Chapter 45
Lily
This can’t be real. There’s no way what I’m looking at is real.
I felt off, and when I was talking to Sutton, she had the genius idea to have me come over and take a pregnancy test since she had some left over. I laughed but indulged her anyway because I was convinced it would be negative.
But there’s nothing negative about the two very dark pink lines staring at me right now.
I couldn’t say anything when I came out of the bathroom. I just held up the test to show her, at first her jaw dropped in shock, then she pushed herself up and pulled me into a hug while her huge pregnant belly pressed against…mine.
I look down at myself; I guess I’m a little bloated, but I don’t think I look much different. But there’s a baby in there. A baby. Parker’s and my baby.
“How did this happen?” I ask in disbelief.
Sutton chuckles. “Uh, well I’m pretty sure you know how babies are made and I’m sure you and Parker have been practicing a bit.”
“Practicing, sure, but not actually trying. Don’t you have to try to get pregnant?” I’m in shock.
Sutton just laughs harder. “Nope. Have you been on birth control?”
“Of course I have, and I’m usually really good at…taking it…” My voice fades because I realize that with my new work schedule being night shift has really thrown me off, and I haven’t been as good at taking it as I should be. I didn’t think much of it, until right now.
My eyes fill with tears I don’t want to fall. “What am I going to do? We just got back together.”
“What do you mean? Have you met Parker? He’s going to be so excited. Didn’t you say he just asked you to move in?”
“Yeah, Tulips and me, not three of us.”
“Lily.” She rests her hands on my shoulder. “That man loves you so much, he’s going to be so excited I promise you.”
Rationally, I know she makes sense. But my mind is still in such a panic mode that I’m struggling to believe he’ll actually be happy about this. I want to be happy, I really do, but I’m scared. Terrified, even.
I look at Sutton and how much her stomach as grown and I think about that being me. “Does it hurt?” I ask.
“Pregnancy?” She rubs her hand along her stomach. “Sometimes, but it’s also beautiful. Except the sickness. I won’t lie, that sucks.”
I groan, falling backwards on the couch. “What if I’m not ready to be a mom? What if I’m bad at it?”
“You won’t be,” she insists. I still feel like I can hardly take care of myself most of the time. But then I think of Parker and how he would jump at the chance to take care of me. He fills in my gaps and will do anything for me.
Just like he’ll do anything for our baby.
Our baby.
My phone rings across the room, and my heart rate skyrockets thinking it’s Parker. He’s on shift, but sometimes he calls me when he has downtime. I don’t think I can talk to him right now. I can’t tell him over the phone, there’s no way.
Sutton waddles over to get my phone, and when she picks it up her face falls in concern and I sit up. “What’s wrong?”
“Jameson’s calling you.”
“What? Why would he be calling?”
She just shakes her head, handing me the phone with a pit in my stomach as I answer. “Hello?”
“Lily?” Jameson’s deep voice fills the line, and the pit grows.
“Yeah?”
He’s quiet for a second that feels like it stretches on for an eternity.
I want to tell him to spit it out because I’m about to lose my mind.
He clears his throat before continuing, “I’m calling because Parker has you as his emergency contact and there’s been an accident.
He’s in the hospital. It’s best if you come here. ”
“What?” I fly up, already grabbing my shoes and keys to leave. “Is he okay? What happened?”
“He’s…he’s stable right now, but unconscious. The doctors can give you more information when you get here.”
I’m already halfway out the door with Sutton struggling to keep up. She does her best without asking any questions as I’m flying out the door to get to my car.
I realized I haven’t hung up on Jameson, but also, I don’t know what to say.
I sit in the driver’s seat, turning the car on as Sutton makes her way down the steps to join me because I’m not about to leave her like this.
Before she gets to the car, I squeak out the only thing I can think of, “He can’t leave me. ”
“Trust me, he doesn’t want to.”
We hang up as Sutton climbs into my car and as soon as she’s buckled, I’m flying off her property to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.
Neither of us say anything. My phone is blowing up, but I don’t dare look at it; I don’t know who could be calling and texting me, but it’ll have to wait. I need to see Parker. I need to get more answers. I need him.
Right before we get to the hospital, Sutton finally speaks. “He’s going to be okay.”
I hardly notice the tears that have started falling down my cheeks because I’ve been so focused on driving, but I reply with a whisper, “He has to be.”
“Go in, I’ll park,” Sutton tells me.
I nod, pulling up to the entrance and hopping out so I can get to Parker as soon as possible. I have tunnel vision as I rush into the hospital and up to the front desk. I can barely speak when the receptionist speaks to me. I’m not even sure what she said to me, my ears feel like I’m underwater
“I need to see Parker.” I gasp for breath and try to stop myself from breaking down right here in the hospital lobby. “Parker Fuller, please. I need to see him.”
The triage nurse must recognize me, and her face softens. She doesn’t question me, and tells me where to go, I’m sure I’m going to get lost, but then I hear my name, and I look up to see Jameson standing by an elevator.
He tilts his head, gesturing me to follow him. I try to read his face, but it’s completely blank.
“You should know Sutton is here parking my car,” I tell him when I approach.
“I know.” He nods, but doesn’t elaborate. I can assume she told him we were coming.
We get in the elevator, and I put my hand on my stomach both because I feel like I’m going to be sick and thinking about the baby that’s growing there, the piece of both Parker and me that we created. I need him to know about him or her. I need him to meet them. I need him.
As soon as the door opens, I’m racing out even though I don’t know where I’m going. Jameson guides me to a room and as soon as I’m in the doorway I break down in tears. I rush over to Parker’s bedside and collapse onto my knees, grabbing his hand in mine, dropping my head onto his arm while I sob.
Eventually, I look up to see him, and my heart hurts; he has a tube in his mouth, his eyes are closed. He’s covered in soot, his other arm is in a cast, he has several gashes all over him, and his light brown hair looks black. But he’s still Parker, the man I’m unbelievably in love with.
“What happened?” I finally manage to ask.
Jameson clears his throat. “There was a fire, and we went in to clear the building.” He pauses, pulling up a seat next to me. “He saw a bike and ran in believing there was someone inside.”
“Was there?” I gasp.
Jameson swallows roughly. “Yes, it was your brother, Lily.”
“What?” I screech. “What the fuck was Ethan doing in a fire? Is he okay? Where is he? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We don’t know what he was doing there. I told your mom but had to inform you about Parker.”
“Where is he? Is he okay?” I ask again because I don’t like the lack of information I’m getting from this man. Even if he’s my best friend’s husband, he’s irritating me with how calm he’s being. “How the fuck are you being so calm anyway? Parker is your friend!”
“He is,” Jameson agrees, and now I can hear the pain in his voice. “I have to be calm, Lily. It’s a part of my job. We have to keep a level head.”
I clench my jaw because he still hasn’t answered me about Ethan.
“Ethan is okay. Has some smoke inhalation damage and a few cuts and bruises. He’s resting, but Parker saved his life.”
I look back at the man lying in the hospital bed currently fighting for his own, knowing he saved my brothers. This perfect selfless man. My throat clogs with a sob that I have no choice but to let out. Holding onto Parker’s hand, I drop my head back down and cry against him.
I want to scream at the sky, or whatever being there may be out there to ask why this had to happen. That it’s not fair and that he has to live. He has to, not just for me, but for us.
“I’ll give you a minute if you want,” Jameson says, resting his hand on my shoulder. I continue to cry, unable to even lift my head. “When you’re ready, if you want to go see Ethan, I can take you to him.”
I nod, unable to do anything more than that.
I hear the door shut after he leaves, and I completely lose it.
I can hardly breathe through the tears. I finally lift my head to look at him; he hasn’t moved, the only sound in the room is the beeping of the machines and the faint noise from the other side of the door.
“Come back to me,” I plead. “Come back to us.”
He doesn’t react and I hate this. I need to see his eyes, hear his voice, see his smile. I just need a sign to know he’s going to be okay. “I need you, Parker. We’re going to have a baby, and I can’t do this alone.”
I manage to stand up on shaky legs to take his hand and press it to my stomach.
He’s still warm and if I close my eyes I can almost pretend like everything is normal.
Just for a second. I hold his hand that’s so large it almost expands the entirety of my stomach, but I have to hold it flat against myself.
“You’re going to make the best dad, I just know it.”
Reality slams into me when he doesn’t respond and I know he’s not going to. I collapse back into the chair as the tears take over once again. I’m not sure if I’m actually speaking or just thinking two words, but I keep repeating them, come back.