11. Dan
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DAN
We walk back to the beach house in silence, with Ally a step ahead of me the entire way. My eyes never stray from her petite body. A pink ribbon is tangled through the ends of her blond hair, a mess from the ocean breeze. The bottom of her dress flaps in the wind, high around her thighs, revealing a glimpse of white lace panties every so often. I’ll jerk off to the sight of it later.
My gaze flicks to her hand. I want to grab it and tug her back to me, then shove Ally against the side of the house and hold her there with the weight of my body as my lips slam into hers. I want to rip those white panties off and sink my dick into that tight virgin pussy.
Most of all, I want to be enough for her. I want to be the one who makes her happy.
She climbs the steps to the front door and turns the handle, stepping inside. The impulse to tell her all these things takes over and I reach for her hand?—
“Ally, honey, how are you feeling?” Amabella’s right there, along with my dad, the two of them walking down the main staircase in the entryway .
My hand shoots back to my side.
“Much better. I’m sorry if I frightened you yesterday.”
They meet us on the marbled floor and Amabella strokes a hand through Ally’s hair. “What had you so upset, darling?”
“We’ll talk about it later, okay? I need to shower and freshen up.”
“Of course. We’ll be in the living room when you’re ready to talk.”
Amabella and Dad exit the main entryway, leaving me alone with Ally. I watch as she heads for her room upstairs, scolding myself for losing control a moment ago with my need for her. Before Ally climbs the first step, I catch her peering over her shoulder at me and smiling.
“You all good?” I ask.
Her smile breaks into a soft laugh. “Yeah. I’m just happy. You’re a good guy. Thanks for helping me.”
Jesus fuck. If she knew my real motives, she’d be furious. “Go take your shower, Ally.”
She climbs the rest of the stairs, disappearing out of sight. I’ll work hard to boost her confidence because I want her to be happy and feel comfortable in her skin. She deserves friends. As for a boyfriend, I’m keeping her for myself. Agreeing to help her find a boyfriend is only a means of stalling until she realizes how good we are together.
“Thank you for being such an amazing brother,” Amabella calls out from the next room over. “How is she?”
I enter the living room, finding Dad and Amabella with a cup of coffee and sitting on the couch. “Boy issues. She’ll survive.”
Amabella places a hand at the base of her neck. “Oh, the poor thing. ”
My father nods at me. “Thank you for taking care of her. Will you be staying the day? I’d like us to chat.”
Aside from his quick greeting last night, this is the first contact we’ve had since our argument two weeks ago. He called me once, but I ignored it, knowing the conversation would end in a fight, as it always does with him.
“I don’t have much spare time.” It’s not a lie. I have the whole day free but no time for my father’s shit. “I’ll see you two later.”
Leaving him and Amabella alone, I head out back to the pool, slumping onto a sun lounger with my eyes closed and listening to the ocean while contemplating how best to approach this teaching thing with Ally. We’ll start with getting her a friend. Make it a guy too. That will give her practice talking to the opposite sex. The thought of helping Ally meet a guy who is intended for friendship only is a whole lot easier for me to stomach than helping her find a date.
I run through a mental list of who could be a good friend for Ally. The selection of guys I know isn’t appealing. The majority only view women as opportunities for sex. The remaining guys are in committed relationships whose partner would be suspicious of their man getting friendly with a girl as beautiful as Ally.
One guy comes to mind.
I dial Theo Wilson’s number. He’s a couple years older than me and frequents poker games at The Scarlet Mirage. He’s friends with Felix and I’ve learned a lot about poker from him too. We have a few drinks every time we cross paths but rarely play together anymore since I know all his tricks.
Theo answers my call right away. “Blackwood, good to hear from you. ”
“Hey, man, I’ve got a random question for you.”
“Hit me.”
“Your brother, Liam, the jazz musician, he’d be about twenty, right?”
I’ve met Liam a couple times in passing when his band has performed at The Scarlet Mirage. We’ve had a few casual conversations and he’s a friendly guy. Average in looks. Respects women and isn’t fucking everything in sight from what I can tell. Perhaps Ally and Liam can bond over music.
“Yeah, Liam is twenty-one. Why?”
“My… sister—” Fuck, that label never stops feeling dirty on my lips. I never stop liking it. “Ally is back from a year abroad. She’s looking to meet some new people and make friends. Do you think Liam would be interested in getting to know her? They’re both musicians. I thought it could be a good match.”
“I’ll text him about it now and get back to you.”
“All right, man. Good talking to you.”
No sooner than I end the call, Ally enters the pool area with a bowl of fruit and is wearing nothing but a white bikini. What the actual fuck. Is she trying to kill me? Or is she that adamant about us being friends and siblings that she has no care factor of me seeing her half-naked?
“You’re going for a swim right after a shower?”
“I skipped the shower,” she says. “Thought a cold swim would be more refreshing.”
Ally places the bowl on the sun lounger beside me and I get a glimpse of her from behind, of the fabric that barely covers her ass. My cock is more than aware of her body too. With the little amount of fabric covering Ally, I’m reminded of all the times I saw her naked. She’s thinner than I remember. Too thin, but I can picture what her body would look like beneath the bikini. The perfect shape of her tits. Her smooth pussy. I can hear her breathy moans from the time she teased me by leaving the bathroom door open while showering, giving herself an orgasm with the showerhead.
Ally dives into the water, surfacing with her hair slicked back. She places her forearms on the pool ledge, resting her chin on the backs of her hands. “Do you mind passing me an apple?”
Not with the situation that’s going on in my pants. I toss her the apple instead, hoping she doesn’t clue onto my reason for staying seated. Luckily, she catches it.
“Why are you glaring at me?” she asks, biting into the flesh.
I only realize the harsh look on my face once she points it out. “You’re too thin. Did you even eat in Paris?”
She frowns. “I told you last night, Paris was rough. I was lonely and… the panic attacks were an issue. I guess I didn’t take care of myself as well as I could have but it wasn’t on purpose.”
“Fuck, Ally. I wish you would have—” I don’t let myself finish that sentence. It will be no use. What am I going to say, that I wish she would have reached out to me for help? Or that she should have let me be with her in Paris, which had been my plan all along when I applied to that scholarship for her. Speaking those words won’t achieve anything.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. I got through the panic attacks like you taught me to.” There’s a quietness to her voice but I can hear the shame. I understand everything her words don’t say.
That night at the party when she was sixteen and I was able to calm her panic attack by holding her hands and telling her to focus on my eyes as I instructed her through breathing exercises. Afterward, giving her the Queen of Hearts card. Over the following years, Ally told me she always thinks back to that moment when needing to calm herself during a panic attack.
From the current shame in her eyes, it’s clear she still uses that intimate memory to calm herself. I realize I’m staring at her when she blushes and drops her gaze.
“Ally…”
“So, what’s my first lesson going to be?” She takes another bite from the apple.
My God, she’s infuriating how she avoids speaking about… us . We’re not a thing of the past. I can see it so clearly in her eyes. She just doesn’t want to have feelings for me.
Before I can say anything more, I get a text from Theo.
Theo: Liam is interested in chatting with Ally. What’s her number? I’ll send it to him.
A sour taste rises in my mouth. I send Theo a quick response, clarifying the friendship part and omitting Ally’s number.
“You know you’re an attractive girl,” I say, answering Ally’s question. “You have an amazing personality too. But only your most trusted people get to see that side of you. You need to learn how to relax and feel comfortable around a guy without the pressure of trying to impress him. We need a guy for you to become friends with before any romantic relationship is considered. If you end up being attracted to him, we’ll discuss what the next step is. If there’s no chemistry, at least you’ve made a friend. I know a guy I think you’d get along with.”
“Okay, I like your thinking. Who is he?”
“His name is Liam. He’s my age and is a jazz musician.”
She pretends to blanch at the jazz part and laughs, being classically trained. My dick twitches from that laugh. Jesus fucking Christ. Can she do anything that won’t turn me on?
“I suppose beggars can’t be choosers. Do you have a photo of him?” she asks.
I pull up my web browser and search for an image of Liam’s band, joining Ally at the ledge of the pool.
She studies the image on my phone, her expression indiscernible. “Not really my type but maybe that will help with my nerves.”
I resist groaning. “He’s not a date, remember.”
“True. How should I approach this guy?”
“We could organize something for next weekend.”
“We? As in you’d be there too, right?”
“No. I’m abandoning you and setting you up for failure.” I flick her with water.
“Dan,” Ally laughs, the sound making me desperate to kiss her. She flicks water back.
“Of course I’ll be there with you.” Queen.
I don’t speak the name out loud. After I gave Ally the Queen of Hearts, I started calling her my queen. She used to love it. One day, I’ll speak the name out loud to her again.
“Good. Maybe I’ll be able to relax with you by my side and Liam will see this amazing personality you keep insisting I have.”
I return to the sun lounger, muttering under my breath, “He’ll see it, but he’s not having you.”