Chapter 15 Charlotte
FIFTEEN
CHARLOTTE
“Something tells me we’re going to be here awhile,” Jude mutters as we walk into the store. He sets Ava’s car seat into a shopping cart as I grab a second one. We’re definitely going to need the extra space.
“Babies need a lot,” I tell him, setting my notebook onto the handle of the cart so I can go over my list. I spent the entire car ride creating it, wanting to make sure I didn’t miss anything that Jude would need.
I started researching baby things as he fed Ava.
It was obvious he was nervous to give her the bottle at first, but he did great.
His confidence started to build as he changed her diaper and got her dressed for our shopping adventure.
Figuring out how to install her car seat into the back of his luxury SUV was a different story. I don’t think I’d ever heard Jude let out so many curse words. He even watched videos about how to install the specific brand of car seat she has, but it was still a struggle.
“Where should we begin?” he asks, flipping up the visor of the infant seat to check on a sleeping Ava. He made me sit in the back seat with her on the way to the store, too nervous about how quiet she was while sleeping and wanting someone to have eyes on her.
It’s kind of adorable, but I keep that thought to myself.
It was only this morning that he found out he is a dad, and he’s already doing so well at it. It’s clear that Ava already has him wrapped around her little finger, and I feel some sort of pride at being the one to walk with Jude on this new adventure.
I look at my notes as we both begin to push our carts. He falls in line slightly behind me, letting me steer the way.
“I have things separated into needs and wants. First, I say we make it through the needs list. Some of these things we could also order online in the event that Ava wakes up and decides that maybe shopping isn’t for her.”
“What’s at the top of the needs list?” he asks.
A tiny line forms at the center of his forehead, and I can’t help but love the sight of it.
I’ve never seen a serious Jude. Normally, he wears a smirk at all times.
But jumping into the role of being a dad has brought out this new side of him that I can’t wait to see more of.
“First and foremost, we need to find a crib. Or at least a Pack ’n Play.”
He frowns, making the line across his forehead even more noticeable. “A pack and what?”
I laugh, realizing that if you aren’t around kids a lot, you’d probably think it’s a pretty weird name.
“A Pack ’n Play. It’s like a portable crib.
We’re probably going to have to start with that—or a bassinet—and wait for a crib to come in.
” I stop and turn my body to face him, a question popping into my head.
“Have you thought about which room the nursery will be? I should’ve asked you that at the house so that I’d know the size of the room and what furniture we’ll need to order. ”
Jude’s shoulders sag slightly. “Is it horrible of me to admit I hadn’t even thought about what room she’ll be in?”
I shake my head and softly place my hand on his arm.
He doesn’t shy away from my touch, so I keep it there, hoping it makes him believe in what I’m about to say.
“You’ve had a lot thrown at you today. It’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out yet.
Today, we’ll just get a portable crib of some sort and then focus on ordering nursery furniture another day when we know which room will be hers. ”
Jude nods, and I fight the urge to give him a hug. His stress is obvious by the way his fingers are almost white in clutching the handle of the shopping cart. “I really don’t know how I’d be doing any of this without you,” he admits, his eyes scanning my face.
I blush under the intensity of his gaze.
I look at my feet for a moment, hoping he doesn’t notice the pink that’s spreading across my cheeks.
“You’d have figured it out,” I respond before pushing the cart forward.
I can’t help but remember another time when he looked at me with an intensity like he just was.
It was last night, seconds before our lips touched for the first—and last—time.
Jude’s got so many things going on in his life now, it feels wrong to even think about kissing him.
What he needs right now is a friend. And friends don’t think about kissing their friends. No matter how charming they are or how much they make you melt with just the intensity of their gaze.
“I’m glad I don’t have to,” Jude says from behind me.
I turn around and look at him. “What?” I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot what we were even talking about.
“I’m glad I don’t have to figure it out without you.” He gives me a smile—an unforced one—and God, it does things to my heart it shouldn’t be doing.
I quickly turn back around and focus on my notebook. Jude needs me to be his friend right now, so that’s what I’m going to be.
“Let’s go find a Pack ’n Play.” I change the subject and walk the long pathway to the back of the store. I have no idea where the baby aisle is, but I’d rather spend my time looking for it than looking into Jude’s big brown eyes, which are suddenly making me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.
“Do we like the pink one or the purple one?” Jude asks, holding up two onesies on either side of his face.
We’ve been shopping for over an hour, and Ava is still sleeping peacefully as we make our way through the list of things to buy.
It’s only my first day with her, but Ava seems far more chill than my siblings’ babies.
So far, she’s easy and calm, which might be just what Jude needs as he gets used to being a father.
I smile, something about the sight of Jude holding the two frilly onesies pulling at my heartstrings. “I like both. Can’t go wrong with either one.”
He looks between the two and then nods. “You’re right. My girl needs both.” He tosses the clothes into the cart with a wide grin.
I look at the ground for a moment, trying to compose myself after the adorable way he called Ava his girl. Something about it dangerously made my heart squeeze in my chest.
“What size are they?” I ask. We just made it through getting essentials in other aisles, and now we’re tackling clothes.
Jude’s eyes go wide as he looks at the onesies, shifting from one foot to the other. “Well…” he begins, pulling at the tag. “This one says three months.”
I close the distance between us and grab the hangers from his hands.
I check the tags before giving him a smile.
“These are both three months, which means three months old is typically the limit for wear. Three months means zero to three months old, six months means three to six months old, and so forth. Before we left, I checked the clothes Ava was sent with, and they are all six months. That seems to fit her, so we should probably get some more in that size and some nine-month options as well.”
Jude stares at me for a moment, and I hate the vulnerable look in his eyes.
He seems disappointed that he didn’t know this information himself, and I hate that I’m the reason his face fell.
“I didn’t even think about the sizing,” he admits, pulling his gaze from mine in an attempt to hide the sadness in his eyes.
“It’s confusing. Plus, different brands fit differently. Those three-month ones you picked could fit her perfectly.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”
I bite back a smile. “Of course not. Baby clothes sizing is tricky.”
He stares at me for a moment before turning to a rack of infant sleepers. He fiddles through the hangers before throwing different variations of them in the cart—all six- and nine-month sizes.
Before we continue, he places a hand on my shoulder, his normal grin making an appearance on his face again. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you, Char. Thank you.”
And before I can respond, he turns his attention to Ava and checks on her once again before pushing the cart forward, completely unaware that he’s made my stomach do a weird flip-flop thing that I hope to never feel again when it comes to him.