Chapter 46 Charlotte
FORTY-SIX
CHARLOTTE
I wake up to Jude’s warm body pressed against mine. His arm is draped across my middle, and his large hand is splayed out across my stomach.
I don’t think I’ve ever slept so well.
When we were sleeping, at least.
He kept his promise by fucking me so hard and long that today my muscles are already sore from the night we shared.
But it was perfect.
Part of me was nervous that I’d wake up and he’d be gone, that he’d regret what we shared last night, but instead of finding my bed empty, he holds me against him like he never wants to let go.
I can’t help but smile. Last time I woke up in his arms, I wanted to do everything possible to make sure I got away from him before he woke up and realized the position we were in.
Now, I want to soak in having him like this. I have no idea what things are going to look like for us going forward, so I want to savor every second of the walls being down between us.
Before I can turn my head to see if he’s awake or not, he presses his lips to my bare shoulder.
“Good morning.” I try not to shiver at the raspiness of his voice. He sounds sexy in the morning.
I turn a little so I can meet his gaze, and my entire body feels warm at just the way our stares connect.
“Morning,” I whisper.
“How’d you sleep?” he asks, the hint of a smirk on his lips.
I blush at the memories of last night. The dirty words he said. The possessive way in which he fucked me. The soft caress of his lips against mine and the way he kissed me as if he planned on doing it forever.
“Good. How about you?”
His smile gets wider, and it’s just another moment that grabs hold of my heart. “Never better.”
My cheeks feel even hotter at his words. Why does he have to be so perfect? He makes it almost impossible not to fall for him.
He glances over to where the baby monitor rests. At some point, he must’ve gotten up to get the charger because I know it wasn’t in here last night.
“Ava’s still asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to check on her and make sure everything was okay, and she was passed out the entire time.”
This makes me smile as I turn my body so I fully face him. I love how his arms tighten around me and pull my body completely flush against his. We’re so close our noses almost touch.
“Maybe the sleep schedule is working,” I note. Since Ava was dropped off almost a month ago, she’s never slept through the entire night. This would be a first, and I can’t help but feel a rush of pride that maybe my idea for the sleep schedule is working.
Jude smiles before reaching out and cupping my cheek.
I can’t help but immediately nestle into his touch.
He moved in and out of me for a good chunk of last night, but something about this moment feels even more intimate.
“I definitely think it’s working. I think I’m going to have to wake her up so she stays on it for the rest of the day. ”
“Speaking of today, are you excited to go to Pembroke?”
Jude’s gaze rakes over my face as he pushes a piece of hair from my cheek.
I don’t even want to know what my hair looks like.
Between the two showers and getting fucked all night, I’m sure it’s a tangled mess.
Luckily, it’s my day off, and my only plans are to hang out with Ava, so it doesn’t matter what it looks like.
“I was thinking I could tell Tyson I’ll join him another day.
We were up so much of last night; I don’t want to leave you with Ava while I go have fun. ”
I shake my head before placing my palm against his chest and pushing myself up so I hover slightly over him. “No, not happening. You’re not getting out of this, Jude Kensington. You’re going to Pembroke today.”
His eyes go wide for a moment before a huge grin takes over his face. “I really love it when you’re bossy.”
My cheeks heat, but I don’t let the flirting deter me from making sure he doesn’t use us having sex all night to get out of going to the club.
“Then you’re really going to love it because I’m putting my foot down.
You’re going to see your friends today and tell them about Ava and stop hiding out here. ”
“But what if I like it here with just you and Ava? It’s like we’re a little family that never has to leave.”
My mouth snaps shut for a moment because the tenderness in his voice about does me in.
I can’t help but remember the way Lucy pointed out that we were playing house and how dangerous that might be.
Now, with him saying those words, I realize just how much I like playing house with him and just how much it doesn’t feel like playing at all.
It feels real. I want it to be real. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
“You can like it here all you want,” I manage to get out despite the thickness that has suddenly clogged my throat due to emotion. “But you’re still going to Pembroke today.”
Jude moves his hand to behind my neck. Instead of saying anything, he pulls my head down and brings our faces close to each other once again before pressing his lips to mine.
We kiss for a moment. This one is tender and sweet and makes butterflies take flight in my stomach. It seems to last forever, but not long enough either.
Eventually, I pull away just enough to get words out. “Are you kissing me to distract me from forcing you to finally get out of this house?”
He shows off his perfect dimples with a cocky smirk. “Is it working?”
I shake my head and playfully swat at his chest. “No. You’re going out, Jude. I promise I slept great and am looking forward to some alone time with Ava.”
His face softens as he reaches up to move hair from my forehead once again. “I just feel bad leaving you alone with her while I go out and have fun with the guys.”
I frown. “Why? I told you to do it.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I wish that I could get into his head to read his thoughts.
It feels like there’s something he’s keeping to himself as his gaze travels over me, and I’d give anything to know what it is.
“I don’t know,” he finally gets out. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you or anything. ”
My heart melts at his words. I put my hand over his, keeping his palm placed firmly against my cheek. “I don’t think that. I’m the one who made the plans for you.”
His fingertips twitch against my skin, and he’s quiet for longer than I like all over again. My heart hammers in my chest because no matter how perfect the morning has been so far, it’s obvious there’s something he wants to say and isn’t, and that makes me nervous.
I try to keep quiet for as long as possible in hopes that he’ll say whatever’s on his mind, but he doesn’t.
And as much as I wish I had the courage to just ask him what he’s thinking, I don’t know if I want to know.
I don’t want to ruin whatever bubble we’re in, the one where I got to have him all night and still wake up next to him in the morning.
I can’t take the silence any longer, so I plaster on a smile. “So it’s settled. You’re going to Pembroke. You’re going to have fun. And you’re going to tell whoever you’re comfortable with that you’re an amazing dad to an incredible daughter.”
He smiles, and the sight of it calms my nerves slightly. His eyelids crinkle at the corner, and his dimples make an appearance, and seeing that makes me believe that maybe I’m overthinking what’s going on in his head. “Is that so?”
I nod. “It is.”
“Fine. But for the record, I’m kind of sad at the thought of getting out of the house. I like spending my time with my girls.”
My girls.
This isn’t the first time he’s called me his girl, but something about now hits harder than it did before. I want to be his more than ever.
I don’t know if he can see the flush to my cheeks with the early morning sunlight filtering in through the window or not. Whether he can see it or not doesn’t matter. It’s there because I enjoy Jude calling me his girl far more than I want to admit to myself.
“We’ll be here when you get back,” I assure him.
“Good. I can’t wait.”
He leans in for another kiss, and I close my eyes and get lost in it, trying not to let my heart get too excited about being called his.
No matter how much I want that to be true, and despite the two of us finally giving in to the physical attraction between us last night, there’s still so much we need to work out.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, and there’s still a chance I can get hurt at the end of all of this.
I try to remind my heart of that as it hammers against my chest at the way he possessively kisses me.
I want to be Jude’s as much as I want him and Ava to be mine. With each passing moment with them, that becomes more and more obvious. I just don’t know what the future holds, and having so many unknowns is terrifying.
So for now, I push all thoughts of what’s to come from my mind and focus on the present. I get lost in kissing Jude, trying my best not to worry about the future.