Chapter 21 #2
No one else appears to care. Reid surely doesn’t. There’s a girl with half blue hair practically hanging on him, and he looks like he’s enjoying it. I’m shocked he didn’t invite Luella from last year. She must have just been a fling—somehow it makes it sting even more that he chose her over us.
I want to tell Callum to kiss me anyways, but it would be wrong. It’d be wrong because I’d spend the whole time secretly hoping Reid would see. Not just that he’d see—but that he’d care.
Callum may not kiss me here, but it doesn’t stop him from running his fingers over my thighs under the water.
His fingers are gruff with callouses and cuts.
The touch is hotter than it should be, with the juxtaposition of his hard hands against my soft legs.
I keep leaning in closer, and eventually I let my head rest against his shoulder.
Once my head hits his arm I realize how tired I am, and hot. My head is starting to throb as my very brief high starts to fade, and I remember how draining today truly was. Before I let myself fixate on how high maintenance I sound, I peel myself out of the water. “I’m ready to go home.”
Callum clocks the clarity in my eyes—he knows I’m sober now.
He wastes no time pulling himself out of the water and starts to help me grab my clothes.
I spare a single glance back to Reid, but he’s immersed with that girl.
She’s practically in his lap now, and he’s toying with her blue strands lazily—he doesn’t even see me go.
We have each other’s locations, so I’ll know if he’s safe, but it still feels wrong. Whatever happened to ‘we’re a team Blondie,’ ‘I’ll never leave you Addie’?
Since everyone else is still partying, Callum helps me take the bikes out of the back of Willa and we take turns showering.
For once in my life, I’m grateful for a cold shower.
My heart is thumping. Something about a steaming hot spring and weed is not mixing well for me.
I can feel every too-warm blood platelet making its way through my blood stream.
Taking my time gliding serums and creams over my face, I do my best to come back to my body without focusing on the atoms it’s composed of.
My fingers keep gravitating towards the back of my spine, and I know I’m focusing too intensely on the structures of my spinal column, and the way I take them for granted everyday.
Completely abandoning any mission to impress Callum, I dress myself in my baggiest pair of sweatpants and an old national parks shirt. I’m comfy as fuck, so I don’t even care. When I pull back the sliding door, I see Callum standing over my induction stove-top making mac and cheese.
“I hope you don’t mind. I made us some road fuel.” He smiles gently and holds the bowl out for me.
Truly, I eat too much cheese around this man, but I can’t resist the pull and I scarf it down in two minutes flat. I start doing the dishes while he showers—it’s awkward thinking about this man who’s basically a stranger being in my space.
He’s less than five feet away from me, totally naked.
Thankfully, he’s not in there for long. Callum dresses quickly and puts the bikes back without me having to ask or assist in any way.
I should offer to drive back since I’m sober now, but I would very much prefer to sit in the passenger seat reading my kindle.
There’s a collection of flashlights coming our way.
Part of me had hoped we’d be long gone before they all decided to follow.
Reid is carrying that blue haired girl on his back—she looks too drunk to walk by herself.
He makes eye contact with me through the window and offers a sad smile.
Party boy Reid looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here.
Callum gets us back to Whistler in record time, or maybe it just feels that way. I’m pretty sure I drifted off at one point. I rub my eyes. “Thanks for driving us.”
I know I was exhausted before, but whatever micro-nap I got on the drive has me feeling wide awake. He turns off my van and hands me the keys.
He’s smiling politely as he says, “You’re welcome.”
Callum leans over the center console and brushes his lips ever so slightly against my own.
I feel nothing, not even the slightest glimmer of a spark this time.
Disappointment floods my body, and I feel it soaking into him too.
I try to remember the way his fingers felt on my thighs, but it’s out of my reach.
He feels it and pulls back. “You’re in love with Reid, aren’t you? ”
His tone is calm, almost like he pities me. There’s only one way to answer this. I sigh, “Yeah, I am.”
I can’t believe I’m that obvious. Everyone on the circuit must know.
His rough fingers trail down my arm in a comforting way. He feels bad for me. He knows Reid will never go for me. “I’m sorry for leading you on.”
I really am sorry. I tried my best, but I should have known I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have dragged him through this with me.
“Don’t be sorry.” His expression is genuine. “I got to hang out with one of the most beautiful, bad ass riders out there. I got the good end of the deal here.”
I know he’s just trying to make me feel better, but it makes me smile anyways. He starts to climb out of the van, and I call back to him, “Good luck tomorrow!”
Hopefully, he and I can stay friends. I truly do enjoy his company, just not as much as I enjoy Reid’s—even when I’m mad at him.