Chapter Twenty-One
Joshua closed the front door, conscious of the sound of the TV coming from the living room.
He peeked around the door. Naomi and Simon were sitting on the couch, Naomi’s head on his shoulder, both lost in whatever movie they were watching.
Neither of them noticed him as he quickly withdrew and went quietly to the kitchen.
From along the hallway came voices in conversation, and Joshua realized Micah and Greg were in the studio.
Perfect. Joshua was in no mood to be given the third degree. He knew he couldn’t escape their questions forever—there was still dinner time to be endured.
He poured himself a coffee and crept to his office, quietly closing the door behind him. Sanctuary. He sat on the couch and drank his coffee, his mind on Alex. By the time Joshua came to leave, Alex appeared in better spirits, and much more like the man Joshua had come to know.
Except now I know a whole lot more about him.
He could only imagine the heartache Alex must have suffered when he saw that photo. His own emotions had swayed between compassion and anger as Alex had sobbed into his chest, but Joshua knew better than to impede those tears. They had brought a much-needed catharsis.
A light tapping on his door forced a sigh from him. Oh well. Time to face the music. “Come in.”
Micah stuck his head around the door. “Hey. I only knew you were back when I saw your truck outside. You must have snuck in.”
“I did not sneak in,” Joshua insisted, his cheeks a little warm. “Everyone was occupied, so I saw no need to interrupt y’all.”
Micah smiled. “And there’s that Alabama creeping in. You know, you only do that when you get flustered.”
There were times when having intelligent, perceptive offspring was a curse.
“Was there something you wanted?”
Micah came into the room and shut the door behind him. “I just wanted to ask if there was anything in particular you wanted for dinner.”
Joshua stared at him. “Really.”
Micah frowned. “What?”
He gave a nonchalant shrug. “Oh, I don’t know. I thought you might have been curious why I spent the night at Alex’s place, that’s all.”
“Hey, if you want to stay there, that’s no one’s business but yours. Well, yours and Alex’s.” Micah grinned. “You’re both adults, right?”
It took a second or two for his words to register.
What the hell?
“Wait. You think there’s something going on between me and Alex?”
Micah frowned. “Well, yeah, we sort of assumed… You mean… there isn’t?”
Joshua was bowled over. “No, there isn’t. What I’m finding hard to believe is that you assume I’m in a relationship with Alex, and that doesn’t appear to disturb you in the slightest.”
Micah’s smile was puzzled. “Why should it?”
Joshua gaped at him. “You mean, you’d be okay with the idea of me and Alex….?” He couldn’t even bring himself to say the words.
Micah bit his lip. “Dad. Come on. You’re forty-seven. I’m not naive enough to assume you don’t have… needs.”
The conversation had just stepped over into the Twilight Zone.
“Dad? Are you okay?”
Joshua snorted. “Let’s just say, I never, ever, ever once thought about my dad having… needs.”
“But this is different.” Micah joined him on the couch.
“We know you loved Hayden. And we kind of… assumed you wanted to… see what you’d missed.
I know, if it was me in your shoes, I’d be…
intrigued.” His voice softened. “It’s not like you’re ever gonna forget Mom.
We know that. But… you’re only human. And then there’s Alex… ”
Joshua cleared his throat. “Who conveniently happens to be gay? Would it surprise you to learn that I’ve never thought of him in… those terms?” This had to rank as one of the strangest conversations he’d ever participated in. It was almost as if their roles had been reversed.
He tried to ignore the heat that raced through him, the warmth in his face that he hoped Micah read as indignation. Not any other emotion.
Especially guilt.
“Yeah, I got that part. So… if you and Alex aren’t… you know… are you telling me you haven’t been curious to take a peek and see what the other side of the church gets up to?”
Joshua wanted to yell, ‘Up until this moment? Absolutely not.’ Except…
Three years of no libido to speak of, but recently… hadn’t there been something stirring inside him? Something awakening, reminding him that he was alive?
He regarded his son with amusement. “So your old dad watching porn is okay by you?”
Micah didn’t appear fazed by that remark. “Why shouldn’t it be? Like I said, you’re human. I’m not stupid. I’m gonna assume you’ve watched porn at some point in your life. Well, now you get to watch a whole new kind of porn. Not that it’s all that different, I suppose.”
Joshua couldn’t contain his amazement a second longer. He burst out laughing. “You do realize, this is not the kind of conversation I ever imagined having with one of my kids, right?”
Micah chuckled. “Yeah, but that only goes to show what exceptional parents we had. You obviously did something right for us to turn out the way we did.”
Joshua snickered. “Who’d have thought the day would come when my son is giving me The Talk?”
Micah bit his lip. “I’m glad you put it like that, because I was gonna mention… do we have to discuss being safe?” His eyes twinkled. “Because I’m sure I can find a banana and a condom somewhere to demonstrate.”
“You know what? I think we’re done.”
Micah grinned. “But we have so many things to talk about! Like testing… and knowing when you’re ready to take things to the next level… and—”
“And you’re gonna stop right there, because you’re having way too much fun with this.” Joshua pointed to the door. “Out. Now. Call me when dinner’s ready. And no, I don’t care what we eat. Surprise me.”
Micah coughed. “Yes, Dad.” He got up and headed for the door. “One last thing,” he said, poised to open it.
Joshua fired him a warning glance. “Be very careful what you say next.”
Micah held up his hand. “I was only gonna say…I’m glad we can talk like this. It means a lot to me that we can discuss stuff like… sex.”
It meant a lot to Joshua too. “Fine. Me too.”
Micah smiled. “Just let me know if you want any recommendations for sites to check out.”
The door had already closed behind him by the time the cushion hit it.
Joshua shook his head in disbelief. I never thought I’d see the day when Micah would suggest I watch gay porn. Then he reasoned it could have been a lot worse.
It could have been Naomi.
It was only then that certain things Micah had said filtered through. Because he’d made it sound as if this situation was something they’d all discussed.
Oh Lord.
Joshua had sped past a lot worse and hurtled straight into as bad as it gets.
~ 0 ~
Joshua waited until dinner was finished and the dishes were cleared away before saying something. Thankfully, no one had mentioned his overnight stay, so he figured Micah had spilled the beans.
“I know you all like Alex,” he began, “so I wanted you to know what happened last night.”
Naomi opened her mouth, but Micah glared at her. “That’s okay, Dad. We don’t need to know.”
“Well, I’m sure y’all had fun, imagining all kinds of things—and don’t even bother denying it, because we’re way past that—but what you don’t know is, Alex had a shock, and it really knocked him sideways.
I’m not gonna go into details, because that’s his business.
I’m just gonna say I was scared to leave him alone, so I stayed the night.
I slept in a chair next to his bed. Because that’s what you do when a friend needs you. ”
Naomi swallowed. “Is he all right?”
Joshua nodded. “He’s okay—now. I took him to brunch, then I got him to teach me how to make crepes—not because I really need to know how, but because it took his mind off things.”
A somber silence fell over the table, and Joshua knew he’d hit home. He wasn’t a cruel man, however. They’d had their fun, but now he’d gotten them to see the situation from Alex’s viewpoint, they could move on.
“Now, there was one thing I wanted to make very clear.” He gazed at their earnest faces.
“You know I’m not in a relationship of any kind with anyone, right?
” They nodded. “Well, I just want to say that… if the day should come that I find myself in that situation, I won’t be nervous about bringing her—or him—home to meet my family.
Because I know you want me to be happy.”
No one spoke for a moment, and Joshua hoped he hadn’t made a huge presumption. Then Naomi pushed back her chair, got up, walked over to his side, leaned over, and kissed his cheek.
“Anyone who gets to have you in their lives is damn lucky. Just saying.”
Joshua hugged her, his arms around her waist. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“You know who else would want you to be happy?” Micah said quietly. “Mom.”
“And my dad,” Greg added.
Joshua felt like he was the luckiest son of a bitch alive. He drew in a deep breath. “Okay. Enough with the emotional stuff. Are you feeling adventurous?”
Greg grinned. “If that means do we want to try one of your crêpes, then hell yes, I’m all for a little adventure.”
Naomi’s eyes widened. “How about crêpes and nutella? Or strawberries and cream?”
Joshua laughed. “Let’s just see what we’ve got in the refrigerator first, shall we? There’s only one proviso—everyone has to take a turn at tossing the crêpes.”
Simon narrowed his gaze. “Do we have to eat the ones we toss? Because I’m not all that coordinated.”
Naomi snickered. “You’ll be fine. And for the record, I think you’re pretty coordinated.” Her eyes gleamed.
Simon burst into a bout of coughing, his face red against his blond hair.
Joshua chuckled. “Welcome to the family, son.”
Be it ever so humble….