Chapter 33 Rae
RAE
Iwoke up in the bed I now shared with the boy I once dreamed of marrying. Turning to the left, a bit of daylight broke through the shades, right as a piece of paper crumpled under my face. Tugging it free from the pillow, I blinked to adjust my eyes as I read the note.
Good morning, Beautiful—
I have a delivery to make a few towns over.
I usually stay there for the day and visit with my grandfather.
He doesn’t know who I am due to the dementia, but I still like to see him.
I know you have to tell me something, you’ve been amping up to it, so let’s talk after dinner tonight.
Your parents begged us to come over, and I have already turned your mom down at least three times, so we need to at least show up for a little bit, but afterward, I’m all yours.
-Love you
Davis
Smiling at the note, I snuggled deeper under the covers and decided I’d take my time in bed this morning.
But then it hit me again, making my stomach dip. Excitement tugged me into action, tossing the covers off, and walking into the bathroom to shower. I couldn’t wrap my brain around moving into this beautiful home with him. Getting to wake up and use the shower every day…I felt like a princess.
After dressing, I checked on the dogs, who were resting in the living room.
Right as I started petting them, my phone rang.
“Hey,” I replied cheerily to my best friend, heading to the Keurig, prepping coffee.
Nora sounded sleepy. “Hey. I wanted to check in about how things went after you told him.”
Ugh, that felt like a pin in my balloon, effectively popping it.
“Um, we didn’t talk about that last night. He actually asked me to move in.” My smile returned as I realized a silver key was on the counter, right where Davis had first ripped my leggings open. A keychain was attached with a silver star, and my name was etched into a small metal charm.
“He left me a house key!”
Nora made an annoyed sound on the other end, and I felt a little guilty for how loud I had just squealed.
“Rae…” Nora exhaled, sounding like she needed to reprimand me. “You haven’t told him yet, and he asked you to move in?”
Why did she make it sound so bad?
“I’m telling him tonight, and it’s not like I didn’t try…he just kept wanting me to wait until today to tell him.”
“Don’t hide behind that excuse. You should have told him weeks ago, and you know it.”
Hot irritation burned under my skin. I just wanted one day to enjoy this feeling…this beautiful, exhilarating feeling of being wanted and loved. I felt like my teenage self was coming back to ruin my happiness. I didn’t understand why she couldn’t just disappear once and for all.
My silence spurred her into letting out a sigh.
“I’m sorry, I just want you to have it all, and that includes being honest with the man you love. You can’t start this life on a lie, Rae.”
I knew she was right, but at the moment, I resented her for it.
“I’m telling him tonight.” I left it at that and disconnected the call. I needed a break, and selfishly, I wanted to enjoy this feeling a little longer before I had to risk it all on telling him the truth.
I hadn’t heard from Davis for most of the day. I had texted him a photo of the key and then told him I couldn’t believe I would be moving in, blabbering on about how happy I was about it. He finally texted back a few hours later with a heartfelt, “I can’t wait, baby.”
That settled my nerves, helping me smile through my meetings.
I realized after last night that I didn’t want the news about Nora’s parents to stop me from being effective.
These three businesses hadn’t been able to participate at the vendor fair, so I reached out and asked if we could meet.
It was last minute, so it wouldn’t be until later that afternoon that I sat down and began talking with them.
But as the day faded, my anxiety peaked.
I couldn’t stop thinking over what would happen when Davis heard the truth.
I had imagined his face when I explained it.
The best case scenario would be telling him similarly to how he told me his big secret about his past. I’d be in his lap, and he’d be stroking my skin until it all slipped free, then we’d fuck all evening.
Simple.
I’d be free to move in and start my life with him.
“Hello, thank you for coming!” I greeted the first business owner to bustle through the coffee shop doors.
Rachel, the barista, walked over to us to take our orders.
This was something I had suggested implementing, to add more ambiance as well as encourage more tips.
Relaxing into the notion that I was already seeing little improvements from my town fair, I decided this meeting would be a success, and regardless of Nora’s parents, I would save this town.
If it was the last thing I did, I’d leave my mark on Macon.
“Let’s get started, shall we?”
By the time the meetings were finished, I was starving and so excited to see Davis. We hadn’t told my parents that we would be moving in together yet, considering it just happened, but I was excited to see their faces when I took a few boxes with me tonight.
Davis’s truck was parked along the curb, already inside, and my mother had likely already made dinner. I couldn’t believe how late I ended up being, but one of the owners ran late and then begged me to make an exception and wait for her. I was a sucker, and blamed Nora’s parents for it entirely.
Right as I opened the door, I could smell dinner cooking.
“Mom, dinner smells good!” I called out, toeing off my shoes and hanging my purse and coat. “Sorry I’m late.”
No one was in the living room, but I heard voices coming from the back of the house—oddly enough, from my bedroom.
Curious, I made my way down the hall. I could hear my mom rambling about a memory, or something she’d done a few years prior.
Leaning my shoulder into the door frame, I smiled at the sight before me. Mom had photos spread out on my bed, while Davis looked down at the glossy images strewn about.
My mom was mid-story, retelling the time I had come home late in high school, and that’s when things started to click and panic bubbled up in my chest.
Surging forward, I gawked as the sick realization hit me in the face.
My mother had found my photos, or had her own, and my teenage years were on full display—painting my comforter in pathetic hues of acne, short curly hair, and braces.
My heart hammering into my throat, I tried to catch Davis’s gaze, but he was staring down at a picture that he’d pulled free from the protective plastic, pinching it between his thumb and finger.
It was of me, on my graduation day. I had worn the same outfit into the library that night he saw me.
“I can explain…” I whispered, my voice hitching as he refused to meet my eyes. It made my mother tip her head up, a smile already in place, but my eyes were on the man next to her.
I went to him, kneeling in front of him.
“You have to let me explain. That’s why I wanted to show you first.” I was mumbling so fast I wasn’t sure he was hearing me; tears clouded my vision and fire had engulfed my face.
My mother’s face seemed to transform as she looked between Davis and myself. “Rae, what are you talking about?”
“Why did you pull these out?” I snapped at her.
It wasn’t her fault, it was mine, but hurt and fear warred in my chest smashing and destroying all that was left of hope.
“Davis spilled the beans about moving in together, and well, you were late, and he wanted to get a head start on packing up a few of your things. We started with the boxes in the closet, when we found your old albums. You two are getting so serious now, I thought it would be okay.” Her face contorted into misery, like she’d truly done something wrong.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, closing the scrapbook.
“It’s not your fault, Millie,” Davis said evenly, standing from the bed. “Is it, Rae?”
The ice in his tone was like a knife to my chest.
“Please…please just let me explain.”
“Explain what?” my mom repeated.
Davis let out a small scoff as he shook his head back and forth, tossing the picture on the bed like it meant nothing to him. The irony that he’d touched me so intimately in this bed made this entire moment hurt so much worse.
“Explain that she’s been lying to me since the first day she met me. She’s been lying to you, and to Roger—to all of us.”
Shaking my head, and pursing my lips, I tried to make him see. “No, that’s not it. I—”
“Just stop, Rae…before you embarrass yourself any further.”
He was walking away, and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest.
I followed him out the door as he stormed to his truck.
My feet felt like lead as I trailed after him, as though I was following in the same exact footsteps that led me to heartbreak before. “Please wait, please! Just hear me out, there’s a reason I—”
He spun on me; in the waning light of day I could barely make out the tears welling in his eyes.
“Tell me that while I told you my deepest, darkest secret, you couldn’t bother to tell me yours? That you once followed me around, had—what? A freakish obsession with me?”
Hurt flayed me open, but I powered through.
“That’s why I couldn’t do it, because you hated me so much that you actually had Carl hand deliver a note so that I would find you fucking someone else. You knew I was in love with you! You know how much I wanted to be with you.”
Shaking his head, he stepped back. “That wasn’t me. I never once gave that fucker a note, and I sure as fuck wouldn’t have given it to him to meet you. You were nothing to me back then, Rae. You were a fucking kid; you actually think I liked you?”
“No…of course not, I just—”
“So you actually showed up and thought I’d fuck you in the library instead? Freshly graduated from high school, barely eighteen…that I’d choose you over women my own age?”
“Stop…” I pleaded.
This was too much, all my embarrassing fears were being tossed out on the lawn at my feet, and it was too much. I had thought he’d handle this with care. I thought because he loved me…
“So, was this your ultimate long game then, huh? Move back, get me to fall in love with you, pull the rug out from under me months later, once I ask you to move in? ‘Surprise, I’m the freak that used to stalk you!’”
“I didn’t stalk you! And no, of course not, I didn’t even—”
“Stop lying!” he roared.
“You know the pathetic thing about all of this? If you’d just been honest with me, if you’d just told me the truth, I wouldn’t have cared!” He roared angrily, veins protruding from his neck and forehead.
I flinched, never hearing him yell so loud, and my heart spasmed uncontrollably.
“You chose for me—you lied. You…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Maybe you really are as pathetic as you always seemed back then.” His scoff was the final nail in my proverbial emotional coffin.
He spun, and this time I didn’t try and follow.
I sunk to the ground, tears streamed down my face as I watched as the only man I had ever loved speeding away, taking my dignity and pride with him.