CHAPTER TWELVE
VASILIHADN’TSLEPT a wink. All he’d been able to think about was what Helia had been through. He had known loneliness, but even though his family had never been there for him, he’d still had a brother who had cared to a degree. He hadn’t been entirely abandoned—not like Helia. To trust someone, to think they had your best interests in mind, and then to be so betrayed at such a young age would have broken anyone. Especially at such a vulnerable time.
Vasili still didn’t know how to react to the trust she had shown in telling him. He’d never had anyone wanting to be that close to him. Now the first person to do so was the one person he was trying to keep at arm’s length, and it was proving harder and harder every day.
Having her confide in him had made him feel fulfilled in a way that was alien, even if it also angered him that she’d had to deal with so much strife.
At least now he understood why she’d married him. Why this mission of hers was so important. Seeing the people at the orphanage had affected him, but to know that Helia had been one of them both crushed him and ignited a determination to help her. Which was why he had finally given up on sleep and worked on the solution that he would propose to her. He would include her in every step.
As soon as the rest of the palace had awakened, he had sent for her.
For now he sat with Andreas, a folder open before him. He studied his advisor and personal secretary, who seemed hell-bent on pushing for a bill that went against everything Vasili was hoping to achieve. He kept one eye on the door. Helia would be arriving shortly. He could already picture her expression when she learnt about this.
‘This does nothing to better Thalonia,’ Vasili said, tossing a page back into the folder.
‘Of course it does, Your Majesty. This would benefit everyone.’
‘Everyone whom you deem important,’ Vasili corrected. ‘This is trickle-down economics.’
‘Nothing is more effective.’
‘Don’t try to sell that to me, Andreas. We both know it doesn’t work that way.’
‘It’s my advice to you to sign off on this bill.’
Vasili stared Andreas down. There was absolutely no way that he would. Bills like this were the reason why places like the orphanage existed in the state they did. Why the poor of Thalonia suffered in silence. His father would have signed off on it, but Vasili was determined on being a different kind of king.
Through the tension, a knock sounded on the door and in walked Helia. She was frowning as she looked between him and Andreas.
‘What’s going on here?’
It wasn’t a tentative question; it was a demand to know.
Vasili could see how she was blossoming into her role even if she still doubted herself at times.
‘It’s nothing for you to be concerned about, Your Majesty,’ Andreas said.
Vasili knew that tone. But disregarding Helia would never be something he accepted. His father had ruled absolutely. His mother, though she’d been Queen, had only ever been allowed power over things he’d deemed acceptable for her. Vasili had hated it then and he hated it now. Perhaps it was the rebellion in him which he probably would never be rid of. The need to do things his way.
Helia was his partner. They had agreed to show a united front to the world. That included his advisors, so as far as Vasili was concerned, and she would always have a voice.
Holding Andreas’s stare, he slid the folder over to Helia, who had come to stand beside him. ‘This is a proposed tax bill that I will not be passing.’
Helia read through the pages in the folder, grateful for her background as a librarian. All the knowledge she had absorbed over the years helped her understand the document in her hand now. One that made her heart sink. This was proof of the barriers she needed to overcome to ensure the people who needed help the most received it.
The one shining light was Vasili. He was already opposed. A fact that made her breathe a sigh of relief. The problem was Andreas was obviously pushing for it.
‘I’m no expert, but to me this would only benefit those already wealthy. There is no benefit for the poor. They’re likely to be forgotten. Seems like you’re pushing for something only the upper echelons want,’ she said evenly as she set the folder down.
‘That is exactly it,’ Vasili agreed.
Vasili had told her to wield her power. Had said to her numerous times that she was Queen. Reminded her when he kissed and touched her. And after their talk the day before it was finally starting to settle—because the only person whose opinion she should value was her husband’s.
When they had returned from the orphanage Andreas’s words had had her doubting herself. She could see that he didn’t care for everyone. But she did. And Vasili did. So she would no longer allow him to make her feel as if her title was an ill fit.
‘Vasili is right. We can’t pass this. As Queen, I am opposed.’
Just as she had expected, Andreas did not take well to her statement.
‘This is irregular. It is the King who has a say in the policy of our country. That was how King Athanasios did things, and that was how King Leander did as well.’
‘It would appear that once again you need reminding, Andreas, that I am not my father, nor my brother. I will accept the counsel of my queen because she is the only one amongst us who is intimately aware of how our policies affect and fail the ordinary citizens of Thalonia. Helia has as much of a say in the wellbeing of our people as I do, and we are both opposed. If you want this bill passed in Parliament, I suggest it be reworked.’
While Vasili did not raise his voice, Helia was taken by the power in it. He might be a reluctant king, but to her he was already a good one.
She turned to Vasili as soon as Andreas had left and said, ‘Thank you.’
‘We agreed to fix things together, did we not?’
They had, and he was already following through on that promise. He treated her with consideration, valued her opinions, and it was making it so much harder for her to keep her feelings under lock and key. She was forbidden from falling in love. He didn’t want them to fall in love. But he made it so hard. She already trusted him. He had asked for her trust in small ways, but had earned it in the biggest, which was why she had felt comfortable telling him of her past. Helia hadn’t told anyone the whole truth, but she’d told Vasili, and it hadn’t scared her to say it.
It was clear that she was well on her way to breaking her promise and losing her heart to him, but he would never do the same. How could he treat her so well, help her and listen to her, and then refuse to love her?
‘We did.’
‘But that isn’t why I asked you here.’ He stood and offered her his chair, pushing it in when she sat, then lifting the lid of his laptop. ‘This is what I want to discuss with you.’
Helia skimmed through the document, her breath catching. ‘When did you do this?’
‘I couldn’t sleep,’ Vasili admitted, perching on the corner of the table, looking down at her. ‘What do you think?’
‘You want to make orphanages a palace concern.’
‘Yes. That way we can secure funding that I get to dictate without having to go through the politicians. That’s not all. I plan on creating an educational fund that the orphans will have access to for further study.’
‘How would we make that work?’
‘Possibly some sort of bursary fund.’
That would be perfect. She knew first-hand that not everyone shared in academic dreams, it would be a standout achievement for them to say that the palace had taken notice of them. It would give them the leg up in the world that they desperately needed.
‘And for the orphanages?’
‘Those funds would be dealt with separately, and with your help I think I can come up with a framework to allocate resources fairly.’
With her help.
Not only was Vasili helping Helia achieve her mission far sooner than she had dared to hope, but he also wasn’t taking it away from her. He wanted her to be a part of it. And that meant more than he would ever know.
‘This is going to be a big project, Helia. Of course you would be part of it. After all, this is your mission.’
Helia felt a burning in her eyes, but she wouldn’t allow herself to cry. It didn’t matter that she was happy. She needed to keep her emotions at bay long enough to make it through the rest of the discussion. But she knew he was coming to understand her. Read her like no one else ever could.
‘What’s this about schools?’ With all the emotion clogging up her throat, her voice came out strangled.
‘That is my decree increasing the national spend on education.’
‘Thank you, Vasili.’
‘No, don’t thank me. This change is long overdue. You and I...we’re changing this kingdom, Helia. I will not be toeing any lines to keep people who have watched Thalonia suffer comfortable. We need new traditions.’
Helia didn’t have words for how much this meant to her. Once she had taken him to the orphanage—only once. And this was what he had done. She couldn’t contain herself any more...couldn’t deny what she felt for him. Vasili was kind and considerate and caring, and she knew without a shadow of doubt right then that she was hopelessly in love with him.
Helia couldn’t find the moment when it had happened, and realised she had fallen for him in little bits from the first time she’d met him. That was why she trusted him. Why she’d told him about her past. It was because she loved him.
Without thinking, she flung herself at Vasili and kissed him. He didn’t hesitate, not even for second, and he kissed her back.
Hands on her waist, he held her firm as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Lightning crackled through her veins as his tongue delved into her mouth, stroking her. Making her come alive. Then he spun them around, placing her on the large desk, and moved to stand between her legs. She cursed the tailored trousers she wore, because she wanted to feel the warm hand that was travelling up the outside of her thigh.
She wanted him to lay her down on the desk and feast on her. She wanted to show him with her body what he meant to her because she couldn’t say the words.
Helia wrapped her legs around him, sinking her hands under his jacket. Scratching down his sides over his perfectly starched white shirt. She felt the muscles beneath her fingers tense.
‘Helia...’
He moaned out her name and angled his head, kissing her deeper. Wilder. And she wanted this. She wanted him to break free with her. He was only barely managing to restrain himself. She felt it in the tremor of his arms and the scrape of his teeth. It awakened such a wild desire, which was only further fuelled by the torrent of love within her.
‘Vasili...’ she breathed into his ear.
He cursed, pulling her hips to the edge of the table, grinding his hardness against her core.
Her whimper sent shockwaves of lust racing through him.
He couldn’t stop this time.
Vasili realised that when it came to Helia, he wasn’t the one in control. And he was tired. So tired of wanting and not having. So tired of the rebellion that had given him choice but taken just as much away.
Choosing Helia had been a rebellion, but denying himself his need to take her to bed was a rebellion too. A rebellion against his need for her. He hadn’t forgotten why he didn’t want to have sex with her, but he was losing his grasp on his willpower and the want coursing through him strangled him.
For once he wanted to ignore everything else and take what would make him happy.
‘Let go with me,’ she told him.
He wanted to. He was barely hanging on by a thread. The hold on his barriers was beyond tenuous now. All he wanted was to be deep inside her.
‘Is this what you want?’
He gritted out the question, hoping she would say no. He needed her to, because she was the only thing that could stop them now. And yet he was praying she would say yes, because he wanted her so badly he couldn’t think straight.
‘Yes.’
It was the key that unlocked every shackle on him. He had nothing left in him to resist her any more. He only prayed that this would not be his ruination.
She tugged him even closer to her, but he shook his head. He wouldn’t allow their first time like this to be a rushed, torrid affair on his office desk.
He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then took her hand and led her from the office.
Vasili walked right past their shared bedroom. He didn’t want her there. He was taking her to what was his room. His quiet sanctum.
He shut the door, not giving her a chance to look at their surroundings before his lips were on hers again, and without breaking their kiss he picked Helia up. Her legs wrapped around him without him having to tell her.
Vasili didn’t want to think of what this would mean for them. He didn’t want to think of why it seemed that they danced perfectly in sync with each other. All he wanted was to lose himself in her.
He pressed her back against the closed door. His breath hissed from his lips as he pushed his hardness against her. Her gasp was music to him. The sweetest sound.
‘Please, Vasili, I need you.’
He needed her too, with an urgency that defied all thought or logic. But there was no room for thought. Not now.
With sure steps he crossed the room and laid her gently upon the bed. Seeing her lying on his dark sheets, staring back at him with hooded eyes, he felt a savage sort of possessiveness overcome him.
This woman—his queen, a goddess—was his.
But she had been so timid when they had first become intimate... He needed to know just how inexperienced she was.
‘Have you done this before, Helia?’ He kneeled over her, supporting himself on a muscular arm beside her head.
Her skin burned red. ‘Yes, but—’
‘But?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ She looked away.
Holding her chin in his fingers, he forced her to meet his gaze. ‘It does to me. Honesty. Remember?’
‘I had sex with someone I had dated, but it wasn’t enjoyable. It was always uncomfortable. And after him I avoided it even if I wanted it. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t allow myself to trust.’
Anger burned alongside Vasili’s lust. He couldn’t do anything to change her past experience, but he would make sure she knew only pleasure now.
‘I won’t hurt you.’
‘I know.’
He ran his hand along the side of her body. ‘Let me show you how a king worships you.’
‘A king doesn’t worship a queen.’
She ran her fingers through his hair. He caught her wrist and kissed her palm. ‘A king worships a goddess.’
And that was what he wanted to do. For weeks she had haunted his thoughts and dreams.
‘I have wanted you for so long, Helia. I’ve dreamt of this moment. Of what you will feel like when I sink into you.’
‘What did you do in your dreams?’
‘I peeled every maddening layer of cloth from your body. Slowly. Until you wanted to tear them off yourself.’
With his teeth, Vasili pulled down the zipper on her trousers, never taking his eyes off her. He kissed the lace peeking between the parted fabric and peeled it off her legs. Her breath was coming in heavy pants.
He kissed his way up her body, running his lips over her neck, making her shiver as he undid the buttons on her blouse. She clutched at the sheets. At her hair.
‘Just like this,’ he whispered in her ear, only to draw away and remove the rest of her clothing with the same teasing slowness until her pupils had swallowed up most of the turquoise in her eyes. ‘And then I kissed you.’
He brushed his lips over hers, then took her mouth hungrily. Teasing Helia like this had unleashed a firestorm of want within him, but he didn’t care about his need for release because he craved seeing Helia come apart for him. The sight was addictive.
He broke the kiss, pulling away, and he chuckled when Helia tried to follow. He kept her down on the bed, saying, ‘But not here.’
‘Where?’
He grinned as he settled between her legs, seeing her slickness on her golden skin, and lowered his mouth to her mound. His tongue slid through her folds as he kissed her deeply. He became lost in her taste and her scent and the symphony of her moans as he made her soar further, higher, until she reached her release with a keening cry, sobbing his name.
He kissed every inch of her body, sucking her nipples into his mouth, marking her perfect skin with his teeth, drawing out her pleasure until she calmed, and then he kept going until she was panting once more.
Vasili shucked off his clothes and reached into a drawer, retrieving a foil square. He saw Helia’s eyes follow him.
‘Vasili, I’m on birth control.’
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ he said, brushing his fingers through her caramel curls.
He truthfully was glad, but accidents did happen, and even though he wanted nothing more than to feel Helia around him, he was determined that they would never have heirs. He couldn’t. So he ripped open the packet and rolled the protection along his length.
And then he had Helia’s hips in his hands, spreading her thighs apart so he could see himself sinking into her. A hurricane of pleasure consumed him. Stealing his breath. Grabbing his heart in a fist.
She felt like heaven. Like everything he had known she would and so much more.
He cursed on a breath. ‘Helia...’
This was so much more overwhelming than Vasili had anticipated. It felt too good—and not just in the way the pleasure rolled over him in unending waves. It felt too much like home. As if being with Helia like this was fated.
Vasili had crossed a boundary he knew he shouldn’t have. Because he would never want to stop doing this with her. It was exactly as he had feared.