23
KIERA
"I thought I got your address wrong," Tammy says when she steps off the elevator.
I shake my head. "No, I switched apartments a few weeks ago."
"Is that why you haven't been picking up our Facetime calls?" Ellie says. "I mean, I get it, looking for a new place to live in Boston must be a nightmare."
"Kind of." I feel a stab of guilt for lying to them.
Tammy whistles under her breath. "Well, you definitely upgraded. The place looks great."
"It's the same rent as my last place," I say.
"Really? Then why were you looking for a new place?" Ellie says.
The lies are catching up to me. My friends know me all too well. The only reason I've avoided telling them the truth until now is because I've kept my distance in the last two months.
"I just needed a change of scenery, I guess." This part isn't a lie. After I left Jake's apartment, I knew I had to find a place quickly. I got this great place on Airbnb where I was for the first two weeks, but it was eating into my savings fast.
I hadn't officially quit yet, because I didn't want to raise eyebrows, and I had only so much of PTA leaves.
I had drafted a resignation letter, and it was sitting on my laptop, waiting to go out. I hadn't looked into any new jobs, though, because I was debating moving out to my parents'. I haven't told them about my "situation" yet, but I'm sure they'll be supportive. They always are.
Tammy drops her bags at the door and closes the distance between us with a bear hug. I melt into her arms, smelling her familiar Palmer's moisturizer. It takes me right back to our childhood, when things were much simpler. "I miss you, Kie."
"I missed you too, Tam-Tam," I say, hugging her back. She has no idea how much this hug means to me. To my horror, tears stab at the corner of my eyes.
"Looks like somebody missed me," Tammy teases. "Although the way you've been blowing me off, I thought for sure you had found a new best friend."
"Or a sneaky link," Ellie says, hugging me next.
"Yeah, Ellie was convinced that you had gotten yourself a man," Tammy says.
"Not just any, though. Like this burly, bearded Parisian man who understands very little English."
I laugh. It's the first time after so many weeks. "That sounds a little too specific."
The door down the hallway opens, and the disapproving face of my neighbor peeks out with a frown.
"We better take this inside," I say.
Tammy looks around. "Don't get me wrong, Kie. The place looks great, but don't you think it's a little smaller than your last one?"
"Maybe," I say.
"It's probably just closer to her office," Ellie says. "Boston traffic can be atrocious."
"How's that going, by the way?" Tammy asks, dropping to my couch. Most of the furniture was here when I moved in, and since I've decided that I won't be in the city for much longer anyway, it didn't make sense to buy anything new.
"You still haven't unpacked," Ellie comments. "When did you move in?"
"About two weeks ago," I say. The only reason I chose this place, apart from the nominal rent, is that it has a refundable deposit in case I decide to leave at the end of the month. Which I will be.
"Your couch looks different," Tammy says, sort of bouncing up and down on it.
"Yeah, yeah, it's not mine," I say.
Tammy and Ellie exchange a glance. "What's really going on with you?"
"Nothing," I say. "Look, I know we are supposed to be having brunch right now, but I’m not really in the mood. Could we please stay in for a little bit longer?"
Ellie opens and closes her mouth and then seems to think better of it.
"Yeah. I'll go make myself comfortable," Tammy says, giving me a weird look.
My stomach churns. I absolutely hate lying to my best friends, but I know what their reaction is going to be when they find out that I hooked up with Jake. I'm not ready to hear I-told-you-so right now. I go into my room to change too.
The last couple of weeks I've been on my couch, having vegan ice-cream and tweaking with my museum project notes.
I know that I technically don't have to work right now, and that I leave in a few weeks, but I still feel a sense of responsibility towards the company. Not to Jake, though. Definitely not to him.
Just the thought of him makes my heart ache. I still can't believe that he cheated on me, and had the gall to lie to me, probably thinking that I'd never find out because I'm across an ocean.
I know Chris isn't exactly a trustworthy person, but I did see Jake’s name on his phone as he was calling, and that woman answered.
Jake didn't call or text me since his flight took off, probably because he was busy with her.
My heart throbs almost painfully, and I feel light-headed. I have to lean against the wall to steady myself.
How could he do this to me? After all the promises? After telling me that he loves me? Tears gather at the corner of my eyes.
I can’t do this.
Tammy comes into my room while she fixes her earring. "Kiera have you—" She stops when she sees me. "Kiera are you okay? You're white as a ghost."
"I'm fine," I say. "Just a little vitamin deficiency."
“Are you sure?” she asks, walking further into the room. “It isn’t anything else, is it?”
“No,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying.
How long can I stand it before I end up spilling? These are my best friends. They know me better than anybody else in the world.
My heart squeezes painfully, as I think about Jake and how close I felt to him again. Jake and I were a couple just weeks ago. And he still went and cheated on me.
Maybe it's time to accept that this is just my fate. Other girls get their prince charming, while I have guys cheating on me. It has happened too many times for it to be just a coincidence.
We go into the living room and Ellie and Tammy take the seat opposite to mine. Ellie is frowning. "Is everything okay with you? You've been acting so weird."
"You totally are."
"That's not true," I say. "I just want to spend time with my best friends."
Tammy's face softens. "You're right. This time is about us."
“I’m getting us a bottle of chardonnay."
"I’ll stick with the water, thanks,"
Ellie and Tammy exchange a look. "Excuse me?"
"Who are you? And what did you do to our friend Kiera?" Ellie says.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're saying no to chardonnay?" Tammy says. "Kiera freaking Crofton?"
"Yes, well," I say. "I'm laying off alcohol. I've got this whole reinvention thing I'm trying to do."
"Wow. Jake Bennett really got to you," Ellie says, shaking his head.
I almost spit out my water. "What?"
"Yeah. Look at you. ‘Reinventing yourself’?" Tammy says, doing air quotes as she goes to grab the bottle. "What does that even mean?"
"That guy is worse than the devil."
I look down at my feet, not knowing what to say.
"Let's not talk about work right now," Ellie says, maybe noticing the look on my face. "Who wants a shrimp cocktail?"
When they veer off Jake's topic, things actually get much better. As I stick with water and they down a bottle of chardonnay, I catch up with what they've been up to. Tammy is thinking of switching jobs.
"How do you like Boston?" she says.
"Why do you ask?"
"I thought I could move out here, and we can be roomies."
Oh no. My stomach sinks. "Sounds like a good idea."
"I'm also moving," Ellie says. "I want to be closer to Kendal. The distance between us is killing me."
"Oh, my god, Ellie, that's amazing."
"Well, it was about time," Ellie says. "And considering Los Angeles's soaring real estate prices, it only makes sense."
"You know, I almost forgot how fun it is to be with you people," Tammy says, kissing me on my cheek. She gets up and walks a little unsteadily toward her room.
Both of my friends are more than a little tipsy.
I laugh. "Me too."
Tammy walks past my laptop and stops. "Hey, your laptop keeps blinking."
"Yeah, it's been doing that for a few days. It refuses to shut down."
"Let me take a look," Tammy says.
"Tammy, you don't have to do that," I say, panicking when I remember the last thing I was doing when I left it.
But it's too late.
Tammy frowns as she scrolls through the screen for a couple of seconds before turning to me. "You're quitting?"
I don’t reply. My stomach feels queasy, and it’s a miracle that I don’t throw up right there and there.
"Surprise," I say.
"Why are you quitting? I thought you loved the job," she says.
Ellie who had disappeared into the room comes out. "What's going on?"
"Kiera is quitting her job," she says.
"Why?" she says. "I thought you loved the restoration projects. You were so excited about the museum collaboration."
I look at their hopeful faces, and I cannot bear it anymore. I burst into tears as I slowly slide down to the ground.
Tammy and Ellie rush toward me.
“Kiera, what’s wrong?”
My eyes blur as I continue to bawl my eyes out. This is the first time I’ve let myself out like this ever since I first found out the truth about Jake.
My friends let me cry myself out. Tammy rubs my back while Ellie goes away and returns with a bottle of water and some tissues. The tears eventually ease, and I wipe them away with the back of my hand.
“I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
“It’s okay if the job got too overwhelming. And maybe working with Jake wasn’t the best idea,” Tammy says.
I start bawling again.
“Oh, my God, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring it up. It’s okay to find a new job overwhelming.”
I shake my head. "That’s not why I was, and I still am, quitting. It’s because I'm pregnant."
There’s a pause. Both my best friends gawk at me, their mouths hanging open and for a few moments, no one says anything.
"What?" Ellie says. "Oh, my God, Kiera. That's huge." Both lean in for a hug, and in that moment, I’m grateful for their presence.
"Are you serious?" Tammy says. "Oh, my God, everything makes sense now. That's why you've been acting so moody lately."
"I've not been moody," I say.
"You have," Ellie says. She runs up to me, stumbling a little before she hugs me. Tammy joins in and we're in our little circle.
I'm so overwhelmed that tears start flowing down my cheeks.
"I'm so happy for you, Kiera."
"You don't think it's weird?"
"You're twenty-five. These kinds of things happen," Ellie says. "So, when are we meeting the father?"
Tammy and Ellie look at me expectantly. "Actually, he's not in the scene anymore."
"What do you mean, he's not in the scene? Was it a one-night stand?"
"No," I say.
"Does he refuse to take responsibility?" Tammy says. “Because if that’s the case, then I can go out there and kick his ass. I’m serious. All I need is an address.”
"You don’t have to do that.”
“Why not?” Tammy asks with a frown.
“Him not taking responsibility isn’t the issue here.”
"Then what's the problem?" Tammy says.
"Maybe we can talk to him," Ellie suggests, giving Tammy a meaningful look. “Without resorting to violence.”
"No, you can't do that,” I say, protectively cradling my belly. I don’t want Jake anywhere near me or the baby. He doesn’t deserve that."
"Why not? I'm a lawyer. I can be pretty convincing."
I can't hold it in anymore. "Because it's Jake. Jake is the father."
Dead silence follows my confession.
"Jake Bennett knocked you up?" Tammy says. "Are you serious?"
"Yes."
“I’m going to kill that bastard,” Ellie says furiously. “Jake Bennett, I’ve never met you in my life but the second I see you, I’ll murder you.”
Despite everything, the look on Ellie’s face is so intense that I find it hilarious.
"The high school prophecy is coming true," Tammy says. “I can’t believe it.”
"What?"
"In school, everybody used to say you and Jake are going to end up together."
"Who said it?"
"Everybody," Tammy says.
"I thought he was the devil," Ellie says. "How did this happen?"
"I realized I was being unfair to him."
"You were? Then why are you living here alone? And why have you not brought him up even once? And why don’t you want him around the baby?"
"Because we're not together anymore."
"Why?" Ellie says.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, looking away.
“You kind of have to, Kiera. You’re pregnant, and you’re obviously upset about that happened,” Tammy says, dabbing my face with a tissue. “But first let’s get you up.”
"I think we should sit down for this," Tammy says. "You don't look so good, Kiera."
She leads me to the couch and gives me some more water while they wait patiently for me to calm down.
I lean back against the couch. “Are we really doing this right now?”
“We have all the time in the world. We’re staying here for a week, remember?”
“And Kiera, it’s important we talk about this. It’s not just about you. It’s about your baby, as well.”
I sigh. Better to rip the band-aid out quickly. I know it will hurt when I tell them what actually happened. But it’s inevitable. They want to know, and I can’t hide it anymore.
And Tammy is right. I can’t do this alone, even though I thought I might.
I give them a rundown of everything that has happened. "That's why I'll be resigning and moving out of the city. I'll be staying with my parents."
"Does Jake know you’re pregnant with his child?" Tammy says. “I mean, he’s not heartless.”
"Yes, but I’m not letting him anywhere near my child," I say. "I don’t want my baby to have to deal with a lying, cheating father."
"Not sure you can do that. He's aware of the child, and he's trying to make contact," Ellie says.
"Am I doing anything illegal?"
She shakes her head. "No, but he might have grounds on taking you to court."
I scoff. "I doubt he'll do that. He's happy with the other woman."
"Yes, but if he's so awful—" Ellie begins.
"He's not that bad," I say.
Tammy shakes her head. "I can't believe you're still defending him after everything that has happened."
"I'm not defending him," I say. “I want nothing to do with him. I'm still moving out. And he's happy with her, whoever she is. It's a happy ending all around."
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Tammy says, her fists balled.
"Tammy, no. I've made my peace with it. I was actually thinking of moving out at the end of the month, but I don't want to delay it," I say. "It'll be worse after you guys are gone."
"What are you saying?" Ellie says.
"I think I'll leave with you," I say. "By the end of the week."