22. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Lila
T he album was finalized and the announcement was ready to go. It was all about new beginnings, but it felt wrong now that Lila was done with Barry. I’d convinced myself that Rose got that new beginning with him, but the feeling of guilt still nipped at my heart.
The only time I was Lila was when I was doing video calls to plan my next few months. Once the heat on my name died down, I would be due back in LA—something I dreaded.
“I don’t know how you’re doing it,” Malia said one day as we were wrapping up another meeting. “There’s not been one hint of you.”
“I know how to disappear,” I said, already itching to be out of the wig. “And I’m good at it.”
“No kidding. Keep it up. The mystery is good.”
“And people still love the single?”
“It’s charting and radios are playing it everywhere. Critics love it.”
I took an uneasy breath. “Okay. Good. I was worried people would be heartbroken that Blaze and I split.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “Focus on the music. That’s what matters and this is easily one of your best that I’ve seen.”
“I can’t thank you enough.”
“It’s never a problem,” Malia said. “I’ll let you get back to your break. Stay off social media and enjoy it.”
I turned off the camera, head resting against the wooden table I sat at. After a few breaths to collect myself, I slowly pulled off the wig and cap, shaking out my hair.
“You okay?” Juno asked.
“Yeah, I was just talking to Malia about the single. She says it’s doing good and that people aren’t that torn up about it.”
“Oh, good.” Juno’s voice shook on the last word.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she said. “Nothing that matters anyway. You’ve gotta be tired from all of these meetings. I made you tea.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “For everything, even when I’m Rose. I never thought I’d tell anyone but my parents, but I’m glad you know.”
She smiled and sat next to me. “Want to do something to get your mind off of it?”
“Anything.”
“I found a puzzle in one of the closets,” she said, pulling it out. “It’s kind of nerdy, but it could be fun.”
“That sounds so nice. I need to do something other than think about work.”
Or my mistakes.
She laid it out on the coffee table in the living room where we worked on it together in the quiet of anonymity, playing the day away.
Lila’s phone was in the depths of her purse, untouched, and for once, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. I instead kept Rose’s phone, which proved to be fruitful when Barry texted a few hours later.
Barry: Sorry I haven’t gotten the chance to reach out in a bit.
Rose: You’re busy, I understand.
Barry: I’m going to West Tennessee to meet my dad in person. Want to join?
Rose: I’d love nothing more.
Barry
I picked up Rose in a trendy neighborhood in Nashville. It was one of those older houses that was renovated for an Airbnb. I knew she was only traveling for work, but I was happy to see she was in a safe neighborhood at the very least.
As I pulled to the curb, I thought about walking up and knocking, but the door opened and she came tumbling out of it. I noticed her first, especially the way her red hair shimmered in the sunshine, but then I also saw a prominent figure that gave me pause.
It looked oddly familiar.
“Do you have someone traveling with you?” I asked as she got into the car.
“Oh, yeah. A coworker of mine. She’s nice.”
“What’s her name?”
“Jun—June. Just June.”
“Huh,” I said. “She reminds me of someone.”
My mind went back to Lila and Juno, her bodyguard.
“She doesn’t speak English,” Rose rushed to say. “This is her first time in America.”
“I hope she’s enjoying it,” I said slowly. “I was going to walk up and grab you. Maybe I could have said hello.”
“Oh, she’s antisocial. Even the two of us have to communicate through translators. A third person would be so much more work, even if you just say hello. Don’t worry about it.”
I nodded, trying to ignore the bothersome feeling that I was missing something important. It wasn’t like I was upset that Rose had someone staying with her, even if it had been a man. We weren’t anything to each other, so she could do what she wanted.
But it still nagged my mind, and I wasn’t sure why.
“This is a weird day,” I muttered as I pulled away from the curb.
“It’s not every day that you meet your real dad. You’re allowed to be a little off.”
“Thanks for coming, by the way.”
“It’s so weird seeing you in the day and not in the bar, but I like it. This is our first hang out somewhere else.”
“We saw each other in the grocery store.”
“Oh! That’s right. But this is an intentional hang out .” Her lips curved into a smile that once again reminded me of Lila’s.
“True. To new beginnings, then.”
Her smile grew as if I’d said something funny.
“To new beginnings,” she replied. “Let’s do this.”
The drive was easy. As the city gave way to rolling hills and blue skies, I found myself growing nervous about the man I was going to meet.
Wilfred was truly awful at texting. He used a mix of 2000s lingo and was the victim of autocorrect more times than I could count. In a way, it was funny to see a man who wasn’t so tied to his pride. And seeing him mess up made going to visit him easier.
“Are you okay?” Rose asked as I grew quiet.
“I am,” I replied. “Mostly.”
“You’re drumming one hell of a song on your steering wheel,” she pointed out.
I stilled my fingers. “Sorry. Nervous habit.”
“It’s fine. Do you want to talk about it?”
“There isn’t much to talk about. I’m meeting my real dad for the first time. My mom apparently lives next door and this could go great, or it could go like everything else has in the past with my family.”
“We don’t know yet,” she said. “But what I do know is that I’ll support you either way it goes. Hopefully, that counts for something.”
“It does, but this could get messy.”
“Life is messy.”
It was, even when I wanted it to be relaxed and easy. I’d wanted that with Lila, but it didn’t seem to come to fruition.
But Rose had seen most of it and she was still here. And as much as she reminded me of Lila, she was still different.
Easier to talk to, somehow.
“I hate for people to see me when dealing with my family. I built a life away from them for a reason.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes widen for a moment, but it was gone just as fast as it had arrived. “That sounds lonely.”
“I used to think being alone was good,” I said. “But now I’m not so sure.” I snuck a glance over at her, hoping I wouldn’t see the ghost of Lila.
But I still did.
We pulled in moments later. The driveway was gravel and muddy. A small house sat on a hill with plants surrounding it. In the distance, I could only see one other house, which was where Mom and my grandparents were living. I didn’t give it a second glance, knowing I didn’t need to think too long about the woman who’d caused all this.
This was so different from the hustle and bustle of Nashville. Mom always hated it because it seemed lowly, but in a way, it was also peaceful. While I loved my bar and being in the city, there was a certain charm to this too.
The screen door opened with a loud squeak. A man, tall with broad shoulders in a flannel, walked out. His hair was nearly white, but I could see its tips were blond like mine. He had a long beard, which had grayed as well, and his face was weathered.
But he looked exactly like me.
My heart pounded in my ears and I had no idea what to say.
“Y’all want some salsa?” Wilfred’s accent was deep and rough. I’d heard it on the phone, but it was far more pronounced when I was seeing the rest of him for the first time. He fit the image of a country man perfectly, and I could see why Mom didn’t want to be around him. Once Todd sunk his claws into her, what he hated was what she hated—including her humble upbringing. “I mean, it’s great to see you, Barry. I’m glad you came, but I’d like to skip the awkwardness and bond in my favorite way: food.”
“I would love that,” I said slowly.
“Who is this?” Wilfred asked, his eyes sliding over to Rose.
“I’m Rose, Barry’s moral support for the day.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Rose. Now y’all come in. I’ll pull up an extra seat.”