookstore and café. A task, something to look forward to. It would help. He hoped.
“If you find her wallowing in her grief and sinking further into depression, let me know.”
He frowned. “I don’t want to have to medicate her.”
“We’ll help her any way we can to make sure she’s safe.” Dr. Nash didn’t say it, but Brooke’s depression could lead her to hurt herself. “I’ve contacted a colleague. Dr. Wick. He’s a psychiatrist and specializes in trauma. He’ll be by the house to check on her.” Dr. Nash slid a card with the appointment information across Cody’s desk.
“Thanks.” He’d ask Dr. Wick about things he could do to help Brooke, too.
“I gave her a couple of shots for the pain and to help her sleep. That’s all I can do right now. I’ll be back in a few days to take out some of the other stitches. Until then, watch over her. Give her what she needs.”
Cody would do anything to help her. He just wished he were confident in his ability to love her out of her grief and back to him.
Whatever it takes. I’m all in.