Chapter 19
19
MAC
I didn’t believe Rick or Sally Jo when she told me Rainn had left. He wouldn’t leave without at least telling me. But I got stuck in conversations and figured Rainn needed time. But Sally Jo’s self-satisfied smirk made me realize time isn’t what Rainn needs at all.
I want to know what he found, but I also want to wipe the worry from his eyes. Kiss him. Slide into his body and fuck him. I don’t even have the excuse of alcohol. Although I feel drunk. Dizzy with want and desire.
I wait twenty minutes. Make my goodbyes. Ignore my ex. And head to Rainn’s house.
The house is dark except for the light on in the southernmost corner. Rainn’s room. The door is unlocked, so I let myself in and make my way through the house as quietly as I can. It’s an old house, so I take the stairs carefully, hesitating at each squeak. But I reach his room without a problem and knock on the door.
“Come in.”
The first thing I notice is Rainn standing by the bed in sleep shorts and a T-shirt. I take in his body in a way I couldn’t do at the bar. Why does this guy do it for me?
He nods as he opens a cookie tin full of letters. “We were right. Mom sent letters, and Belinda intercepted them before Dad saw them.” Rainn shifts on his feet as I close and lock the door behind me.
“Do you want to read them?”
“Not yet.”
I stride over to him, holding his gaze. He swallows, licking his lips, and I grab his hips and pull him closer. He lets out a groan. And then we’re kissing. I can’t get enough. I attack his mouth, drinking in every moan and gasp. It’s not enough. Moving my hands under his shirt, I try to map out his skin. His body. We stop long enough for Rainn to pull his shirt off. I tug on the buttons of my shirt, and getting impatient, I rip the last two.
“Holy fuck, that’s hot.” He lunges forward and crushes our mouths together. Oh lordy, this man can kiss. And I have no illusions because he’s definitely a man. His stubble ignites a fire in every part of my skin it touches. His hands tug on my jeans, and then he hesitates, his eyes finding mine. “What about the rules?”
“The heck with that.” I don’t care about the rules or the annulment or going back to school tomorrow. Just tonight and this man. I place my hand over his and drag it down to my aching cock. “This is all you, Rainn.”
“Oh God.” He squeezes me, and I just about lose my mind. I whimper, and he does it again.
“Rainn, please,” I beg him. He grabs my pants and pulls them down with my underwear, his eyes never leaving my face. And then he goes down with them, tugging at the legs of my jeans. He stops and laughs, shaking his head.
“What?” I look down. My lust-filled mind clears enough to understand the problem. My boots. I forgot about them. I start to remove them, but Rainn grabs my hand.
“I got this, cowboy.”
He shuffles me over to the bed and sits me down. “I’ve thought about this so many times. Undressing you and taking off your sexy boots.”
He slides them off, one by one, his eyes on me the entire time. Then he pulls my jeans and underwear off the rest of the way. His eyes take in my body and stop on my already hard dick.
I spread my legs and stroke my erection, loving the way he’s watching me. “What else did you think about?”
He stands between my legs, and I want so much. Everything. It overwhelms me. I run my hands up his thighs, teasing the hair on his legs. I press a kiss to his inner thigh. His scent is intoxicating. And his dick is right there. My hands squeeze his perfect ass, and before I can change my mind, I slide a finger in the crack of his butt.
“Mac.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “We don’t have to.”
“I want everything with you.” I rest my cheek against his thigh. “Maybe not all at once.”
Stepping back, he pulls me to my feet. “We can take this slow.” He cradles my face as he kisses me. I feel cherished. Not broken. “Let’s switch.”
He turns us and takes my spot on the bed. Spreading his legs, he invites me in. As I move closer, his eyes roam over my body. My dick juts out, ready for whatever he has planned. He kisses my thigh, teasing me. And I deserve that. His breath on my skin drives me crazy with want. My dick is inches away from his face.
“Rainn, please.”
He touches me. And it’s like I’ve been waiting for this all my life. I know Rainn’s hands. The feel of them in mine. But this is different. He strokes me slowly. The strength. The power. The care. He rubs the tip against his cheek, smearing precum. A quick kiss to the side of my shaft has me whining and begging. He looks up at me. His face is messy and his pupils are blown. He’s so gorgeous like this. I want to lick his face, but I want his mouth on me more.
He swipes his tongue over the tip, and I groan. Oh lordy, so good. His licks under the head have me begging again as he swallows me down. I try to hold back. I don’t want this to be over. But God it’s so good. He pulls off with a pop and catches my eyes.
“I’m trying to take it slow, but fuck, I need you now.” His other hand is wrapped around his hard cock. I close my eyes to stave off my orgasm.
“Lie down, Mac,” he commands, and I scramble to obey. He grabs supplies out of his nightstand, and for a moment, I panic.
Does he want me to— “Rainn?”
He sets them within reach and kisses me. “I’m going to ride you—are you okay with that?”
Holy cow. More than okay, but words are impossible right now. I nod. He kisses me again with a sexy smile and gets to work.
Rainn strips off the rest of his clothes and preps himself. Watching him is sexy as hell. I want to join—work my fingers inside his hot body. But what if I do it wrong? Which is both possible and a silly thing to worry about.
“Watch me,” he insists as he adds more lube and a third finger. “I want your cock, babe. I’ve imagined you fucking me so many times.”
I nod, my mouth dry, and whisper, “Same.”
“You’ve imagined fucking me?”
Another nod.
His breathing increases as he thrusts his fingers into his hole. “With me on my knees and you fucking me from behind? Or facing me with my legs on your shoulders?”
“Yes,” I add with a groan. “And yes.”
“Holy fuck. Enough prep.”
He slides the condom on me and adds more lube. “Ready for the real thing, baby.”
“Rainn, yes, please.”
He lowers himself on my cock, and I squeeze my eyes shut. So tight. So good. Watching would immediately put me over. He takes all of me, his breath coming in quick gasps. “Mac.”
“Ready?”
He nods, and I grip his hips as I pull out and thrust back into him. We get a rhythm going, but it’s not enough.
I wrap my arms around him and flip us so Rainn is under me. He lifts his legs to his chest and spreads them. His body is on display for me. I slide back into him slowly, watching his expression. I’m not prepared for how this feels. How intimate. He’s so beautiful. “Now, Mac. Move.”
I thrust into him, trying to find that spot. He gasps, and his body tightens, squeezing my dick. I see literal stars.
“Come inside me, Mac,” he whispers, and I’m gone. The condom is still between us. But I imagine it’s not as I spill inside him.
Making him mine.
Someone shakes me, and I push them away. Just need another hour of sleep. Or twenty.
“Mac,” Rainn whispers as he gives me another shove. “Wake the fuck up.”
My eyes pop open. Rainn is standing by the bed with his hands in his hair and a freaked-out expression. He’s also, my mind supplies unhelpfully, completely naked. Did we…? This time, there’s no doubt. I had sex with Rainn. The panic I expect to feel isn’t there. Although Rainn is panicked enough for both of us.
Crap. I stare at my hands. “Do you regret—” Clothes hit me in the face. My jeans and underwear. “What the heck?”
Rainn pulls on his jeans and gestures to the window.
A gasp catches in my throat as I scramble out of bed. Daylight. “How?”
“You’re a sneaky snuggler, Eddie McVay. Get the fuck up before my dad finds you naked in my room.”
I slip my clothes on. Keeping my voice low, I add, “I’ve stayed over lots of times.”
He stops cleaning and stares at me, jamming his hands on his hips. He looks glorious. Legs spread apart. Jeans not zipped. Chest bare. Eyes flashing. “The room smells like sex, Mac. I think he’ll notice something’s different.” He lets out a frustrated sound. “And stop looking at me like that. We don’t have time for a repeat.”
I drink him in, from his cute bare feet to his long legs and broad chest. And don’t get me started on his sexy stubble. “Shame.”
Footsteps on the stairs galvanize me into action. I slip on my boots, stick my socks in my pockets, and rush to the window. No one in the side yard, but I’m getting a little too old for this climb.
“Here, don’t forget this,” Rainn says, right beside me. I get caught in his clear blue eyes.
A knock startles us. “Rainn? Are you up?” Sheriff Harding asks, and I hope he doesn’t have his gun on him. I bite back a laugh.
Rainn clamps his hand over my mouth. “Yeah. Getting dressed. I’ll be down in a minute.”
We wait. I stand as still as possible next to Rainn. The man smells like sex, and his hand on my mouth is giving my dick ideas it doesn’t need.
“Hurry up. I thought you were leaving by ten. You don’t want to keep Mac waiting.”
I giggle against Rainn’s hand, and he shushes me. “Yes, sir.”
Once I hear his steps going down the stairs, I relax, and Rainn moves his hand. “You are a menace,” he says fiercely. Then he kisses me, jams my hat on my head, and pushes me toward the window.
The coast is clear, so I climb out and down the trellis. Rainn watches from the window as I jump down. I blow him a kiss and race for home, grinning the entire way.
After two hours, in which I shower, get dressed, and pack, I still feel that buzz of happiness. It’s the same feeling I get when I’m riding Daisy.
“I can’t take it anymore. No one should be that happy on a Saturday morning.” My sister gives me her lawyer-assessing look, and I turn away before the heat goes from my neck to my face.
“He won the pool tournament last night,” Mom says, passing by us with a load of laundry.
“Hmm.” Casey walks around me, and I try to keep my face and body neutral. “You win every year. This seems different.”
“Can’t a guy be happy without getting the third degree?”
“Any other guy? Yes.” She quirks an eyebrow. “You? No.”
Mom walks by again on her way to the kitchen with an empty coffee cup. “He was also with Sally Jo last night.”
“I was not with Sally Jo,” I say defensively, and Casey narrows her eyes. “I wasn’t.”
“She was sitting on your lap, according to Mrs. Forlana.”
What the heck? “She wasn’t even there.”
Something in my tone causes Mom to glance over at me. “She heard it from Tad. So that didn’t happen?”
“Sally Jo sat herself down without even asking. And I didn’t move her right away because—I didn’t want to cause a scene.”
Mom nods with a knowing smile. “Of course.”
Once she’s in the kitchen, Casey focuses back on me. “So you and Sally Jo?”
“Definitely not.”
“Who were you with last night?”
“None ya.”
She crosses her arms, all teasing gone from her face. “You’re right. It’s none of my business. Unless, of course, it nullifies all the hard work I’ve been doing for you and your bestie-slash-accidental husband.”
I open my mouth to respond and close it again, fighting against the urge to throw up. We hadn’t been thinking. At all. Heat floods my face. “Case…” I say weakly.
She gasps and grabs my arm. “I was kidding.” Leaning in, she asks in a harsh whisper, “Did you and Rainn actually consummate the marriage?”
Pressure makes it difficult to talk and I press my hand to my chest, finding the outline of the ring. Some of the pressure eases. “It just happened.”
She laughs. But there’s no joy behind it. Only concern. “So what’s next, Mac? Am I starting over with divorce papers? Or are you staying married to Rainn?”
My response is automatic. “The…papers.” I gesture to them as if she has them in her hands. “I can’t marry a man.”
She snorts. And her thoughts are way too loud.
“You know what I mean, Case.”
Her jaw sets, and this isn’t going to be pretty. The last time she gave me that look, I was fourteen, and she’d caught me sneaking out. “I don’t. You obviously…this isn’t the Dark Ages, Mac. It’s not 2014. Gay marriage is legal.”
“I’m not gay.”
She snorts. Taking a deep breath, she pats my face like I’m five again. “Right. Got it.” She nods like that’s the end of it. It’s never the end of it. “Oh, by the way, little bro? Having sex with a man is a little gay. Or at least gay adjacent.”
Before I can think too much about that my phone rings. Rainn. I smile and regret it when Casey snorts. Turning away from her, I answer. “Hey, Rainn.” My cheeks are hot, but I ignore them. And my sister.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” I bite my lip, aware that Casey is still right there. Should I go to my room? Or ask her to go away? “You?”
“Really good.”
And gosh, the sex he puts into those two words has me hard and frustrated. And embarrassed that my sister gets to witness any of it.
“Give me the phone.”
I stare at my sister in horror. “Uh, no.”
She yanks it out of my hand and is talking to Rainn before I can even react. Darn it. “No sense in crying over spilled milk or whatever,” she says, “but if this was your way of?—”
“Casey!” I grab for my phone again. I’m bigger than her, but she’s fast. It’s all those years of training for martial arts.
She maneuvers away with ease and nods. “Okay, then. I’ll draw up the papers.” She hangs up and hands me the phone.
“Hey,” I protest. “We weren’t done.”
“Got that memo.” At my glare, she laughs. “Your hubby will be here to pick you up in twenty minutes.”
The ride back to Kansas City starts out fine, with shared smiles and even a kiss when we stop for gas at the next town over. But the closer we get, the more my stomach twists in knots. We live in Overland Park, a suburb on the Kansas side of the city, and share an apartment with another guy. Slade is also a med student. He lived there when I moved in three years ago. Rainn was in his last year of premed, and I was just starting my Ag degree. I worked on my uncle’s farm a few years before starting school.
How is this going to work? Are we telling Slade anything? Or keeping our relationship—marriage—a secret?
Rainn is gripping the steering wheel with both hands even though the traffic is light.
“You okay?”
He pushes out a breath and glances over. “Yeah.” He sets his right hand on the middle console. I grab it and thread our fingers together before he can change his mind.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“It’s a lot,” he says with a laugh. “Are you sure?”
I wrap my other hand around his. “I’m sure.”
He shrugs, and it feels like he’s gathering his thoughts. “Well, there’s the letters.”
Crap. I forgot about the letters. I try to pull my hand away, but he holds on.
“And I don’t know what to do about us being back at school and Slade.” He darts a glance at me and then back at the road. “And clinical rotations start this year. With that and tons of studying and your practicum?—”
“That’s spring semester. But you’re right. It’s a lot.”
He nods.
I pull on his hand, and he glances over. I hold his gaze for just a second. Not enough to distract him from driving just so he can see I mean what I say. “It’s infinitely better than I expected.” I hesitate. But just for a second. “I wasn’t looking forward to you being married to Cher and me breaking in a new roomie.” Or losing my best friend, but I keep that to myself.
The look he sends me is soft. Sweet. “Tell me what to do, Mac.”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t work like that. You have to decide for yourself. But my thoughts are we should keep it—us—quiet. For now. Until we figure it all out.”
“I agree.”
And why does that hurt so much? I shake it off. “Anything else on your mind?”
He bites his bottom lip, and even in profile, I can tell his dimple is there. “There’s one other thing.”
“What’s that?” I ask in a low voice, my mind going to images of last night.
“I keep picturing you riding me with your cowboy hat on.”