Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FINN
I’ve texted with Gunner on and off over the last few days, trying to keep things generic on my end so he doesn’t put together our conversations with the ones between Curtis and Finn. The good part is that getting to know them both has made it easier to separate the two as well.
That might not make sense because he’s both of them, but Gunner is surprisingly easy to talk to.
I feel like I know him because I’ve been watching him for so long.
Curtis is new and shiny, and he gives me all those happy, squirmy feelings.
The sexual tension has my mouth on a fast track to embarrassment.
Which is a good thing. The more embarrassed I am, the less chance there is of giving in and begging him to get naked with me.
The number of times I’ve considered moving back to Chicago is ridiculous at this point.
With Gunner, the flirting is more casual.
There’s no sexual tension there because first, I can fulfill that sexual urge whenever I need to, and second, this is work for him.
Talking to me and keeping me interested and at arm’s length is all part of his job—he as good as said that.
Which means that when it comes to our texts, I can have fun with them without the expectation of them going anywhere.
I take a photo of my empty nightstand drawer and send it through to him.
I’ve seen your collection of sex toys so I thought I’d share mine.
I only have to wait half an hour for a reply.
Gunner
Are they invisible?
I choke back a laugh. I actually had a handful of items in Chicago, but I got rid of them all when my parents, Melanie, and David decided they’d help me pack and move. I did not want one of them to accidentally be dildo slapped by a rogue box.
Not that I can tell Gunner any of that.
KingdomHearts
Of course. Tony, Stanley, and Roger put that fist toy to shame.
Gunner
Seriously though—you’ve been subscribed to me for a year and you don’t have a single one? What do you use when you get off to me?
See? Those words coming from Curtis would have me flushed and horny, but coming from Gunner, it’s more like … professional curiosity. Even though they’re the same person, there’s no connecting the dots going on upstairs.
KingdomHearts
My hand does a very thorough job.
Gunner
So does mine, but there’s nothing like being split open by a cock. You a top?
KingdomHearts
Vers. Or, more accurately, will take sex any way I can get it.
Gunner
And yet you don’t have one little dildo? You’re playing with me.
KingdomHearts
I feel like I need to rectify this or you’re going to be forever disappointed in me.
Gunner
I’m not going to tell anyone what they should do with their sex lives, but unless you have a boyfriend or are getting regular dick on the side, I’m not disappointed, but definitely feeling pity for you.
KingdomHearts
No boyfriend. Plus messaging you would blur trust lines there and when I have my guy, I’ll be loyal to the end.
Gunner
Monogamous, are you? So when you suddenly stop subscribing I should assume you’re happily in love?
KingdomHearts
Normally I’d say that I wouldn’t stop subscribing, because porn is porn. But I think with you, I’d have to.
I hesitate even saying that. I don’t want him to think I have feelings for Gunner because that’s not what this is, but him being Curtis adds another layer to these interactions.
Even outside of that, it wouldn’t be okay.
I’ve crossed lines and messaged him, am getting to know him in a superficial way, but even before that, I’d built up a connection with Gunner in my head.
No boyfriend should have to compete with a fantasy man.
Gunner
If you’re about to give me a love declaration, I’m going to have to stop you there.
KingdomHearts
Haha, no. Don’t worry. I’m trying to make sense of it in my own head, but I think because your videos are more …
personal, I guess? They do make me feel some kind of emotion.
I told you already about the whole not feeling alone thing, and since I am monogamous I think that’s too much of an emotional connection to expect a partner to have to deal with.
If I got off to you and that was that, it wouldn’t be an issue.
Gunner
That makes sense. To be very clear because you seem like a cool guy and I don’t want this to get mixed up: I’m not going to fall for you. I’m not that guy. I’m not in the market for emotion, and relationships are the last thing on my radar.
It’s weird how being told he’ll never fall for me comes through loud and clear in Curtis’s voice. I can’t not respect Gunner for having these boundaries though.
KingdomHearts
Got it. If I’m honest, there’s a guy I’m actually kinda interested in from my real life. It can’t happen so these messages are a nice distraction.
Gunner
Ah, so you are using me?
KingdomHearts
No, I actually really like our messages!
Gunner
Strangely, so do I.
I stare at the dildo, equal parts impressed I’m about to do this and wondering who body snatched me and replaced me with a guy who sends dick pics.
KingdomHearts
Dick pic incoming
KingdomHearts
Not a real one!
KingdomHearts
Proud?
I attach a photo of the cock stuck to my shower wall. It’s a smaller version of the monster one he fucked himself with when he said my name—I’m back on that wagon and have decided it was, in fact, my name—and, in my estimates, it’s around the same size as Gunner.
Gunner
Hey, you bought one!
KingdomHearts
Express delivery was a bitch to pay for but so worth it.
Gunner
No job yet?
KingdomHearts
Nope, but I have a promising interview coming up.
Gunner
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. Now, back to the cock—good choice. I think I have the same one.
KingdomHearts
Given my extensive research, I can say with complete confidence that you do. Only yours is pro-level, this is … well. I estimated but I think I got the size right. Based on aforementioned research.
Gunner
What do you mean?
KingdomHearts
I was aiming for your size.
After typing that, I close my eyes, hoping it wasn’t pushing our honest sex discussions too far. Is it one thing to know I can get off over his videos, but too much to know I’ll be picturing him here with me?
Gunner
Ahhh … you’re going to picture me fucking you, huh?
KingdomHearts
Why does it feel so weird when you say it like that?
Gunner
No judgment from me. It’s no secret I get you off. Which video are you going to use for it?
My pulse has kicked up as I admit to him what I’m planning.
KingdomHearts
I’m going to listen to the one where you’re fucking and spanking Mitchell while my memory does the rest.
Mitchell is the silicone ass he uses on “special occasions,” whatever those are.
Gunner
Ahh, that’s a good one. Got a bit of a degradation kink?
KingdomHearts
No, actually, just felt right.
As in, it’s the video that reminds me the least of Curtis, and when I do this, I need to be thinking of Gunner and not him.
Gunner
Need some extra inspiration?
I stare at the words for a second, trying to figure out if I’m reading them right.
KingdomHearts
I think we can safely assume at this point that when it comes to you, I will take anything you give me.
Was that the right answer? I hold my breath, waiting on a reply. It takes a few minutes, but those minutes are well worth it when a photo finally comes through.
Gunner’s holding his dick, a bead of precum glistening at the tip, hovering over the top of Mitchell’s hole.
My brain short-circuits, and my dick, which has been mildly interested in the conversation, thickens enticingly fast. I shove my shorts and briefs down to wrap my hand around myself and have to type one-handed.
KingdomHearts
Do I need to pay you for that?
Gunner
Consider this one an annual bonus.
I stroke myself, eyes still pinned to the photo of him hard.
KingdomHearts
Did you take that right now?
Gunner
Just for you.
KingdomHearts
Holy fuck. So you’re hard too.
Gunner
Sort of in my job description.
Of course it is. Getting hard is probably a nonevent for him, whereas I’m already panting from one little dick pic. In my defense, it’s a gorgeous dick. Pink shaft, red tip, and his fingers just meet around the girth. The thought of sliding that cock over my tongue has my mouth watering.
KingdomHearts
If you ever need the extra inspiration, I’m always happy to return the favor. Just so you know.
Gunner
I think you owe me a good hundred videos or so at this point for us to be considered even.
KingdomHearts
We can always start with number one.
Gunner
Okay. Do it.
Heat washes over me at that. It’s not like I’ve never sent a sexy video before, but it’s been an insanely long time, and this is Gunner.
Wait. No. It’s Curtis.
I’ve just offered to send Curtis a video of myself. What if he recognizes something?
Shit, I think I’m too turned on to care at this point. I set my phone up, zoomed in on the dildo, so all that should be in the frame is my ass and cock. It’s not like I have sexy abs like he does, and the less that’s on video, the less he’ll have to recognize me by.
I can always watch it back after and make sure it’s clear before I send it to him.
Okay.
I pull lube out of the cupboard and cover my cock with it before moving to my ass. It’s been too long since I’ve been fucked, and even back home, I didn’t have a lot of time to get prepped for my dildos with how much I was working. I need this. And knowing Gunner will see it has me so much hornier.
I work myself open, getting my hole loose enough to take the toy, excitement and eagerness helping me to relax and get to this quickly. I try not to let my impatience get the better of me because the last thing I want is for Gunner to think I’m some inexperienced virgin.
I’m sure he has more than enough materials to get him going, but damn, I want to turn him on.
When I’m ready, I hit Play, step into my shower, but don’t turn the water on in case it steams up the room. Then I hold the dildo steady and very slowly push back onto it.
The stretch is so much sharper than I remember, and the familiar soft burn has my skin prickling pleasantly. Oh, wow, did I miss this.
I take my time with being filled, and only once the toy is balls-deep in my ass do I let out a long exhale. I’m determined to stay silent during the video, but I’m already picturing him behind me, his hands on my hips, that cocky tone by my ear as he praises, took that so good, baby.
I shiver from my scalp to my toes and pull up before slamming down again.
This is going to be embarrassingly short, but I’m very happy to blame him for that.
My brain is a swamp of images of his dick, his moans, the sounds of that deep voice, and those rippling abs.
They mix with the image of his smile, his steady gaze locked on me, the way his corded arms flexed as he reached for my radio station, and every single time his body has ever brushed mine.
The fact that I can mix memories of his scent with the sounds of him when he comes has me fucking myself harder. I have both hands pressed to the shower wall as I ride him with nothing else in my mind but him.
My cock is begging to be touched, and I want to give in so badly, but I know that all it will take is a few strokes for me to be done. I want to at least last an average amount of time to make it worth it for him.
But damn, my hole feels full, and every time that rounded tip presses deep, it brushes those nerves in my ass that turn my legs into Jell-O.
A tremble ripples through my legs as instinct takes over.
With my eyes screwed shut, it’s way too easy to picture Cur—Gunner in the shower here with me.
The water on, stream running over those perfect abs, the slapping of our bodies coming together, his firm grip on my hips as his deep rasp begs, “Just like that, baby. Keep going. You’re making me feel so good. ”
I want it so much.
I’ve never craved someone so deeply, and maybe this was a mistake because playing pretend, creating an image so vivid it feels real, won’t help in the long run.
Everything about him turns me on, and never getting to have this, never being able to touch or taste or hear him in my ear and send shivers down my spine, is torturous.
How long has it been?
I’d thought I was okay with jerking off to porn, but the faster I move, the deeper the toy hits, the more I realize how much I miss this.
I want to be fucked, but more than that, I want to feel skin against mine.
I want to exist with another person. To turn them on and get lost in each other’s bodies.
I just want him.
Once.
Images flash through my mind: tattoos, a wide smile, the glimpse of stubble before it scrapes over my throat. Claiming hands and a hungry mouth.
My hand flies over my cock. I’m jerking off so hard and fast as I fuck myself on the toy like my life depends on it. I’m so close that I don’t care if it’s been a second or ten minutes; I need to come, and I need to do it now.
Pleasure races from my spine through my limbs as my balls tighten, and I get one last flash of Gunner. His swollen cock and the way it twitches as he comes.
Then it’s over. A shiver tears through me as I finally unleash, relief clouding my brain as I move against the toy until I’ve unloaded every last drop of my orgasm.
I’m panting as I come down from that, feeling sated and wonderful and so damn relaxed. I ease myself off the toy, and the tender ache is worth it. It’s been so long, and I didn’t know how much I needed that.
Gunner did though.
That man is a sex whisperer.
I lean against my vanity and end the video, giving myself a few moments to swim in the happy bliss my brain is bobbing around in.
Then I open our messages, and rereading them back has me second-guessing myself.
KingdomHearts
Sorry for the offer. I know you said once the dick pics start you ignore the people messaging you. I was horny and don’t know what I was thinking.
Gunner
I think there’s a difference between having a dick shoved in my face and being asked first. I said yes. Nothing for you to feel bad about.
KingdomHearts
Oh thank fuck. I worried I’d offended you or something.
Gunner
No offense taken. I’m a sucker for consent.
Gunner
So you’re saying you didn’t record yourself?
KingdomHearts
Actually, I, uh, did. Trust me when I say that it has none of your production quality and will probably be the sloppiest, least sexy thing you’ve ever seen.
Gunner
I’ll be the judge of that. After all, I’m the professional here.
I stare at the words and have to close my eyes and open them again to make sure I’m reading it right. He actually wants it. Porn. Of me.
Who the hell am I?
I hold my breath and hit Send.