6. Dan
Chapter 6
Dan
Six weeks later, Wednesday, October 15
The neon cards
One minute past midnight. It’s not my birthday anymore. Thank fuck.
I arrive home, drunk, in a terrible mood, and with the brunette who insisted she come home with me to make me feel better. Ally is spending the night at her uncle Daxton’s apartment, otherwise there’s no way I would have invited the brunette back here. We met at a random party tonight. She tells me her name is Tiffany.
She clutches my hand with reservation as soon as we step through the front door. “The lights are on. I thought you said everyone would be asleep.”
“They are asleep.”
Amabella probably left the lights on for me. She does motherly things like that. Any other day of the year I’d appreciate her maternal ways. Right now, it’s a reminder of how I’ve never known my own mother.
For the past couple of years, I’ve spent each birthday drunk and away from my family because it’s easier this way, to block out that my mother died giving birth to me and how my father never formed a bond with me because of it. I’ve never stopped feeling guilty over my brothers growing up without their mother. I’d rather not spend the day pretending to be happy. Most of all, I can’t deal with my father acting as though we have any kind of relationship.
He and my brothers know to give me space on this day. Ally and Amabella are new to the scene and insisted on celebrating my birthday. It took some convincing for them to agree that I be left alone.
The alcohol’s buzz is wearing off. I need a distraction from the weight of my birthday and how every day, all day, all I can think about is undressing Ally and kissing every part of her body. She recently told me she’s a virgin. I’d already guessed as much, but hearing the words made me that much more desperate to take her first time and teach her how to ride my cock.
Just thinking about that visual has me hard right now. The brunette notices and smiles. It’s a sloppy smile, impacted by the alcohol. But she’s only drunk enough to be tipsy, so I don’t feel bad leading her to my bedroom. I need to fuck something hard and come to the thought of my pretty blond.
As soon as I’ve closed my bedroom door behind us, Tiffany is tugging off my jacket and shirt. She strips out of her dress, completely naked but for a thong.
Someone knocks on the door. “I’m busy,” I call, staring at the tits in front of me.
“Dan?”
Fuck.
I’m instantly sober at the sound of Ally’s voice. She calls out my name, filled with concern. Panic rushes through me at the thought of her finding me in here with another girl. What the fuck is she doing home?
“Who’s that?” Tiffany asks, loud enough for Ally to hear, and I quickly place a hand over her mouth.
“I can’t talk right now,” I call out to Ally.
“Yeah, I can tell.” Her voice flips to pure sarcasm. The tone is sharp, unlike anything I’ve ever heard from Ally. “I sent you a text earlier, asking if you were okay. Would have been nice if you replied.”
I groan with frustration and open the door halfway, hiding Tiffany behind it. Ally stands before me, wrapped in a pink dressing gown. Her eyes drop to my bare torso and her cheeks flash red. A second later, she looks at something on the floor behind me, and I realize it’s Tiffany’s dress.
I kick the dress out of view. “I thought you were at Daxton’s house tonight. I wouldn’t have brought?—”
She scoffs. “Please, Dan, you’re allowed to fuck whoever you want, and clearly you do.”
I suck in a surprised breath. This is the first time I’ve heard Ally swear and it sounds so vulgar coming from her mouth. She knows I have sex with girls. We don’t talk about it with each other, but she knows. She’s been aware from the very start. The only thing she doesn’t know is that sleeping with girls is my way of keeping her at bay, redirecting the sexual frustration I have over her, because if I don’t have a sexual outlet, I’ll end up losing control and fucking her.
And that can’t happen.
Regardless, Ally seeing me with a girl right in front of her face is more confronting than just being aware of my habits, and I can’t blame her for being mad. She sneaks into my bed most nights, ever since the engagement party a few weeks back. Though all we do is sleep tangled in each other’s arms, and though there’s no commitment between us, those sleepovers are intimate. Sleeping in someone’s arms has an intimacy that even sex can’t offer.
“I asked for privacy today,” I tell her. When I saw her text come through, it made me feel like even more of a fuck up, knowing the feelings for her that I shouldn’t have. With all the weight attached to my birthday, I didn’t want to face my feelings for Ally.
She glares at me. “I gave you privacy. But a simple text to let me know you were okay would have been nice. You tell me your birthday is the worst day of your year, how can I not worry about you?” Ally reaches into the pocket of her dressing gown and retrieves a small package, shoving it against my chest. “Here. I got you a present.”
“I asked you not to do that.”
“I know. I guess I’m an idiot and decided I care about you too much to listen. It won’t happen again.”
She enters her bedroom and slams the door, the lock clicking shut. I rake a hand through my hair and swear. Upsetting Ally is the last thing I want to do. Maybe I was too harsh on her.
I knock on her bedroom door and call out her name. When there’s no answer, I look down at the present in my hand and unwrap it. Inside is a deck of playing cards. I pull them out of their package and skim through them, each one black and with neon skull artwork. I rest my forehead against her door and groan, feeling more guilty. Ally gave me the perfect present—personal, simple—and here I am being a dick to her.
I hate that I’ve upset her, this girl who, with just one look, one smile, makes me feel like the center of the universe. She doesn’t have many trusted people in her life, which makes being one of her trusted people feel so much more special and rewarding. It’s sad that so few people get to see the side of her that I do. The fun, dedicated, caring girl.
“Ally.” I knock on her door again, my voice quiet. “I’m sorry. Please let me in. I love the present.”
No answer. I return to my bedroom and enter our shared bathroom, trying the door handle to her room, finding it locked too.
“Dan,” the naked girl in my bed calls. “Are you coming?”
I return to my room and hand the girl her dress. “You need to leave.”