CHAPTER ELEVEN
VASILIOPENEDHISEYES. It took him a few moments to remember he was back in the palace, sleeping in the King’s bed. Gone were all his books and his tranquil walls. Instead, his senses were assaulted by a gaudy room and an ornate four-poster bed.
Also behind him was his honeymoon.
The remaining days had passed far too quickly, with Vasili exploring Helia’s body for as long and as frequently as he’d been able to. He had taken great pride in making her scream out his name or having her forget what she was saying with a single look from him.
He was happy that Helia had fully accepted the terms of their relationship, and having an outlet for their attraction made it easier to be in her company—especially since he could barely keep his hands off her. It was a shield between him and Helia while they safely explored their physical connection without any risk of growing attached. But still, every kiss, every taste of her drew him in. So he knew sex was still too big a risk. That kind of intimacy with Helia would be different from anything he had before, and he had to protect himself.
He heaved a sigh. This would take a great deal of getting used to.
What made it all the more unbearable was the fact that his wife was asleep in his arms. A more perfect sight he couldn’t imagine, and it was the reason he had struggled through yet another night without much sleep.
The nights, he found, were the hardest.
In his previous life Vasili hadn’t minded sleeping next to his conquests, because he’d known they would be gone as soon as the sun was up and he would have little or nothing to do with them again. With Helia it was much, much different. She was meant to be his partner, and he was growing fond of her, but sleeping in the same bed as her for the sake of appearances without the excuse of sex still felt far too intimate. As if he was inviting her into his heart for her company. For her heart. To create a bond.
He couldn’t have that.
Not when all he’d experienced was being cast aside when he’d craved a bond with his family. When he’d been young and na?ve and had trusted that they would be there for him and love him even if they were busy. It had never happened, and it had taught him a lesson to keep his heart walled off. To forsake the bonds that people usually sought.
So he couldn’t lower his guard, which meant he never relaxed enough to rest, and therefore was continuously tormented by her presence in the dark.
‘Helia,’ he called gently as he pulled away from her. ‘We have an appearance to make.’
As he had been instructed, Andreas had ensured that the orphanage was ready for their visit.
She groaned, burrowing deeper into her pillow. Vasili curled his hands into fists, fighting the urge to brush her hair away from her face.
‘You don’t want to keep the children waiting.’
‘No.’ She yawned, stretching her body, and Vasili couldn’t help himself. He pulled her under him, kissing the strip of her exposed stomach. Kissing a path up her torso until his lips locked with hers.
‘A girl could get used to this sort of wake-up.’
‘A queen,’ he said, low-voiced in her ear. ‘And you’d better get out of this bed before I keep us both here indefinitely.’
It was so much easier to fall into passion. To ease the ache of want with physicality that still allowed him his barriers.
‘Don’t threaten me with a good time, Vasili.’ She grinned.
‘Are you ready for today?’
It was one thing for her to be a queen within the palace walls, quite another to be one in public.
‘I think I am. Andreas went over the itinerary and what is expected of me. I think I’m prepared.’
‘There will be media.’
He could see her tense. The apprehension in her face.
‘I’m sure I’ll manage.’
‘You don’t have to manage, Helia. If it becomes too much, lean on me. Understood?’
He was far more experienced at dealing with all the attention, and truthfully still felt a twinge of guilt for having brought Helia into this mess. The least he could do was make it easier on her. Vasili was aware that there was still a chance that this life could turn him into someone like his parents, so he would choose to be different—and being considerate of his wife was one of those choices.
‘Yes,’ she said.
She placed her hand on his cheek, and he felt his body responding to the warm touch. If he didn’t leave the bed now, he wasn’t going to.
Vasili waited in the palace hall dressed in a blue suit. Everything had been picked out for him. Every piece considered for the image the palace wanted to present. He could only imagine what Helia would be put through this morning. He hoped Andreas and Carissa were going easy on her. It ground on his nerves, the way they treated her, and he would very soon be having a conversation with both of them.
Thankfully, he wasn’t allowed to stew for very long as Helia descended the grand staircase, looking an absolute vision. Her hair had been left curly and loose, pulled back, away from her face. Her make-up had been done softly enough that the woman he’d been on honeymoon with was still clearly on display. And that dress... White satin flowed over her body to her narrow waist, where it flared out in pale blue and green flowers to her calves. He wanted to run his hands all over her. Place them on that narrow waist and whisk her away somewhere they could be alone.
‘Beautiful,’ he said.
‘You don’t look too bad yourself, Your Majesty.’
He could see the way she looked at him. As if she would like nothing more than to rip away his suit. In just a few days, Helia had gone from being shy and inhibited, unsure if she should touch him, to demanding. Almost confident in her want for pleasure. It satisfied him greatly that she would share that side of herself with him.
Vasili took her hand in his. They would no doubt be photographed from the moment they stepped out of the palace. Together they climbed into the waiting Rolls-Royce bearing the flags of Thalonia.
The ride to the orphanage was longer than he’d thought it would be. Upmarket buildings faded into modest storefronts, which morphed into more battered structures. Seidon had always been the pride of the Kingdom. Its streets were supposed to be rich. His parents would have had everyone believe that the people were happy, but here they looked forgotten. There was none of the vibrancy, none of the life he would have associated with his home. These streets were nothing like the ones he had partied in or ridden his motorcycle along. There wasn’t any freedom here.
‘Even as a commoner, you don’t get choices. You have to make do with what you get dealt.’
Helia’s voice came back to him...her words from their first meeting.
Without realising it, he curled his hand tighter around hers and she squeezed back.
They arrived at a nondescript white building. Cameras were already flashing. A line of people waited at the entrance, and once the car door was opened Vasili stepped out, then helped Helia, who emerged with a smile and a wave. It wasn’t a bright smile. There was a tightness around her eyes.
‘Your Majesties...’ The first person in line—a world-weary-looking woman—greeted them with a curtsey. Vasili extended his hand. The woman shook it with ill-concealed hope.
‘It is good to see you, Maria.’ Helia smiled, holding both the woman’s hands.
Vasili was taken aback by the familiarity between them. He wondered if Helia had volunteered here, and that was why she’d chosen this place for them to make their first appearance. She’d had a life before he’d plucked her from it, and she had shown so much kindness and consideration. It was a theory that made sense.
As they greeted the line of people, he noticed the warmth with which they all received her. He placed a hand on the small of her back and hazarded a glance behind him. Andreas and Carissa stood further away, allowing all the attention to fall on the new King and Queen, but his private secretary had an inscrutable look on his face, and Vasili didn’t understand how he couldn’t show at least a little emotion, standing where they were.
‘Shall we show you around?’ Maria asked.
‘Please...after you.’ Vasili gestured ahead of him.
The outside had barely prepared him for the inside. It was clear they were doing the best they could, with the funds they had, but calling the place shabby was as generous as he could be. There was a large, outdated kitchen, a common area, and numerous bedrooms with two to three children sharing each. He was relieved to see a recreation room of sorts, but it was severely lacking. The offices weren’t that much better.
Helia had told him that she wanted to help the forgotten people of Thalonia, and he hadn’t really known who that could be. Now, he hated it that he had been blind to this side of his kingdom. All those years he’d spent rebelling against the crown in a way that served him he could have spent rebelling in a way that served others. It had always been obvious that the politicians favoured the wealthy, as had his parents. But he could have used his rebellion for good, and it angered him that he had been so ignorant. Angered him that he had been lectured on propriety in his behaviour as a royal, when a royal was meant to serve everyone. His family didn’t do that.
‘Is there somewhere we can discuss matters?’ he asked Maria.
‘Yes, of course.’
‘We would like to speak with all of you as well,’ Helia said to the other staff.
They were taken into a room with a large table and some boxes stacked against the wall.
‘I apologise. We can’t offer you a better meeting room. Unfortunately, we don’t have much space.’
‘No apologies are necessary,’ he said. ‘We’re here to listen. It’s obvious that you’re struggling—where are the issues?’
Maria needed no further encouragement than Helia nodding at her to speak. It was amazing to watch her interact with these people. His people. He had been worried about how she would fare today, but he hadn’t needed to be. She was warm and listened carefully to their grievances, interjecting only to clarify their points. She showed a patience that he was struggling with—because it seemed Maria had to manage too much. There wasn’t a proper organisational structure that would benefit the orphanage or the children. Hardly any of them would achieve any kind of greatness simply because there were no avenues for their betterment. Most of the staff were volunteers. How did this help anyone?
Things had to change.
He was grateful to Helia for showing him what he had been blind to. She was promising Maria things would improve. A move that had Andreas scowling.
Upon re-entering the main building, they finally got to meet some of the children that this place helped. From babies who grasped his heart in their tiny little fists to teenagers who were far too jaded for their young years. He could tell that Carissa was pleased they would get pictures that she could spin into something wildly positive, but if it hadn’t been for Helia’s presence beside him he would have been completely untethered. Sucked into his disappointment and anger.
He pulled her closer. Wrapping an arm around her waist as they further spoke to the volunteers. He needed her near.
But just as he had the thought, she was whisked away—and it couldn’t have made him happier to see her go.
A little hand clasped onto Helia’s, and out the corner of her eye she saw several of the royal entourage step forward. With a single look she ordered them away—not even stopping to reflect on the fact that she had controlled everyone wordlessly—and allowed the little girl to pull her out of Vasili’s embrace.
This excursion had clearly been a shock to him. She could feel his emotions radiate through him. Frustration, anger, disappointment... Despite what he believed, he was a good man, and she could only imagine what seeing this side of his kingdom was doing to him—which was why she’d remained so close.
For her, this visit was monumental. Helia was more at home here than she’d ever felt at the palace. This was where she’d grown up. Where she’d spent her free time. When Helia had turned eighteen and left, it had been to start a hopeful new life. But now, returning as Queen, it was to bring a hopeful future for them all. This place—these people—had given her a home when she had none. A place that was now giving others a home. Like the little girl now tugging her away, so she didn’t feel bad for leaving her husband.
‘Where are you taking me, Anastasia?’
‘Come and see what we made.’
The little girl she was well acquainted with from her volunteering led her over to a group of children sitting on the floor, playing with building blocks.
‘We built a palace.’
Anastasia tugged at Helia to join them on the floor, and she kneeled on the threadbare carpet. Andreas—barely hiding his displeasure—and several others looked as if they wanted to intervene.
‘Stop,’ Vasili commanded them.
She locked eyes with her husband, thinking the admonishment was for her, but there was something shifting in his gaze she couldn’t decipher. There was a thread between them, and it went taut as he approached her. She watched him sit on a nearby couch, her heart full to bursting, as he examined the plastic brick construction.
‘It’s where you live,’ one of Anastasia’s little friends piped up.
‘I think this is far more impressive than where I live,’ she replied making the child’s face light up.
‘If this is Queen Helia’s palace,’ Vasili said, picking up a few stray bricks, ‘then it needs a very big library.’
His eyes flashed to hers and her heart skipped a beat. She could feel heat creep up her neck. A heavy ache in her core that she had to hide. But he saw it. She knew by the small smirk on his face which he disguised with a broad smile for the others in their presence.
The feeling didn’t go away in the time she and Vasili spent with the children. It meant more than she could say when he spoke to the older kids, who had tried to stay away, and within these walls where hope so often burned and died, Helia found herself hoping. Wishing she could have more with Vasili. With her husband who clearly cared for these people. Her people. And a deep sense of affection for him overcame her, flaring bright, but was quickly doused with an acute loneliness as she remembered all they were and all they could never be.
‘We will be in touch. In the meantime, if you require anything contact our staff and it will be yours,’ Vasili said, shaking Maria’s hand.
‘I promise things will get better.’ Helia hugged the woman that she had known for most of her life and left with Vasili holding her close.
He remained silent on the drive back to the palace. Physically, he kept close to her. And a jolt of electricity passed through her at their every touch. But it seemed he was withdrawing into his thoughts, and she didn’t like that. He had taken the title despite wanting to abdicate—a choice made for his people. Helia hadn’t known how much of Thalonia’s suffering he’d been aware of before, but seeing the look on his face when they’d toured the orphanage had answered that. He was her ally in this quest, so she needed to know what he was thinking.
‘Are you okay?’
‘You’re asking me if I’m okay?’
She could see something flicker in his eyes before he sighed.
‘No, Helia, I’m not. I didn’t know it was this bad.’ He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and finger. ‘I should have. I was always aware of how much my family favoured those with power. Wealth. But I never stopped to consider what that would mean for others.’
‘Maybe that’s true—but, Vasili, we are doing something about it now. Those people back there were happy to see you for a reason.’
He huffed a humourless laugh. ‘Don’t try to placate me, Helia.’
‘I’m not. I’m just telling you what I saw.’
She couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t acknowledge how much his words and actions meant to the people at the orphanage, but there wasn’t much more time to dwell on it before they had arrived back at the palace.
They made their way to Vasili’s office for the debrief that would follow. She’d expected both Andreas and Carissa to appear. However, it was only Andreas who did, wearing a deep scowl.
‘I’m sure you have an opinion about today, Andreas, but let’s recognise that it was a success,’ Vasili said.
‘I won’t deny that Carissa will have what she needs to introduce you both to the world, sir,’ Andreas said stiffly.
He was not happy, but Helia couldn’t possibly imagine what could have set him off. She had remembered everything she needed to. Plus, Vasili had pledged his assistance, and it was the start of what she wanted to achieve.
Andreas turned to her. ‘But you, Your Majesty, did not act in a way befitting of a queen.’
Helia could feel her buoyant mood dissipating. The high was gone and instead she was plunging back to earth. She thought she had done well. How could she have read the situation so wrong?
‘I did everything expected of me,’ Helia defended, recognising that she shouldn’t have to, but also that Andreas knew so much more than she did. He had so much power over the staff and the politicians.
She’d fought to keep the steel in her voice, and felt Vasili move to stand at her back. She so badly wanted to lean on him now, but that would show weakness. Something she was not. She had given up her career, sacrificed everything for this mission. She would lean on no one.
‘Meeting in a storeroom. Making promises that we don’t know if we can keep. Sitting on the floor.’
Andreas’s cheeks flared pink. Oh, he was angry.
‘Never in all my years has any royal done that. We are meant to show strength. That we bow to no one. And yet you behaved like one of those ordinary volunteers. You acted without thought.’
He was right. She had acted without thought. She’d seen those children and seen herself in them. She hadn’t felt like a queen when she’d played with them—she’d been just Helia. A woman who cared so much that she would say goodbye to the one thing she loved for them. Queens didn’t do that. Queens found solutions that didn’t affect them personally. But how could she do that when that very place was her past?
‘You are not one of them any longer. You are Queen Helia Leos and you need to start behaving as such.’
‘Enough.’
The gruff voice had come from beside her. There was a warm hand on her back, grounding her. Andreas fell silent.
‘That’s quite enough, Andreas. Leave us—and for your own sake, I suggest you do so quietly.’
Helia watched him march angrily through the door and once he was gone she turned to Vasili.
‘You behaved like those ordinary volunteers.’
What if she had embarrassed Vasili? She relied on him to help her with this cause. What was more, things had been going well. She was growing to care for him more and more with each day. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him in any way. She had to apologise.
‘Vasili, I’m so—’
He cradled her face, seizing her lips, cutting off her apology with a hard kiss that had her letting out an unexpected moan. His tongue plunged into her mouth, setting off an avalanche of arousal through her body. She gasped as Vasili hooked his hands under her thighs and lifted her, setting her on the edge of his desk, making her just a little taller. Flame licked at the base of her spine as he stepped between her legs, deepening the kiss. He tasted of mint. The scent of his aftershave—cool and fresh, with something spicier that she could only describe as his scent—wrapped around her, chasing the apology from her mind. But she had to make it.
She pushed at his chest and he stopped immediately, his lips reluctantly leaving hers.
‘Vasili, I have to say this—’
‘No, you don’t.’ His voice was low. Rough. ‘Don’t you dare apologise.’
‘But Andreas—’
‘I don’t care what Andreas said. All I saw today was a woman who cares.’ He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. ‘And I’ve wanted to kiss you all day.’
‘Then do it.’
Vasili leaned in. Taking her lip between his teeth. Watching the way her eyes fluttered closed. He brushed his lips against hers, licking the seam of them, taking his time. Stoking the fire between them.
Seeing Helia interact with everyone at the orphanage had done something to his heart. He didn’t care what his advisors said. The woman before him was the Queen this kingdom needed. He had wanted to kiss her then, a million times over, but he hadn’t been able to. Their passion was behind closed doors. That was the agreement. But the need in him had built and built. Now, the noises she made as he tasted her had him growing hard. But he couldn’t stop kissing her. He trailed kisses and bites down her neck, marking her. Everyone would see it. He would see it. It was a primitive thing to want to mark one’s territory, but he couldn’t care less. Especially when she called his name in that breathy way that satisfied something deep within.
Vasili recognised that he needed to step away from her for a moment or he would have his queen laid out on his desk.
He picked her up and carried her over to the couch, where he settled her on his lap, tucking her head against his shoulder. While he knew he needed to clear his head of the lusty haze, he didn’t want to let her go. Not yet. He still had questions, and while they had privacy he was going to ask them.
‘I need to thank you, Helia.’
‘For what?’
‘Showing me how we’ve failed.’
‘Vasili...’
He looked down into her bright turquoise eyes. Her hand came up to his cheek and he laid his over hers. At first he thought he was going to remove it, but that wasn’t possible. He craved her touch too much.
‘You haven’t failed at anything,’ she said. ‘Not yet, at least. You didn’t run this kingdom before.’
‘I could have done something sooner. I rebelled selfishly. Don’t excuse my actions.’
He was angry at himself. So angry for not having bothered to look further than his own suffering.
‘I’m not. But you saw something that was wrong today, and instead of making excuses you listened to them. You offered them help.’
But he needed to do more. And he still needed to know why it meant so much to Helia.
‘As did you.’
‘It’s different for me,’ she admitted.
‘Why? Why is the orphanage so important to you? Why choose that for our first outing today? Andreas was right in that you could have picked something easier—not better, but certainly easier. I need to understand. Is this why you agreed to marry me?’
Helia pulled her hand from his face and glanced away, making Vasili worry that he had pushed too soon. But he needed to know. He felt Helia’s chest expand as she took a deep breath, and without looking at him she started speaking in a low voice that failed to hide her pain.
‘I grew up there.’
Which explained why she’d been received so warmly. She was one of them.
‘I was barely a teenager when my father died, and with my mother having passed away long before, my Uncle Giannis became my guardian. They were close, Giannis and my father. They were business partners. My father was the creative one. He was warm and kind and people loved his flower arrangements. Giannis was the opposite. Coldly logical. He was great at business and finance, so their partnership worked well. My father had made him executor of his estate.’
Vasili had a bad feeling he knew where this was going.
‘My father had left the business to Giannis. It employed enough florists that it would still make money without him, but he’d also left a monetary inheritance for me. A substantial amount. It would have taken care of me. Helped me study. Get a start in life.’
The light flowing through the large windows sparkled on a tear as it fell, kissing her cheek before disappearing. Vasili brushed the wetness away and wrapped his arms around her.
‘I went to stay with Giannis. He had always been nice to me when my father was alive, but he changed. He became cruel. He would tell me that I was a burden. That he hadn’t wanted a family and what made me enough reason to change that about his life? I tried so hard to be good. To make sure he didn’t notice me more than he needed to. I would do chores, and try to cook, but nothing I did was good enough. I missed my father and my uncle was awful. Maybe he had always been that way and everything else was an act. I don’t know. Anyway, he dealt with the lawyers and the banks and everything else. I was at the will-reading, so I knew I was getting an inheritance. What I didn’t know was that Giannis had opened a bank account for me and he had full signing rights on it because I was a minor. My inheritance was paid into it, and once the estate was settled he moved every penny into his own account. He said it was what he was owed and then he packed me a suitcase—just one—and dropped me off at the orphanage.’
Vasili tightened his arms around her, trying very hard to rein in his temper. He wanted to find Giannis Demetriou and make him pay for his sins. For making Helia question her worth.
‘Maria was the director back then too. She tried to get me to make friends with the others, but I couldn’t. I withdrew from everyone.’
Vasili didn’t blame her. She had been abandoned—why would she want to trust anyone? He could understand that.
It dawned on him that she was trusting him enough to tell him her story. Vasili had never been protective of anything, but now, as he listened to Helia’s story, the need to protect flared blindingly bright in him. He wanted to shield her. Keep her safe from everyone and everything. Nothing would touch her again. He vowed it in that moment.
‘I had to change schools. A forgotten little school with a terribly small library. But it was something. The librarian there let me help out, and slowly things got better. I knew then that a librarian was what I wanted to be—but you saw what it’s like at the orphanage. It’s only the fortunate ones who go on to achieve their dreams. I swore that one day I would find a way to help them...which is why I volunteer there when I can. But have always wanted to do more.’
Vasili hadn’t thought he could get any angrier, but here he was, trying to hide his trembling from Helia. The crown hadn’t done enough. Not for people like Helia. Not for those having to live away from the bright lights of Seidon. His family had failed for generations.
He kissed her temple, cradling her to his body. He could have told her that he was sorry she’d had to go through that—because he was. He could have told her he wanted vengeance in her name—because he did. But he didn’t say any of that because he couldn’t change the past.
Instead, he said, ‘Helia, I am King of Thalonia and you are my queen and together we will fix this. We will fix what’s broken in this kingdom so that no one else will have to endure what you did. No one will be forgotten while we rule.’
‘Vasili...’ she breathed, in a way that stopped his heart.
With eyes full of tears she kissed him. Tugging on his hair as she pulled him closer. He lifted her and placed her over him to straddle his lap, letting her control this frantic kiss until he wanted more.
He threaded his fingers in her hair, angling his head so he could kiss her more deeply, and then he pulled away for just a breath. ‘I escaped into books too.’
Helia laughed against his lips. The single most joyous sound after her tears had cut through him. His lips were back on hers instantly. Something molten was stirring within him. Scorching him with every pass of their lips. And then his hands trailed down her body, digging into her soft flesh as the overwhelming need to be buried inside her gripped him in an iron hold. He dragged Helia’s hips forward. Her core brushed against his hardness, making him moan. Low. Deep. He flexed against her, driving them both mad.
Crazed. That was how he felt. All he could think of was more.
‘Helia...’ he groaned, biting her chin, her throat.
He slipped his hands under her dress and knew she would be slick for him. How easy it would be to shed these clothes, these flimsy fabric barriers, and push into her.
Her sighs and mewls had every link on the chains he had around himself breaking apart. He wanted her. Now.
His fingers tightened around the band of her panties. He could tear them right off her. Feel her warmth against his skin. Feel her clench around him.
No!a voice at the back of his mind shouted.
What was he doing? He couldn’t have sex with her. Especially not now, when they were both raw. He couldn’t let them seek comfort in each other like that. Not to mention he had no protection.
Vasili tore his lips away from Helia’s and pressed his forehead against hers. Their breaths were ragged. He had been so close to forsaking his mission. The thought of what might have happened if he’d entered her bare was sobering. He couldn’t risk having a child. The throne wasn’t meant to endure. But he had found Helia so tempting he had forgotten what he was working towards.
‘I’m sorry...’ he panted.
‘For what?’
Her pupils were blown wide. Skin flushed. How wonderful it would be to see her writhing under him.
‘This isn’t what you need right now. Not after what you told me.’
It was an excuse, and he knew it, but he couldn’t tell her that he didn’t want to have sex with her, because that would be a lie, and he couldn’t tell her that they shouldn’t, because he could barely remember why. But he could tell her he would take care of her—because he would.
‘I’m not going to have sex with you, but I am going to take care of you. Allow me that?’
Helia studied his face. Searching, he presumed, for an answer he couldn’t give her. And maybe she understood, because she nodded and shifted off him.
He stood and adjusted the evidence of his arousal, then took her hand, leading her out of the office. Their union wasn’t meant to include sex, but he couldn’t ignore their physical reaction to each other. And now he thought maybe there was more to it than that. Because every thought he had in this moment centred around his wife.
Vasili told himself that he had to do better...to remember why he held himself back. He couldn’t lose control again.