Chapter Nineteen
Kayden
“Oh my word, Kayden Somner, is that you?! Get over here and give an old woman a hug.” Lindsey, the receptionist at the pediatrics department, beams at me as she steps from behind the counter and opens her arms. I step into her embrace and hug her back as she proceeds to squeeze the life out of me.
With her being only five-foot-two, I tower over her by several inches, and I have to bend a little to hug her.
When she’s done squashing me to within an inch of my life, she eases me away from her, her brown eyes taking me in. “Look at you, so like your father.”
I blush at her praise. “Hi, Lindsey. You look great. New perm?”
She lights up, bobbing her gray corkscrews.
“Sure is, hon.” Lindsey has been working as a receptionist at the Barnacle Cove General Hospital as long as I can remember.
When I was a teenager, I often came by the pediatrics department after school when Mom was on an evening shift, but I haven’t been by since I came home.
“Looks amazing. How are you?”
“Well, you know, busy, busy, but my day just got a whole lot better seeing your sweet face. You home for good now, hon?”
“I am. Working at the shipyard with Dad and Caleb.” My stomach instantly flutters at the mention of Caleb and what we did yesterday at the construction site.
That was so fucking hot. And a little scary.
I don’t know if I’m completely sold on the idea of making outdoor sex part of our repertoire, but maybe on the rare occasion?
“Ah, yes, Caleb Morgan.” Lindsey fans herself and sighs. “If I wasn’t already married and twice a grandmother…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but I can only imagine where her thoughts are going. I swallow, then look around the waiting area where a few patients are waiting to be called.
“Is Mom around?”
“Sure, sure. She just popped down to Radiology, but she’ll be back in a sec.” Lindsey waves at an office chair next to hers. “Sit, sit. Tell me everything. How’s life been treating you lately, Kayden?”
To a lot of mind-blowing orgasms, thank you for asking, Lindsey.
“Uhm, it’s good—Oh, thanks.” I accept an oatmeal and raisin cookie from a jar that Lindsey holds out in front of me.
“Just made them this morning. Must’ve had a feeling my favorite Somner was gonna stop by.
” She winks, then grabs a cookie herself.
I take a bite, the sugary goodness melting on my tongue, pulling a moan from me.
“Good, right? I put in some pecans this time. Thought I’d shake things up a little.
” She waggles her painted eyebrows and laughs in that trickling way I love.
“They’re really good,” I mumble around a huge bite. “Real crunchy,” I add as I stuff the rest of the cookie into my mouth.
“I know, right? Now, go on, I want to know everything!” She brushes her lap free of crumbs, then looks at me wide-eyed like I’m about to rock her world with tales from the big city.
“Okay,” I chuckle, then update Lindsey on my graduation, although I’m sure she’s heard it ten-plus times from Mom already and seen all the pictures of me in my gown and hat.
I tell her about Emily, too, and how smart she is, and that she’s doing really well in med school.
Lindsey oohs and ahhs, then asks me how it’s been coming home and if a lot has changed or if it’s still the same old-same old.
I recount the last few weeks, telling her almost everything.
I focus on work and the apartment, avoiding mentioning Caleb because I don’t trust my face when I talk about him.
By the time I’m done, the cookie jar is nearly empty, and I’m tired and sated after a long day at work, trying to stay clear of my boyfriend.
Shit, Caleb’s my boyfriend. It still feels surreal.
I guess telling my parents this Sunday will make it real, though.
My chest tightens. I have a feeling Mom will be okay, but Dad…
Yeah, I’m not sure. I’m afraid of how he’s going to react.
Not toward me, but toward Caleb. If he’ll see it as a betrayal or if he’ll question Caleb’s intentions.
I’m pretty sure Caleb isn’t the kind of guy Dad would’ve picked for me—not because Caleb isn’t a good man, but because Dad knows his track record and has held front-row tickets to all of Caleb’s escapades.
I don’t know if Caleb’s past should worry me more than it does, but I just feel safe and confident when I’m with him.
I trust him, and I feel it when he embraces me, or I look into his eyes, that he’s with me, like truly with me, and that he’s serious about me too.
I just need to convince my parents that he is.
“Kayden, what a nice surprise.” I don’t notice Mom until she steps up behind me and ruffles my hair, then leans down and presses a kiss against my cheek. “Just like old times, right, Linds?”
“Hey, Mom. Yeah, I thought I’d just stop by.”
“And devour an entire jar of cookies, I see,” Mom laughs, then snatches the last one.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Well, I don’t blame you. Linds’ cookies are killer.”
“Speaking of killer, I’d better get back to work before Dr. Nitpick shows up.”
Mom rolls her eyes, mumbling, “I know,” around a bite of cookie.
I frown at the two of them. “What?”
Mom waves her hand. “Nothing. Just a new resident who thinks he was put on this earth to breathe down our necks every five minutes.”
Lindsey nods, placing the empty jar in the cabinet below her desk. “Too bad, actually. He’s kinda cute, and I think he plays for your team, hon.”
“Lindsey…” Mom chastises.
“Right, right, I’ll mind my own beeswax.” She pinches my cheek. “It sure was nice catching up with you, Kayden.”
“You too, Lindsey. Make sure to say hi to Laurie for me.” Laurie is Lindsey’s husband, and before he retired, he worked at the shipyard. He’d suffered a back injury at his previous workplace, but Dad and Caleb offered him a part-time position in the storage area, driving the forklift truck.
“Sure will. You come by anytime and say hi to him. He’d love to see you.”
I nod, then get up and hug Mom. She chuckles, then brushes at my face.
“My own little cookie monster.” Mom always knows how to make me feel like a little kid again.
“Always found you with your hand in the cookie jar as a kid whenever you came home from school.” She brushes my bangs out of my eyes, then murmurs, “My beautiful boy.”
“Mom…”
“Lindsey, I’m taking my break now. I’ll be in the cafeteria if Dr. Owens needs me.”
“Sure thing, Viv. No rush.” Lindsey places her headset on top of her gray curls, then starts tapping away on her keyboard.
The cafeteria is almost empty as we enter, a few patients and visitors sitting around some tables, chatting, nursing cups of coffee.
Mom grabs us two cups, then leads me to our usual spot, a small corner table overlooking the large park surrounding the hospital.
I sip my coffee, looking out at the large oak tree in the middle of the pristine lawn, flowerbeds lining small paths cutting through the grass.
Mom tilts her head, frowning. “So, what’s up?” Her long hair is gathered in a high ponytail, and she’s wearing a keychain in trans colors around her neck, holding her keycard. Vivian Somner, it says. Pediatric nurse. ‘Mom extraordinaire,’ it ought to say, too.
“Nothing,” I mumble, looking down at the table, tracing a crack in the surface with my index finger.
“Nothing, huh? So my son just came by to see me after a long day at work, even though I only just saw him the other day?” Mom’s voice is gentle, but I feel her eyes on me, boring into me.
I look up from the table, meeting her probing gaze. “Can’t I come see my mom at work?”
I hate how my voice trembles and the edge of indignation in it, but Mom is patient as always when she says, “Sure, you can, sweetie. It always makes me happy to see you. And you sure made Lindsey’s day, that’s for sure. She asks about you all the time.”
I love Mom. I won the lottery with both of my parents, but Mom is special.
She’s softer somehow, where Dad keeps his feelings more locked up.
She’s intuitive too, which is why she’s looking at me right now in that familiar way of hers, where it feels like she’s seeing all the way into my soul. She doesn’t push, though.
She takes a long sip from her coffee, then reaches for my hand across the table, squeezing it.
My stomach churns, and the words are just on the tip of my tongue.
I want to tell her. I think the reason why I came today was that I wanted her to notice something different about me and for her to ask me about it, so I’d have an excuse to tell her.
“You know I love you more than anything, right?” She brushes her thumb back and forth across my knuckles, and my heart races in my chest.
“I know.”
“And that I’ll always have your back.”
“Jesus, Mom, I know,” I blurt, then lower my voice. “You and Dad have proven that time and time again. I know that. I owe everything to you guys.”
“You owe me nothing, Kayden. Absolutely nothing. That’s not part of the deal.”
“What deal?”
“The deal you agree to when you become a parent. You can’t take that deal and then have conditions or limits to your love. You need to accept everything that comes with that precious gift of becoming a parent. You have to love your child unconditionally.”
Tears gather in my eyes at Mom’s words because she has. Both she and Dad have. “You have, Mom.” I pause, biting my lip. “But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have been easier for you guys if I hadn’t been trans.”