Chapter Thirty-Three November 17
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Not yet. Okay, babe?” Alex’s breathless plea crept out of the darkness.
Joshua let out a low moan. “Christ, Alex… please, let me come.” God, he’d lost count of how many times he’d teetered on the edge, desperate to tumble over it and give himself up to the intense pleasure that surely awaited.
Every tap of Alex’s dick against his prostate brought him closer, but each time he’d approached that point, Alex had slowed down, sometimes stilling entirely inside him, while they kissed and caressed each other, until Joshua felt he could die from frustration.
Then Alex slowly began to pick up speed again, until there they were, balanced once more on that knife edge, Joshua’s whole body trembling, raking his fingers down Alex’s back, both of them covered in sweat.
Joshua had no idea what had awoken him. He only knew Alex was awake beside him, reaching for him, and leisurely kisses in the dark had given way to urgent need and spiraling desire. And now he’d reached the point where he couldn’t take any more.
Joshua tightened his grip on Alex’s body, his legs wrapped around Alex’s waist, crossed at the ankles as he held onto him, aware of nothing but Alex’s lips on his, Alex’s body covering his, and the exquisite friction of being filled to the hilt again and again. “Now,” he begged.
Alex buried his face in Joshua’s neck. “Now,” he whispered, before sliding almost all the way out of him. Joshua anchored himself to Alex’s shoulders and clung to him as Alex got into a rhythm of long, deep thrusts, his lower body undulating as he filled Joshua again and again.
“Oh, fuck!” Joshua held on tight as electricity danced through him, zinging its way down his spine, through his balls, all the way to the tip of his dick that lay wedged between them.
He groaned when Alex’s cock connected with his prostate, the sensation skittering between pressure and pleasure.
Waves of warmth radiated through him as Alex continued to nudge it every time, until Joshua was crying out with the intense pleasure that threatened to overcome him.
“That’s it,” Alex gasped, raising his head to kiss Joshua’s lips.
“Just ride it, ride it for as long as it lasts.” His thrusts didn’t slow down, and Joshua dug his fingers deeper into Alex’s shoulders.
Alex drove his cock into him, his breathing erratic, the smell of him filling Joshua’s nostrils, and Joshua shot hard, unable to hold onto it any longer.
He cried out loud, his body jolted by tremors that seemed without end, and suddenly Alex’s cry mingled with his, the throb inside him filling him with a deep sense of joy.
“God, I love you!” The words burst from Joshua’s lips before he had time to think, overcome with the wave of emotion that surged through him.
Alex’s lips connected with his, and the kiss that followed took Joshua’s breath away. Joshua submitted to a passion he’d never known before, a breathless fusion of lips and tongues that left him shattered.
A kiss he felt sure would stay with him for the rest of his life.
The comedown was slow and sensual, a lot of intimate touching and kissing as their breathing climbed down to its natural rhythm. Joshua gazed up at Alex’s face, filled with a sense of anticipation.
Say something. Anything. Okay, so he hadn’t meant to come out with what he’d been feeling for so long, and especially not in the heat of sex, but it was done. It was out.
Alex said nothing, but stroked his cheek, occasionally kissing his forehead, nose and mouth. When the silence became unbearable, Joshua chose the route that offered less risk.
“Asshole.”
Alex arched his eyebrows. “Excuse me? What’s that for?”
“Making me wait.”
“For what?”
Lord, the things he could have said… “For that orgasm.”
Alex gave him an evil grin. “Yeah, but it was worth it in the end, wasn’t it?”
Joshua pursed his lips. “Hmm. Maybe. I’d have to experience it again before I submit my review.”
“Rev—” Alex narrowed his gaze. “How many stars are we talking here?”
“Two point five? Three?” When Alex’s mouth fell open, Joshua pulled him into a deep kiss, burying his hurt and confusion in the embrace. When they parted, he gave Alex a smile. “Okay, you convinced me. Five.”
Alex huffed. “I should think so.” Then they were kissing once more, and Joshua knew he wasn’t going to say anything else, at least not right then. But as they lay in Alex’s bed, holding each other, the ritual of discarding the condom completed, Joshua came to a decision.
I need to know where this is going.
~ 0 ~
November 21
“Are we going to the Festival of Lights this year?” Greg asked Micah as they cleared away after dinner. “Not that it could top last year’s. That was pretty awesome.” His face flushed.
Joshua was intrigued. “It was okay, I seem to recall.”
Micah snickered. “He’s not talking about the lights, Dad. That was the night of our first kiss.” He nudged Greg with his arm. “And you’re right, it was pretty awesome.”
“Yeah, and the lengths we had to go to, to get you there in the first place,” Naomi said as she brought in the tub of ice cream.
“If it hadn’t been for me and Dad, heaven knows where you two would be right now.
” She shook her head. “Some people just need a push in the right direction, I guess.” Naomi placed two scoops of ice cream into Joshua’s bowl.
“Say, Dad. Will Alex be joining us tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” Joshua frowned.
Naomi rolled her eyes. “Duh. Tomorrow? Thanksgiving?” She stilled. “You did invite him, didn’t you? When did you last see him?”
“On the weekend.” And they hadn’t spoken on the phone since then either. Joshua had convinced himself it was the pressures of work. Certainly nothing to do with his blurting out that he loved Alex.
God, he hoped not.
“And you didn’t mention it?” she called from the kitchen as she returned the tub to the freezer.
“I guess not.” He’d had other things on his mind.
“Well, for God’s sake, get on the phone and ask him!” Naomi stood at the corner of the kitchen, her hands on her hips. “It’s bad enough that Simon can’t be here, because he’s at home with his folks. If Alex doesn’t come, that means I’m stuck with you three.” She grinned.
“Dad? Are you all right?” Micah regarded him with concern.
“Of course I’m all right.” Joshua pasted on a smile.
“Then what are you waiting for?” Naomi gave him a mock-glare. “God, how do you boys get along when I’m not here to organize your asses?”
“Amazingly enough, we manage just fine,” Joshua commented dryly.
But as Naomi continued to fix him with a hard stare, he realized he couldn’t get out of this one.
He suppressed a sigh, pulled his phone from his pocket, and hit Alex’s icon.
When he didn’t answer within the first three or four rings, like he always did, Joshua’s heart sank.
He doesn’t want to talk to me. What appeared so wrong about the situation, was that he’d seemingly screwed up with three little words that were supposed to make everything better.
“Hey.”
With a shock, Joshua realized the call had connected. “Hey there. I know it’s a bit late to be asking, but… are you doing anything tomorrow?”
Alex chuckled. “You mean, apart from watching the parade on TV while I eat my turkey and cranberry sandwich and a slice of pumpkin pie?”
“Are… are you serious? Is Manda not coming to see you?”
Alex’s sigh was quiet. “Getting together at Thanksgiving is not one of our routines. And I haven’t celebrated it properly for… a while.”
Yeah, probably about five years, Joshua guessed. In that moment it didn’t matter that his emotions were in turmoil where Alex was concerned. What mattered more was how much he hated the thought of Alex being alone.
“Well, seems to me like you’re due for a change.
Starting tomorrow. We have a turkey the size of a house, and no, I am not involved in the cooking.
That will be the task of my wonderful children, who were also the ones to ask if you were coming.
” He paused, his pulse racing. “Well? What do I tell them?” Not that he wasn’t dying to hear the answer too.
The silence that followed his question spun out, until his heart was pounding.
“I’d like that. What time?”
Joshua let out a long, relieved sigh. “We usually aim to eat around two-ish. Come any time before that.”
“Do I need to bring anything?”
Joshua smiled. “Just you. See you tomorrow.” He disconnected the call and pocketed his phone. Then the quiet struck him, and he glanced up.
Naomi, Micah and Greg were looking at him.
“What now? He’s coming. Any other demands?”
Naomi’s eyes shone. “Nope. I just liked the way you smiled when you said, ‘Just you.’ It was kinda sweet.” She indicated his bowl with a nod of her head. “And your ice cream is all melted.”
Greg picked it up. “I’ll get you some more.”
Joshua was only vaguely aware of him. He wasn’t thinking about ice cream.
He was thinking about Alex.
~ 0 ~
“I don’t think I can move,” Alex said as he sprawled on the couch. “I am too stuffed for words.”
“You’re allowed. It’s tradition.” Joshua sat in the armchair next to the fire. The kids were nowhere in sight.
“Yeah, but we finished eating four hours ago,” Alex exclaimed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so full, or when he’d enjoyed a meal more.
Joshua laughed. “Blame that on Rachel. Our first Thanksgiving, when it was just us and the kids, she went all out, and every Thanksgiving after that. Micah and Naomi have been helping with the cooking since they were old enough to be let loose with a potato peeler.” His face tightened.
“When she was first diagnosed, they were incredible. She wasn’t allowed to lift a finger. ”
“So I guess when you’re faced with a table full of food, it’s like she’s still here,” Alex surmised.
“Kind of.” Joshua smiled. “She’ll always be here. I see her in Naomi’s smile and Micah’s eyes, I hear her in Micah’s laugh…” He swallowed. “It does make me think sometimes. When they’ve moved out and it’s just me, will I still be aware of her?”
Lord, how he ached to blurt out the words, ‘It won’t be just you.
I’ll be here too.’ But he couldn’t. Why am I so afraid to admit how I feel about you?
Both to you and to myself? Oh, he’d come close a couple of times, like that night after he came back from DC, and his heart had decided to overrule his head.
How many times in the last five days had he told himself that men will say anything during sex, because a good orgasm scrambles their brain cells?
I love you was for lucid moments, when everything was crystal clear, when head and heart were unanimous.
Fuck you, Todd. Joshua had held him, told Alex he loved him, and here Alex was, casting doubt on that declaration, all because Todd had…
“Alex?”
He pulled himself together. “You know what? I think I’d better go.”
Joshua stared at him. “Seriously? You don’t have to. It’s not like you have work tomorrow.”
“No,” Alex agreed, getting to his feet. “But I do have a trial to prepare for, and we don’t have all that long left.” He knew he was running away, but it was better than staying. Safer.
Joshua was on his feet too. “Listen, I had an idea. This Saturday… would you come with me to the Festival of Lights?” The words seemed to tumble out of him in a hurry.
Alex stilled. “What?”
“The Festival of Lights? Over at the Cam-Plex Park on Doubletree Lane?”
“Yeah, I know what it is, I’m just not sure why you’re asking me.”
Joshua rolled his eyes, reminding Alex of Naomi. “Because we go every year? Because it’s almost Christmas? Rudolph and Frosty? Surfing reindeer? Santa?”
“Oh. You go as a family?” For some reason, Alex had gotten the impression it would be just the two of them. And I don’t want that. There was less risk of … complications.
Joshua nodded. “Micah asked if you’d like to join us this year. I said I’d ask.”
Alex nodded. “Sure. Let me know what time, and I’ll meet you there.” Safety in numbers, after all. “But now I really should go. Please thank the kids for me. That was a wonderful meal.”
“I will.”
Joshua saw him to the door and helped him into his jacket, before falling silent.
Alex seized the moment and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, cutting off any conversation Joshua might have been contemplating. Joshua cupped Alex’s cheek and returned the kiss. “Happy Thanksgiving, Alex,” he said quietly as they parted.
“Happy Thanksgiving.” Alex paused, wanting to say more, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Drive safe.”
Alex nodded and picked his way carefully across the space between the house and his car. There’d been a fresh fall of snow since his arrival, and the path was obliterated by a new white blanket. He got in and switched on the engine, letting it run for a minute to get the warm air flowing.
Joshua still stood in the doorway, watching him, his figure lit by the bright security light above the door. For one brief moment, Alex wanted to kill the engine, go back to the house, to the fireplace, and pour his heart out.
Let me get the trial out of the way first. Then we’ll talk.
There was a conversation coming, Alex knew that much. He only hoped by then that he’d sorted out the mess inside his head.
Not to mention his heart.