Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
FINN
I’m unprepared for the rehearsal dinner to be the most painful night of my life.
I’d had high hopes that Curtis and I could be civil and pretend like nothing ever happened between us, but then he sits as far from me as possible, and we spend the night caught in a game of who can not look at who for the longest.
Our awkwardness reaches the length of the table, so I’d be shocked if no one else felt it flowing from us.
It’s lucky that smiling through awkwardness is something that I’ve had practice with my whole life, and so instead of shriveling into a ball under the table, I keep everyone around me entertained while my heart does the shriveling instead.
Considering our entire relationship was built on not making things weird for David and Melanie, why the fuck did I think a week out from the wedding was prime time to drop the L-bomb?
The unhinged urge to cackle and then break down into a sobbing, snotty mess is close to the surface the entire time, and if I didn’t love my little sister so much, I’d probably give in.
But I smother that urge instead.
I eat and chat and do not drink.
When dinner wraps up, it’s so, so tempting not to go ahead with my plan of a quick speech.
I’m not part of the wedding party tomorrow, but I’d thought it would be nice to send them off on their separate ways with something.
The whole speech I had prepared feels empty as I run it through my head now, but this is the type of moment I’ll regret if I let it pass by.
I clear my throat and stand, tapping gently on my water glass to get everyone’s attention.
All the faces that turn to me are familiar, but that doesn’t stop my stomach from trying to forcefully eat itself. Especially when, out of the corner of my eyes, I notice Curtis is the only one not looking.
“Smelly Melly,” I start, using the nickname I used to tease her with as a kid.
“We have been through a whole lifetime together. Lots of birthdays, lots of fights, lots of teasing, but thankfully, more recently, lots of support and good times. And now, I get to watch you marry someone who knows you’re just as amazing as your family does.
David, thank you for being the biggest simp for my sister.
It’s so cool seeing two people who support each other through everything, who are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, taking this next step.
I can speak for everyone here when I say that we’re so proud of you two, and I hope I’m lucky enough to find a love like yours one day.
” I lift my water glass with a cheers that’s echoed down the table, and it’s only after I sit back down that I realize I messed up the end.
I hope everyone is lucky enough to find a love like yours. That’s what I was supposed to say.
But damn if what I said wasn’t the most truth I’ve ever spoken.
The morning of the wedding is absolute mayhem. I’m terrified as Mom, Sophia, and Mel take over the house in a cloud of hair spray, a fountain of champagne, and the type of pop music I thought I left behind about fifteen years ago.
Mel’s phone does not stop ringing, and it gets to the point where I confiscate it and redirect all her calls to my number instead. Everything from guests confirming the venue, to the florist arriving, to the photographer being stuck in traffic.
I’m overwhelmed, and it’s not even my day.
Hair and makeup people fuss over them, and just before lunchtime, Dolcie shows up with food. I could kiss her.
I sit in a corner, downing cheeseburgers like my life depends on it, while the others finish getting ready, and then I escape to the quiet of my place. I’m going to miss it when I leave.
While I was in Chicago, I did a lot of thinking.
One thing Curtis gave me was some clarity on what I want out of life.
The reason I don’t like emergency triage—beyond the long hours—is because it’s so impersonal.
Helping people is top of my list of wants, but not far below that is having a sense of purpose.
I want to build connections, and even in someone’s worst moments, I want to be the person to support them through it.
I’d loved the brief stint I worked in the assisted-living facility during my degree, and with everything Curtis and David are going through with Beth, it’s reminded me of that sense of purpose.
I’d considered talking to Ellie at the nursing home we’re looking at for Beth to see if she has any positions available, but … I don’t know if I can stay here.
Going back to Chicago doesn’t hold any interest for me, but if I stay in Edmonton, I’ll have to see Curtis.
Regularly. I can’t make David and Melanie navigate our failed whatever it was like children whose parents are going through a divorce.
So the best thing I can do is put some distance between us.
Move just far enough that popping down for lunch with them is possible, especially when nieces and nephews come along, but not close enough that I’m expected to attend every game night and friend group activity.
There are only so many times I can use work as an excuse.
It’s bittersweet pulling on my suit, knowing that this really is the last time it’ll be only me and Mel. Technically, it hasn’t been like that in a long time, and I know that realistically, nothing is changing, but it’s a feeling beyond the physical.
She’s going off to live her life with her husband and their friends … and I’m going to have to leave and do the same.
I’ll tell her soon.
But not today.
I get back up to the house as the photographer arrives with a thousand apologies and a lot of technical-looking equipment. From there, I think I blank out for an hour or so.
There’s lots of posing and pride, and then the car arrives to take us to the venue where the ceremony is before more photos and the reception.
It’s going so fast I’ve got whiplash, but Melanie is surprisingly calm. She squeezes my hand as we pull up, and the smile on her face is huge.
“There’s still an hour until the ceremony,” I point out.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to do the late thing. I’m walking on time. Come on, there’s a bridal room waiting for us.”
We pile out of the car and head inside. It’s fancy as hell. Not surprising, given the wedding Melanie really wanted, but considering the time crunch, they sure pulled off a miracle.
Sophia disappears as we head inside.
Mom and Dolcie head straight for the champagne bucket when we reach the bridal room, while Melanie excuses herself for the bathroom, which was back by the entrance as we came into the building.
I’m not sure how the hell she’s supposed to do what she needs to do in that dress, but before I can work out the logistics of holding up all that material, she’s back.
“Finn,” she hisses through the partially open door.
I glance over at Mom, who throws a concerned look our way. “Everything okay?”
“All is good. Just need Finn for a second.”
Curiously, I get up and join her in the hall. “What’s wrong?” I ask as soon as the door is closed behind us.
“I … I …” She looks like she’s about to hyperventilate.
“Shit, Mel.” I grab her shoulders to steady her. “Breathe. What happened? You were literally fine a minute ago.”
“How am I supposed to breathe when David’s having an affair?”
Wait, what? My stomach drops out through my ass. “What do you mean?”
“All week, he and Sophia keep disappearing on me. I thought it was nothing at first, but now she’s gone again, and I didn’t really need to go to the bathroom. I followed her, and I’m sure she’s … she’s meeting him. Here. At my wedding!”
Sophia? There’s … there’s no way. Not to mention, I’ve never seen a man more in love than David.
“None of this makes any sense,” I say, scrambling to put the pieces together. I don’t want to imply the stress is getting to her … but I think the stress might be getting to her.
I know that cheaters are usually the ones you least expect, but David? And after doing all of this for Beth?
“Please, Finn. I need to know if I’m right. I need to know if—”
“Okay, let’s take a minute. Nothing is confirmed. This is all very out of the blue. Why don’t we try to find Sophia and—”
“I saw where she went, but I can’t go in there. I can’t see them together.”
Ohh … She wants me to go in there for her?
I don’t want to see them together either.
I’ll have to punch David. I don’t know how to punch someone.
And what if a fight breaks out? As sweet and kind as he is, he’ll destroy me.
Especially if Curtis is on his side. He has more than enough reasons to want to punch me without me having issues with David too.
I don’t think I should have been an older brother.
“You want me to go and look?” I clarify.
She nods, close to tears. We can’t have that. She’ll ruin her makeup, and she’s going to need it because I’m absolutely sure that there’s nothing to worry about; I just have to prove that to her. She’s getting married to the love of her life, and we’re making it happen now.
I have to step up and prove her fears are nothing.
“Okay,” I say, sending every goddamn hope I have out into the universe that this isn’t what it seems. “Show me where.”
Melanie leads me down a hall and into another one, then points at a door. “I don’t want anyone to see me in my dress,” she says.
If she doesn’t want anyone to see her yet, there’s still a chance I can salvage this.
With a confidence that I definitely don’t feel, I head down the hall.
Get close to the door.
Try not to fucking lose it over how what I’m about to see might change everything.
My long breath is supposed to help ground me, but when does that ever work?
I need to do this.
For Mel.
Before I can lose my nerve, I grab the handle, throw the door open, and storm inside.