14. Pontius
14
PONTIUS
I thought things would be different with Piper. She’s my mate, she was supposed to understand me. I planned to do everything right. I wanted to give her everything she could ever desire. Anything she asked for. Finally, I’d have someone to really connect with.
Instead, I upset her. Just like I upset every other human. Now I’m alone. Again.
I can’t even watch her like I did before. She asked me to stop, and even though I only want to keep her safe, I have to do as she asked. I already love her. Of course I do. She’s perfect. And she thinks I’m a freak.
If I can’t focus on her, then I’ll move my focus to the only other thing I know. Work.
I power up my computer and log into my work account, pull up code, and start debugging.
This is what I’m good at, being alone, just me and the computer screens.
I already had a little bit of experience with technology before the Decrypting. I was a teenager, living alone. Sneaking into empty school buildings or houses when families were away on vacation. I could socialize on a computer: chat rooms, forums, social media. All of it was accessible, even if you couldn't show your face in public. For years it was my only real form of social interaction. When the Decrypting happened I was so excited for the chance to properly enter human society. Only to discover so many of the things that I loved to watch humans do and wanted to try myself, weren’t very accessible to many cryptids. Particularly me.
Bars are crowded and noisy, regular movie theaters are cramped and uncomfortable, shopping centers, malls—all the places I wanted to walk freely—are too loud and bright for Mothman eyes.
Nearly everything I was interested in was difficult for me to enjoy. Except for technology. That was available 24/7. I could navigate it easily and in quiet, dark isolation. Computers, the internet, coding, video games—all of it was accessible and came to me easily.
So that’s what I threw myself into.
And I thrived.
In college, I started a crypto security business with my two best friends. Magnes Loch, and Sacha Kwatch, a Lake Monster and a Bigfoot, respectively. They run the business and financial aspects of Cryptech. I contributed most of the tech portion. Sure, my part is important, but I never would have had a chance without them. They probably could have turned any half-decent idea into a thriving business.
They take care of expenses and customers and let me stay in my cave and do what I am best at—writing code. I wouldn’t be anywhere without them. They are my best friends and have been looking out for me for the past decade of our friendship.
It’s only a few minutes before Magnes Loch’s name pops up in the video chat window my screen. It’s not uncommon for either of us to be working on a Sunday afternoon. I assume he wants to ask me some work related question as I press the accept call button and adjust a little so he can see me on the camera.
“So, where is she?” Ness asks the second his green scaly face appears in the video call window.
“Where is who?”
“You know, the new woman. The one you met a couple weeks ago.”
I swallow. I may have misled Ness about the situation. I didn’t want him to know I’d found my mate. Not when his brutally rejected him four years ago.
“Is that why you video called me?” I frown. “To try and get a peek at her?”
“You’ve been MIA all weekend, I figured you must be with her. Nothing else could pull you away from work for this long,” Loch says, his smooth green brows flexing in the middle. He’s completely hairless and covered in green scales, the way every Lake Monster is. “I’m just glad you aren’t with that Tiffany chick anymore.”
I roll my eyes. “I thought you said she was hot.”
“She was hot. She wasn’t nice.”
“She was nice enough.”
“Not nice enough for you,” Ness says. “I could help you meet dozens of hot women, nice ones, who would be happy to date a wealthy cryptid.”
“It doesn’t matter. They won’t be Piper.”
“Well then, where’s the babe? Is she there with you?”
“Don’t call her a ‘babe’.”
Ness huffs an annoyed breath. “The dame! The hottie. The woman who isn’t Tiffany! The one who has been monopolizing all your spare time!”
“Piper Hamilton,” I correct him. “She has a name. I don’t want to talk about her.”
“You’ve only wanted to talk about Piper Hamilton for the last three weeks.” He smirks.
I stare at my keyboard. It’s backlit and mechanical. It makes the most satisfying click noises when I press the keys and?—
“She’s your mate, isn’t she?” Ness cuts through the silence.
I don’t answer him.
“It’s alright, lad, you can talk about it,” he says in his soft Scottish brogue.
“She doesn’t want to talk to me anymore,” I blurt out.
“She rejected you?” His voice rises a terrifying octave. “Pontius?”
“No. Not rejected,” I admit, still not looking at the camera. “She just…left. She’s gone. She doesn’t want me. I fucked up.”
“Pontius,” Ness repeats, his tone clearly intended to calm.
“She’ll forget about me soon enough. She doesn’t even know my real name,” I tell him.
“Doesn’t know your real name?”
“She just wanted a weekend of anonymous fun.”
“Sounds hot.” He smirks.
“Shut it, Ness,” I grumble. “It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t want to see me again.”
“It does matter,” he says. “If she didn’t reject you, then you still have a shot. There’s still hope, you know?”
“I don’t know.”
“She’s the one with that little business, right?” He asks. “We could buy it. She’ll have to talk to you then.”
“Ness. No.”
“You have to do something, Pontius.”
“Or I could leave her alone, like she asked me to.”
“Do you want to end up like me?” Ness smirks, but there’s sadness behind his question.
Even Loch doesn’t want me to end up like Loch. He’s the only guy I know whose mate rejected him. He’s been fucking around ever since. With a new date on his arm every week, he’s clearly still heartbroken. What do you do when the one person you are supposed to be truly compatible with leaves you?
I don't know how to help him. He threw himself into his job when Caddy rejected him. Our company wouldn’t be anywhere near what it is today if it weren’t for his dedication for the last four years. His days are full of nothing but work and random sex.
I don’t want to end up like that.
Sacha, our other business partner, used to be similar, before he met his mate. Less of a balanced like and more work for him. And then he met Bailey, and now he’s engaged. He’s gone a bit soft, he doesn't spend long hours in the office anymore. He takes days off, and is in a much better mood than he used to be. With hobbies, and more friendships and a life outside the office.
They are like my two potential futures. A gentle male in love finding new meaning in life, or a broken-hearted idiot who throws himself into one quick and dirty relationship after another. Only one of those things is appealing to me. The future that has Piper in it. I can't stand the idea of going through the rest of my life all alone, without anyone to love, no family.
“I got an email,” I tell Ness.
“From Piper?” he asks, thrown by my change of subject.
“No, from the agency that reunites families.” It’s not the same as having a mate who loves me, but it’s almost as good. The idea that I might have other connections out there is exciting. Growing up alone was difficult for me. I never met my relatives. Never had family dinners or played video games together. “I’m going to go meet a Mothwoman who might be my sister, I’m not sure. She’s the right age, we grew up a state apart but I’ve never met her before. She’s living with her mate on the east coast of Canada.” I let my voice trail off.
“Seriously? Pontius, that's great!” Ness sounds genuinely happy for me.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up too high.” There have never been as many Mothmen as there are some of the cryptid species. Lake monsters and Bigfoots had spread all over the world; there was some version on every continent. And the Decrypting broadened opportunities for those species. Families could travel and reunite after years spent apart.
Mothmen weren’t quite as lucky. Our entry into society was hindered by lower species numbers, our love of solitude, and our incompatibility with humans. Plenty of Mothmen have decided to continue living off the grid, in the shadows and under bridges. It's made finding any form of family difficult through social media or any of the apps currently designed for this. Instead, I turned to a private investigation company to help me find any living family members. This is the most promising link we’ve found so far.
“How long will you be gone?” Ness asks.
“I don’t know. I'll have to fly myself up there. That will take a while." Mothman wings don't really fit on planes. "We chatted a bit in email, and then on the phone. She said I could stay a couple months if I wanted.”
“A couple months!” Ness exclaims. “And you’re staying the whole time?”
“Absolutely,” I say. “Maybe I should just move there? Where I’ll be close to family?” If I stay here, where Piper is, I know I won’t be able to stop myself from following her and trying to make her mine again. I was so close, I held her in my fingers so briefly. But I ruined it, and she ran from me. The way all humans do.
“I’m all for you meeting her. But moving? Don’t you think that’s a little extreme? What about your work? What about your mate? Don’t you want to try and reconnect with her?”
I shake my head. “No. Piper doesn’t want to see me.”
“Are you sure, lad? She spent the whole weekend with you, right? That sounds like there was a connection.” He sounds almost desperate.
“I’m not even sure she’s over her ex. I moved too fast, Ness. It’s my fault.”
“What did you do?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Have you apologized?” Loch drums his fingers across his desk so violently that I can hear them through his speaker. Then he waves a hand, dismissing any response I might have. “You should go to Canada. You deserve a break.”
“We both deserve a break, Loch.”
He ignores that. “Go and spend some time with your family. But don’t move yet! Maybe when you get back you’ll have a change of heart?”
“Maybe.” I mutter.
“Or I could speak to her for you?” Loch says.
“Don’t you dare,” I growl.
“Alright.” He laughs lightly. “Just go. We’ll survive without you Pontius, take your time, enjoy your holiday.”
“I’ll talk to you later." I’m already reaching for the ‘end call’ button. He’s my best and closest friend. The one person I’ve been able to talk to about these things, and I can’t even tell him the truth about how badly I really fucked up.
Leaving is my best option. I’ll visit Canada, for a couple months at least. Maybe things will be different when I get back. There’s just one thing I have to arrange before that.