Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MIA
Willow
How was last night with Steven? Did he behave himself?
Sitting cross legged on the end of my bed, I lift my fingertips to my lips, my mind reeling back to last night as I read over Willow’s message a second time. I’m transported back in time, back to the very moment when Caleb’s lips crashed into mine.
Even though we had almost kissed before that moment, it was still unexpected. The last thing I expected was for that incident with Steven to trigger a reaction like that from him.
He was good.
I had to leave early though, so I can only speak for him for the first two periods.
What happened?
I had to go get Tella from Andi so she could head home.
Noah had the game on and I saw your man get into a fight.
My heart crawls into my throat as two words glare back at me.
He’s not my man.
What happened, though? The fight looked so unprovoked.
I roll my lips between my teeth, setting my phone down as I nervously tuck my hair behind my ear. There’s a soft knock on my door, which interrupts me just as I’m about to come up with some answer that tiptoes around the real reason.
“Come in,” I call out, knowing it can only be one person. The knob turns and the door slowly opens, revealing my father on the other side. He’s wearing a pair of joggers and a hooded sweatshirt, his glasses adorning his face.
“Hey,” he pauses, clearing his throat as he scratches at the stubble along his jaw. “I’m getting ready to head out and wanted to come check on you before I leave.”
“Oh shoot,” I mumble, climbing off my bed. “I didn’t even realize the time. I need to get ready to go to Caleb’s.”
My father crosses his arms over his chest, a frown tugging at his lips as he takes a couple measured steps into my room. I drag my bag back out from under my bed and start collecting outfits to put into it as my father takes a seat at my desk. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What do you mean?” I glance over my shoulder as I pull two sweaters from my closet. “About me heading to Caleb’s?”
“Not exactly,” he says, shaking his head as he purses his lips. “I wanted to talk to you about Caleb and this situation.”
My movements falter and my throat suddenly feels thick. Does he know about the kiss between Caleb and me? How? I force my hands to work, folding my clothing in a rush now and tucking them into my bag as I swallow hard. “What about it?”
“Caleb’s behavior on the ice seemed to be unprovoked by any of the players, but there was something one of the assistant coaches noticed that happened before the fight.”
He pauses and I hold my breath, knowing exactly what is coming next.
“I wasn’t paying attention to the Jumbotron, but apparently the last people it had on the kiss cam were you and Steven.”
I swallow again and release a shallow breath. “Yeah . . .” I say, my voice trailing off as I zip my bag closed. It’s not something I can deny and my father knows the kind of relationship Steven and I have. He knows there was nothing to that kiss.
“I know that kiss was just two friends having fun at a game together.” He raises his eyebrows as I finally turn to look at him. “Did Caleb know that was what that was?”
“I mean, I don’t know,” I say in a rush, my voice a touch higher than normal as I lift my shoulders and drop them. “He knew I was watching the first two periods with a friend.”
My father lets out a sigh as he scratches his jaw again. He turns his head, looking out the window for a moment before glancing back at me. “Did Caleb start that fight because of what he saw and what he may have thought about it?”
Shit.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer this question. Honestly, I didn’t even think anyone would have noticed or put two and two together, but then again, Caleb isn’t exactly known for provoking fights on the ice. Especially a fight that is completely unwarranted.
My father and I have always been close. The only things I’ve ever kept from him were things he didn’t need to know, like when I lost my virginity or that time I drank too much at Grace Michaels’ house the summer before my senior year of college.
If I tell him the truth, I will be blowing up Caleb’s spot and for some reason, that just doesn’t feel right. I can’t help but feel like I’m throwing him under the bus if I say it.
“No.”
The word doesn’t come out nearly as strong as I pictured it would in my mind. Instead, it’s barely audible. I quickly tuck my hair behind my ears, my gaze dropping to the floor before I look at my father again to catch him frowning.
“Meep,” my father says, tilting his head to the side as he corkscrews his lips. “You’ve never been a good liar.”
“Dad, please,” I say back to him, letting out a breath as I shake my head. “I’m not the person you should be asking that question. And honestly, there’s no reason for you to ask Caleb about it either.”
He straightens his head and arches an eyebrow at me. “And why is that?”
“Because it was an isolated incident.”
He holds eye contact. “It was, but I can’t afford to have him fucking up on the ice, Mia. When Caleb’s wife passed, I was certain he’d never step foot on the ice again. Surprisingly enough, he was back a month after. He blocked everything out, dug in deep and has been locked in ever since.”
My eyebrows tug downward. “So you want him to operate like a robot, essentially.”
My father purses his lips. “No. I want him focused.” He runs his tongue over his top teeth. “I don’t want him provoking fights.”
“I don’t control him.”
“No, you’re right,” he says, nodding in agreement.
“But perhaps you influence him in some way.” He lets out a deep breath, running his hand through his hair.
“You’re an adult, so I’m not going to have a talk with you like you’re a teenager, but Caleb is not someone you should be getting involved with. ”
Now I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you saying this as my father or as his coach?”
He grabs his chin, his brow furrowing. “Both.”
“I’m not getting involved with him, Dad,” I say, shaking my head before disappearing into the bathroom attached to my room. I grab my toiletries and slip back into my bedroom, tucking them in the front pocket of my bag. “I think he and I wouldn’t see eye to eye on what we want from another person.”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Meep.” He pushes on his knees to rise to his feet and closes the distance between us. “I also don’t need to have a scandal on my hands if something unsavory were to happen between the two of you.”
“You don’t have to worry about any of that,” I tell him, not sure if I’m lying or telling the truth. Sure we kissed last night, but really that doesn’t mean it will ever happen again.
I saw the conflicted look in Caleb’s eyes last night.
But I also felt the way he kissed and touched me.
My father pulls me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around the tops of my shoulders. “Regardless of all that, at the end of the day, I just want you to be happy. You will always be my little girl and I will always be protective of you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I murmur against his chest, hugging him back before we both release one another. “I promise, if there ends up being something you need to be worried about, I will tell you.”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “I know how things go, Mia. I was young once too.”
“Dad.” I pause, staring at him as I purse my lips.
“Mia.”
“I love you. Have a safe flight.”
He chuckles lightly, shaking his head at me. “Deflecting, are we?”
“Nope,” I retort, smiling at him. “Just making sure we both get to where we need to be on time.”
He rolls his wrist, checking the expensive timepiece wrapped around it. “Shit.” He glances back at me. “Okay. Be safe and if Caleb Ford ever gives you any problems, you let me know immediately.”
Instinctively, I roll my eyes like a petulant teenager. “He won’t.”
“He’d better not,” he says, shaking his head. “Okay, I’m off.”
We say our goodbyes before he heads down the stairs as I get the rest of my things together. I grab my phone from the bed and it vibrates in my hand as soon as I pick it up, reminding me of my unfinished conversation with Willow.
And she’s left half a dozen messages in my absence.
Do you know why he got into a fight?
Mia, you left me on read.
Did something happen?
Please tell me the fight was because of you, omg.
Mia.
Mia, so help me God, you’d better answer me or I’m heading to your house now.
Sorry, I was talking to my dad while getting ready to head to Caleb’s.
Excuses.
Let’s skip to the good part.
The kiss cam landed on Steven and me and you know how Steven is.
Showy motherfucker. He kissed you on the screen and Caleb got pissed, didn’t he?
OMG MIA! This is huge.
Yeah . . . lol
What happened afterwards? Did you talk to him?
Well, yeah.
AND?!
We kind of kissed.
Mia Evelyn Landry. What do you mean kind of?!?
Okay, not kind of. He said it should have been him who kissed me, not Steven and then we kissed.
Holy shit, I am living for this right now.
Well, don’t because I’m pretty sure it won’t be happening again.
Oh no, why?
If my dad gets ahold of him and has a talk with him, I’m fairly certain he’ll never look in my direction again. My dad doesn’t want a scandal on his hands.
I swear to God, if your dad messes this up, I will skin him alive.
I don’t know, it was just kind of weird after the kiss. We stopped and he just had this look in his eye. Not like he regretted it necessarily, but almost as if he felt guilty.
I have faith, Mia. One of us has to.
He’s so emotionally unavailable and I’ve never done just casual with someone.
Well, now might be your chance.
Everyone who comes into your life isn’t meant to stay. It’s not always supposed to be that deep or that serious. Just let yourself have a little bit of fun.
And what if he doesn’t want that? What if he doesn’t want anything with me?
Then fuck him, that’s his loss.
Go sleep with his best friend or his brother or something.
You’re such a menace.
I gotta go, but we’ll talk later.
Love you!
Locking my phone, I tuck it into my pocket, collect my bags, and head downstairs to get ready to go to Caleb’s. Anxiety rolls in the pit of my stomach as I think over my conversation with my dad, what Willow said, and how last night came to an end.
In a way, I feel foolish for how I responded to Caleb and the way I kissed him back.
I know that Willow is right and this doesn’t have to be anything serious.
It might not be anything more than a kiss, and the thought of trying to pursue anything with him after that literally makes me feel like I’m going to break out in hives.
I can’t control Caleb anymore than I can control the outcome from us kissing last night. He let me walk away and maybe he was feeling just as confused by it as I was.
The concept of anything casual is borderline foreign to me. I’ve never done casual with anyone before and I’m not so sure Caleb is the person I want to test it with.
He’s so hot and cold, it gives me whiplash. One minute he’s warm and kind and the next, he’s shutting down and blocking me out.
I’m not good at reading other people and I’ll be damned if I’m the one who approaches him about this situation.
If he wants this to be anything else, he can be the one to come to me.