Chapter 9
Nine
DARCIE
Twisting in the mirror, I checked out my outfit one last time. It was a corset top with thigh highs. I was covered more than my previous bikini, but this felt more provocative. I pulled my hair up, getting it out of the way, and applied some lipstick. I kissed the air in the mirror, pursing my lips, trying to channel my alter ego.
“It’s now or never, Rose.”
I checked my computer, making sure it was ready to record. I’d need to get some better equipment, but for now, it was all I had. So far, I’d uploaded ten videos of myself doing random things around the house or talking about nonsense. They’d gotten decent hits, and I’d made a hundred dollars so far. It had taken me a week to get them done, and the rent was due, so I was sucking it up and doing a live video.
Candi had told me it was how you built your fan base, by interacting with people. I hoped it was true because I needed this to take off more if I was going to survive. The money I made was nice, but it wouldn’t keep me from being on the streets.
Positioning the laptop so I didn’t show my face, I got on the bed and tried to look sexy. Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and hit the live button. There was a delay, so I scooted back and made sure I was clear of the camera for the millionth time. I was lying on my stomach, my feet in the air behind me. With the angle, it was a great cleavage shot.
At first, I was just sitting, staring when no one joined, unsure if I should talk or just wait. After a few minutes, it began to show me people were viewing. Swallowing, I waved and tried not to fidget.
“Hi, y’all. I’m Rose.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks for tuning in. This is my first live, and I’ll be honest, I’m kind of nervous.”
Some messages popped up, and I looked down to read them.
“Hi, @livingfast and @ogbobbuilder. Thanks for joining me. Do you guys have any questions?”
They typed some more, and I found it easier with direct things to concentrate on.
“What’s my favorite color? Hmm, good question. I think I like rose gold.” I smiled, even though they couldn’t see it. Candi had mentioned people could hear it in your voice, and I wanted to come across as friendly. A few more questions began to filter through, and I found it easier to talk to the screen like we were having a conversation.
Instinctively, I found myself playing with my necklace, drawing their attention to my boobs more. When tips and likes were given, I realized that the more I gave them, then the more they’d give me. An idea popped into my head, and I wanted to see if it would work.
“So, guys, my time’s almost up tonight, but maybe you could help me since I’m still new. I’m going to put a poll up, and whichever option gets the most tips, then that’s what I’ll do. The options are should I play the guitar, make dinner, or paint my toenails? You have one minute.”
I typed it into the chat and sat back, watching as people started placing their votes. I smiled, adrenaline coursing through me. At the end of the timer, I was surprised that the winning option was to play the guitar.
“Okay, thank you, @trentbulldog, for that last generous tip that put guitar over the top.” I blew a kiss to the camera. “Well, that’s all tonight, but I’ll be back later and play the guitar for y’all. Ciao!”
I kissed the air, waving. It had been risky to show part of my face, but it had felt worth the risk when tips had come in more for it. Signing off, I looked down at the total, and my eyes bugged out.
“Holy shit. Candi is a freaking genius!”
Thirty minutes live, answering questions with twenty people watching, and I’d made over $500 in tips. I blinked, not sure it was real. Rolling over, I kicked my feet in the air, giggling as I screamed out, relief settling in my body.
I’d done it. I’d found a way to survive all on my own.
Strength and accomplishment raced through me, filling me with pride. A message pinged, and I rolled back over to check it. My inbox flashed, and I clicked on it.
@shycowboy sent you a message
I clicked on the message, squinting in case it was a dick pic. Candi had warned me about those. Instead, it was a message. Blowing out a breath, I leaned closer to read it.
Dear Rose,
I debated reaching out to you but thought I’d say hi. I think you’re beautiful and I hope we can get to know one another. You seem like a sweet girl, someone I wish I could meet in real life. Hope that doesn’t sound creepy.
Shy Cowboy
For some reason, it made me blush, and I tapped my finger, debating on responding. I remembered Candi’s two rules: Don’t fall in love and never meet them.
Surely it wouldn’t be a bad thing to just message, right?
If anyone asked, I’d blame it on hoping I could make a client out of him. In reality, I was lonely, and it was someone to talk to.
Dear Shy Cowboy,
You flatter me. I’m sure there’s a girl better than me around the corner. She’ll surprise you one day. Thank you for your message.
Rose
Wow, Darcie, that was lame. Sighing, I signed off, exhaustion filling me. This had been a good start, and I felt more confident this could work. Baby steps, but it was at least in a new direction, far away from the girl I’d been.
It had been a month since my first live, and things had progressed well. I did them a couple times a week now unless I was too tired from work. I’d also started having some one-on-one sessions with clients. Most importantly, I’d earned enough to move to a new place.
It wasn’t the biggest, but it had a great location, and everything had its own room. No more sharing space with my kitchen or bathroom. There was even a tiny laundry unit that I was excited about. No more trips to the laundromat, hauling my clothes. It was going to be the height of luxury for me.
Tonight was my last night doing a cam session in this place, and I felt a little tearful about it. Though, not enough to stay. Setting up my new camera, I adjusted the angle and laid back on the bed. It had a remote control with it so I could position it easier.
I’d kept talking with Shy Cowboy, and we’d been more flirty the past few times. He’d asked me last night if I’d be willing to do a private session with him. I wanted to say no, but I knew I needed to push myself. So I’d agreed.
Nerves were starting to get the better of me, though, but I reminded myself that it was Shy Cowboy. It wasn’t a real person I knew, but someone I’d gotten to know. It wasn’t a stranger, but it wasn’t someone I had to face afterward either.
Taking a breath, I hit play on the music. I knew I needed to get in the mood a little before our videos connected. I hoped the music would help drown out the thoughts. Soft tunes came on, helping to ease my anxiety.
Closing my eyes, I drifted my hand over my breast, feeling okay. I was worried the moment I had to do more, though, I’d freeze up. So I trailed my hands down over my body, getting more comfortable. Breathing heavily, I felt ready and looked over at the time. The screen showed he was already in the private room, so with a shaky hand, I hit the button.
“Rose?” he said, his voice filling my ears. It was soft, smooth, and deep.
“Hi, Shy Cowboy.”
“Hi.” He chuckled, the sound bringing goosebumps to my skin. “You can just call me Cowboy if that’s easier.”
“Sure, I can do that. How are you?” I wasn’t sure how this worked, but it felt odd to just jump into the sexual stuff.
“I’m good.” I watched as he came more into the camera, keeping his face hidden. I’d been expecting a scrawny guy, or maybe an older man, figuring that was who was on these sites. I hadn’t been expecting a younger guy with a body like his.
“Shit, you’re hot,” I blurted, immediately slapping my mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
He laughed, the sound doing funny things to my insides. “Shit. If you could see my face right now, it’s so red.” His country accent was thick, and I liked the way it sounded. When we stopped laughing, he cleared his throat. “So, I have a confession.”
“Yes?” I asked, placing my head on my hand. I was lying in bed in a red bra and panties. It was simple, but I thought it looked good on me.
“I’ve never really done this before. I mean, I’ve done stuff with girls, but I mean here, online. However, if I’m being honest, my experience is limited with girls. My name is pretty accurate. I’m shy in real life, and I usually talk myself into twisted nonsense with girls as pretty as you.”
“Well, believe it or not, I’m not that experienced either.” I bit my lip, hoping he wouldn’t hold that against me.
“Really? I’d never be able to tell. You always seem so confident.”
“It’s just me stepping into that persona. Or, I guess I am confident in general, or I was at one time.” My voice trailed off, going quiet. “Anyway, so we both are new to this. You’re my first private session.”
“Wow, really? I’m kind of honored.”
“Good.” I smiled. “So, what do you want to do? Do we just like talk, or, you know?” I asked, laughing a little.
“It’s kind of freeing to know you don’t have expectations. Would it be okay if we just talked for a little bit?”
“Absolutely.” I wanted to say he was paying for it, so we could do whatever, but I didn’t want to cheapen it. “So, what made you try Cam Girls?”
“It seemed like an anonymous way to become more confident.”
“That makes sense. So, what do you do?”
“Well, would you believe it if I told you I was a cowboy?” He laughed, and his southern drawl became my favorite sound.
“The name makes more sense then.” We talked for ten more minutes, things becoming more relaxed. “So, Cowboy, if this was a real date, what would you do right now?” I asked.
He cleared his throat, taking a breath. “Assuming this is the version of myself that doesn’t screw things up, then I’d kiss you.”
“Oh? That’s a good place to start. How would your lips feel on me?”
“Hm, hard, but soft. I’d want to taste you, but wouldn’t feel like I had enough time.”
I sucked in a breath, his description entrancing me. “That sounds nice. What would you do next after this kiss?”
“I’d want to touch you all over.”
“Like this?” I asked, skating my hands over my breasts, trailing it down my stomach.
He swallowed. “Yeah. You’re so beautiful, Rose.”
“Thank you, Cowboy. You know, you’re not so bad at this. Where would you want me to touch you?”
“Oh, um, I don’t know. I usually focus on the girl because I’m so afraid she’s going to run away.”
I laughed a little. “Oh, Cowboy. This is a fantasy, so let's both get some. Show me where you’d want me to touch you and how.”
“Okay.” He gulped and moved his hands down his stomach. I watched as he rubbed his hand over his boxers. It was hard to see since he was sitting mainly in the dark, but I could make out his shape.
“How far do you want this to go?” I asked, slipping a strap down.
“Um,” he paused, focused on my fingers. “What are you comfortable with, Rose?”
It was the first time a man had ever asked me that I realized. I stopped, thinking about it. I looked on the timer and saw he had twenty minutes left.
“What if we show whatever we both feel comfortable with since it’s our first time?”
“Yeah, I’m good with that,” he said, shaking his head. I still couldn’t see more than his chin, but every now and then, I’d catch his movement.
I sucked in a breath, dropped my other strap, and pulled my bra off. Slowly, I moved it to the side and brought my hand back to my breasts. I was too nervous to look at the screen, though. If I just focused on myself, then it didn’t feel so scary. To be honest, it didn’t feel as terrifying with Cowboy.
Pinching my nipples, I finally decided to brave it and looked up. His hand was inside his boxers, stroking himself. I thought I’d be indifferent to someone else pleasing themselves, figuring I’d have to go to a place in my mind to get off. But as I watched him fist his cock, stroking it as he looked at me, it did something for me.
Slipping my hand down, I dipped my fingers into my panties, touching my clit. I moaned at the touch, forgetting where I was. I watched him as he pulled himself free, and I sucked in a breath at his length. My fingers dipped into my core, my juices coating me as I found myself climbing toward a release I didn’t think was possible.
“Oh, shit,” I said. “That’s hot.”
“Hearing you say that makes me want to blow. You’re one to talk, Rose. I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Watching you is the best experience of my life.”
“You’re a sweet talker, Cowboy. I’m close. Cum with me.”
I sped up, plunging deep as I rode my own fingers. I was surprised at myself for being able to do this, but it felt safe. I was in control here, and I did trust Cowboy to some degree. He let me lead the session, choosing to do what I was comfortable with, and didn’t make me feel like I owed him anything. Even if he was paying me. It did wonders for my healing.
Crying out, I tightened around my fingers as I came. I was barely able to keep my eyes open as I watched him come, his release squirting out in jets onto his stomach. Those delicious abs that I wanted to lick now.
The thought surprised me, and I found myself pulling back, needing some space.
“Wow, that was um, yeah,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed now.
“No kidding. I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard. It makes me wish this was real, you know. But even still, it was the best experience of my life, Rose.”
His voice was so kind, so awestruck, that the humiliation disappeared.
“You’re welcome, Cowboy. Have a good night.”
“Bye, Rose.”
“Bye, Cowboy.”
I turned off the camera, shut the laptop, and I laid back in the bed, replaying everything. I just had my first consensual sexual experience, and it hadn’t sucked. It only took about ten months, but I felt like I was finally on my way toward healing. And a shy guy named Cowboy had helped me get there.