Chapter 17 Charlotte
SEVENTEEN
CHARLOTTE
“Motherfucker,” Jude curses before running his hand through the longer strands of his hair at the top of his head.
“Maybe we should read the instructions?” I offer, trying to fight a smile. Ava is fast asleep in my arms, completely tuckered out from all the shopping, which is a good thing because her dad isn’t being quiet at all about his feelings toward putting together the Pack ’n Play.
Jude glares at me before attempting to shift one of the pieces. “I shouldn’t need directions. It’s basically four walls, and that’s it. It shouldn’t be this hard to put together a little baby cage.”
My lips twitch as a laugh threatens to escape, but I fight it off by burying my face behind Ava’s little head.
We got back from the store two hours ago, and once we sorted through everything and fed Ava again, we figured the first thing we should put together is the portable crib so Ava has somewhere to sleep that isn’t in our arms. Jude’s been trying to figure out how to set it up for almost an hour now, and no matter how many times I offer to look at the directions, he shoots my idea down every time.
“A little baby cage,” I mutter. I tilt my head to the side. “It really is basically a baby cage.”
The laugh finally escapes me. I try to keep it quiet so I don’t wake up Ava, but it does completely rattle out of me.
Jude’s eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I think he’s going to be upset, but instead, his face breaks out in a grin.
He tosses his head back and lets out a laugh.
It’s loud, and it’s the first time I’ve really heard him laugh today.
I love the sound of it.
Our laughter fills the room for a few moments before it dies down. Ava peacefully sleeps through it all. I don’t know if she’s always this good of a sleeper or if today is just a fluke, but she’s been a champ throughout the chaos of the day.
“It really doesn’t feel like I should need directions to put this together,” Jude finally says, putting his hands on his hips as he stares down at the pile of pieces. “It shouldn’t be this complicated.”
“It’s okay to accept that you need to read the directions to figure it out.”
Jude aims a glare in my direction, and I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him give a dirty look. I try not to smile all over again. “Char.” My name comes out of his mouth like a warning. “You’re really hurting my pride right now.”
“No, you’re hurting your pride by taking double—maybe even triple—the amount of time to put this together just because you refuse to open a tiny paper booklet and read it.”
Jude furrows his eyebrows as his lips press into a thin line.
I smile at his reaction. “And you know I’m right, and that’s why you have nothing to say to it.” I raise an eyebrow as I reach for the instructions manual. I hold it between us playfully, letting it hang in my grasp as I wait to see if he’ll take the bait or not.
Jude lets out a frustrated sigh before snatching the booklet from my hand. “Fine,” he grumbles before opening the booklet and holding it in front of his face. “But I’m only reading this so you can finally put Ava down and get home and be done with us for the day.”
I frown, hating the idea of leaving the two of them alone tonight.
I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I’m sure Jude wants alone time with his daughter, but I can’t shake how wrong it feels to leave them.
Here with Jude and Ava, I’ve been able to forget all about my problems. I haven’t thought once about how I still have no place to live.
I haven’t stressed about packing up all my things or wondered what I’m going to do next.
It’s been nice.
Luckily, Jude is so focused on finally reading the directions that he doesn’t even notice that I’ve gone quiet.
I’d been so swept up in helping him get everything he needed for Ava that I hadn’t even thought about leaving and going back to my place.
Of course he wants that with his daughter; it just seems even more lonely to go back to my rental tonight.
Especially with the added stress of knowing I need to find somewhere else to live for the summer.
“I did it!” Jude excitedly says, breaking me from my thoughts. I jump a little before blinking rapidly, my gaze focusing on a grinning Jude. I was spaced out long enough for him to fully assemble the Pack ’n Play.
I smile despite the sadness I feel at having to leave soon. “Proud of you. Now think of how much time you could’ve saved if you had just started with the instructions from the beginning.”
He attempts to give me a dirty look again, but the smile on his face is too wide to make it work.
“Are you going to remind me of this forever?” he teases before picking up the portable crib and setting it down in the corner of his room closest to his bed.
“Of course I am.” I point to the laundry basket on his bed. “Those sheets are clean. Once they’re on the mattress, I’ll carefully put her down and hope she stays asleep.”
Jude walks over to the bed and grabs the pink sheets with little butterflies all over them. “Is there a chance she won’t stay asleep?”
I laugh at his question, my gaze immediately going to a sleeping Ava to make sure the noise didn’t wake her up. “I think every baby is different, but most of my nieces and nephews would wake up the moment you tried to put them down. Babies love to contact sleep.”
He stares at me wide-eyed for a moment, as if he hadn’t even thought about what happens if Ava doesn’t sleep.
So far, she’s been a great sleeper, but she’s also always been asleep in our arms or in her car seat while moving.
I have no idea how she feels about sleeping completely independently, but we’re about to find out.
“Put the sheets on so we can find out.” I point to the bed as if that’ll make him move any faster.
He does as he’s told, quickly getting the sheets on the mattress—with only a few cuss words this time. Once her bed is ready, I stand up, careful not to jostle Ava too much.
Jude watches me closely as I close the distance to her bed. I don’t think either of us breathes as I bend over the edge and softly place her in it. The moment she’s fully down, I place my hand against her chest to try and not make the loss of being held so sudden for her.
We’re both silent as we stare at Ava, waiting to see if she wakes up or not. I suck in a breath when she turns her head and the Binky in her mouth looks like it might fall out. Luckily, Ava sucks it right back in.
I look at Jude, wondering if I should risk removing my hand and backing up or if I should stay another minute or two.
He cocks his head over his shoulder in the direction of the door.
I nod in understanding before slowly removing my hand from her chest. My heart hammers against my chest in anticipation.
I keep my eyes pinned on her as I slowly back away. As I make it to the door, Jude gradually turns up the volume of the sound machine until white noise fills the room.
We both stop in the doorway. Ava stays asleep the entire time. I give Jude a look of relief as he quietly pulls the door shut.
The moment it’s closed, he reaches into his pocket and brings out the baby monitor we set up earlier.
Neither of us talks as we stand in front of the shut door, both of us staring anxiously at the monitor screen as it turns on.
I don’t know whose sigh of relief is louder—mine or Jude’s—but we both let out a deep exhale when we find Ava still fast asleep.
Jude gives me a crooked smile, and it makes my entire body warm. “Should we each have a small celebratory glass of wine to celebrate putting her to bed for the first time?”
I should probably leave. I know I should. Especially with knowing how the last time we had wine ended. But something about the way he’s smiling at me right now has me wanting to stay, and I find myself answering him before I can talk myself out of it.
“Yes.”