Chapter Twenty-Seven
August
Liam
Would it be cheesy to say my life is a dream? Yes. But it would also be true. Ellis is my soul. Jack is my inspiration. Our baby girl is my future.
Everything hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows, but it has been getting better. Over the past six weeks we have celebrated Jack’s birthday with cake and his school friends at the ice rink, his new favourite place. Our little guy is six years old with the mind of a fifty-year-old.
He has this ability to bury himself into you so easily that he even gets Edge to join in skating with a bunch of kids – I thought I’d see pigs fly before I saw that. Though I also enjoyed showing the kids the ropes, it was fun to go back to basics.
Ellis and I have fallen asleep and woken up in each other’s arms, only separating when she gets night sweats. She even let me take her on a real adult date night when Jack had a sleepover with Rook. It felt like a huge step for us, but hilarious at the same time. I took a woman who is heavily pregnant with my baby, out on our first date… but then again, it isn’t technically our first date, seeing as she’s also my ex. When I think about our situation, it sounds like a sitcom.
For our first “real date” I took her for a classy meal with a chef’s selection menu, which didn’t go as planned. They put down a plate of salmon slices on crackers for the starter and Ellis came seconds away from vomiting. Let’s just say it wasn’t my best idea.
I learned from my mistakes, and the second date was much more successful. As Ellis’s bump has gotten bigger, she has also been in a lot of pain. I wanted to do something where she could relax and wouldn’t feel the need to dress up and make herself uncomfortable.
There isn’t much I can do for her pain, but I borrowed Edge’s truck and took us to a drive-in cinema. I stuffed the bed of the truck with a mattress and pillows and blankets for us to cuddle under the stars. I felt like a retro teenager in the 1950s, making out in the drive-in. It’s something we would have done back in college.
It’s been a month and a half since Ellis vowed to try with us, and try she has. Not only has she been openly giving me a chance, she has also been trying to communicate more, even if it still isn’t her strong suit.
I’ve learned how much she loves my praise, both in and out of the bedroom. She loves my relationship with Jack, but there are things she doesn’t like, too. She hates when I spend my money on her; something about feeling guilty about it. She also hates that I have no plans to stop spending my money on her – she will get used to it.
Probably.
Another thing I’ve learned is as much as my Sunshine has changed since college, there is so much that is the same. She could still commit a crime when she’s too hungry and she still has this intense focus on the things she cares about. In college she cared most about her studying and where our respective futures were heading. But right now, that’s changed. Her focus is her family. Our family.
My focus is the same. My wallet is filled with polaroids of Ellis’s bump, as well as shots of her and Jack together. For a while, my favourite picture was Ellis standing with a bouquet of flowers resting on her five-month bump, but now it’s a picture of Jack kissing her seven-month bump.
There are only eighteen days to go until the due date and Ellis is in full nesting mode. Every day she has a new piece of furniture delivered for me to put together. I love feeling useful. I have painted the nursery a lavender colour, then pink, then grey and back to lavender because Ellis couldn’t pick which she wanted.
When she walks into the nursery to see it coming together more every day, she gets this flushed glow and a shine in her eyes that makes me weak. She has me truly wrapped around her finger and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
That being said though, I can tell she is getting stir crazy. I’ve gotten less strict with her being bed bound and have given in to her begging to live a more normal life as long as she keeps herself safe and doesn’t put strain on her body.
See? I can compromise. From spending so much time lying around and scrolling, she has become a master at finding the best online deals including a spa day she has booked for her and Lyndsey. I told her they could go to any spa she wanted because money isn’t an issue. She didn’t love that and booked the deal she found anyway. She’s been excited for this day since she booked it, giving her something to look forward to that will make her feel more human as well as relaxing her before the baby comes.
“Liam! They’re here! They’re here!” Jacks hyper voice yells from the bottom of the stairs. Apparently from his squeals, the team are here. Jack wanted to go back to the rink and there was no way they were going to miss out on some ice time with their new six-year-old best friend.
It takes another ten minutes to wrangle him and Ellis and get them packed into the back of Anders’s car. Ellis asked to get dropped off at Bloom and Blossom where Lyndsey is waiting so she can check that the building is still there after nearly three months away. Anders was all for popping to the shop – I wonder if a certain redhead had anything to do with that.
Speaking of Lyndsey, she is waiting against the side of her car when we pull up, and Anders and I both hop out at the same time. Me to help Ellis out and help her into Lyndsey’s car and Anders for… I’m not sure what.
“Hey, cowboy.” Lyndsey winks over her shoulder at him after she has hugged Ellis and rubbed the bump.
“Mornin’ Darlin’.” The charming mother-fucker kisses the back of her hand.
“Oy fucker, you didn’t kiss my hand. I thought you were a gentleman.” Ellis teases, her British twang sounding stronger in her faux offence, Lyndsey runs to put Ellis’s bag in the trunk of her car trying to hide a blush.
“My mama would never forgive me, ma’am.” He kisses Ellis’s hand which makes her cackle and make a kissy face at him.
“Okay, now a kiss from you.” She demands from me, and my heart grows at her initiating intimacy like this. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I pull her to my chest and kiss her, nothing inappropriate in front of Jack, but enough to satisfy us for a few hours until I can see her again.
By the time we pull up to the rink, Jack is vibrating with excitement in the back and he gets even more excited when he sees Edge and Rook waiting by the door. Anders barely has time to cut the engine before Jack is out of the door.
“Do you have them? Do you have them?” Jack yells as he runs over to Rook jumping at his feet. As a belated birthday gift Rook promised he would buy Jack his own pair of skates.
I wanted to get them myself but Rook felt like it was his duty as Jack’s favourite player. When I tried to tell him that Felix is his favourite again, he threw a puck at my head. I settled for getting him his own stick and I’m glad because we got to have guy time when I showed him how to tape his stick properly.
“Depends on if you’ve been good, eh?” Rook lifts a bag over his head so Jack can’t reach, he might be tall for his age but there’s no way he could get close to Rook’s six-one frame.
“I’ve been so good. The goodest I promise.” Jack flops his limbs around. Even Edge looks excited for Jack to get on the ice with all his own gear for the first time.
“Ruin has Jack been good enough to get his own skates?” Rook asks, but I know that even if Jack had been a terror he would get them anyway; he has us all wrapped around his finger.
“Yes, I have. I have. Tell him, Dad.”
Silence falls over the parking lot.
Jack must not have heard what he said because he is still jumping up to get Rook’s bag.
I’m stuck in a stunned silence.
I know Jack wanted me to be his dad, but I didn’t think the day would come where he actually called me his dad. I mean, I guess I’m the only man who’s been in his life to this degree, and I know I wish he was my son, but hearing him say the words stops me dead.
The guys must see how emotional I am because while I stand there fumbling for words, Anders slaps me on the back and Rook coughs before giving Jack his bag.
“Here you go, bud,” he says not looking away from me. Edge opens the door for us and Anders all but walks me into the lobby.
“Yesssss!” Jack sings gripping the skates close to his chest with a megawatt smile on his face.
“I was going to ask if you’re ready to become a dad but it looks like you already are.” Anders laughs lightly, testing my mood, but my heart feels like it’s outside of my chest. Jack has it in his hands.
Everyone around me is talking, asking Jack if he has all his kit and helping him get pads on, but I just watch them all.
My friends are helping my son.
My son.
We are teaching him how to play hockey, buying him skates and sticks and a top-of-the-line helmet. Not because we are trying to buy his affection but because we all want him to be safe – he is mine to keep safe. In my mental future where me and Ellis are married, I always pictured Jack and Ellis sharing my surname but until right now I didn’t think Jack would see me as anything other than his stepdad at best. But in his heart, in my heart, he is already mine.
To protect, to teach, to love.
Still unused to wearing a full kit, Jack waddles more than walks to the edge of the ice. The four of us follow behind him, smiling when he tries to take off his skate guards and can’t because he is unable to reach past his shin pads.
With a deep laugh Edge swings Jack into the air so I can pull off the guards for him and Edge makes sure to tickle him before putting him down.
“Jay, stop! I need to focus!” Jack chastises, he sounds just like his mom.
“Sorry, bud.” Edge tries to bite back a laugh but I see it all over his face.
Before I join them on the ice for a game of freeze tag, I take a bunch of pictures for Ellis. In some you can see how hard Jack is focusing to stay on his feet and keep up with the guys. Obviously they are letting him catch them, anything to make him laugh.
My favourite picture though is one of Jack skating after the three guys. His smile is wide and just looking at the picture you can almost hear his laugh as the guys scream for my help while he chases them up and down. Edge tries to trip Rook, yelling that he is a sacrifice to help him and Anders get away, but all that does is put Rook on Jack’s team.
After sending the pictures over I finally join them on the ice, taking some pucks to let Jack practise shooting with his new stick.
Knowing my plan, the guys line up for Jack while he takes some practice shots towards the goal first.
“Ice dodgeball! Jack you can use as many pucks as you like and your goal is to hit the guys and get them out.” His eyes flame for a second and I see nothing but determination, the same that I see on the guys before we hit the ice for a game.
“What if I miss?” he asks as if we could be disappointed in him.
“Then you try again.” I shrug setting the first puck in front of him. Jack swings his head left and right and shimmies his shoulders, relaxing his limbs the way we showed him. Edge sees how focused Jack is and holds his hands in front of his junk. When Rook laughs at him he just shrugs and says he needs to protect his jewels.
“It’s not my fault your jewels are so small a puck won’t hit ’em.” Edge laughs causing Rook to frown and push him. Anders and Rook follow Edge’s actions though, as Jack skates up and slaps the puck right at them. I mean right at them. The puck flies past Anders’s face with about two inches to spare.
“Wait I think imma need a helmet!” Anders yells skating over to the bench as I try to stop laughing.
“Sorry!” Jack calls after him but he still holds his hand out to me for a high five.
A year ago, I never would have pictured this as my life. A six-year-old son looking at me for support and guidance, a daughter just over two weeks away from her due date and a beautiful woman waking up in my arms.
Damn I wouldn’t have believed it when me and Ellis slept together in December. The pregnancy has flown by so quickly and my life has changed so much for the better that I am so thankful that Cassie made me go out with the team that night. Without her threatening me that day I wouldn’t have gone and my life would be just the way it always was. Lonely and stagnant. Hanging on to hockey with all of my strength because I had nothing else to hold onto.
Now my arms are full and so is my heart.